just want to say thank you again to Prehistoric Cat for the support and encouragement :)
"Connor will come round," Matt said, resting his hand on Abby's shoulder. "Once he's had chance to think about everything, he'll realise that what you did was necessary."
She shook her head. Connor would never forgive her for this. They'd both kept secrets from each over the last few months, something they'd promised they'd never do. "I might be able to salvage a friendship from all of this," she said quietly. "Enough for us to be able to work side by side at the ARC, but anything else..."
"Isn't that what you wanted? You and Connor would've split up weeks ago if it wasn't for the fact you were spying on him."
"I may have fallen out of love with him, but he still means a lot to me. I'd probably have been killed in the Cretaceous if it wasn't for him." She dipped her head and buried her head in her hands. "My head's all over the place at the moment, Matt. I don't know what to think."
She shrugged Matt's hand away and he stood up. "I'll give you some space. I need to start working on my reports about today."
"Good luck with that," Abby looked up and managed to raise a smile. "Where do you even start?"
"I have no idea. I might do the Kings Cross report first, that's pretty straight forward in comparison." Matt began to make his way to the door.
"Matt. Just so you know. I'm not angry with you any more. It must have been damn hard keeping all of that a secret from people you were getting close to, and I'm sorry I gave you a hard time."
He just simply nodded and left, closing the door behind him and leaving Abby alone with her thoughts. She supposed that she should be going home, but that would mean facing Connor. As soon as the anomaly at Kings Cross had been dealt with, he'd slunk off alone. She knew he'd be feeling thoroughly ashamed about his part in what could very nearly have caused an apocalypse. In time, he'd realise that no-one actually blamed him, he'd simply been taken in by Burton's charms and the promise of being respected as a scientist. He'd also realise that he'd already got the respect of the team and had nothing to prove.
After taking a long detour home via the supermarket for food she didn't really need, Abby finally climbed the stairs up to the flat she shared with Connor. Of late, it had become a lonely place and not the cosy home that she and Connor had planned it to be. His jacket was on the hook by the main door and his boots placed beneath, which meant he was home. Abby prepared herself, not sure what she was going to say to him.
She found him in the bedroom, rucksack open and partially filled with clothes. "Where are you going?" She asked softly, leaning against the door frame.
"Thought I'd head home. To Blackburn I mean. It's just for a couple of weeks to give everyone time to think. I'll take as much of my stuff as I can, you can put the rest into boxes whilst I'm away and I'll pick it up when I've found somewhere else to live."
"You don't have to move out, Connor."
"One of us should."
"So this is it then? Not even a second chance or trying to make it work again?" She sat down on the bed beside the bag, already knowing the answer.
"Is there any point? See, I'm not the only one that kept things secret in this relationship am I? We both promised so much to each other when we were in the Cretaceous, and it all meant nothing when we came back."
"I wouldn't say that. Connor, you meant everything to me... and that's why I had to do what I did. You wouldn't listen to my concerns about Burton, I had to do something."
"Did you know about Matt then? Where he's from and why he's here?"
Abby nodded. "I sort of guessed that he wasn't from this time, and when I confronted him with my suspicions, he told me everything. He asked me to help him, he wanted me to spy on you. I couldn't do it at first, and I thought if I could persuade you that Burton was..."
"Yeah. You and Matt seemed to get pretty close after Emily left. Did he you give his 'man from the future' line before or after he took you to his bed?"
"It wasn't like that, Connor!"
"Really?" Connor sighed and sat beside her. "I neglected you, I dismissed your concerns... I wouldn't blame you if you turned to another man."
Abby decided that it was time she told the truth, there'd been enough lies and keeping things secret. "I did sleep with Matt; a couple of times actually." She saw Connor's heart break in that instant and she reached for his hand. "But it wasn't whilst I was with you. It was a long time ago, before the Cretaceous..."
It took a moment for what she'd just to said to register with Connor, then he looked confused. "You knew Matt before?"
"He's been watching anomalies for years, Connor, trying to find out who was showing more than just a passing interest in them. At that point, he had no idea who he was actually looking for. When we showed up at the Forest of Dean, he realised we were the first potential lead he had and he followed us. He told me he'd tried to get into the University to speak to you, Cutter and Stephen but couldn't get past security. So, he came to the zoo... and I fell for the Irish accent and the charm. Of course, he never actually told me he knew about the anomalies. I just thought his interest in me was..." She felt her cheeks burning and stopped.
