Chapter 5: One Starry Night
Two months later
I've been out in the wilds for 4 months now. Two more before I have to rejoin Gohan and Piccolo. It won't be easy, and so far I haven't needed Kattalia's help. I have felt the lust, true, but not so bad that I felt like I needed help.
I sat under the waterfall and meditated. It was night, there was no moon, and the stars were bright.
I think I may have gotten control on my own. I've hunted and cooked my meat, and that… thing, hasn't come back. Those instincts are staying down.
I opened my eyes when I sensed movement. I knew better than to stay in the open, so I jumped from my rock to the nearby bushes and sat low to the ground, still and barely moving, even to breathe. When the rain started I barely noticed.
I bet it's that damn tiger again… or that raptor pack…It was the tiger, as I guessed. My hackles lifted and my ears picked up its heartbeat. It had just finished its hunt and was heading home, going through my site. A growl escaped my throat.
I will not stand for a trespasser in my territory…The tiger stopped when it heard my growl. I stepped from my hiding place to plain sight, and the tiger let out a growl.
"This is my place… get out." I hissed. She wasn't interested in leaving so easily. She lowered, her haunches poised to attack.
"You cannot defeat me, beast." I growled as I lowered myself. My claws extended as I stood. I glanced down at my new claws and then back at the tiger. I didn't want to lose eye contact now.
I didn't know I could do that… this will make my task easier…The tiger roared and leapt into the air. I followed suit and tackled the beast. My claws sank into her chest as her claws tore my clothes and skin.
I pushed the heavy body off me and stood. I howled and roared in victory.
I looked down to the blood on my hands and smiled. I liked it, and then I licked that hand clean. It tasted so good. I stopped and looked up to the sky.
"I won… I defeated my enemy… I killed-"I stopped and stared at my hands. They were covered in blood, the tiger's blood. My arms were scratch, and I just now felt the sting of pain.
"I… I killed it… for no reason… I lost control. Again. I. Lost. Control. Again."
I fell to my knees and held myself.I lost control again… I went too far… if that had been someone I care for… if it had been a person…
"Issda nagala Kattalia. Issda nagala Kattalia!"
I fell into a fetal position. Tears were a familiar and unwanted guest. I didn't like that I cried so often, but I would become stronger eventually, once I got past this. If I could.
I wrapped my tail around my legs, and that's when I noticed it. My tail had grown back. That was only part of why I lost control, though. I nearly lost control when I didn't have my tail.
Is this punishment? What did I do to deserve such a fate? Do all Saiyans go through this? I swear, I'll never tell of this… never…
"I heard your call and I- by the gods and demons kitten, what happened?""It… I…" I couldn't talk as I choked on tears. She came over and put her hand on my shoulder as she looked down into my eyes. I flinched from her touch.
"It's okay kitten, it's okay."
"If that had been Piccolo… or Gohan… or just a hiker…"
"Shh, I get it. Tell me all about it."
I looked up into her red eyes. Being stuck with the guys made me realize how much I needed a female friend to confide in. I nodded and sat back up.
"I was meditating under the waterfall. I heard the tiger and hid from it. Then my instincts took over… it's a blur, but… I killed it, and I liked it. I… licked all the blood off my hand." I looked down to my hands. One still had fresh blood covering it, and the other had bloody smears.
"Come on, I'll take you home with me. You aren't in any condition to stay out here tonight."
I nodded and closed my eyes in defeat. I had lost a very important battle tonight, a battle I thought I had won. This was a lesson I'd never forget.
If I ever write some sort of biography about my life, this will not be in it. I'll never forget, but I won't ever speak of it.
When I opened my eyes we were already there. We were still in the same position as when I closed my eyes.
"You seem surprised, kitten. I can teleport." She said, helping me up. I didn't mind the nickname. Anyway, I was so withdrawn that the walk up the staircase didn't even register. She put me in the same chair, wrapped a blanket around me, and sat down. I was shaking, but not from the rain or cold. I was shocked right down to my bones.
"Do you want anything?"
