Title: Be There To Love Me
Summary: The first time I saw my husband was on our wedding day. The first time we touched was when his lips met mine in a soulless, cold, life-binding kiss. The first time he spoke to me he told me I annoyed him. The first time I felt alive was when he said he loved me. AU SasuSaku
Disclaimer: Nope. Naruto still doesn't belong to me. I'm saving my allowance though!
Author's Notes: Yup, I decided to update. With so many awesome readers, how could I not? Thanks for reading guys! Hope you enjoy!
Inspiration music: Red Hot Chili Peppers "Dani California" (Don't ask...) - Limp Bizkit "Build a Bridge" - Any song by The Fray (gotta love 'em)
Be There To Love Me
Chapter One
x
I couldn't sleep that night and so I took to exploring my new home. Most people had sense enough to be in bed at this hour, but I didn't even want to think about sleeping. The only thing that would come from sleep were unwanted nightmares and the sick and twisted feeling in my stomach that, as of now, my life had ceased to exist.
But as I said, now was not the time for such thoughts. Now was the time for me to find out exactly how big this ancient complex was and exactly how many escape routes it could give me.
And so I started my adventure. I came to realize earlier that the place I was now living, the Hokage Palace, was not just one large building. In fact, the palace was made up of three almost entirely separate sections.
The first was the main section, where the Central Garden, Courtyard and Hokage's Council's room and board were located. Past the Gardens, across a large open air walkway, loomed the main building, where the Hokage himself lived. It was quite a sight to behold.
The other two sections were kept separate from the hustle and bustle of the Hokage's dealings because access to each was limited to one walkway. Once one passed the rear courtyard (which was directly in front of the main building) two large pathways branched to the left and right. I was yet to find out what the pathway to the left concealed, but the pathway to the right led to the Uchiha Section.
I quite liked the layout, because the busy atmosphere of the main section was chaotic and noisy. The Uchiha Section allowed for a separate existence. The only problem was that no Uchiha but Sasuke was around to enjoy it. I supposed his family was away, but the fact that they had missed their own son's wedding (arranged or not) made my jaw tighten. Until I remembered my own parents weren't with me either...
The rooms in the Uchiha Section were identical, to the point that each of the rugs (which were indeed alike) were placed exactly four feet, seven 1/2 inches from the east wall, and six feet, six 1/4 inches from the North wall. Each room had a separate bathhouse, one large futon, a changing area, and two pieces of art, each with the odd Uchiha family fan painted on them. It was bland, to say the least.
By the third room I explored I was already bored, by the sixth room I was ready to call in a decorator, and by the eighth room I finally realized what was missing. I had yet to see a portrait anywhere. They simply weren't here.
The fact that no portraits were to be found both interested and befuddled me. Uchiha Sasuke didn't seem like much of a personable guy, and the subject of family obviously bothered him, but this was insane. It was like this house was meant for one thing only: sleep.
As I thought on the subject, letting out a yawn as I did, I realized that that was more than likely the case. Someone as important, and exceedingly ill tempered, as Sasuke Uchiha would not be home as much as any normal person, and somehow I just couldn't picture him kicking back and relaxing in front of a roaring fire when he did have the option to be home. If the absent Uchihas were anything like their son, I presumed they must feel the same.
"Uchiha-kyou (1), have you lost your way?" I turned to see a young woman bowing in my direction. I frowned. I was an Uchiha now, wasn't I?
"No, I was simply exploring. Thank you, -" I cut off to wait for a name. She didn't move a muscle, so I sighed and continued. I was tired anyway. "Actually, I have. Would you mind showing me to my room?" Her head shook and she stood straight and turned on her heel. I followed.
The walk to my room - our room - was extremely long and quiet. I had somehow managed to wander to the opposite end of the Uchiha Section during my adventures. I cursed myself for doing so, because my feet were throbbing with each step I took. The zori I was wearing were the most uncomfortable pair I'd ever encountered. The girl bowed to me once again as we stopped.
"Here you are, Uchiha-kyou. Please alert me if you are in need of anything else, Uchiha-kyou." I smiled sweetly in her direction, but she wasn't aware because of her intent to stare at the rug below her. I sighed once again and whispered a thank you. She responded with, "My pleasure, Uchiha-kyou," and left.
And so I was alone to stare at the door of our bedroom. I truly was growing tired and wanted desperately to find a bed, but just not this bed. My husband was in this bed, after all. He may even be asleep by now. Best not to disturb him, correct? I shook my head, berating myself for being such a coward. I turned to leave. Our eyes met once again. My breath caught in my throat.
