A/N: Okay. I put all my other fics on hold to write this chapter. I really hope everyone likes it…
Mony19: Hope you like this!
General Mac: Finishing isn't an option. But I will write another chapter.
Pulchra Nex: Wow. Finally. The Big one. Big sing-song chappie! Glad it was worth being late to school!
anj4eva091403: Definitely Spuffy.
spikegothicchick: What time does school normally end for you! Mine starts at 8:55am and ends at 3:15pm. Hope you like this chappie!
Jess: Thank you!
funkydevil206: Soon, soon. Thanks for reviewing!
marykiss: Nowish…
All day, Buffy had been singing and playing the guitar. Mainly playing her guitar, because it was the part that she had the least experience with.
She had played the disc over and over so she knew exactly where to highlight lines and exactly when to change her pitch or tempo.
Sighing, she put the disc in a case, her guitar in its bag and the box that Faith had given her next to her musical supplies.
She took a deep breath, trying to settle the nerves. She couldn't stop moving. Twitching, shaking, cleaning. Couldn't stop. If she stopped then she would probably start to hyperventilate or something.
She let out the breath she had been holding and looked to the clock that hung near her. Midday. Only five hours to go.
School would probably have been a better option… but she couldn't have handled lying to Willow or Xander for another day. Even if it weren't the worst lie in the world, it still made her feel bad.
She scratched her arm and looked at the clock. Phew. Two hours till the assembly. One and a half till she had to be there.
She walked over to the box Faith had given her, and opened it slightly. She peeked inside and saw a flash of red. She undid the ribbon and took of the lid, seeing red leather and black.
She pulled out the red, and looked at what 'it' was. Her eyes widened and she looked them over. The new pair of red leather pants. They were gorgeous. And hey! They were her size!
She smiled wickedly and put them on, loving the way they clung to her. Then she pulled out the black halter top and slipped it on. She jogged over to the mirror and admired her new out fit.
The silky, black halter came down far enough that her hips were exposed only slightly, near the bottom. She span around and smiled. Now for her hair.
She ran to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She frowned and pulled out a brush, taking care to keep all of her hair straight and soft. Then she went to her make-up, and took out the eyeliner. Now she could be badBuffy again.
She walked into the assembly hall from an almost deserted school quad, carrying her guitar and CD. She looked around and saw Ms Calender over by the stage with Mr Wood, the drama teacher. She smiled and walked over to them, trying to ignore the need of more air, and the nerves that were threatening to take control of her body.
She took one last breath and stood next to Ms Calender, who saw her immediately.
"Buffy! Thank god! Would you like to go backstage… and… rehearse?" Ms Calender asked, wincing as if Buffy was going to complain about rehearsing again.
"Uh… Okay…" Buffy wasn't in the mood to argue. She just trudged off backstage, trying to get rid of her nerves.
The hall was crowded with all the students. The assembly had been in place for over an hour and every time Buffy took a peek behind the curtains, she could see Faith trying to persuade Willow to stay. Most likely because she thought Buffy was hurt or sick or in trouble or something.
Buffy felt guilty, shying away to the shadows to prevent any further contact; even though the contact was one-sided.
Ms Calender tapped her on the shoulder shortly after, "Buffy… the drama act has finished… and year eleven is giving their farewell speech… are you ready? You're on next."
You're on next.
Buffy was haunted by those words. She shivered, and picked up her guitar, "Ready? As I'll ever be."
She heard the students stop talking and Ms Calender hurried off to announce her. Buffy had loaded up on deodorant before she had come… just in case. Her make-up had been perfect and her clothes… she loved them. Everything was right.
She looked down to her feet, which were bare. Shoes all felt uncomfortable. And she had decided that the guitar would have made it hard so balance if she wore heals, so she gave up and went barefoot. She had a long coat wrapped around her to cover up the pants and top. She didn't want to take it off. The outfit showed to much of her.
Buffy walked out on stage, on cue. Perfectly on cue. Her guitar behind her, the strap across her front holding it to her. The lights had all been put off by the people controlling the sounds and lighting, so it was pitch black in the hall. She couldn't see the audience and they couldn't see her. Perfect.
She gazed into the darkness, looking up to the sound box before back to the silhouettes of the audience. She was sure they could see her outline as well.
She watched the shadow of Ms Calender walk away from the microphone as she approached it.
"Hi… My name is Buffy Summers," One of the lights flickered, threatening to turn on, "Can the lights stay off? Please?" Buffy asked and it quit flickering, "Thankyou. My name is Buffy Summers… and just seven days ago; I was asked to sing a song. To say farewell to the year twelve's. Now… I didn't just choose a song, I wrote one… It's called How Does It Feel… and… uh… here it is…"
The familiar sound of the guitar floated through the air as she swung it around to her front and started. A light went on, and she could see the audience. Her music had started but her hand froze, pick still between her thumb and forefinger.
