Chapter 8

I walked back into the tower. Jinx said she had a few things to take care of, and she would meet me in the morning and catch up with each other. I had parked in my usual spot, and was headed for the fridge to find something to eat.

"Ryk,"

Robin's voice stopped me cold. There was something wrong here, something very wrong.

"We need to talk."

I reached out instinctively with my mind. It was my past they didn't like, and now they didn't like me because of it. I was led around to the main room, where the rest of the team sat waiting. Starfire looked ready to cry, Raven's face was colder than usual, none of the rest of them would even make eye contact with me. I had tried to protect them from my past, and now it was coming back to haunt me like I never thought it would.

Page after page of information about my past was displayed on the screen behind me, casting an overwhelming amount of evidence against me.

"Why weren't we told about this?" Robin started

"It was better that way."

"Oh, right, leave your teammates out of the loop, don't tell us you are a dangerous assassin, just go on like you're average Joe Schmoe who wants nothing more than to help his fellow man?" Robin spat.

But that's all I had tried to do, wasn't it?

Robin went on, "How are you going to explain yourself now?"

I figured the best way to start was with the truth, and nothing but the truth. Nothing hidden, and nothing left out.

"Let me tell you about an assassin you know very well. Namely, myself." I began. "My first hit was when I was only 13 years old, the target? An elderly gentleman named James Duffy, a rich owner of a cattle farm. Why I was asked to knock him off was of no concern of mine, neither did I care, I was trained since birth for this job, and they paid well. It was a 2 million pay off just for - taking care - of one man. It wasn't an easy project, but I had been trained to wait and be patient. When the time came, I was ready, and did my job without hesitation. This continued from target to target, state to state, and yes, even at times, when the price was right, from one country against another. Saddaam? He was never captured, the pictures are forged. He was one of my later targets. And yes, Robin I did take care of Poison Ivy for you and the Bat. As a matter of fact, I believe that it was the Bat's alter ego that paid me for the endeavor."

I hit his head with my own thoughts. "Bruce Wayne, Wayne Enterprises, the payoff was 4.5 million, it came across the books as a failed experiment, number 11425 if I remember correctly."

Robin flinched at the thought of what all I knew.

I continued. "I enjoyed toying with Ivy. She was a basket case to begin with. Far to wrapped up in herself, and she panicked when I didn't fall for her devices. Her mental stability finally collapsed, and she went mad before I finished the job. The next job I was hired to take out a girl named Jenny Lynn Lyteheart. I needed the money from this job, my movements as of late had put me a bit behind the bill collectors, and I didn't exactly deal with the cleanest of people. I decided just to do this one quick and clean, so I broke into "her" house in the middle of the night. My information led me right to her room. There was a wooden sign hanging on the closed door, her name painted in a flowery style. I opened the door silently, entered the room, and closed it behind me. I turned to see a crib sitting on the far side of the room. There had to be some mistake, nobody hired an assassin to kill a baby. Especially not for the 3 mil offered for this job. I desperately searched around the room, but to no avail. And then I saw it. On infant's pajamas was embroidered the two words "Jenny Lynn". I couldn't do it. I stood there with my blade in hand, and could not do it. I knew I was sealing my own fate, but I could not kill this child. In my rage towards the job I had been given, and my instant hate for the one who had put me on this assignment, I returned to him, and slew him. I knew from the beginning that as soon as I ended my buyers life, I would instantly become a high dollar target for other assassins, the payoff for my head sits somewhere around fifty two million right now. I didn't care, I was done dealing with slime like him. I swore from that day forward to do nothing other than protect those who cannot afford people like me to do it for them. That was two years ago next month. I have been fighting as a freelance "hero" since then, until I found our friends here playing chew toys in the sewers."

Raven's face hardened even farther, and BB's gaze fell to the ground.

"And I think that brings things to about current, doesn't it?"

"Nice story," Robin retorted. "I don't buy it."

My face fell.

"Who's the hit on?"

I looked Raven and answered her. "You don't get it do you? I was trying to start over, and you all here were my hope at finally trying to correct what I had already done wrong."

"You're lying." Raven snapped.

"Raven, think about what you are saying carefully. Don't you remember our meditation just a few days ago? You felt everything about me swirling around you, don't you think you would have noticed any ill intent towards you or the rest of the titans?"

The sorceress bit her lip, looking down towards the floor.

It was Cyborg's turn to get on my case now

"Get out." he growled.

What?

I stood there, not believing my own ears

"You heard me, get out before you hurt any of my 'real' friends."

My heart sank, and I hung my head. "I understand…I think." I mumbled.

I couldn't put up much of a fight, this was their tower, after all. And I was just a Titan initiate, not even the true blue, just an initiate. I hadn't even received a communicator yet.

I shuffled my way out of the room, and the rest of the Titans began to disperse. I made my way down to my room, and packed up the meager few things that I owned. I had lost so much over the last two years, just trying to survive, and now I had lost the only friends I had ever had. I sat down, my head falling into my hands, and I cried. For the first time in my life since my sister had been taken from me, I truly cried.

