A/N I admit it! I watched The Scarlet Pimpernel last night! (Jane Seymour version.) If anyone finds themselves a tad bit confused in the opening paragraphs, that would be why. If you haven't seen the movie, go watch it. It's marvelous.

Disclaimer Thank you Batman, and thank you Perry Mason.

Chapter Two

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Colloquial Proverb

Dick flourished his hand in the air. "Sink me, if it isn't time for the old chin-ups," he declared in what he fondly believed to be a British accent.

Bruce massaged his temples. I definitely did not get enough sleep last night. "What was that?"

Dick, alias Sir Percy Blakeney, elucidated, "Up, up with the old chin. You know, that sort of pullin' thing we do every day?"

Bruce pointed an accusing finger. "Alfred's been showing you those cultured movies again."

"It was Master Alfred's idea," Dick conceded haughtily. "But it had a wicked swordfight in it." In his own disgusted voice he added, "But too much kissing. And I didn't understand why they kept talking about a dolphin."

Alfred had entered the gym just in time to overhear Dick's last remark. "I believe you are referring to the dauphin, Master Dick, which is what the French used to call their crown prince. When they had one." Alfred shook his head reprovingly. "Ghastly state of affairs across the Channel." After a moment of silent mourning for the French monarchy, he continued, "Master Wayne, Mr. Fox is in the library. He wishes to speak with you on a matter of some importance."

Bruce nodded. "Give me ten minutes to shower and I'll be right with him."

"I beg your pardon, sir, but he seemed to indicate that it was urgent."

Bruce quirked an eyebrow. "You're saying I should skip the shower?"

A pained expression crossed the butler's face. "Yes."

"It must be urgent." Turning to Dick, Bruce assumed his own phony accent. "Right then, old chap. Carry on until you're finished, then stop."

"Sink me," Dick declared, and pulled himself onto the bar.

Bruce followed Alfred to the library where Lucius Fox stood waiting. "Mr. Fox. I apologize for my informal appearance, but Alfred said it was important?"

Fox shook the proffered hand. "I'm afraid it is. A problem has come up with the boy's custody."

Alfred shut the door and came forward as Bruce's smile faded. "Go on."

Fox sighed. "There's no easy way to say this. It has been suggested that you are not a fit guardian for the boy. Social services is considering removing him from your custody."

"What?" Bruce demanded in disbelief. "What do they mean I'm not a fit guardian?"

"You are suspected of burning down your own house last spring," Fox reluctantly pointed out.

Bruce raked his hand through his hair. "But why now? Dick's been living here for months."

Fox folded his arms. "Oh, somebody filed an anonymous complaint. But I'm guessing it won't be too hard to trace the source."

Bruce's jaw tightened. "Earle."

Fox nodded. "Apparently suing the company for unmerited dismissal isn't enough for him."

"So what do we do?"

"The first thing you have to do is get down to Gotham courthouse by two o'clock. There's an informal hearing to decide whether the boy should be immediately removed from your custody."

Bruce glanced at the clock. "But that's less than an hour!"

"And they're not going to wait for you either," Fox warned. "I'll have an attorney ready for you. You can look this over on the way to the courthouse."

Bruce snatched the folder. "I'll look it over right now."

"After you shower, if you please, sir," Alfred said, firmly taking possession of the file. Bruce threw him an exasperated look and ran for the stairs.

The clock of Gotham First Trust Bank read one fifty-five when the car stopped in front of the courthouse. Bruce ran up the cracked marble steps and found Fox and a middle-aged man in a grey suit waiting for him.

"Mr. Wayne, this is Mr. Bennett."

The two men shook hands. "Mr. Bennett, thank you for coming on such short notice."

"I'll be frank with you, Mr. Wayne," Bennett said as they walked rapidly down the corridor. "It doesn't look good. Maybe, if they'd given us time…" He shook his head. "The best advice I can give you is to keep your mouth shut unless directly addressed."

The visible opposition consisted of three: silver-haired Henry Judas, head of Gotham social services, Amanda Waters, their acting counsel, and a frumpy, dark woman that Judas introduced simply as "My colleague, Miss Somerville."