She looked at the audience and saw Willow, staring up at her. Her face filled with pride, hurt and wonder, all at the same time. Buffy's whole body froze and the music played without her as she looked in Willow's eyes.
Xander looked up at her and smiled, nodding his head in approval. Buffy saw Faith murmuring something to Willow, and she finally smiled. The music stopped, and Faith looked up to see Buffy.
Their eyes met and Faith frowned. Buffy's eyes widened as Faith stood up on her chair and stuck her fingers in her mouth, letting out a long whistle.
"Come on, B! You can do it!" She screamed up to Buffy and she smiled.
The lights went off once more and Buffy looked around.
She took of the coat she had on, and took a deep breath. She let it out and stepped closer to the mike. She strummed the first chord of the song and the backing music started.
"When the road feels dark
And everything's harder than it seems"
She started weekly, her vocal chords deceiving her. So she closed her eyes and forced herself to believe that she was alone.
"It's a little like everyone's against you,
But they're only trying to help"
Eyes still closed, she sang with passion now. With a passion for the music. She swayed to the familiar rhythm of it and barely noticed as the lights went on.
"Stress overwhelms you
From pain… You do not gain"
She looked into the hall, and saw her friends, swollen with pride, smiling up at her.
She smiled back at them, singing louder and stronger.
"And the road ahead is dark…"
She glanced around, seeing Spike, who was looking at her… so intently, that she was burning inside from his gaze.
"You don't know how to feel
Or how to explain it"
Her expression softened as she looked at him, into his blue eyes. He dipped his head in appreciation for the music, giving her a slight smile.
"All I want to know is;"
She whispered the sentence, looking at the faces around the hall, the yelled out the next part.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL?"
She strummed on her guitar, with feeling. A loud electrifying sound rang out through the hall and she realized one of the teachers had plugged her into the amp.
"To be leaving"
She sang softly.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL?"
She yelled once again, her voice coming through just as she wanted.
"To be going somewhere new…"
She sang to the impressed face of Spike. She looked over to Faith, who was grinning from ear to ear. She could see Faith was impressed with her outfit. Past impressed. Amazed. In awe.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL!"
She closed her eyes again, still playing the guitar. Making love to the music as she swayed her hips.
"To be you."
She swung her guitar round behind her and swayed to the beat of the music for awhile, dancing with herself. Then she opened her eyes and swung her guitar back round to her front.
"You get to leave, to finish, to go."
All the music stopped momentarily, then pounded back threw the speakers that surrounded the hall.
"You get to finish the work
You get to leave the hell
You get to go to. The. World!"
She sang loudly. Clearly. Perfectly. Just as she wanted to. No more vocal-chord-deception.
"And when you get there
Don't forget to tell me;"
Spike's eyes bore into her own, and she couldn't tear hers away. His gaze was so strong, and she knew his ears were taking in everything. Then she yelled;
"HOW DOES IT FEEL?"
Eyes closed, she played the guitar masterfully. As if she hadn't only just started playing. As if she's been playing for years.
"To be gone."
She swayed again, tilting her head and looking to Spike.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL?"
For some reason, she felt that he could see into her. Read her mind. And for some reason, she was intrigued.
"To be through."
She could see Willow and Xander's wide eyes out the corner of her own. She could feel the pride vibrating of Faith, even from the distance that was between them.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL!"
She yelled rhythmically.
"To Be You."
Sometimes, just sometimes, she wondered what it would be like to have everyone's attention. At this precise moment. This exact moment, she felt it. Felt the feeling that she'd wondered how to feel.
"And when you know…
Oh When. You. Know!"
She loved the feeling. She was wishing that it would never go away. She was wishing that everyone would notice her and know she was Buffy Summers. The girl from LA with the voice of an Angel.
"Don't you dare forget
To tell me…"
She walked as close as she could to the microphone. Lips almost touching it, and whispered.
"How does it feel?"
She looked up into Spikes eyes.
"How DOES it feel?"
His eyes met hers.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL!"
She yelled, and everyone looked interested.
"To be free."
She finished with a perfect note. A perfect chord. A perfect song.
The audience looked at her for a second. It was the longest second of her life. Then Spike clapped. Along with Willow, Faith and Xander. Then the rest of the school. She smiled when she started to feel deafened by the roar of applause.
This is how she wanted to feel. This is why she sang. She laughed and leant into the microphone, "That's for the year twelve's… Thankyou."
She turned and walked away from the stage, a huge smile on her face. Her eyes finally met Ms Calender's, which were smiling at her.
"Thank you," she mouthed, before heading backstage.
A/N: How was it! I need reviews! Wow. Took me forever to get that one done. Sorry bout the wait folks! How was it! I reviews! Wow. Took me forever to get that one done. Sorry bout the wait folks!