I sat there for a good ten minutes before I could pull myself together enough to finish packing. My eyes fell across my music collection, and one CD in particular caught my eye. I slipped it into my computer, and quickly copied one of the songs onto a blank disk. I finished packing my stuff, and turned around to leave, only to see Raven standing in the doorway. She was standing there holding the outfit that she had borrowed in the hotel room that one night. It felt so long ago now, a lifetime behind me.

"I…I figured you would want these back," she stammered.

I wished she would just disappear. I closed my eyes, and prayed she wouldn't be there when I opened them. And yet, there she stood, my cloths folded neatly and laying on top of her outstretched arms. I stepped towards her, swallowing the lump in my throat. My hands slid under her arms, and pushed them back into her chest, forcing her to 'hug' the outfit.

"Keep it." I said, "and please…please don't forget me."

Raven bit her lip, and I could have swore a single tear made its way down her cheek.

I let my arms encircle her, pulling her close. The girl didn't even attempt to resist. "You're the closest friend I've ever had." I whispered in her ear. I broke the hug, and turned to my bag.

"Why does it have to end like this?" she mumbled.

"It doesn't." I quietly replied, "One day the Titans will be ready for one more on the team. When that time comes, let me know. I'll be waiting. You know how to get a hold of me."

Raven turned her back to me, facing the wall, fighting with her emotions. I took the moment to make my disappearance. Raven turned to say something else, but I was already gone.

I made one last stop by the main room, leaving a few last things on the counter in the kitchen area. Taking one last look around the tower, I headed for the elevator, and from there, to the garage. I climbed in my sleek black car, fired it up, listening to the engine echo off the walls one last time, the turbo hiss pop through the serene silence, and put the car into gear, slowly rolling out past the doors and down the land bridge back towards main land.

I reached over for the radio, turning it on. Papa Roach's Scars came across loud and clear

And I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

And my weakness is

That I care to much

And my scars remind me

That the past is real

I tear my heart open, just to feel

I pulled the car over to the side of the road, and broke out once again into tears. I never moved from that spot for the entire night, the tower in my rear-view mirror, the city in front of me.

--------------------

Sunlight rudely awakened me from my sleep, slapping me in the face, and bringing me back to my harsh reality. I started my car, and drove off to where I was to meet my sister for breakfast.

--------------------

Back in the tower

Raven was the first one up the next morning, as usual. She walked quietly to the main room to find something to eat before her morning meditation, and that's when she saw it. Laying in plain view on the kitchen counter was my outfit, a sheet of paper, and a thin CD case. She pushed the CD aside, and picked up the hand written note. On it were a few hastily scrawled lines.

Dear Teen Titans,

I am truly sorry that I could not live up to your expectations. I want you all to know that I was there for the right reasons. I am no longer an assassin, nor have I been in the past two years. I cannot yet bring myself to leave this city, it has become to much of home to me, so you may see me around from time to time. Please do not be afraid to say hello if you do see me, I promise I do not hold this against you.

-Ryk

Raven looked up from the note to see Starfire standing there with the CD in her petite hands.

"Well," Raven said, "shall we see what he has to say for his parting words?"

Star nodded slowly, her lip quivering.

Cyborg was 'sleeping' on the couch. He had been there all night.

Raven woke him when she walked by. He sat up, rubbing his one human eye.

"Raven, what's going on?" he asked.

She held up the disc, informing the titanium titan that she had found it left behind with my 'Titan' t-shirt I wore to fight in.

"Well, let's…" he paused, "let's see what his last words to us are."

All three were surprised when, instead of the voice that they expected, a drum beat and a guitar riff started off the only track on the disc.

"Who's playing Avril Lavigne this early in the morning?" a drowsy Beast Boy was stumbling into the room

"SSHHHHHH!"

All three of the titans hushed him at once.

"Ryk left behind the compacted discus when he took his leave yesterday" Starfire whispered.

They all quieted down and listened to the lyrics, trying to catch my thoughts hidden in a song.

The chorus started in…

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

All of the memories so close to me just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

So much for my happy ending

Starfire dropped to her knees, her voice cracking and broken. "Were we the ones in the wrong in this case?"

Cyborg shook his head. "Star, we couldn't risk it, he's to…"

"And what if we should have taken the risk!" The anger in her voice caused all four of the others in the room to jump. "W-What if we were his last chance to do something good for your world…for himself? What if he was sincere, and wanted to make up for his past wrongdoings? What if he falls back to his previous life of crime because he has nowhere else to turn? What if," her voice fell back to a sob, "what if he is like he said he was, and has what he called a 'hit' on his cranium, and another assassin took his life while he is out there on the unprotected roadside? Because he wasn't here where we could keep him safe? What if…what if…" Her head bowed, and she fell forward onto her hands, a green tear rolling down the side of her face.

Cyborg and Beast Boy's stare fell from the uncharacteristically angry Starfire to the floor. One thought ran through their head. What if they had just condemned their former team mate to death? They had heard it themselves that he used to have no opposition to killing, and the others that would be hunting me would be just as ruthless, if not more so.

Raven had disappeared after Starfire's tirade. Back in her room, behind closed doors, she sat on her bed, hugging a neatly folded white tank top and black knit pants.

"Were we wrong?" she mumbled to herself. "Please let us be wrong."

End Chapter 8