18

Claire had finally reached the outskirts of Melbourne. She had called a hotel and booked a room from the motel she had stayed last night. The hotel had given her a rough description of how to find them but it had been almost 15 years since Claire had last been here and she had never driven a car in Melbourne. She tried to follow what the boy at the motel desk had written down but it was hard to drive, read the note and pay attention to the traffic she was not used to. After about 20 minutes of driving in the city Claire was completely lost. Worst of all her bladder was starting to tell her that it needed emptying soon…

'Damn, why didn't I buy that bloody map yesterday…" she thought to herself still trying to figure out if she was anywhere close to her hotel. But she had just entered an area of nice small houses that didn't look at all like there would be a hotel anywhere near…

Another 10 minutes later Claire couldn't stand the pressure on her bladder anymore. She just had to find a loo somewhere…or even a bush would do. Just something!

As she drove by one of the houses she saw an elderly lady in the front yard working on her flowers. So she stopped the car and got our as quickly as she could.

"Umm… Ma'am…I'm sorry to bother you…"

The lady looked up "Oh dear, did your water break? Do you need an ambulance?"

Claire laughed "No, no, it's not that. Actually I only need a toilet desperately and I'm lost finding my hotel…"

"Oh, you can use my bathroom! Come on, I'll show you where it is!" With that the lady took Claire's hand and led her inside the house. Claire really liked the interior of the house. It spread a warm atmosphere and Claire could even imagine living in a house like that.

"Here we are dear, jus feel like you're home. I'll make us a cup of tea in the meantime."

"Thank you very much but it's really not necessary…"
"Oh it'd be a pleasure dear, I don't have all that many visitors. And we can try to find out how you can find the way to your hotel."

"Well, thanks then…"

When Claire was finished in the bathroom the tea was already waiting for her in the back garden. And along with it there were some gorgeous smelling chocolate biscuits. Claire's stomach began to grumble she hadn't eaten anything since she had left the motel this morning and it was already 4 pm!

"Sit down dear and have a cup of tea. I'm Edna by the way. I don't even know your name yet…"

"Oh, sorry, I'm Claire, Claire McLeod."

"What brings you to the city then Claire?"

"Long story but basically I'm looking for somebody…"

"Oh, I see…"

In the next hour Claire told Edna everything that had happened. It felt good to talk about it with somebody who had not a given opinion about everything. Then they took Edna's road map and looked up the way to Claire's hotel. They found out it was not all that far away so Edna decided Claire could stay and have something proper to eat before she headed for her hotel. Claire really liked the old woman, she had made her feel welcome right away and hadn't judged Claire even after she had told her story.

When it was already starting to get dark outside Claire finally got back into her car together with boxes filled with the rest of Edna's great dinner and her road map. "Once you've found your Alex you can always bring the boxes back to me. The address is written on the bottom of each box" Edna had said.

This time Claire found her hotel without a problem and was glad to finally be able to put up her feet. Once her head hit the bed she fell asleep right away and even forgot to call Tess…

19

10 years earlier…

Their wedding ceremony was short and simple. Alex had gotten a set of really nice looking wedding rings and Claire guessed they must have cost him quite a bit of money. Claire had decided before the wedding that this was one of the rare occasions to wear a dress and that had made Alex gasp for air as she had walked down the aisle.

After the ceremony was over the registrar took a picture of them in front of some beautiful flowers that made Claire feel sick because they smelled so strong. And then it was over…they were married, officially husband and wife. Claire couldn't help but smile at the thought. And Alex looked pretty happy himself.

They spent the day wandering around town holding hands, not really recognizing what was going on around them. Reality could kick back in the next day, this was their day together…and night.
Alex had gotten them a hotel room and had organized some people to look after their stuff at the rodeo site. They were both signed in to participate the next day but tonight they didn't care about sleep, they only cared about being together.

None of them got much sleep that night so when it was time for Claire to ride in her camp draft the next day she really had a hard time concentrating on her horse and everything else she needed to do. When she rode into the circuit she really had to remind herself to stay focussed. She picked out the beast and shouted "Open" and then the gate opened and her and Lightning flew out haunting the beast around the court.

And then it happened…

Claire took a very tight turn on Lightning afraid to lose the beast but with her tired and not concentrated mind she hadn't fixed her saddle properly before her ride. So in that tight turn the saddle started to slide and Lightning lost his balance and buried Claire under him…

Alex had watched the whole scene from the fence and was horrified. 'Oh no, Claire…' he thought and tried to get to her as quickly as he could, jumping over the fence.

Claire's head had hit the floor hard when she fell and she was still unconscious when Alex and the paramedics arrived at the same time. They carried her out of the circuit and after a quick examination decided she needed to be taken to hospital right away. Before they left Alex told them that Claire was pregnant. He wanted to stay with her but knew he had to take care of Lightning first so he followed the ambulance later with his own car.

When he finally arrived at the hospital Claire had already been examined but she still hadn't woken up.

Alex sat beside her bed holding her hand with tears in his eyes. Slowly Claire began to open her eyes.

"Alex?"

"I'm here Claire, I'm here?"

"What happened?"

"I don't know actually…Lightning lost his balance and buried you under him…"

Just in this moment the doctor walked into the room.

"Ah, Ms McLeod, I see you're finally awake…"

"Doc, is she alright?" Alex was worried sick about Claire.

"She is, apart from some bruises and a minor concussion she's fine."

"What about the baby?" Claire asked.

"Well, that horse was pretty heavy as well as your fall so I'm sorry to tell you that the baby didn't survive…"

"NOOO!" Claire started crying and fell into Alex's arms "Not the baby…" She was devastated.

Alex didn't know what to do. Claire was crying in his arms and he wanted to ease her pain but he felt like crying himself. This was not fair, why was this happening to them?

