Chapter 12

The war never ended. Screams of pain and shouts of victory echoed across the field, and a lone soldier took aim again, pointing his rifle towards his enemies, and mercilessly pulling the trigger. One after another, his enemies fell, until a figure flashed across his vision just as he pulled the trigger. He realized a moment to late that the soldier wore the same uniform as himself, but there was nothing he could do to stop the round now. The sniper shrugged, and repositioned himself for a better view of the field, and pulled the trigger once again.

"Hey! Watch what you're shooting genius, I'm on your side!" a furious Beast Boy threw his controller on the ground, waiting for the respawn time to count to a conclusion.

"Stay out from in front of me, and I won't shoot you!" Cyborg smirked back.

"But that was a friendly fire kill!" the elf squealed, "We're only up by twenty seven kills on the other team now because of you."

"Twenty eight," Cy' quipped as he hit the trigger on the controller once more.

"Hmph," the elf grunted, turning his attention back to the screen as his character respawned. "Aww, all I've got is the pistol again!"

I stood in the kitchen, having my morning cup…ok, it was my second pot….of coffee. What could I say? I like coffee. Raven strolled into the commotion from her morning meditation, and joined me at the kitchen table.

"I didn't see you at your meditation this morning," she said in her steady voice.

"You weren't up early enough," I smiled. Truth be told, I hadn't slept yet. In the weeks since I had returned to the team, I had been restless in my sleep, and last night was worse than usual. Instead of sleep, I had decided to sit in meditation all night long, but had moved to the common room once Cy and BB had awakened. Nothing else on the planet could have pulled the little changeling from his bed at such an hour, but this Farcry tournament had been set up weeks ago, and there was no way that he was going to miss it. Cy, BB and several others that they played with online had been practicing for this for months, and were a force to be messed with if you were to interrupt them.

I was just glad that it had been so quiet since my return. HIVE's loss of my sister surely would have hit them hard, and I knew that they would be hard pressed to replace her. Still, I was glad for her, I had heard from her continually over email since she had left, and the fight in New York seemed to be going very well for her. She had made friends with a little homeless girl on the streets, and was now taking care of her on top of the crime fighting responsibilities she had taken upon herself. How she was making ends meet was beyond me, but she had mentioned something about the city paying her way since she was helping out the police force.

I knew this city was known for its plague of troubles, though, and I knew that the peace wouldn't last for long. Still, I prayed that the troubles had ended, and that we could lead a peaceful life for some time to come.

Still, the cabin fever was getting to me. All we had done in the three weeks since my return had been to sit here in the tower and stare at each other. I needed to do something, kick someone's butt, break up a robbery, go for a trip, anything.

That was it! A trip, it would be great for us…well, maybe not for us, but at least for me.

I stood, stretched, shivered from the rush of caffeine that flooded my system, and slowly started towards the door. Before I could even think about going on a trip, I needed a new car. I growled at the thought of what had happened to my last vehicle, and drew an unwanted set of eyes towards myself.

"Where are you headed?" Raven said in her flat voice.

I shrugged and grunted gruffly, trying to get out of the building quickly, an old burden collapsing on my shoulders.

I turned to leave, my bare foot connected solidly with a chair sitting out in the middle of the floor. I swore profusely at the inanimate object, and with a final burst of rage, I watched the chair explode into a thousand tiny splinters. I turned back to the elevator door, swore once more, and stomped out of the room.

Once I had made it to the garage, I quickly suited up, pulling my hard suit from its storage rack there, and yanking it on. My wings spread, and I barely had let the door clear before I rocketed out into the open sky.

Today was not going to be a good day.

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The titans sat looking at each other in a complete stupor. Well, all but Raven, that was. She had busied herself in another book, sipping lightly her morning cup of tea.

"What's gotten into him?" Robin muttered, standing in the doorway.

"I heard an explosion! What's going on!"

Robin turned his gaze to where the young Tamaranian was rushing out of the elevator. The red-head stopped cold, staring at the shards and splinters of what used to be a chair.

"Looks like our friend Ryk got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Beast Boy quipped.

"It was more than just that," Raven whispered, just loud enough to catch Robin's attention.

"What's that, Raven?" His eyebrow lifted slightly.

"Nothing," she mumbled, diving back into her book, "I just caught some emotions off of him as he passed."

Raven let out a prolonged sigh, she already knew what the next question was going to be, and decided to go ahead and answer it.

"He radiated many emotions this morning strange to him. Amongst those this morning were anger, fear and sorrow, but more than anything, he felt like he was in mourning for something, or maybe someone.

