"The first match is the doubles match, just like in the previous round." Banji announced. "This match is between Atsushi and Ryou from The Snakes and David and Kabaji from Pillars. "Remember our made up rules concerning serving."
"Why can't we just do NORMAL serving?" asked Atsushi.
"Because this is the way we decided to do it and YOU'LL LIKE IT!" Banji yelled.
The twins both dodged out of the way as if Banji had made a dive for them, but that had been the third time they heard someone say that, and the previous two times the statement had been followed up with a beating. So they decided to be safe, even though they just ended up looking foolish because obviously Banji wasn't going to beat on them.
"Do you think we'll win?" David asked his three captains who all thought they were entitled to sitting on the captain's bench.
"Yes." Said Tezuka.
"Probably." Tachibana added.
"Probably NOT." Said Aoi.
"What makes you say that?" asked Tachibana.
"Well, think about it." Aoi said. "David and Kabaji have NEVER played tennis together and now we're just throwing them out there to play against Ryou and his twin brother, which means they've played tennis together tons of times and know how to play with each other."
David frowned at his captain. "You know, a pessimist's blood type is ALWAYS B-negative." He said.
Aoi stared at David.
Everyone on his team stared at David. Even Kabaji,
Just when they were going to harm him for being annoying, Bane came out of nowhere and did the job for them.
"I've missed doing that." Bane said as he stomped off.
"Great, now I definitely feel motivated to play well…" David sniffled as he put an ice cube on his new fat lip.
"Just shut up and play tennis!" Tachibana ordered as he booted David onto the courts. Even though he usually strives to befriend and inspire those younger than him, David was just too annoying for him to even bother anymore.
"Do you really think that those two will lose?" Tezuka asked Aoi.
Aoi shrugged. "Atsushi used to be on our team too." Aoi said. "But I was never there when he was. But I ASSUME they play well together. Since they're twins and all."
"Oh." said Tezuka.
"Let's get this over with." Said Ryou with a glare at Atsushi.
"My thoughts exactly!" Atsushi said JUST as angrily.
"I'LL play in the front." They both said at the same time.
Then they glared.
"Fine, I'll play in the back then." They both said again.
With that, they both became frustrated and started snarling at each other.
David and Kabaji were only staring at them like fool children as Banji tried to get their attention.
"Pillars?" said Banji to David and Kabaji. "Who will serve first?"
David and Kabaji looked at each other.
"Um…" David shrugged. "I don't know. Do you have a special serve or anything?"
Kabaji paused and looked over at the feuding brothers.
"Not yet." He said.
"Okay so I guess I'll serve." Said David.
Banji tossed him the ball.
And David served like a normal person.
"I feel so rusty!" said Ryou as he went up and returned the ball.
"Me too!" David agreed as he did the same thing.
They played back and forth for a little while, and as it turned out, neither team was that fantastic. David and Kabaji continuously crashed into each other, and it almost seemed as though Ryou and Atsushi were TRYING to crash into each other.
AND to add to it all, none of them were using any intensely special moves, so Kabaji was just kind of like, "DURP" all over the court and couldn't really do anything useful.
The match went on essentially uneventfully and everyone was getting annoyed, especially since the tiebreaker seemed to go on forever.
But, in the end, the David and Kabaji duo triumphed over the Ryou and Atsushi duo. But ONLY because the Ryou and Atsushi duo were pretty much sick of being on the same PLANET as each other, let alone the same COURT.
"Hurray!" cheered David. "Two more wins and we move on to play against SHATS!"
His captains frowned at him.
"What?" said David. "That wasn't a pun."
"It wasn't?" said Tezuka.
"No." said David. "THIS is a pun! So if you—"
"NO." said everyone as they slapped him.
"Aww…" said David sadly as he rubbed his face.
Atsushi and Ryou dejectedly made their way back to THEIR team's bench, where their team was just sitting there staring at them.
"…WHAT…" began Kaidou, slowly standing up. He paused and glared at them eye to eye, face to face. Then he took a deep breath. "…was that?"
"Well—" they both began as they pointed at each other and started talking at the same time like arguing chipmunks.
"THE NEXT MATCH!" Banji yelled from his referee chair since no one was paying attention to him. When he screamed that, however, everyone DID turn around. "The Singles 3 match is about to begin! This one is between Oshitari from The Snakes and Aoi from Pillars! Please come to the court."
"What a disappointment." Oshitari said, picking up his racket and standing. "I was hoping I would play against someone who wouldn't be a challenge."
"Why did I agree to Singles 3?" Aoi wondered. "I'm not under enough pressure in that position…"
They took the court and waited.
Then the game begun after the pointless waiting.
Aoi clearly threw the first game because he obviously wanted to be UNDA PRESHA! But he forgot to put on his Arrid this morning so he smelled pretty bad when he came over to the bench whence it was time to switch courts.
