Team Five
"Seriously," Oishi said. "The only time I ever play singles is when we're doing ranking matches on my team and it is definitely not one of my strong points."
"Well, we're kind of screwed right now." Said Sengoku. "Because there's no way Shishido's gonna be better for the matches so we have to put him in doubles so someone else can compensate for him. And Itsuki called it first."
"I did." Said Itsuki. "I DID call it first."
"Well that's just silly." Said Oishi. "Because there is no way we'll be able to win a doubles match as two against one. It just doesn't work."
"We don't want to have to automatically forfeit a match, though." Said Kamio. "And that's what'll happen unless we take our chances that hopefully we'll play against a doubles team that is just as pathetic and losery as ours."
"But it would be better to do this." Said Oishi, laying out the game plan. "Itsuki and I play doubles. Kamio and Sengoku, you two play Singles 2 and Singles 3."
"Wait." Said Sengoku. "That leaves SHISHIDO with Singles 1."
"Not only is Shishido a doubles player," Kamio started. "But he's sick AND he's definitely not good enough to play Singles 1."
"No, listen." Oishi said. "All we have to do is make sure we win all our matches and it'll work out."
Sengoku raised a finger to argue, and then stopped.
"That…makes sense…" he admitted. "If we all win our own matches then Shishido won't even have to play!"
"Right," said Oishi. "Because we'll have won three out of four so there would be no need to go to the last match."
"BRILLIANT!" everyone shouted.
"All right!" said Itsuki. "Where did you think up such a great plan?"
"Right here." Said Oishi, looking a little confused.
"Oh." said Itsuki.
"All right, now that THAT'S out of the way, let's figure out what our Team Name is going to be." Sengoku said.
"Well, I've been thinking about it, guys." Said Kamio. "And I've narrowed it down to my top four choices. The first one is 'Tachibana is the Coolest'."
The others stared at him.
"Ehh…no, what are the other choices?" Itsuki requested.
"Okay, the second one is 'Fudomine Will Win Nationals'." Kamio went on.
"No good." Said Sengoku. "We don't want to lie to people. What else do you have?"
"Uh…" Kamio thought for a moment. "Oh yeah. 'Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine'."
"Do you have anything that doesn't involve Tachibana or Fudomine in the title?" Oishi asked, trying to sound pleasant.
"Yeah, the last choice." Kamio said with a nod.
They all waited.
"Well?" Sengoku led.
"I'm thinking… 'The Rhythm'." Kamio said. "Cause that way, when I'm playing tennis, I can say 'I'm in the rhythm' and it'll have two meanings. Cause I'll actually be in the rhythm AND I'm physically on the team called The Rhythm."
"Well…" Oishi said slowly. "Up next to 'Tachibana is the Coolest' and 'Fudomine Will Win Nationals' and 'Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine'…"
"I guess that's it." Sengoku said. "The Rhythm. That's our Team Name."
"I kind of thought you guys would like that one." Kamio said. Legit.
"Does it have to be that?" Itsuki asked. "Can't we brainstorm for a little while longer?"
"No." said Kamio. "We've decided! That's our Team Name! And if you don't like it then we'll just have to be Tachibana is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fudomine!"
"I'm liking The Rhythm more and more with every passing moment." Sengoku commented.
Team Six"I REFUSE to play Doubles with my brother." Said Ryou, crossing his arms childishly as everyone sat in the chairs that used to surround the kitchen table, but the table had since been destroyed thus is was no more.
But don't worry, Ryou wasn't the ONLY one being incredibly petty. Atsushi was right along with him while they scoffed like silly people.
"Well, you're just going to have to deal with it." Said Oshitari. "There's no other way to do it."
"Can't YOU play doubles with him?" demanded the two of them as they pointed at each other.
"Yes, technically I could." Oshitari nodded. "But let's think. The two of you only play doubles. Kaidou and myself COULD play doubles, but we also play singles. Akutsu doesn't really play tennis at all, but he's willing to play singles as well."
"But that's it." Said Akutsu.
"So there." Said Oshitari. "The only people who don't play singles are the two of you. Therefore, you will be together in the doubles match."