At least we're evenly matched, Bruce thought humorlessly as he, Fox, and Bennett took their seats on the opposite side of the round table.

Everyone stood as Justice Martin Farr entered the room (not in robes, but ordinary business attire). His grandfatherly appearance gave Bruce a spark of hope that just maybe, the judge would listen to both sides of the story. Not that Bruce Wayne has a side worth listening to.

Ms. Waters opened. "Judge Farr, this case was called to our attention yesterday, when a complaint was filed concerning a child named Richard Grayson. Richard has no known relatives, and, due to the circumstances explained in the petition, he is the legal responsibility of Wayne Enterprises. Recently, a move was made by the company's lawyers to transfer guardianship to the company's owner, Mr. Bruce Wayne. We, however, do not believe that Mr. Wayne is a fit guardian for the boy, and we ask that Richard Grayson be removed from Mr. Wayne's home, at least until a full investigation can be made."

Farr nodded. "Mr. Bennett? What is your response to Ms. Waters' statement?"

"I would like to know on what grounds Ms. Waters claims that Mr. Wayne is an unfit guardian. I would also ask, why is this matter being addressed only now, when Richard Grayson has been under the care of Mr. Wayne for the past four months?"

"An excellent question," the judge agreed. "Ms. Waters?"

"I…" She hesitated, glancing at Judas.

"Our office is overrun," the silver-headed man said frankly. "We are understaffed and under-funded. In the case of Richard Grayson, the child was not a ward of the state. We were unaware of the situation until it was brought to our attention. The point now is that the complaint was made and we believe it has validity."

Waters spoke again. "As for our allegations against Mr. Wayne, our petition cites numerous instances which show that Mr. Wayne not only leads a reckless and irresponsible lifestyle, but that his emotional instability can at times pose a threat not only to himself, but also to others."

"But you cannot bring forward any instance where Mr. Wayne has actually hurt anyone," Bennett argued. "On the contrary, Richard Grayson has done nothing but benefit from his stay at Wayne Manor."

Waters cleared her throat. "Judge Farr, we do not contend that any harm has come to the boy under the guardianship of Mr. Wayne. What we wish to do is prevent any such harm from occurring. As for Mr. Wayne's never having put anyone in harm's way, I think the members of the fire department who dealt with the blaze at Wayne Manor last spring would disagree."

Ra's would call this the balancing of justice. Up to this point, Bruce had maintained outward control, but with the pointed jibe about the destruction of his ancestral home, his hands clenched and the pen he'd been toying with cracked. Ink seeped from the mutilated pen onto his fingers, and he unobtrusively slipped his hands beneath the table and pulled out his handkerchief, half listening to Bennett protest that the allegations had never been proved, and that the insurance company had paid in full. Not that it made any difference to the collective mind of Gotham. Bruce gingerly inserted the linen wrapped mess into his pocket and looked up to find the silent woman …What was her name?... watching him intently. He coolly returned her stare and saw a muscle twitch in her cheek before she looked away.

Bennett was concluding, "I would ask you to keep in mind the disastrous results of the last placement Richard Grayson was given by social services at the request of Wayne Enterprises' legal counsel. In light of that trauma, and the grief of his mother's sudden death, I would ask you to consider what damage uprooting the boy would do, particularly as we begin a season where family is considered important." Bennett folded his hands his front of him, wearing the resigned air of a man who realizes that his best has not been enough.

"Mr. Wayne, do you have anything to add to your counsel's remarks?"

Bruce transferred his gaze from his ink stained fingers to the judge's face. Any resemblance to a benign grandfather had disappeared behind a stern and disapproving expression. Billionaire playboy strikes again. Aloud he said, "If your decision is to remove the boy from my custody, then I would ask that he be placed in the care of District Attorney Rachel Dawes. Richard has known Miss Dawes for some time, and she has expressed the desire to care for the boy should the need arise."

Farr nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Wayne, I will keep your recommendation in mind. Does the opposing counsel have any final remarks?"

Waters glanced at Judas, who turned to the other woman. She nodded slightly.