"Whoa." Said his entire team as they leaned back in attempt to escape his smelly wrath.
"What?" said Aoi because you really never can smell your own BO.
"Here, have some Old Spice." Said Tezuka as he handed Aoi some deodorant.
Aoi took it and stared at it. "Old Spice?" he demanded. "What makes you think Old Spice will work as effectively as my Arrid? I might as well not wear anything at all!"
Aoi then threw the deodorant as far as it would go and made his way back to the court where Oshitari was already waiting.
Tezuka watched his deodorant sail away.
"Kabaji, get my deodorant." Tezuka sighed.
"Yes." Said Kabaji as he marched off.
It was Oshitari's turn to serve and he decided to just continue to own Aoi as long as he would allow it. So he continued to own Aoi because Aoi continued to allow it.
And he was quite surprised when Aoi had successfully thrown ANOTHER game.
"GAME SET AND MATCH!" Banji yelled.
"WHAT?" Aoi demanded, standing up straight. "What about the rest of the games?"
"We're playing three game matches." Banji reminded him.
Aoi's jaw dropped to the floor. "I FORGOT!" he wailed.
Oshitari strolled back over to his team's bench.
"I WOULD say good job, but it's not like you did anything." Said Kaidou.
"Whatever." Said Oshitari. "It's still a win."
"Yes it is." Agreed the others.
"As long as you two both win your matches, we move on to the next round." Said Ryou to Akutsu and Kaidou.
"Are you suggesting that we might not win our matches?" demanded Akutsu.
"I never said that!" whined Ryou as he inched away.
"Singles 2!" called Banji. "Could I have Akutsu from The Snakes against Tachibana from Pillars on the court please?"
"GO TACHIBANA!" cheered everyone who is on Fudomine as they held up their signs that supported Tachibana and waved their flags and foam fingers with his face on them.
"Thank you for your support…" Tachibana said dramatically as he reached out for his team.
They all fainted from overexcitement.
Akutsu looked around. "…Why isn't anybody cheering for me…?" he said under his breath, and it was a good thing too because if he had said it out loud then everyone would have yelled at him and told him that it was because they hated him. And, under normal circumstances he wouldn't care that no one was cheering for him, but to see the contrast between Tachibana's fans and his lack of fans made him sort of notice the void.
ANYWAY.
I don't think it takes a genius to know that Akutsu was completely schooled, owned and taken advantage of by Tachibana who didn't even break a sweat. He didn't even have to go into SUPER TACHIBANA mode, in which he essentially becomes a Super Saiyan, complete with his hair turning blond and everything! (That might not have actually happened and I could have totally misread that entire part of the series, but I'm pretty sure that occurred.)
And of course Akutsu had his temper tantrum and decided that he was very stressed out and had to have a smoke.
But he didn't go outside or anything. He just sat there on the bench while Fudomine showered Tachibana with kisses and hugs and presents.
His team was all standing or sitting around him as he smoked. No one wanted to say anything because he's mean, but no one wanted to die of second hand smoke either.
"SOMEONE say something." Said Kaidou.
"Akutsu…" Oshitari said finally.
"You look like a big old dragon, puffing all that smoke." Ryou added.
"You make me cough." Atsushi said.
Akutsu stared at them.
"Way to be subtle, guys." Said Kaidou, slapping his forehead as Akutsu went all medieval on them.
Just as Kaidou was going to do something to help, he realized that it was his turn to play tennis and it would be foolish to miss that opportunity.
"If The Snakes win this match," Banji announced. "Then we will go into a tie breaker. If Pillars win, then they will move onto the next round!"
Kaidou advanced to the courts.
"Kaidou from The Snakes versus…" Banji started.
Kaidou looked up to see who his opponent was since he hadn't really been paying attention to the matches.
"Tezuka from Pillars." Banji finished in a very scary and mysterious voice.
Kaidou looked over at the bench to see Tezuka, moving in slow motion of course, rise to his feet with his racket over his shoulder. As he advanced to the court as well, he seemed to make a "DOM DOM DOM DOM" sound with every intimidating step.
"Let's have a good match, Kaidou." Tezuka reached out his hand for Kaidou to shake.
Kaidou hadn't realized Tezuka had already gotten that close to him, so he was kind of taken off guard.
"I know when I'm beaten." Kaidou said, turning around.
And with that, he left the court, leaving Tezuka standing there by himself.
"Is that a forfeit?" Banji called.
Kaidou didn't answer, he just sat down.
"All right, I guess it is." Said Banji with a shrug. "Game set and match! Tezuka is the winner! The Pillars move onto the next round to play against SHATS."
"It's just Pillars." Tezuka corrected as his team ran over to congratulate him.
As they had their victory, the screen panned over to Scary Creepy Fuji who was just standing off by himself somewhere with his arms crossed and an ominous wind blowing even though they were inside.
"As expected from our captain." Fuji was thinking. JUST BECAUSE HE COULD.