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The city spread itself before me as I searched out a long forgotten corner. The slums grew larger in my sight, and I stared down the road that I had first arrived upon. It seemed like such a long time ago that I had made my way to this city, but the time had gone by so fast as well. Here I was, no more than six months into my new life with the titans, and I had fought so many, brought even more to justice, been kicked out, found my sister, and now I had finally been brought back into the team. My sister was gone, and I had nothing to stay here in this city for, and what was to say that the team wouldn't throw me out again. Their emotions had been so fickle that day, and they had reacted without a second thought.

The countryside flew by as I made my way away from the city, pushing my thrusters to their limits, and feeling the shudder of pressure as I pressed my way through the sound barrier. The land flew by in a blur, and a tear slipped down my cheek as I watched the countryside fly by. Time slipped away to nothingness, and still I pressed northward. Recognizing the Ohio River, I changed my flight path ever so slightly, and continued on my journey of memories.

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A buzzer sounded on the main computer, and Robin's attention was immediately grasped by it. He hurried over, only to have Raven slowly glide her way over behind him.

"What is it?" she murmured.

"It's Ryk," he responded slowly, "He's left the communicators range."

"Where has Ryk gone?"

Both Robin and Raven jumped, spinning to face the 'suddenly there' Starfire, who was now peering over Robin's other shoulder.

"I don't know," Robin responded after he had regained his composure. "But it sure didn't take him long to get out of range."

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I stood in a small graveyard, a handful of yellow roses gripped tightly in my grip. My hard suit had been left out of sight, well outside the town limits, and I stood in my old black combat gear and red overcoat. The wind kicked up, blowing my coat out behind and off to the side of me, and a single autumn leaf fell upon my shoulder. I reached up with my free hand, and pulled the oval-like leaf off my shoulders, and stared into it as I spun it thoughtfully in my fingers. Another gust took the leaf from my grasp, and I watched it fly away. I turned my attention back to the grave, and knelt before the headstone.

Cera Pryde

1985-2005

Here lies the purest soul,

You will always be remembered

R.I.P.

I let the roses fall in front of the headstone, and watched as the tears rolled off my face, and into the grass below.

"I'm finally moving on, like I promised you I would," I whispered. "I'm with a group of people that are completely opposite of who I used to be. They call themselves the Teen Titans, and I think I have found a way for my own salvation through them. Sure, they can all get on my nerves, and each has their own quirks that I am still trying to figure out, but I couldn't ask for a better family to be around."

I bowed my head, and let my tears fall freely. "You can't understand how much you are missed, I know, but I still wish you were here with me. If only I could see your smile again, even from the few times I was graced with it. I am trying to change, truly, I am. I still fight to control my instinct, but the struggle gets easier with each passing day. I think you would be proud of the ways I have changed, and hopefully, someday, you can forgive me as well."

I stood, and slowly turned my back on the grave. "So you know, there's someone else now, too. I care for her greatly, but I don't know if she sees it or not. I hope you're not mad, or feel like I'm betraying you. You did say to move on, and I think it's finally starting to happen. Two years…and I'm finally able to begin to let go."

I turned sharply, and walked briskly away from the gravesite, the yellow flowers I had left ruffled slightly by the autumn wind.

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It had been three days since I had been over this familiar stretch of water, I thought as I cruised back over the bay towards the tower. A red comet shot from a window, and nearly shattered my impregnable armor with an unearthly hug.

"Ryk!" Starfire exclaimed, "we were so worried that you had left us again!"

I pulled my helmet off, and looked at the alien girl as we hovered face to face. My eyes searched hers, but I refrained from exploring her mind with my own. "We?"

"I…we…me…" she stuttered, "Yes…we."

She suddenly grabbed my arm, dragging me swiftly through the air, and back to the tower.

"Ryk has returned!" she cried as we passed through the open window.

I stood there, and drank in the view. Robin was the first to plow his way into the room, followed by a very out of breath Raven.

'Unusual," I noted.

They both stopped cold, and stared at Star and myself. I realized far to late where their gaze was centered at. Starfire still had my hand firmly clenched in her own, and my face turned a brilliant shade of red.

"Star," I mumbled, pulling gently at her grip.

She realized the situation at the same time I pulled, her face growing as red, if not more so, as my own. We both pulled apart, and slid quickly several feet from each other.

A smile broke my face, and I recovered as fast as anyone could have imagined. "Yeah, and you can thank the two minute early arrival to your girlfriend, here, Rob." I jabbed a thumb towards the red faced Tamaranian. She nearly pulled my arm off on the last little leg of my little trip there.

Robin burned red, but offered me his hand, and welcomed me back. "I hope that your trip was…most productive?" He spoke the last couple words with a question in his voice, and I figured I was going to get the third degree about it later.

I had just finished stowing away my hard suit when a green cat pounced on me from behind. After a brief struggle with the squirming feline, I managed to throw it off, and it landed sorely on a green elf's rear.

