Disclaimer:dont own naruto, or a tap dancing turtle. crap... that would b awesome. oh, and i dont own foxtrot uniform charlie kilo, either. thats the bloodhound gang's.
Author's Note(s): im listening to the ddr butterfly song, so if this comes out dumb, blame it on the fact that im dancing to the butterfly song, even tho i dont own ddr... crap...
"Well, maybe you should be more direct with Hinata about what you think of her realtionship with Naruto. If its that bad on her psyche, than they don't belong together." My adoptive father said after he finished slurping some ramen noodles.
After my own nap, I went to go see Umino Iruka. He had taken great care of me. In my own way, I was raised by at least five people: Iruka, who had taken me in, Gekkou Hayate, my lupin sensei that taught me swordplay, Hatake Kakashi, who kept a close eye (do I smell a pun?) on me throughtout my life, and Maito Gai, who had taken it upon himself to guide me in the ways of youthfullness. I'll let you know how that works out.
Iruka hadn't aged a bit since I had first met him when I was five. Another one of my bite victims. I don't think he really minded being eteranlly young, though. Inuzuka Tsume couldn't keep her hands off of him. He spent his time between our small apartment and the Inuzuka's home. Iruka and Tsume were engaged, and I was happy for them. Kiba and Hana like the idea that their mom was finally moving on. Looks like I have another woman that is going to want to braid my hair and put me in a dress... Slit my wrists, please.
"Um... okay..." I still couldn't believe that he had gone against Naruto. He and the Uzumaki had a connection, being orphans and all. I was one, too, but I had been lucky to find people to ignore what I was and help me out. They weren't as fortunate.
"What? Not good advice?" Sitting at the ramen bar, he had turned to face me, licking a little bit of ramen off of his top lip. I'm suprised Naruto wasn't here.
"No, no. Its just that I thought that you would disagree because you and Naruto are so close." I began to eat some of the ramen for an excuse not to say anything else.
"I'm his friend, but I don't think that it would make him feel very good if he knew that his actions were causing Hinata harm. Oh, by the way, what have you and that Aburame been doing at his place? You haven't stayed the night home in over a week now. Because if he's touched you in anyway..." Time to use a gift that I had learned after years of being around Kiba: I hear him, but I'm not listening. So, it all came out blah de blah de blah. Personally, I think its more valuable then Hinata's skill.
Iruka looked over at me again. He had no idea I wasn't paying attention to a word he said. Having him bring up whether Shino had touched me yet was really uncomfortable. Of course he had touched me, he IS my boyfriend. But I knew he meant more than just holding hands. Iruka, my Papa, wanted to know whether I had sex with Shino. Well, I don't mean to be rude, Papa, but yeah, me and ole' Shino have done the horizontal tango, knocked boots, went all the way, we vulcanized the whoopee stick in the ham wallet, cattle prodded the oyster ditch with the lap rocket, batterdipped the the cranny axe in the gut locker, marinated the nether rod on the squish mitten, and all those other metaphors for fucking. But there was no way in hell I telling him that. I'd like Shino not to be attacked by a crazy guy with a facial scar who wants to have him castrated.
"Loki..." Now I was being warned. Want to know a secret? I'm 16, a jonin shinobi, I control all lupins with an icy glare, can cut down the fierciest of opponents, and I'm still afraid of my daddy yelling at me. Go figure.
"Well... um..." And with that, Papa started to foam at the mouth and fell off the chair, a really creepy look on his oaken face. Shit... I think I made my dad have a seizure... no iPod for Christmas this year...
He rose up shakily. This wasn't going to be good. Iruka hauled himself back onto his seat. I didn't know to expect a whap across the head, or a fork to the kidney. I cringed and waited for my punishment. Nothing came. I opened one eye, and saw him paying the bill, his dark face now pale and blank. The scar stood out oddly from the rest of his face. Papa stood up and then bent down til he was eye to eye with me. I whimpered and closed my eyes.
Instead of feeling the life fleeing my body, or a kunai drive into my forehead, I felt a gentle hand pat my head and a kiss on my cheek.
"Bye. Sorry I have to go so soon, but lunch break isn't as long as it should be. Lucky, you're ANBU and only have to work when you're called upon. Oh well. I'll drop some things of later at Shino's for you. Love you!" Iruka waved happily and I just sat there. Why wasn't I dead yet? Oh... my... GAWD!!! He's going to kill Shino but he doesn't want me suspicious!
"Uh... Papa? Why am I still alive? Please don't kill Shino..." I pleaded. I made the most adorable chibi eyes imaginable and thrust out my lower lip.
"Well, at least you were honest about it."
"What if I had said no? There is no way you could tell."
"Oh, really? I can smell him all over you. You keep on forgetting I'm a lupin now, too."
I fell out of my own seat. At least no one was going to be killed and/or neutered today. That's always a good thing. After a few moments I picked myself up and heading off to the market to go find the ingrediants for Shino's dinner tonight. Oh, and a band-aid. The floor in there isn't very soft... I think I may have a concussion... Maybe I can get some Vicodin out of this...
Final Notes: i dont no how u people like Iruka and Tsume dating, but it was I thought it would be an interesting match.