"He was one of those one night stands you told me about?" Connor sniffed. "You said you slept with men to make yourself feel good and then left in the middle of the night feeling worse than before. Wait.. you said you'd slept with him a couple of times?" He closed his eyes and then it dawned on him. "Matt was the one that contacted you after Cutter died, wasn't he? The one you said you'd thought about maybe having a proper relationship with?"
Abby just nodded.
"And do you want to be with him now?"
"I don't know. Perhaps you're right about needing a couple of weeks away to get our heads around stuff."
Connor stood up and continued to put things into his bag, watched by Abby for a few minutes. "Are you going tonight?"
"No point in hanging around is there? I'll be out of your hair in an hour or so. I'll drive for a couple of hours and find a hotel, then carry on to Blackburn in the morning."
Abby left the bedroom and tried to settle in the living room, flicking through the TV magazine. Then she went to the kitchen to make a drink. This was wrong. She couldn't just hang around waiting for Connor to go. In fact, she didn't want to be here at all when he left. Whilst she accepted their relationship was over, that actual moment when he walked out would be too much. Grabbing her jacket, she left quietly and got in her car.
Her head was all over the place, and before she realised it, she had driven across town and had no idea where she was. She pulled over to the side of the road and rummaged in the glovebox, hoping to find the SatNav. Fortunately, it was there and sprang into life when she pressed the 'on' button. Abby wasn't entirely sure how to work it; she usually left the gadgets to Connor. The map of her current location flashed up, though it gave no real clues to where she was.
"Come on, Abby, how difficult can it be?" She pressed another couple of buttons and the screen read 'Calculating route'. Then it gave her an estimated time of 15 minutes to an address in North West London, one she recognised. The last time the SatNav was used, she and Connor were going to Matt's for New Year's eve. Maybe it was some kind of sign? At least if she could get to Matt's, she would have a better idea of where she was and find her way home again. He was probably still at the ARC anyway, trying to piece together his report.
Some minutes later, the SatNav told her that she had reached her destination. The apartment block where Matt lived was straight in front of her and some of the flats were in darkness. She glanced along- third floor, fifth window from the left. The light was on. Either Matt was home or his lighting was on an automatic timer. Something told her that he was home and that she should at least go and say hello. It was better than heading home and possibly still finding Connor there.
Buzzer 3/10 was Matt's. She waited for him to answer but it seemed to be taking an age, then there was a crackle and the sound of his voice, "Hello?"
"Matt, it's Abby. Can I come up?"
There was a buzzing noise which meant Matt had released the lock and she was able to go inside. As she ascended the stairs, she felt a stirring inside, a feeling of familiarity and excitement, memories of previous visits here. He was waiting for her at his door, a nervous smile on his face.
"I'm surprised to see you."
"Connor's packing, getting ready to leave. I couldn't face being around when he went. I'm not entirely sure how I ended up here. If you don't want..."
"Come inside, Abby."
She entered and glanced around, remembering the last time she'd been here alone with him, how he'd tried to get her to stay after she'd spent the night. It was a thought she had to push to the back of her mind.
"Does Connor have somewhere to go?" Matt asked.
"He's heading home up north for a couple of weeks. He has family there still, a cousin I think."
"That's good. A bit of personal time might help him." Matt motioned for Abby to sit down. "Have you eaten? I was going to order a pizza in a while ago, but I lost track of time doing my report." His laptop was open on the table.
"I've not eaten, no. Maybe I could throw something together whilst you work? How's the report going?"
Matt sighed. "It's not. See, I don't know how much needs to be in it. Lester did say that we wouldn't tell the Minister about me... but I'm tired of all the lies, and I couldn't expect everyone on the team to keep my secret either."
"Then just... tell it as it was. Let Lester decide what'll be put on official record and what won't. It's not for you to decide in the end."
"I know." He sat down in front of the laptop and frowned, his mind focussed on the screen in front of him. Abby stroked his shoulder, then went into the kitchen area to see what she could put together for them to eat.
