Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The books, movies, and all memorabilia belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. No infringement intended.

Au/N: It seems I have told you all a lie! I promised to give you all shout outs in the last chapter, and I never did! Please forgive me. To make amends, I shall do it now! Thanks to: waddlethepenguin, lds-sunshinegrl, luvHaru7, DracosPunkBabe, breezie, SelfHatred, dee023, mackenzie, Landi McClellan, kakashisninjadogs, Lucifer Mae, urlastremedy, derecho87, and kiwiskigirl! I apologize for my little screw-up; hopefully, it won't happen again!

WARNING: There will be EXTREMELY adult themes in this chapter. However, this chapter is NOT key in the reading of this story, so if you skip it, you will not really miss anything…it's just a little something to spice it up.

Chapter Four. Broken

Wake up to a sunny day

Not a cloud up in the sky

And then it starts to rain…

I still remember that day.

It was beautiful, sunny outside, and not a cloud in sight. You could see for miles, even in the usually smoggy atmosphere of England, where I'd lived with my parents.

It was summertime, and I'd just graduated from Hogwarts. I felt a prideful sense of accomplishment, since I'd graduated with high honors, was the valedictorian, and my parents never stopped bragging about me to their clients. As soon as a patient would sit down in the chair to have their teeth cleaned, my mother would talk non-stop about her "brilliant, wonderful little girl" who'd grown up to be "a lady that any mother would be proud to call her own."

Harry and Ron were also happy for me, but they were still concerned with the war, which I couldn't blame them for. It got consistently worse until I told my parents to take friends with them on their way to work, in case anyone might attack them.

But then…just when Harry, Ron and I were celebrating (we'd just found another Horcrux) I came home to my parents' house to find them sprawled out on the living room floor. My mother held my baby brother in her arms, and she protected him even in death. Her auspices had failed, however; my brother had died along with her. There was no blood in sight, but their faces displayed anguish and pain. I fell to my knees, my arms crossed over my stomach, rocking back and forth. I remember screaming, tearing at my hair, crying…and I remember McGonagall rushing in, along with Harry, Ron, Lupin, Tonks and Moody, to wrench me away from the scene.

My defenses hit the ground

And they shatter all around

So open and exposed…

Oh, I fought back. I kicked at them, bit them, screamed at the top of my lungs; it took almost all of them to haul me outside, away from the gruesome scene. As soon as I was out of the room, the fight left me, and I crumpled into Ron's arms.

But I found strength in the struggle

Face to face with my troubles

When you're broken

In a million little pieces

And you're trying

But you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

I ended up spending the next few, torturous weeks with Ron's family. It wasn't long after that, though, that Mr. Weasley was killed, and Ron fell into a deep state of shock. I tried to comfort him, since I knew what he was going through…but somehow, I couldn't get through to him.

Ginny tried to help me and her brother at the same time, even when she was in pain. She told me she knew how I felt, and that she'd always be there for me, no matter what happened. She said that in the end, I would come out stronger and wiser, and I would become a different, better person because of everything. At the time, I couldn't see it…but eventually, I noticed that I appreciated life more…and that even my shattered soul was beautiful even as I was picking up the pieces.

Little girl, don't be so blue
I know what you're going through

Don't let it beat you up…

Hitting walls and getting scars

Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are…

No matter how much your heart is aching

There is beauty in the breaking!

A few weeks later, Ron and Harry came to live with me. Harry couldn't bear to live at the Burrow; he'd see a depressed, lonely Ginny too often. Ron couldn't remain at the Burrow either, because it was full of memories of his father. Harry and Ron had never been inside my house, so there were no memories to remind them of any good times. It was a wonderful idea at first, but then I began to realize that Harry needed a lot of medical attention, and he often needed help up and down stairs, getting to the bathroom, and getting dressed—everyday things. He was often frustrated, angry, and brusque. He wasn't the Harry I knew, but I loved him just the same.

And then, somehow, I ended up in the arms of Draco Malfoy, in a room with a locked door and a bed, where no one was going to interrupt us anytime soon. My desire to be needed was filled, in a way, because Harry needed me for physical support and Ron needed me for emotional support. But Malfoy…he needed me for a purpose that had remained unbeknownst to me for quite some time. Being a virgin, I was excited…but I felt it was far too soon after my family's death to do pretty much anything with him…especially him. It was just…wrong. I felt worse and worse every time he touched me. I took a deep breath and made a decision.

When you're broken

In a million little pieces

And you're trying

But you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place…

When you're broken

When you're broken…

"Draco, stop. Please, stop. I can't do this now. Not with you."

He tensed; I could feel it under my arms. His mouth stopped sucking at my neck; his hands stopped unbuttoning my shirt. He pulled away and looked at me, entirely shocked. I suppose he had never been turned down before, especially during foreplay.

"Why?" he asked quickly, but I saw his features soften for a moment as he understood. "Oh…that." He looked disappointed.

"Yes…that." I shifted, removing my arms from around him. He stepped back to put more distance between us. "I'm sorry," I said, hoping I hadn't upset him. Wait. What the hell, Hermione. You can't actually be concerned with his feelings! He fucking killed your parents! And you're here making out with him! What the hell is wrong with you? I thought, and with every passing second, I began to feel like a dirty, betraying whore. I'd just trashed my parents' memories by nearly sleeping with their killer. Could I be any lower?