Uchiha Sasuke was standing a few inches before me, staring down at me with the eyes I knew I'd come to know very, very well. His onyx hair reminded me of something dark and cold, but he smelled of cinnamon, something I had always related to happy things. His jaw was firm, set and determined. He was handsome, but he was an enigma.
I was blushing; I could feel my face heating. He was staring at me; examining me. Did he think I was beautiful? Did he find me displeasing? Did he think I was an upstart? Did he want more of me? His eyes wouldn't tell me anything. I knew my eyes were telling him everything. I turned my head to the right a bit, casting my gaze to the floor as my blush continued to increase. He stepped past me and into our room without a word.
At the least I was confused. I was supposed to make this boy's life a living hell. I had promised myself I would. My mind wanted to, but my heart was beginning to play tricks on me. The tears came once again and my pace quickened. I didn't know where I was going and I really didn't care at the moment. I just wanted out.
I hated Uchiha Sasuke; but his hair, his eyes, everything about him made me crazy. I couldn't stand how he made me feel! My zori were off in seconds as I picked up my pace. My hair came cascading down from its bun, and as I rubbed the tears from my eyes smudges of black make-up streaked my sleeve.
And then came the time I couldn't run any longer. I found the nearest empty room I could and made my way to the futon. But I just had to catch my reflection in a mirror as I passed it.
My light pink hair fell across the sides of my face, all the way to the curves of my hips. (Oh, how I wished those curves were bigger.) My eyes were bright green and opened to my soul. (I wished I could close those emerald windows.) My lips were chapped; the lip paint fading quickly. (Why couldn't my lips be beautiful without paint?) My kimono, which had once hung beautifully on me, was now slipping down one of my all too skinny shoulders and I realized for the first time that the obi was becoming unpleasantly loose. I bit my lip and turned from the mirror, resisting the urge to throw something at it.
I was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.
x
---
x
Someone was in my bed when I awoke. I could feel a warm arm against my face and smell alcohol on the person's breath. I was out of bed faster than I'd ever been before and I felt sorry for the poor soul whose face my pillow bombarded. Of course, they were the one who had joined me in bed, so I figured they deserved at least that much. When they remained unmoving under the sheets, I stepped closer. They were snoring and I cringed when the alcoholic smell met my nose again. Whoever it was, they were out cold.
"Shikamaru, you know I'm not troublesome..." The lump purred. It was a woman.
That helped me to relax. At least I wasn't being unfaithful, although unconsciously so, on the first night of my marriage. The woman said something else and giggled. Obviously she was enjoying her drunken slumber.
I nudged her lightly and she rolled to face me. Her light blond hair was all over the place, and her lip paint was smeared, but I could tell she was very pretty. I nudged her once again and her eyes flickered open. They were teal.
She stared at me for a moment, smiling with contentment. I supposed it was some sort of reaction from her hangover, but the only time I'd ever dealt with something like that was when father came in late once, after a battle had gone wrong. I was eight then, and Mom had told me to hurry to bed the second he stumbled in. On that night, they fought for the first time I could remember.
"Who the hell are you?" I was snapped back to the present as the woman before me spoke. My eyes widened a bit. What had happened to drunken contentment?
"Well?" She continued, sitting up. My eyes diverted themselves to the floor and I could feel a blush creeping onto my face. The only article of clothing she had on was her lowest layer, and even that was beginning to slip in a few places. Needless to say, my view was unpleasant.
"Are you just gonna stand there?" she asked, raising an extremely thin eyebrow, "Or are you gonna tell me exactly what you're doing in my bed?"
"Haru-" I began. My words caught in my throat as I remembered that name no longer belonged to me, "Uchiha Sakura," I mumbled, glancing back in her direction. Lucky for me she'd readjusted her clothing.
Her eyes widened, her mouth shaping an 'O', "So you're Sasuke's bitch..." she smirked, "I've been wanting to meet you, although I hadn't expected to find you here of all places." She waved her finger, giving off a 'tch' sound, "Sleeping around on the first night you're married? How unfaithful!"
I chose to ignore the last bit as I stammered, "I-I'm not his bitch!"
My glare hardened as she winked at me, "Of course. You're just his wife."
How could someone have so much- so much gall! What had I even done to her? I'd known her for less than five minutes and she was already insulting me!
