A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay in this chapter. It's been too long. I have recently been having a lot of medical issues and hospital stays, and extra hours at work to pay for said hospital visits have consumed all of my time. I have finally gotten around to getting back to my fic and am already starting Chapter 16. This chapter is a little longer than the other ones, I hope you enjoy! Please review and let me know if you like it.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, but I could have Haru. . . Mmm, yah, that'd be nice. A pet Haru to play with in my down time. Yummy.

Chapter 15: Self-Depreciation

We sat there in silence. The air continuing to thicken as the tension grew tighter and tighter, heavier and heavier, until it was so smothering, I thought that there was no way I could keep on breathing. This was a ploy Akito executed often, and I had become so accustomed to it before now, that it rarely worked on me. This certain situation however, had me aching in anxiousness. Whether there were ravings or beatings or taunting to ensue, I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to be out of this room, away from Akito, away from him. He sat there his eyes not meeting mine, whenever I chanced to glance up at him. I couldn't tell if it was from shame or justification. Satisfaction to cause me as much hurt as I had caused him. Betrayal was something that has always been my greatest fear. That was why I understood how hopeless the entire thing was. I had betrayed my love. It only made sense that he had confessed everything to Akito. Sting where it hurt the most.

"Certain occurrences have been brought to my attention, Hatsuharu, and I have to tell you, they do not please me at all. To think that someone in our family could behave such as you have is appalling. You know full well what kind of standing we have in this society and to bring attention to our family, I believe I do not need to explain the problems this could cause."

I was attempting, and failing, to hide the fact that I was shaking from head to foot. If only he weren't here watching. If only he wouldn't witness this. If only I could explain everything to him. This isn't how I wanted our first meeting since the episode to go.

"However, I'm a bit hazy on the details." Here his voice strained and Yuki clenched his fist, and though his eyes had been fixed on the floor in front of him, he turned his head to the side. So he hadn't told Akito. I turned my eyes toward him, questioningly. Why would he refrain from the opportunity to expose me? It is known procedure to not speak unless spoken to, and to leave a question unanswered was punishable in the worst ways.

"Your affections have not been a well-kept secret for a very long time now. The object of those," he sneered, "feelings was protected from what they could cause. You chose to take actions to undo all of that protection I so dutifully and carefully provided."

He rose and started to walk toward me very deliberately slow. Letting me know that with every footstep, my doom grew just a little more and a little closer.

"Not only this, but you have caused several of the other members of this family to go out of their way to cater to your every need these past weeks, leaving those who were in much greater need." Of course, he meant himself. "To call away a sick man's doctor to pick up a moody teen is abominable and selfish behavior. Your grades are slowly declining, and your teachers have reported that you are constantly daydreaming and your attention is, to say the least, lacking. They have started asking questions about how your home life is. To bring that kind of attention to the family puts us all in in an extreme amount of danger. Can you even begin to grasp what being discovered would do to this family!"

He was shouting now. It always got worse when he shouted. Even if he was shouting about something that was perfectly logical, he sounded absolutely insane. He had, of course, reached me by this time and just had continued to glare down at me, showing his superiority, his power. He leaned down, taking my chin into his delicately long fingers, grasping it with surprising strength. That something so frail could be that strong was just scary. When he spoke again, he had closed up again and his voice was just barely above a whisper.

"But the very worst act that you have performed in these last weeks was to touch something that was clearly not yours. Now, we've had discussions about the consequences of those actions before. I believe that I have given you too many warnings, been too lenient. The fact that you continue to disregard my word, which is law, shows not only your disrespect, but also your inability to follow simple directions. Therefore, you must deal with the consequences of your actions." He continued to be indifferent to Yuki's presence in the room. He stood up, and entwining his fingers into my hair, pulled me to the front of the room where he laid down. In order to keep up with him, I had to do an awkward combination of crawling and balancing on my knees. He took his previous spot at the front of the room, and kept a hold of my hair, so that when he was declined, I was bowing, my nose almost touching the floor.

"Now, I will ask you once and only once to explain yourself. You should choose your words wisely, because I do not need to elaborate on how thin the ice is upon which you step."

His questioning gaze penetrating me, violating me. And I say the only thing that I have left to say. The only option that is available.

"It was my fault, everything was. As you said before, my affections had been known for a long time, and repressed as they were, it was only a matter of time that they surfaced. So, I . . . I forced myself onto him. I held him down and forced him to kiss me. But he put up a struggle, and managed to hit me in the face, and then ran away. I know that he wasn't mine; I knew that he couldn't ever be mine, but I stole that one moment away. I just had to. Afterwards, I told him that if he ever told anyone about it, that I would track him down and do so many more things, worse things to him that would put him through hell. I was grasping at straws. I knew that it would come to this. I accept fully the punishment of his not speaking. It comes upon my shoulders solely. But I do not regret what I did. I would do it again right here in this very r-"

That was all that I got out. The hand wound tightly in my hair lifted my head and the floor came up to meet me again and again. The room becoming nothing but a blur. And then, everything went black. Peaceful, comforting pain. Empty nothingness in which I could hide, if only for a little while.

Yes, another cliffie, I know you guys hate it, but that's what I do. You know how I love to make you squirm. BTW, feel free to email me at and let me know if you have any questions or just want to discuss my fic, or Fruba in general. Thanks for reading!