I shook my head, still looking at my feet.
"You know, it was just a tiger."
"It doesn't matter what it was… for all I care it could have been a bug… it's the fact that I lost control over my instincts again."
"Has Son Goku ever lost control?"
"Who, Goku? No, never."
"Why?" Kattalia asked.
"He was hit on the head as a baby and he lost his instincts."
"So what if you did that?"
"Hell no!" I said, standing up, "I…"
Why don't I want that?"You don't want to lose your instincts. But you don't want to be ruled by them, either."
Is that it? I sat back down."Help me control them. I don't to lose control ever again." I asked.
"I'll help you, but first you need rest. Come on, I'll take you to a nice warm bed. You can clean up and be civil for a bit."
"Actually… isn't there someway I could… sleep outside? I guess I'm use to it now. It's hard to sleep when I can't see the stars."
"That isn't possible. It's too dangerous outside in this land. And you don't need to be outside alone anyway." I got up and followed Kattalia out the door.
"Where is this land anyway?""Piccolo never told you, huh? Not surprised. This land is further north than the Snowy Village, but further south than the Great Bear Desert."
"Wait… how is that-"
"No mortal can find it." She replied.
"Oh, I get it… I think."
I followed her down the stairs back to the first floor. We went down another hall and we stopped in front of a door.
"You like the stars, right? That's what you said earlier."
"Uh, yeah. Must sound weird." I replied.
"Not really. When you're, well, like us, inside spaces seem so tiny."
"What do you mean, like us?"
"Piccolo, you, my brother, and I. We all have an animalistic side, even when we're the most humane."
"Oh." I replied. She opened the door and let me in.
"There's a bathroom down this hall. I'd use it if I were you. No telling how long it will be before you get to use another."
8 months, if we live…"Sounds good." When the door opened my jaw dropped. The ceiling was painted with starlight, real starlight.
"Demon magic. Just cause were demon doesn't automatically mean we're evil, remember that. Demons are like mortals, we can be good or bad. Most are bad, though, hence the name."
"So I've seen." I said."I'll let you rest. Take a nice hot bath if you like. I bet it will help you feel better. That Piccolo… he never liked to bathe. He'd only shower if Mychal or I forced him."
That made me laugh. It seemed very possible. Piccolo was a hell raiser from what I saw of him in late Dragonball.
This is all still so strange, yet I feel comfortable here. I'm surrounded by aliens and demons, but I'm not scared… wait, yes I am, just not of them.
"Goodnight, kitten."
"Oh, yeah, goodnight, Kattalia." I said, bowing. She laughed.
"Funny, you don't look Japanese." She said, and then faded from the hall.
I took Kattalia's advice and took a hot bath. I soaked in that hot water for a very long time. My achy muscles were relaxed and my wounds cleaned. I finally saw how much damage, or good, the wilds had done.
Bruises covered my body. That was mostly from my fun experience with the dinosaurs living near my site. I also had cuts. I saw the fresh cuts on my arms and shuddered. My muscles were toned, though, and I was tan. My hair was ragged in its long state, so cleaning it was a welcomed change. Trying to detangle it was another thing.
My only other clothes were just the white tank and shorts that I wore under my Gi. That would have to do, my Gi was wet, ripped, and filthy, and I figured if I was going to sleep in a bed, I might as well undress for the occasion.
I folded the Gi and put it on the floor next to the bed. I climbed in and looked to the ceiling, the fake stars were so realistic.
Is that all I am? An animal? Am I doomed to fight this side of me forever? Can Kattalia help me? Can anyone?
I looked at my hands again. Though I was clean and warm, and maybe even safe, I still saw blood on my hands.
Out damn spot! That's what lady Macbeth called before she killed herself. Is that my fate as well?
I bet another Saiyan could help me… Vegeta… if only you weren't going to be an enemy, I could just try to hold out for a few more months. But if this goes like the show it'll be years before he'd even think of me as a… ally.
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AS22: ok people, 2 reviews are all I'm asking beforeI post again. please R&R!