"Well, Uchiha Sakura, you still haven't answered my second question," she stated as she stood (How was someone so graceful?), "What are you doing in my bed?"
"I-I got lost," I mumbled, "I needed somewhere to sleep for the night." She headed for her changing screen, picking up a rather gorgeous purple kimono on her way.
"So, you got lost, huh?" She repeated, slipping behind the screen. "You know the Council would kill you if they found out you had slept apart from your husband."
I hadn't heard about this before, but somehow it didn't surprise me. This 'Council', who I had yet to even see anywhere, seemed like quite the traditional bunch. They reminded me of some kind of crime syndicate; always pulling strings behind the scenes and causing trouble wherever they decided to stick their noses.
My stomach rumbled noisily and I cringed. I never did have a chance to finish my dinner…
I had hoped Ino hadn't been able to hear my need for food, but as soon as she poked her head from behind the screen I knew there wasn't much a chance for that.
"If I were you, I'd feed that monster before it decides to eat you," she said with a laugh.
My head hung in embarrassment and I hurried to the door.
"The name's Ino, by the way," she called after me, "Come and find me sometime, if you're bored."
I bowed slightly and smiled in her direction as I slid the door shut. I felt better now; more cheerful. Maybe I would come find her sometime.
x
I did as Ino suggested and headed for the dining room to satisfy my stomach's hungry growling. Sasuke ate with me for quite some time. He didn't ask where I'd been all night; I didn't ask why he was such an ass, or why he was so damn irresistible.
x
After breakfast I decided to find Ino again. The lack of estrogen in my new life was killing me, and I decided that even she was better than nothing. It would be fun to try and piece together her odd personality anyway.
I found her in the gardens. She was lying off to the side in a patch of grass, a flower tucked behind her right ear and the clouds reflecting in her eyes. I thought it kind of odd to find her here; I had pictured her as someone in love with finding a new material item than someone who would sit back and watch the clouds.
She noticed me and I could see her demeanor brighten instantly, "So you didn't get enough of me last night, huh?" she asked rather loudly. I giggled; ignoring the odd looks cast to us from some of the other ladies that were taking their afternoon walks.
"I suppose not." I replied. Her sarcasm combined with her vivacious spirit was a surprising (and fully welcomed) antidote for my depression. Despite everything, I realized why I felt so much better than I had the night before. Being around her just kind of...made me happy.
"So, how did someone like you manage to land Uchiha Sasuke?" She asked, her eyes back on the sky. I could tell this question didn't come from simple curiosity. Something in her voice told me she was completely serious; maybe even a little jealous.
I shrugged and took a seat on a bench behind her; grass just wasn't my thing. "I didn't manage anything. Our council decided it," I explained. She sat up and turned toward me, running a few delicate fingers through her hair. "It just kind of... happened."
"The Fire Country needed your medical supplies, right?"
She was correct and I was surprised. "How'd you know?"
She winked, which I assumed was a sort of trade mark for her, and replied matter-of-factly, "My grandfather is a member of the Council. I know everything."
The thought sent a tremor of fear down my spine for some reason, but I couldn't help but ask if she knew anything about a war brewing. My mother had mentioned something about it before I left, but I'd never managed to get any details.
"My grandfather says war is brewing between our country and the Wind Country," she explained, "Relations between the Sand and Konoha are teetering on the edge of full blown combat and the only reason we're not dead is because the Third is keeping their Kazekage under check," she paused for a moment, "And I guess that's why your medical supplies are so important. Y'know, just in case worse comes to worse."
I had mixed emotions about this news. My marriage to Uchiha Sasuke was giving my country much needed protection, while the Fire Country was receiving medical supplies for a war that was most certainly going to happen (or so I thought). It was a win-win situation, except when it came to Sasuke and me.
I was shaken from my thoughts as Ino stood and brushed herself off, "Enough about this, Forehead-chan. Take a walk with me?" she asked with a smile.
I didn't appreciate being called 'Forehead-chan' (I was already well aware of my overly large forehead) but her intentions seemed nice enough, I was due for a break from such uncomfortable thoughts, and I was most definitely in no position to pass up a friend. I answered 'yes', she took me by the arm, and we were off.
As noon came and went, I learned more about Ino Yamanaka than I'd ever learned about another individual before, family not included of course. If I thought I was an upstart, all I had to do was give the highly self-assured Ino one glance and I was suddenly a quiet, soft-spoken nobody. The truth is, every time I looked at her I saw something I wanted. I was jealous.
