7

8 months earlier…

"Claire, so nice to see you! Tess…" Today was the day of Harry and Liz Ryan's 30th wedding anniversary and they held a huge party at Killarney. Friends and neighbours from the whole district had gathered to celebrate the big day and Liz had outdone herself with the party. Claire and Tess both didn't really feel comfortable there but for totally different reasons. For Claire it was mainly having to dress up and having to talk to people she didn't really know. She was not the right person to do small talk…

Tess's reason for being uncomfortable was simply one person…Liz Ryan. Ever since Tess had come home to Drovers Run Liz had made it clear towards her that she didn't like her. Even more since Tess had started to bond with Nick. They were now business partners harvesting organic wheat on Wilgul. Tess didn't really know what she had done to Liz but she knew she was only here because the Ryans couldn't only invite Claire when the whole district was present.

Liz had sat down drinking tea with some of the other women and Claire and Tess had been forced to sit down as well. The women talked about housework and knitting and Claire rolled her eyes. This was going to be a very long afternoon, VERY long. The men stood in safe distance having a conversation about farming. Claire looked at Alex and when he looked over to her she rolled her eyes again. Alex laughed and mouthed to her "That bad?" and Claire nodded yes. When she turned her attention back to the women's conversation Harry had come up behind Liz petting her shoulders.

"So tell me Susan, when's your baby due?" Liz asked one of the women in the round.

"Oh, still 3 more weeks to go." Susan answered. "But they say the first one's never on time so who knows when this one will come!"

"Ah yes, yes, that's true. Let's hope they don't have to induce labour, I can still remember how bad that was…"

Both Claire and Harry looked really surprised all of a sudden. They both didn't really know if they had heard correctly…

Liz realized she had said something she shouldn't have and got up. "Does anybody want another cup of tea?" she asked and was gone before any of the other women could answer. Harry followed her inside.

Once they had entered the house Harry stopped Liz and asked her "What do you know about inducing labour? I thought Alex was a premature birth…"

"I wasn't talking about Alex, I was talking about Nick…" Liz knew she had said too much but still tried to save the situation.

"No you were not! So this is why you wanted to marry so fast…you were pregnant and needed a father for your child!"

"Harry…let me explain.."

"NO! Who's the father? It can't be me for sure, we waited…It's that knob you always hung around with. Right?"

"Harry, please…"

"TELL ME THE TRUTH!"

"Harry, I chose you to be Alex's father. Weren't we happy those 30 years?"

"You chose me? YOU CHOSE? Where was my choice in all that…you lied to me!"

By that time the shouting had gotten so loud that it could be heard outside as well. Alex, Nick, Tess and Claire all headed for the house to see what was wrong. When they entered the living room Liz was crying and Harry had a distant look in his eyes full of anger.

"Mum, Dad, what's up? What is this all about?" Alex asked.

"Are you going to tell him or shall I do it?" Harry asked Liz. When she didn't answer Harry looked first at Alex then Nick and the McLeod sisters. "Your mother lied to me for 30 years. She was pregnant when we got married…"

"So what?" Alex looked confused.

"Not to me! She was pregnant with another man's child…"

When the truth began to make its way into Alex's mind he looked at his mother. "Is this true Mum?"

"Look, Alex…let me explain…"

"I wanna know if it's true!"

"Yes…but…"

You could see Alex's face drop. Harry was not his father. The man he had fought with and wished he was dead so many times in his life was not his father…

Alex ran outside as fast as he could almost knocking Nick over, got in his car and drove off…

8

Tess sat on the veranda and looked out into the night. What did Claire think when she drove to Fisher? Nothing! She hadn't even called yet so Tess didn't know if she was all right or somewhere wrapped around a tree.

Tess was so caught up in her worries about Claire that she didn't hear Nick's ute pull up. So she jumped when he called her.

"Tess?"

"Nick…oh my god…you just scared the living daylights out of me! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to Claire, she inside?"

"Claire…HA! Claire has decided she needs to some shopping alone and will be in Fisher over night…Have I mentioned she is alone?"

"Oh…"was all Nick said and looked thoughtful.

"What oh? You know something about this?"

"Well, I might…not sure…"

"Nick? Anything you wanna tell me?"

"I don't know…She called me today and asked me if I knew where Alex is…"

"Don't tell me you told her!"

"No Tess, because I have no clue where he is! But I gave her Mum's phone number and address in Fisher and told her she might know…"

"Nick, you stupid idiot! Shopping! I knew she wouldn't go shopping! She's gone to see your Mum! Jeez Nick, I could kill you!" and with that Tess stormed off and left Nick wondering what on earth he had done wrong this time…

At the same time Claire knocked on Liz's door in Fisher. 'What the hell am I doing here?' she thought and wanted to turn around just as the door opened. Claire looked in Liz's surprised face.

