Author's Note-Wow, who remembers when I used to update like twice a day…for like the first 6 chapters, than it just sort of died. But I must thank my reviewers, who I will name at the end of this horribly written collection of drabbles. (Kami knows when…)
Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, if I did, Naruto would own the world, not just Konoha…gets slapped by Kishimoto Ow
Note- Yay! Special chapter time…I hope you people all know that not every five chapter is going to be a jounin event, but it's easier to write about them sometimes…(Oh, one last thing, its no longer Christmas OR snowing that much in California anymore….so its now close to Spring in Konoha….))
House Special 15
Gai fidgeted.
Lee fidgeted.
Gai fidgeted again.
Lee fidgeted again.
Gai tapped his fingers on the wooden counter of the Ramen Bar.
Lee tapped his fingers on the wooden counter of the Ramen Bar.
Gai suddenly stood up and screamed out, "YOSH! Why is not my cool and hip arch-rival Kakashi here! His lateness is dampening his cool and hipness!"
Lee suddenly stood up and screamed out, "YOSH! Why is not my cool and hip arch-rival Kakashi here! His lateness is dampening his cool and hipness!"
Gai suddenly did a roundhouse kick and sent Lee flying all the way out of the Ramen Bar across the street, hitting the wooden fence on the other side, causing a large amount of smoke to smolder out from the endpoint from Gai's foot to Lee's face to the ground to the fence.
"YOSH!" Lee! Do not do what do! I know I am your hero! But refrain from doing so! It is extremely bothersome!" Gai roared out.
Lee immediately sat up completely brand new and uninjured, "I'm sorry Gai-sensei! Forgive me!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
Suddenly Gai and Lee clashed together in a lump of green as a large tidal wave crashed behind them.
Shikamaru yawned and snorted, "How troublesome…"
Asuma nodded vigorously, "Of course! How could they not be! You're right, and that's because you're a chunnin!"
Kurunai sighed as Asuma went off in a long rant about how Shikamaru was so amazing and Kami-like because he was already a chunnin and was also a genius with an IQ over 200. Kurunai yanwed and suddenly felt very sleepy for reason, maybe it was because she stayed up for a whole night yesterday with Anko doing something…she couldn't remember…but what she did remember was that she was never drinking sake again.
Hinata, who sat next to Kurunai smiled weakly at Asuma who was still going on his rant of Shikamaru's genius talents.
Suddenly Kakashi and Sasuke entered the Ramen Bar, with Kakashi's face stuck inside his book.
"Sorry I'm late guys…I was…," began Kakashi. He stopped and looked up to find that Gai and Lee were hugging each other with manly passion, while Asuma had Shikamaru on a marble pedestal under a large spotlight, talking about how amazing Shikamaru was, and Kurunei was half asleep with drool coming out from her bottom right lip, and Hinata was attempting to wipe it off with a handkerchief with the Hyugga insigna on it.
Kakashi sweat dropped, in turn which Sasuke smirked at his peer's teacher's sadness.
Kakashi ahemed, in which Gai was the first to notice.
"KAKASHI! You are finally here! How dare you be late!"
"Er…well…you see….um…,"stuttered Kakashi for a moment.
Asuma suddenly stopped praising Shikamaru, who was now asleep, and gave Kakashi a stern eye, "So what's today's excuse?"
Kakashi smiled under his mask and chuckled, "Well, you see, I forgot what my excuse was, so I took the time to think of one…which is why I'm late!"
Everybody inside the bar sweat dropped, except for Shikamaru and Kurunei, who were both asleep.
Sasuke shook off his sweat drop and muttered, "Not really, he was masturbating off to that dirty book of his…"
Gai stared at Kakashi, his mouth wide open. Lee followed suit.
Kurunei suddenly woke up with a snort because Hinata by mistakenly jabbed her in the nose while attempting to clean up the drool off of her.
Kurunei muttered groggily after seeing everybody besides Shikamaru staring at Kakashi, "What's the matter? What'd I miss?"
Asuma stuttered out, "Kakashi…was…jacking off….to…..," Asuma couldn't finish his sentence.
Kurunei waited expectantly for a moment, than led up to her own conclusions, "WHAT! KAKASHI WAS MASTUBATING OFF TO ME!"
Everybody face faulted, that certainly killed the mood.
Kakashi grumbled and smacked Sasuke upside the back of his head, "Heh, my student was just joking, he meant to say that he caught me having sex with five beautiful women."
Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, but Kakashi grabbed Sasuke's ear tightly and whispered angrily to him, "If you say one more thing, you won't be able to rebuild Uchiha Clan after I'm through with you."
Sasuke's face turned white and his lips snapped shut.
Everybody sighed.
"Wow," exclaimed Gai, "I thought your student was serious for a moment! I mean, if my arch-rival did that sort of stuff, than he wouldn't even be worthy of the title of my arch-rival!"
Kakashi shrugged. He plopped down into a red bar stool of the Ramen Bar and continued to read his dirty novel.
Gai cleared his throat and started speaking out loudly, "All right! As I'm sure you are all very curious on why I have told you all to come here with your best student!"
Gai was cut off, as Asuma has interrupted him by saying, "Well, not really, because it's pretty obvious you want to compare our students to your students and see who's student is truly the best…"
Gai pinged his gleaming smile with glee, "You are correct my clever comrade! And now…"
The three jounins waited with anxiety to see what Gai was about to say.
"LEE'S THE BEST!"
Everybody facefaulted.
"NO HE'S NOT!" screamed all of the jounins at Gai, except for Kakashi, who was giggling over his pornographic literature.
Suddenly all the jounins got into a verbal assault over who's prize student was better.
"MY PRECIOUS LEE-KUN HAS OPENED UP TO FIVE OF THE INNER GATES!"
"MY GENIUS SHIKAMARU-KUN IS A CHUNNIN!"
"HINATA HAS A BLOODLINE! WHICH IS JUST AWESOME!"
Kakashi coughed, in where all the three jounins looked at him, in where he pointed at Sasuke, who was still frozen, his face white in fear.
"WELL"
A few hours later…
All the while, the jounins were still bickering over who's student was the best, the rest of their students, who were on top of the Ramen Bar the whole time, eavesdropping upon their argument, were all feeling quite depressed and emo.
"I can't believe Asuma-sensei picked Shikamaru over us as his best students! He's just a lazy bum! I should've been his best student!" said an angry Ino to an eating Chouji, who didn't care, and was quite happy that Shikamaru was picked.
Sakura was in her own dreamland, in where Sasuke was thanking her to let Kakashi pick him as his best student, and than presenting her with a date than a kiss.
Naruto was sitting in a corner, quiet crestfallen, because despite all of his hard work and input, he wasn't chosen.
Neji was just sticking needles into a Lee doll with Tenten.
Shino and Kiba didn't say anything, as they both liked Hinata's nature and thought it was time for Hinata to shine for a moment.
"LEE! SHOW TO YOUR SUPERIORS YOUR SEXY AND TONED BODY!" screamed out Gai.
"SHIKAMARU! USE YOUR SMARTS AND SEND BOTH OF THEM BACK TO THEIR PLANETS!" roared out Asuma to a still sleeping Shikamaru.
"HINATA! USE YOUR BYUUGAKUN AND LAUGH AT THEIR SMALL MALE GENETALIAS!" spited Kurunei to a blushing Hinata who was shaking her head.
"HEE HEE HEE!" cackled Kakashi as he used various and multi-colored sharpies and was coloring a still shocked Sasuke.
Suddenly a large shadowed loomed above over all of them.
"NARUTO'S THE BEST! AND NONE OF YOU WILL GIVE ANY LIP BECAUSE I'M A SENNIN!" boomed out the most famous and lecherous pervert across the nation, JIRAYA!
All the jounins shut up.
"THAT'S RIGHT! NARUTO'S THE BOMB! SO ALL YOU BITCHES GO LICK HIS SANDALS RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES!" smirked Jiraya.
Jiraya gave Kurunei a look, "Except you, because you're hot, so you can lick my sandals."
Kurunei slapped Jiraya and dragged Hinata off.
Everybody stared at Jiraya's now red face.
"All of you! Lick my sandals!" screamed out a peeved Jiraya.
Luckily for Kakashi, he has already slipped off into the distance. And also so did Shikamaru. So all that there was left was…
A few minute later…
Gai, Lee, Asuma, and Sasuke were all licking Jirarya's sandals. Jiraya grinned and chuckled, for it was NOT Jiraya, and it was Naruto in a henge, taking his revenge upon the jounins for not praising him as the next Hokage.
End
Yeah Yeah, I know, shitty ending…I'm tired and all, and I had a better idea for the ending, but it would be like five times longer….so I decided to do this…XD don't flame me! And review! RAWR!