"BUT WE DON'T WANT TO!" they both complained.
"You'll play doubles AND LIKE IT!" Oshitari said, randomly losing his temper as he stood up and slapped them both around for a little while.
When he was finished, he took a deep breath, calmly sat down and adjusted his glasses.
Then he noticed that both Kaidou and Akutsu looked like they were ABOUT to get up and do what he had just did, but slowly they lowered into their seats as well, not taking their eyes off him.
"Sorry." Said Oshitari to Atsushi and Ryou who were both sniffling and caressing their wounds. "I…don't know what came over me."
There was silence in the house.
"So…" Oshitari tried to keep the conversation going, but everyone as a collective scooted away from him. "Now that we've established the doubles players, does anyone have a preference of which Singles match they want to play?"
"Not really." Said Kaidou and Akutsu.
"Very well." Said Oshitari with a frown. "Kaidou, you play Singles 1. Akutsu, Singles 2. And I'll play Singles 3."
"Why are you assigning yourself the worst place?" Kaidou inquired.
"Because I don't feel like going all out." Oshitari answered. "And it's likely that everyone in Singles 1 from the other teams will be very good, and it is even more likely that the people from Singles 3 from the other teams will be bad."
"Okay, fair enough." Kaidou nodded.
More silence.
"Team Name?" Akutsu said finally, looking at Kaidou.
"Kaidou's Korner?" Ryou said sarcastically.
"Shut up!" Kaidou ordered with an angry hiss. "You're just jealous!"
"Well, you have to think of a name for our team because you're the Dad." Said Atsushi. "So hurry up and think of something!"
"And make sure it's good." Said Akutsu. "Everyone else is going to come to know us by this name."
"And it will be annoying if they announce it and it sounds stupid." Oshitari added.
"Way to put pressure on me!" said Kaidou. "I can't think of anything! You guys have to help!"
"Why do WE have to help?" said Ryou.
"Because!" said Kaidou. "You guys are the ones who are so obsessed with it being good."
"Just think of something you know and other people can relate to." Said Oshitari.
"But make sure it's not dumb." Akutsu leaned in.
Kaidou crossed his arms. "Fine." He said. "We'll just be the Snakes."
"The Snakes?" yelled Atsushi. "That's dumb! We said NOT dumb!"
"WE'LL TOO BAD!" said Kaidou. "WE'LL BE THE SNAKES AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!" With that, he grabbed Atsushi AND Ryou and slapped them around a bit.
"Hey!" said Ryou. "I didn't do anything this time!"
"Sorry." Said Kaidou. "You were both standing next to each other. I couldn't help it."
Team Seven"Okay, he's coming back." Sanada said, looking out the window as Jirou came running up the front walk in the same pink raincoat. Renji opened the door and Jirou flailed his way inside with another letter in his hand.
"Why did I agree to do that again?" demanded Jirou as he struggled to take the jacket off.
Inui grabbed the jacket and easily took it off him, then dropped it on the floor. "Because Tetsu is setting up your disco ball."
"Oh yeah!" said Jirou excitedly.
Everyone went into the Disco Ball Room where Tetsu was just standing in the middle of the floor with the second disco ball.
"I don't know how to do this." Tetsu confessed.
"Whatever." Said Inui as he opened up the letter and read it aloud.
Everyone had their various reactions that included, but are not limited to, "OMGTENNIS!" and "NO EFFIN WAY!" and "WTF?" and "TENNISROXMAHSOX!"
Seriously. They said that. THEM.
"All right." Said Renji, sitting down on the couch. "We shall sort out who will play in which matches in a calm, cool and collected fashion."
"Why would we discuss it any way else?" Sanada sat down as well.
They all sat down.
"Don't sit down, Jirou." Said Inui.
"Why?" said Jirou.
"You're all wet." Inui answered. "Get a towel and then sit down."
"Aww…" said Jirou as he retreated into the bathroom.
"Well, I only really play doubles." Said Tetsu to Inui. "So if I could just be in a doubles match then I'd be ALL SET."
He looked at each of the faces of his compadres.
"What?" he said.