"Obviously the needs of the child are most important here," Judas began. "Therefore, considering that Richard has apparently flourished under the care of Mr. Wayne, and remembering the season, we are willing to offer a compromise. I suggest that a member of the social services be allowed to live at Wayne Manor for a period of two weeks. This person is to be given full access to the house, the boy, and any other persons or places considered pertinent. If at the end of this time, our investigator sees no cause for concern, then we would be willing to drop the matter without a formal hearing."

"An unorthodox but generous offer, Mr. Judas, considering your lack of staff. Do you have someone immediately available for the task?" Farr asked.

"Yes, Miss Somerville recently transferred to our office and does not yet have a regular rotation of duties. She has agreed to the arrangement."

"What do you have to say to this, Mr. Wayne?"

"I…" Bruce hesitated, glancing at Bennett. "The offer is completely unexpected. Could I have a few minutes to confer with my counsel?"

Farr nodded. "Of course. We will resume in ten minutes."

Out in the hall Bennett urged, "Take it, Mr. Wayne. If you can convince Henry Judas to let it rest, you'll save yourself one incredibly messy battle. The board of Wayne Enterprises would also appreciate that."

"I'm sure," Bruce muttered, scowling. "What about you, Mr. Bennett? Do you think I should be allowed to retain custody?"

Bennett shrugged. "My opinion isn't important. As your lawyer, I fight in your corner. And I'm telling you this is the best chance you've got. If this gets into the papers, public opinion could go either way."

"Poor, helpless child in clutches of psychotic billionaire?"

"Something like that."

"What exactly is this woman going to do?" Bruce demanded.

"Interrogate the servants, count the silver, inventory your underwear…Who cares? For what it's worth, Henry Judas has a reputation for being a good guy. If you play by his rules, he'll give you a fair shot. But turn down his offer and they'll wonder what you've got to hide. You could lose the boy and your personal reputation."

Bruce winced. "Yeah." He shook his head. "But I don't understand why. If Judas is as understaffed as he claims, why is he willing to let an able-bodied worker out of the office for two weeks?"

Bennett shrugged again. "Like I said before, he's a good guy. Maybe he wants to make up for what happened to the boy before." He grinned. "But if you ask me, he's just wanting to shift that gal out of the office before she gets comfortable. She looks like a real pain in the…"

Bennett broke off as Fox approached. "We've got a minute left. What's it going to be?"

Bruce shrugged. "Looks like I'm going to have a houseguest. Mr. Bennett thinks it's the best decision."

Fox tossed him a covertly anxious look. "Could be a long two weeks."

"Who knows?" Bennett asked cheerfully. "Maybe all she wants is a vacation. Take her out on the town, let her drive one of your cars…"

Bruce threw up his hands in protest. "Please, let's be reasonable."

Bennett chuckled and opened the door to the conference room. "My client has made his decision."

To be continued…

Notes to Reviewers (in alphaBATical order):

CassandraD: Yup. The Great Gatsby it is. I read it for the first time this summer and enjoyed it. And I think you're totally right about it being an alias Ra's would come up with.

IcyWaters: I'm very glad you liked the Joker. I've never worked a villain quite like him before (although he's only one of many firsts for me in this story). And I think I understand what you meant about the scene in the car not going overboard. Minute detail isn't always necessary to get the point across.

JustCallMeEli: You think it's visually stimulating? swoons with happinessDescription is an area of writing that I struggle with, so it's great to hear that I must be improving!

Mysterious Jedi: If I had to name a center for the story, it would have to be Bruce. But don't worry, there will be lots and lots of Dick.

Ouatic-7: Yeah, I know it was gross. Little boys enjoy that sort of thing.

Starpossum: I like your name. It's cute and original. I'm glad you liked the Joker. Like I told IcyWaters, there's some influence from the first movie, but in a lot of ways I'm recreating him to suit my own purposes.

TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraith: I suppose you're right about the reason for the separate BB category. I still don't think it would hurt to have them all filed together, though. And yeah, Christian Bale in a Batsuit…sighs dreamily

TV Chick: How was your vacation? Mine's about over, school approacheth! (That's a good thing, though.) Glad you're liking the sequel!