"We'll keep you here for a day or two Ms McLeod, but you should take it easy the next 2 weeks." The doctor said and touched Claire's shoulder before he left the room.

"Why Alex…why the baby?"

"Claire…I…this is not fair…" Alex said and felt tears running down his cheek. "Claire, I need to call your Dad and tell him what happened…"

"Don't tell him about the baby…or about us…please Alex, I can't deal with that now…" Claire's eyes begged him.

"Ok I won't but we need to tell him one day…"

"Not now…" Claire's view got empty as Alex left the room to call Jack. This was not right…this was just not right…

20

Tess got up in the morning after a more or less sleepless night. Claire hadn't called the evening before and she was worried sick about her. What if she had had an accident or gone into labour alone in the middle of nowhere?

'Damn…Claire!' Tess thought "Why did you have to drive to Melbourne all alone? The was the most stupid idea you ever had…"

She got dressed and went to the stables to milk Madonna before breakfast. When she came back to the kitchen after that, Meg was already finished fixing the meal and put a plate in front of Tess.

"Did Claire make it to Melbourne all right?" she asked before she saw the worried look on Tess's face.

"She didn't call Meg…and I don't know which hotel she's staying at! She didn't bother to tell me. What of something happened to her? What if she's somewhere in a hospital and nobody knows who she is?"

"Tess…maybe it was just too late to call when she got there. She'll be fine, I would feel it if there was something wrong with her…"

"Meg! She knows I would stay up till she calls. She'd do the same. There MUST be something wrong!" Tess started to cry.

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it Tess…" Just as Meg went over to hug Tess, Nick walked in.

"Morning ladies…" he said and smiled. But that smile faded as he saw Tess crying in Meg's arms.

"What's wrong? Anything happen to Claire?"

"We don't know…" Meg said and looked at him. Tess couldn't speak. "She didn't call last night…"

"Oh…" was all Nick said. He felt sorry for Tess because he knew how close the two sisters had gotten in those 3 years since Tess's return.

"Tess" Nick said then "I'm sure everything's all right. She probably just forgot to call…"

"How can she forget when she knows I'm waiting for the call?" Tess sobbed and looked at him angrily.

"Well…she's Claire…"

That was the moment the telephone rang…

Tess jumped up and with the third ring she answered the phone.

"Claire, where the hell are you?" She shouted into the phone before the person on the other line even had a chance to say something. Luckily it was Claire. Of all mornings in her life she had chosen this day to sleep in…till 7:30…

"Jeez…Good Morning Tess, I'm glad to speak to you too!" she said.

"Claire, do you have any idea how worried I am right now? Why didn't you call last night?"

"I'm sorry Tess. I got lost when I reached Melbourne and when I finally found the hotel I was so tired I fell asleep right away." She didn't tell Tess about the afternoon with Edna, that would have upset her only more…

"Don't you EVER do that to me again Claire McLeod…You hear me? Now…tell me, have you found him yet?" Tess finally calmed down a little and was now curious about what Claire might have found out so far.

"Tess, I just got here last night. What should I have found out since then?" Claire rolled her eyes. She was good but not that good…That was so Tess!

"I've got the addy of his father's office and I've got a map now so I think I'll give that a try today. Other than that I have no clue where to look…"

They went on to talk about what had happened on Drovers and what needed to be done today and finally hang up with Tess being relieved and Claire getting nervous about her excursion today…

21

10 years earlier…

After Alex had called Claire's Dad he went back to her room. Jack had been shocked when he heard about the accident and had promised to come right away but it was still a long drive.

When Alex entered the room he found Claire sleeping so he just sat down next to her held her hand realizing she had taken her wedding ring off. 'Maybe she had to take it off for the examination…' he thought and rested his head on her bed. After their almost sleepless night he was tired as well and it didn't take long until he was sound asleep…

That was the way Jack found them when he arrived at the hospital 3 ½ hours later. Silently he walked in and first woke Alex up who said "Just 5 more minutes and I'm right there…" until he realized he was not at home. "Oh, Mr McLeod, you're here…"

"Hello Alex, how is she?"

"She'll be alright…" was all Alex could say because he remembered his promise to Claire not to say anything about the baby or their marriage.

By this time Claire had woken up from all the talking in her room and when she saw her father she started crying. "Dad…" she sobbed and Jack went over to her and took her in his arms.

"Are you all right sweetheart?" he asked "What happened?" In the strong arms of her father Claire calmed down enough to talk.

"I don't know what happened really, Lightning slipped and I got under him…I don't know…Dad, can you take me home?"

"Sure I will darling. As soon as the docs let you out of here…"

"I only have some bruises and a concussion…"Claire didn't want him to know about the miscarriage. She had told her doctor not to tell anybody. The baby wasn't there anymore and since nobody had known about it in the first place they sure didn't need to know about it now that it was gone…

Alex had slipped out of the room. He felt useless and redundant now that Jack was there and he feared that the truth might slip out of him if he stayed with Claire any longer. Why didn't she want to tell anybody about their marriage?

The doctors kept Claire at the hospital for another 2 days, then Jack was allowed to take her home. Poor Alex felt like he was put in a corner all this time. Since Claire didn't want to tell anybody about their marriage and he had promised not to say anything he could hardly ever see her. And it even got worse after Claire was home. She stayed in her room for most of the next week and wouldn't even come to the phone when he called…

Claire knew she wasn't treating Alex right but she couldn't help it. She felt so guilty about losing the baby. It was all her fault. She knew she shouldn't have done that rodeo being pregnant but she had wanted it so badly because she had known it would have been her last one. And now she killed her unborn child. And worst of all she had trapped Alex into this marriage. She needed to end this as soon as possible…