"Good to see you back, stranger."

I looked to see Cyborg standing in the doorway. I nodded towards him, and flashed him a thumbs up. I spent the next few minutes trying to "explain" my lack of presence for the last three days without telling them anything. It ended up with me saying that it was a trip I needed to take, and that I would be much better off now that it had been done.

It drew a few quizzical looks, one of which caught my attention more than the others. Raven's eyes stared deep into my own, searching their depths. My mind reached out on its own. "All in good time, my princess…all in good time."

She almost spat one of her cold responses back at me before she realized that I had not spoken aloud. She turned in a huff, and made to storm out of the room. She made it only a few steps before her pace began to slow. She finally stopped in front of the kitchen counter, looked back towards where I stood, caught herself staring, groaned, and opened the cabinet, rummaging through it for her box of tea.

The Titans slowly filtered back out of the room, each to his or her respective place of training for the day, save two dark figures. Raven sat at the counter, nursing her cup of tea, and I had collapsed wearily on the couch, staring off into nothingness. My heart still hung heavily, and I let out a prolonged sigh.

Raven slowly, tentatively, made her way over to the common area where I had crashed, and sat down across from where I lay. "So, where, actually, did you go?"

I sensed a heavy tone in her voice, heavier than usual. I sensed something else, as well. Concern, fear maybe? I couldn't tell she still had to much of a control over her emotions. Her face showed nothing, but I could sense the battle that was occurring under her skin.

"Just an old scar that needed to be tended too." My smile was forced, and both of us knew it..

"I know that we both have more secrets than we'd like to share, but there are so many things that you hide from us, Ryk. Why can't you share them with someone, I know the weight that they put upon you, I can sense those things, remember? It is one thing for me to hide all of my emotions, and it's something that I have to deal with every day, but for someone who has emotions available to him, you repress the heavy memories more than anyone else I know."

I looked over at her, and pulled myself up to a sitting position. "You think I don't know the same about you and the rest of the Titans? You may have a tremendous gift at meditation, but don't forget my gift is knowing what everyone else thinks. I respect the team to much to invade their minds like some third rate bandit. It is up to you all when you will tell me your own secrets, and until then, I shall keep my own."

Raven leaned forward, in a very uncharacteristic style, and spoke something I'd never thought I would hear, especially from her. "Then let me start."

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I once again flowed through Raven's mind, and quickly located her mindscape. She stood in the center of it all, waiting patiently for me to arrive. Her emotions gathered around her, each displaying it's own namesake. The grey one squeaked, and hid behind the true Raven. Green cracked her knuckles, and stormed towards the all to familiar river of light.

"I'll teach you to startle Fear!" she growled, only to be grabbed by the yellow clad copy.

"He didn't hurt us last time, and he won't hurt us this time," Raven droned.

"Can we leave again?" the grey copy whispered.

"No," Raven glared the grey copy into submission, "I promised to teach him about myself, and all of you being here is how I will explain it."

"Hello Raven." my voice echoed from the colorful, floating stream. Even before I had finished speaking, the river of light converged on one spot, and with a flash, my form stood on her mindscape once again.

"I guess I should welcome you back."

I smiled, and turned slowly, taking in the view.

"GACK!" I exclaimed, gasping for air.

"Rae-Rae, you brought the cutie back to see meeeeeee!"

The crushing sensation eased up slightly, and I took the chance to turn back into my light form, moving swiftly away from the pink-Raven's hug-of-death.

"Pink, DOWN!" the green Raven growled.

I smiled, and shrugged it off. "So, you wanted to talk about something you couldn't talk about on the outside world here?"

"I wanted…to share some of my own secrets with you. We've all opened you up like a book, and stared into a past where you didn't want us to, and now I am doing the same for you. I can't say what the rest of the team thinks about how we tore apart your past, but this is…my retribution for what I did."

I nodded, and followed her motioning hand. "These," she said, pointing at the various 'Ravens' around her, "are my emotions. Well, most of them. My emotions are a dangerous thing for me to take a part in, and this is how I separate myself from them."

I nodded, not understanding the how, but still not the why.

"I was born with a curse. My father, the demon Trigon, is locked away in my very soul. If I give in to my emotions, mainly Rage, he will escape back into our world."

I gasped, suddenly realizing the true reason why she was so cold. It wasn't because she truly disliked us, it wasn't even that it was just her nature, but it was to protect us, to protect everyone, from an immense power inside of her that we didn't…no couldn't understand.

"Follow me," she motioned.

I walked slowly behind her floating form, as she led me towards a rocky crevice at the edge of her mindscape. Her hands floating up gracefully, she uttered her famous spell. "Azarath…Metrion…ZINTHOS!"