I supposed it didn't matter anymore.

"So…does this mean 'not now' or…never?" Draco asked, crossing his arms and looking directly into my eyes. My lips and skin still tingled from his touch.

"It means…it means…" I didn't want to say 'not now,' but I didn't want to say 'never' either. 'Not now' would mean tomorrow was a possibility. But never meant…well, never. Not that I cared…it was Malfoy. What could he possibly possess that would entice me to be with him? I'd made it this long without anything serious happening…and if things ever did get serious, I could always send him back to Minicent. Couldn't I?

He saw the way I was struggling with a decision. He sighed and took my hands in his, his expression exhausted and…nervous. It amazed me how human he seemed, since it was impossible that he could feel anything remotely human at all; after all, he'd killed far too many people and probably laughed while he'd done it.

He walked me toward the bed and I began to pull back.

"Relax…we're just going to sit and talk," he promised. I believed him, feeling like a complete moron as I sat down on the bed beside him.

For a moment, he couldn't look at me. He stared at my hands, at his hands, at his feet…at anything other than my face. But finally, after what seemed like forever, he took a deep breath and gazed up at me.

"Granger…Hermione," he corrected himself, "I…I never killed…I mean, I did kill people, but…well, what I'm trying to say is…that…" he paused, swallowed, let out a great sigh, and spoke very quickly. "Hermione, I did not kill your family. I came to your house late one night in the summer, and I saw them…they were eating dinner and feeding your little brother. I acquired an invisibility cloak, thanks to Voldemort, and I stood there, in the dining room, watching them eat. They never noticed me, but if they did, I'm still not sure I would have been able to kill them."

It knocked the air out of me. I believed him for a moment, but doubt quickly replaced all other thoughts in my mind. Then, doubt turned to anger, anger to suspicion, and finally, I became paranoid that he was making it all up to get me into bed.

"Stop it," I begged quietly, standing up to leave the room.

"No, wait! I'm telling you the truth. I didn't do it! I swear to you, I didn't!" he said, sounding desperate. Tears began to well up in my eyes. A few spilled down my cheeks. I blinked, keeping my back to him, and wiped the tears away. I kept my hand firmly on the doorknob. I unlocked it.

"Hermione! Don't…you don't understand…" I felt him approach me and place his hand on my shoulder. Anger boiled beneath my skin, and I whipped around, my temper gone from me.

"You! You never cease to amaze me! Every time I think you're getting better, a little easier to put up with, you go and fuck it all up! What do you think this was? Do you think I want you that bad? Do you think that lying and making up some insane story is gonna get you in my pants? NO! I was vulnerable, alone, and tired, and you just happened to come along and feel differently about me than Harry and Ron, and yes, I lost myself in it…but if you think that it will ever happen again, then you are terribly mistaken!"

I leaned forward and prodded him backward with my finger. He looked shocked and backed up until the back of his legs collided with the bed and he fell onto it. He sat on the edge, looking up at me, so close to me, yet again. I felt the tears coming back, but instead of letting him see them, I chose to keep yelling at him instead.

"You don't know what it's like…to come home…to your house…and find the people that loved you more than anyone else lying dead on the floor! You don't know what it's like to see your baby brother die before he even takes his first steps! And don't try to tell me that you're sorry, you lying, twisted, evil piece of shit! I did you a favor, you know, letting you come into my house! I saved you from Azkaban, because some part of me still thought…you—you didn't deserve to suffer there, that maybe…"

It became harder for me to speak. My vision was blurry and my breathing ragged. All my bottled-up rage and frustration was coming out, and every word that I spoke liberated me.

"I thought…you could still be changed. But then you feed me this bullshit, and all for what? For sex! And I bet you lied in the beginning too! I bet you've had loads of sex since your sixth year, raping women and then torturing them for fun! Is that what you were gonna do to me? Were you going to kill me and leave me here like you left my parents?"

I couldn't stop the tears. They came, full force, pouring down my face. Malfoy just stared at me, just stared, his mouth wide open. It took him a while before he could speak.

"I didn't kill your parents, I swear on my life! And I never forced a woman to do anything! And I would never kill you, Hermione, I—"

"Swear on your life? What good is your life? It's completely worthless! Do you have any idea what you've done? How many families you've ripped apart, how many hearts you've shattered into a million pieces? Do you have ANY idea?" He didn't answer me. An uncontrollable urge to hit him crossed over me, and my hands collided with his face. I punched him, slapped him, scratched at his face, screamed at him, cursed at him, and kicked him until he bled. But he never raised a hand to stop me, and he never said a word.

"Why?" I choked out, barely hitting him. I was suddenly very, very tired. My throat was dry from screaming and my hands hurt from hitting Malfoy so hard. I was completely out of breath, and I before I knew it, he pulled me against him, his arms wrapped around me.

I knew he was hurting; blood poured out of his nose, his lips were split, his eyes were black and blue, and his eyebrow had a deep cut across it. But he pulled me against him and held me there, tightly. I felt him rest his head against the side of mine; my head rested against his chest.

I fell asleep, exhausted, sobbing into none other than Draco Malfoy.

Other than the fact that I knew I felt much better, I also knew that I was irrevocably smitten with the man who held me all through the night, not moving until the first rays of the sun spread the light across his bruised face.

When you're broken

In a million little pieces

And you're trying

But you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

End Chapter

I always wanted her to beat the living hell out of him.

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