Inui adjusted his glasses. "Renji and I will be playing the doubles match."
"What?" demanded Tetsu. "Why?"
"Perhaps you didn't know but Renji and I are childhood friends that used to play doubles together all the time." Inui answered.
"And we have collected a ridiculous amount of data on each other." Renji added. "So there are no two people in the world who would be more suited to understand his partner's style of tennis."
They slapped each other five.
"So where does that leave me?" Tetsu whined.
"Singles 3." Said Inui, opening his data book.
"I don't play singles…" Tetsu said.
"Well, you must make an exception." Renji said. "Because the most compatible pair for doubles is Inui and I."
"Yes, we've established that." Sanada said. "Does it matter whether I play Singles 1 or 2?"
"It does." Inui said. "You will play Singles 1 and Jirou will play Singles 2."
"What's your reasoning for that one?" Jirou asked as he entered the room with a towel.
"Just trust me." Said Inui.
"And what of a Team Name?" Sanada asked.
"Need you even to ask?" Inui said.
Sanada, Tetsu and Jirou all looked at each other. Renji just sat there with this face that said, "Oh yeah. I know what it is." And Inui just sat there with this face that just said, "ii data."
"Ohhh…" said Sanada, Tetsu and Jirou.
Team Eight"Team Eight!" called Yuuta as he ran through the house. "Team Eight AKA The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team! Everyone!"
He stopped and looked around, and found that he was in the living room and everyone, including Atobe, was watching television instead of paying attention to him.
"Hello?" he said, looking sad that everyone was ignoring him.
"Oh." said everyone, turning vaguely to look at him. "Hi."
"Hi." Said Yuuta as he marched over and turned the television off.
The response was sort of just a collective moan.
"I just want you all to know that I have thought of a Team Name for us." Yuuta reported.
"Let me guess." Said Bane. "The Team That Is Better Than Fuji's Team?"
"No." said Yuuta. "That's wrong. That doesn't make sense because I'M Fuji as well."
"Oh yeah." Said Bane.
"Our Team Name is…" Yuuta paused for dramatic effect. "The Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team!"
"Ahaaaa…" said everyone.
"And how is that different from what I just said?" Bane asked.
"BECAUSE." Said Yuuta. "It wouldn't make sense if our team was called The Team That Is Better Than Fuji's Team because I'M Fuji too so we can't be better than OURSELVES."
"You know," said Shinji. "No offense or anything, but I don't think anyone would think that we were referring to YOU."
Yuuta's mouth dropped to the floor.
"Sorry." Said Shinji. "That was supposed to be in my head."
"I agree." Atobe said. "When I think of Fuji, I think only of your older brother and certainly not of you."
"I'm the same." Said Jackal. "I never even considered the fact that you guys were even brothers because he is on a COMPLETELY different level than—"
"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT." Said Yuuta. "You've all made your point! Jeez! But, despite all that, we're STILL going to be the Team That Is Better Than Shuusuke's Team."
"Why don't we make that an acronym?" suggested Bane. He paused and considered it. "TTTIBTST."
"That sounds like that noise you make when you put your tongue here and just go nuts with it." Said Shinji as he blew a raspberry.
Then everyone slowly turned around and looked at him.
"Whoa." Said Yuuta. "That sounded SO wrong."
"I know." Said Shinji. "If I had thought about that in my head before I said it then I wouldn't have said it."
"Kind of like that hurtful comment you made to me?" Yuuta whimpered.
"Yeah." Said Shinji. "But I probably would have ended up saying it anyway."
Atobe then stood up.
"I don't think we need to talk about the lineup." He announced. "Considering we have already discussed it earlier in the week. I will be playing Singles 1, and you all are doing whatever it is you do."
"Singles 2." Yuuta sighed.
"Singles 3." Shinji said.
"Doubles." Said Bane and Jackal at the same time.
Then they sat (or in Atobe's case, stood) in silence for a little while.
"Okay, we can turn the television back on again." Said Yuuta as he pressed the button and then jumped into an empty spot. They spent time watching the Ridiculous Chicken until it was time to go to the tennis match. Which was… OMFG! Right now!