Abby wondered how on earth Matt managed to stay so healthy. His cupboards were practically bare and there were none of the staple items she relied upon in her own cooking. She found half a packet of dried pasta, though quite how long it had been there she didn't dare think about. She remembered passing a petrol station not that far from Matt's that looked like it had a small shop attached to it. At least it would be better than old pasta served with tomato ketchup.
"I'm going to get us something to eat," she said.
Matt didn't look up or away from the computer screen, but pointed to the worktop to Abby's left. "Take the keycard for the main door. You'll be able to get straight back in without needing to use the buzzer."
As she walked up and down the aisles of the shop, Abby smiled and shook her head. Was it all men that completely failed at taking proper care of themselves, or just the ones she knew? This reminded her of the time she'd gone away for the week to a friend's wedding and had left Connor to fend for himself. She'd returned to empty cupboards and a bin full of takeaway cartons. Then she frowned and chastised herself for even comparing Matt and Connor, the two were in completely different leagues. At least Matt had an excuse for neglecting his weekly shopping lately, and the current state of his cupboards was probably not reflective of his usual arrangements. In fact, she did recall that he'd thrown together a pretty decent meal that evening...
A large can of soup, a loaf of bread and some cheese were in Abby's basket by the time she got to the checkout, and she grabbed a couple of bars of chocolate to add to it as she paid. It wasn't much, but sometimes a warm bowl of soup and a toasted cheese sandwich was enough to ease any troubles, if only for a few minutes. Matt had looked wary and stressed. If she could drag him away from the computer for half an hour to relax and eat, she was certain he'd find his report easier.
As she climbed the stairs back up to Matt's flat, her stomach growled and she realised just how hungry she was too. A pang of guilt hit her when she thought about Connor. She'd not thought to ask him if he'd eaten and she supposed he probably hadn't, given how quickly the day's events had unfolded. Was he already on his way to Blackburn and would he think to actually stop for food? Then she reached Matt's door and the thought passed. She had to stop feeling responsible for Connor and let him stand on his own two feet now.
Matt was slumped over the table beside his laptop. Concerned, Abby went over to him and gently touched his cheek. He'd simply fallen asleep, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He looked so peaceful and it seemed a shame to disturb him, but she also knew that she couldn't leave him to sleep like that.
"Matt?" she said softly, touching his shoulder. His eyes fluttered and he groaned in protest. "Matt? Come on, let's get you to bed eh?"
For a moment, Matt seemed a little confused, then he sat up. "I need to finish the report."
"No you don't," Abby said firmly, clicking 'save' on the document he'd been typing and shutting the laptop down. "If you don't get some sleep, you'll be no use to anyone." Reluctantly, Matt stood up and Abby gave him a push in the direction of his bedroom. She followed him inside and watched him slump onto the bed, finally giving in. After taking his shoes off, she then tried to move him so that he laid on the bed properly and lifted the duvet to cover him.
"Are you trying to seduce me, Abby Maitland?"
Abby giggled. "If this is your idea of seduction..."
"It's not, but you already know that."
Abby sighed, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart in her chest. It was the first reference Matt had made to their previous relationship in a long time. "Get some sleep. You'll feel so much better in the morning." She turned to leave, but Matt grasped her arm.
"Stay. Please?"
"I'm not sure that would be such a good idea, Matt."
"We don't have to pretend any more. Life's too short, Abby."
"I said I wasn't angry with you," Abby said, pulling away from his grasp. "I didn't say I wanted to jump back into your bed. Besides, how would it look if I spent the night with you when Connor's not even been gone 12 hours?"
"Since when did you care about what other people thought?"
"I don't care what people think of me, but I do care what they think about those I care about."
There was a moment of silence, then Abby stood up and walked to the door. "Connor's not the only one that needs a bit of breathing space," she said.
"I understand. But, when things have settled... Would you consider letting me at least take you out?"
"Goodnight, Matt." She couldn't help smiling, and as she closed the bedroom door behind her she half wondered if she was doing the right thing by walking away now. Part of her thought it would be nice to just curl up in bed with him and be held. She wasn't looking for sex, although that too would be nice, just comfort and security. Would she find that with Matt eventually once she'd got her head around everything that had happened? She sighed and made her way out of the flat, switching off the lights and hoping things would settle down enough for them all to have clear enough minds to make the right decisions.