A chain that fell deep into the darkness slowly lifted into the air, dragging a massive cage up from the depths of the pit. Four red eyes glared at us from the back of the cage.

"Ssssssoo you have come to me onccccce more, have you, girrl?"

"Contain yourself, Rage," Raven growled. "we have a guest today."

"A guesssssst? How deliiiightful. Bring him closssssse to yourself, sssssssso that I may conssssssume him asss well."

"I apologize for Rage's behavior," Raven whispered to me, "But this is the essence of my father, the one that I must protect all of you from."

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"SSssstep closer to the edge, boy, I want to ssssseee who this child is that my daughter has become sssssso attached toooo."

"Don't do it," Raven was hanging off my arm, begging me, "If you give him a face, he could turn his attention to you next time he gets loose."

I looked grimly at Raven, but pulled my arm from her. "I will step towards you, only if you step towards me. I wish to see this thing that haunts my friend so much that she must tie her emotions back away from the rest of the world."

The red eyes glared at me, and a hiss escaped its lips. "VVvvverry well child, sssstep forward, and sssssee your doooom."

"Ryk…no," came Raven's plea from my side.

I turned my head towards her, a gentle look in my eyes. "I want to be able to share your pain with you, Raven. I am willing to do this, so that, if the time comes, maybe, just maybe I can find a way to protect you from him."

The blue clad girl bit her lip, and stepped away from where I stood, not wanting to look upon her mothers murderer if she could avoid it.

"Show yourself, Rage." I growled at the cage, and watched as a Red-clad copy of Raven, only with four red eyes stomped its way to the front of the cage.

"Look upon the veeery faaccccce of fear, young one."

"That's not who I want to see," I growled, trying to provoke the angry emotion. "Show me who you really are."

"Veeery well, you sssshhhalll ssssssee who you are to deal wittthhh."

The emotion changed forms completely, and Trigon stood before me, trapped inside the immense cage right here in Raven's mind."

"Aaand not itsssss yooouuurr turn, sssshooww yourself sssssoo that I may know who firsssst to kill."

Without a hesitation, I stepped forward, my silver blades appearing in my hands. "You want to know who I am?" I snarled, "It has already been prophesied, you WILL die at my hands, Trigon."

Raven stared on from behind me, her mouth open in shock.

The red-eyed beast stared at me, his eyes narrowing.

FLASH

A vision of a young man's back burned in Trigon's mind, a flowing red trench coat, standing atop a skyscraper, the cityscape burning in the background.

FLASH

Trigon lay bleeding and mangled on the ground, his form twitched and growled from the ground. A trio of explosive discs, a flash of blue followed by a stream of blue-white energy, a long burst of green orbs, and a black-encased school bus flew at the ravaged body.

FLASH

The red-coated figure standing on the rooftop turned, extending his arm, and as if by magic, a silver blade appeared in his hand, a silver light glowed fiercely from where his eyes should have been.

FLASH

BANG-RATTLE-rattle

Trigon had slammed into the far wall, its eyes wide with fear. "Get away from meee, youuu frrrreaak of natttture."

Raven stood, staring at my intimidating figure as she heard Rage banging around in its cage. She could not hear a word that was being said, and for that, she was grateful. She was honestly scared for her friend as he stood toe to toe with her inner demon.

"Enjoy your life in this hell-hole that Raven has graced you with, and just remember, when you get out, your hide is mine."

"No one can ssssstand against the horrible power of Trigon!" the demon hissed.

"Try all you want, hellspawn, but your destiny is already written out, and when the time comes, I will be waiting for you."

The red eyed demon glared at me from the far side of its cage. I stretched my hand forth, and a hundred tendrils of rainbow light shot from my hand, wrapping around the chain. With my own power, I sent the bound Rage back to his seclusion, deep within Raven's mind. Turning on my heel, I strolled back down to where Raven stood.

"She must have been furious, I could hear Rage banging around in her cage from here."

I smiled gently at the girl. "Me and your dark side had a little man to…demon talk."

Letting my arm wrap its way around the girl's shoulders, we made our way back to the center of her mindscape, stopping just out of earshot from the rest of her emotions. With a deep breath, Raven put back on her stoic face, I pulled my arm off her shoulder, knowing she had to place herself back in the right frame of mind.

"Thank you." I whispered.

She looked up at me, her eyes cold once more. "For what?"

"For trusting me."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

I smiled to myself. There was that same Raven that we were all used to. "See you on the flip-side!" I called out cheerily, and pulled my connection to her mind.

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I sat in my pose for a moment longer after I had gathered my conscience back into my own head. 'Sure do hope that little ruse I pushed into Trigon's head will help her out for a bit."

End Chapter 12