As we passed through the main building, I caught the sound of something very interesting. It sounded almost like cheering. "Ino-san, what is that? " I asked.
The blond frowned, "More than likely some kind of demonstration," she replied, "It's nothing that would interest you." I couldn't catch the last bit of what she said because another wave of cheering had broken out.
"What kind of demonstration?" I asked once the cheering had died down.
Ino rolled her eyes and sighed, "Some sort of fighting thing. It's a huge deal to men, but women aren't allowed. It's not very interesting anyway."
Oh, believe me, I was interested, "Can't we just go and see?" I pleaded, "I've never seen a fighting demonstration before." That was a lie, but it was pitiful, especially when combined with the nice pout I had playing across my face.
Ino huffed, "Fine, just promise me never again, alright?" she answered while tugging me toward the source of the noise.
The source was much larger than I had imagined. The entire central courtyard of the palace was filled with men from all walks of life. Above the courtyard, on the many steps and porches surrounding it, officials, nobles and even the Sandaime Hokage sat and observed.
I caught a glimpse of Sasuke amongst them, a blond haired man trailing behind him, but he disappeared as quickly as he had come.
Ino led me to a nice viewing point to the right and I watched as two men came to the center of the crowd. We were too far away to hear what either was saying, but as they drew their katanas the entire courtyard went quiet and I could just catch, "...thousands of years. Not a fight, but tradition!"
The two men began to circle each other, taking a step forward every once in awhile to test reaction time. One would step forward; the other would raise his weapon. One would test his katana's balance; the other would survey his surroundings. It was like an odd sort of dance.
Ino was clearly getting bored, but as I watched the tallest man jump toward the other, katana ready for the first swing, I held my breath with the rest of the audience. The weapons clashed and I breathed again, amazed to see that each fighter had already parried, dodged, and moved in for another attack. They resembled hummingbirds, the way they moved.
"Why aren't women allowed?" I ventured when I could stand to take my full attention away from the amazing display. Ino looked at me as if I were insane.
"Well, it's completely barbaric for starters!" she exclaimed, "The only reason this 'art' was ever invented was because the Kages of that time were getting bored with the usual execution methods. People dare to call this tradition when it was the reason why entire clans were wiped out! It's terrible!"
I looked back toward the fighters. They didn't look like they were trying to kill anyone. It was graceful, if anything.
"Could women ever try to learn?" I asked as the thought suddenly struck me, "Have women ever tried?"
Ino gave me a funny look before answering, "Only two women, that my grandfather knows of, have ever even starting training. Why?"
Ignoring her question I quickly asked, "Which two women?"
She hesitated a moment, "I'm not sure of their names, but the eldest is a lady from one of the western provinces. The other is her apprentice." She gave me a stern look, obviously trying to decipher my need for information on this certain subject. She continued more carefully, "My view is that a woman should never be allowed in such a thing. It's unnatural." I nodded, glancing back at the fight once more before she took my arm.
"Come on, forehead-chan, it's time we find some lunch." I turned reluctantly from the fight as blades clashed once more. Outwardly I tried to show as much disdain for the sport as Ino actually had. Inwardly, I sincerely hoped to meet this 'lady from the western provinces'.
x
I headed to my actual room that night. Ino had made it clear that the Council meant business with all this husband and wife stuff, and I was in no mood to argue with one of the most powerful groups that existed in the Fire Country.
Sasuke was already in bed when I entered. As I stared down at him, an odd and frightening sensation overcame me. Along with it, something Ino had told me earlier echoed through my head.
"You're a lucky woman, Sakura. I know plenty of girls who would give their very souls to be able to wake up with Uchiha next to them."
I frowned. Uchiha my ass! I'd take the floor!
x
x
I figured you guys would want some translations, neh?
(1) Kyou - A suffix meaning 'Lady'
Author's Notes: You readers are totally awesome! I hope you enjoyed the first real chapter of 'Be There To Love Me'! I'm not sure if the following chapters will be as long, but who's to know? I was going for something half this size. xD Also, it might seem kind of boring right now, but don't worry. It'll get better. Right now it's all about exploring the emotions fueling each character and laying the foundation. It's an angsty fic., but I've got some yummy fluffiness planned! n.n
Also, I'm in search of someone who might be interested in being my Beta Reader for this story. -gets on hands an knees- Please! My knowledge of the English language is smaller than that of a cat's! Contact me through your review or, uh, your review if you're interested! n.n;