"Claire dear, what are you doing here so late?" Liz asked and then saw Claire's swollen tummy. "You're pregnant!"

"Umm yes. Can I talk to you for a minute Liz?"

"Sure, come in, it's cold out there!"

Claire walked into the house and could see packed boxes everywhere.

"I hear you're moving to Melbourne?"
"Oh yes, now that the divorce is final I don't really have anything to keep me here."

"What about Nick?"

"Oh, Nick will come and visit me in the city. Claire, why are you here?"

"Liz, do you know where Alex is?"

"Alex? No, sorry dear. I haven't seen him ever since I gave him the papers when I signed his trust fund over…"

"And he didn't mention where he wanted to go?" Claire's hopes faded. Liz had been her last hope of finding Alex.

"Sorry, no. Why do you need to find him?"

"I'm sorry Liz but I can't tell you right now, I just need to find him…I really need to talk to him."

"Well, I'm sorry I can't help you. I wish he would have talked to me properly about what happened…I really thought I had done the right thing…"

"Sorry Liz but I can understand why he's done it. You lied to him about his father his whole life. How is he supposed to feel? Thankful?"

"Claire, you don't understand…I really didn't have a choice back then…"

"Well tell me about it then! Maybe I can explain it to Alex if I ever find him…"

"Alex knows, I told him when he came to get the papers…I even gave him Bryce's address but he still…"

"Hold on, you told him where to find his father?"

"Yes, why?"
"Because I think I know where he is…"

After Claire had finished talking to Liz she went back to her hotel. With the address of Alex's father in hands she finally had something that gave her a clue where she could find him. She needed to get to Melbourne as soon as she could…

9

8 months earlier…

After Alex had driven off without a word the party came to a sudden end. So Claire decided it was better to go and find Alex before he could get himself into trouble. As she drove past the Killarney sign she found it on the ground, smashed into pieces.

'I better hurry to find him…' she thought to herself. But that was harder to do than she thought.

She finally found him outside the Gungellan pub with some young girl clinging to his lips and a couple empty bottles of beer at the table next to him.

"Alex, can we talk?"

Alex let go of the girl and looked up. He was definitely not pleased to see her.

"Wreck off Claire, I don't wanna talk about it…"

The girl on Alex's lap gave him a strange look and got up. "I should have known…" she said and walked away.

"Nice work Claire…"

"You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine…" Alex moved in his chair and hit some of the bottles on the table causing them to fall down. "Just fine…The old man's not my father, my mother's been lying to me all my life…it's bullshit Claire, it's bullshit…"

Claire had sat down on a chair opposite of him and just let him talk.

"Who is Alex Ryan?" Alex laughed. "He's a nobody, doesn't exist, never did…"

"That's crazy Alex, of course you do!"

Alex leaned over to Claire now and looked her deep in the eyes. He was crying "What bit is real? Can you tell me?" Their gazes melded as Alex leaned over to Claire and took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "See, it's bullshit…" he said after he stopped the kiss. When he wanted to get up after that Claire held him back.

"Alex, come on, it's not bullshit and you know! Come with me…let's go somewhere else. Think you've had enough to drink for today!" Alex looked in her begging eyes and gave in. He didn't know what to do with himself right now but being with Claire felt better than anything else.

"I don't really wanna go anywhere, can't we just stay here Claire? If we go to any of our places I will have to meet the rest of the lot and I can't deal with anybody right now…"

"All right, but I'll get us a room so we can be alone, ok?"

Claire got up and walked inside hoping that Alex would still be waiting for her when she came back. But he was still there and got up when Claire waved the keys to the room. They went up there in silence and once they had reached the room and gotten inside Alex just fell into Claire's arms crying like a baby.

"Sshh, it's ok Alex…just let it out…" she said and led him to the bed to sit down and just held him tight while he cried out all his anger and frustration.

After a while he looked up and straight into Claire's eyes. Their views once again locked and Alex cupped Claire's face with his hands and kissed her again. Claire knew it was wrong but she just couldn't help but kiss him back. It was such a long time since they had shared their last kiss but Claire still remembered it like yesterday. It felt so right to kiss Alex, nothing had ever felt so right.

As their kiss got deeper and hungrier Alex started unbuttoning Claire's shirt in deep need to touch her skin. Claire helped him willingly and when he had freed her from the shirt she pulled his shirt off as well. When Claire finally felt Alex's skin on hers she felt like she had come home.

They got rid of the rest of their clothes and pulled the covers off the bed. There was no stopping them now, they had both waited too long for this. None of them had forgotten what it had felt like to be together and when they finally became one now they felt like they were floating on air nowhere near the ground…