By TeaFlower
The Disclaimer of CRAZYNESS: Ackers and Terra belong to me, but Pokemon doesn't. Can anyone guess what's gonna happen in THIS series? … that's right. FINAL FANTASY 7 DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! How long have I been planning this series? How long have I been plotting and tweaking? Did you know that in the original outline of the Chronicles, this was 2 episodes long and there WASN'T a Gengar or Fearful or Vines or Rai episode? Thought not. It was originally focused on Terra and Ackers. Before the fanfic even happened, it used to be all about Terra, who wasn't even CALLED Terra! It was nuts. It's amazing what just a little tweaking does to a story, right?
Episode 23: Planet… Planet?
Having crash landed on some desert island, Ackers looked around. There was nothing but sand. Sitting up, he sighed. "Where the frill AM I?" He floated up and noticed this weird little green thing. It blinked. Ackers whispered, "What the FRILL?" He used Shadow Ball on it. It blinked as the number 207 popped up. Ackers raised an eyebrow. The thing shot some needles at him. Luckily he dodged them Matrix style. ((The Matrix doesn't belong to me!)) He ran for his life.
Ackers ran all the way to the beach. He thought it was a dead end. That green cactus thing was after him. He needed to get away! Ackers looked in the water. He saw his reflection. Then he made a decision: he was going in that water. He dove in and started swimming north.
Terra awoke in a cold city with white trees, stone, and water. LOTS of water. Terra looked around. She was shivering and wanted to go home. But she knew that there was no way home until she found Ackers… and even then, a trip home wouldn't be exactly guaranteed.
Walking towards a giant coral-like structure, Terra noted that everything was water-based. Entering the structure, she saw a shell structure that looked like an Omastar. Running into the structure, she saw a fish blocking her path. Hopping over it, Terra descended a crystalline staircase into a beautiful stone-and-crystal city.
"… wow…" was all she could manage.
The sub was steadily moving forward, towards the port city, Junon. The pilot, a blonde, spiky haired man with glowing blue eyes, was on the look out for the EVIL underwater baddie, Emerald Weapon, or Emmie as he and his friends called it. His friends were monitoring the other things going on in the blue sub. One was a brunette in a tank top and a REALLY short skirt. She was watching radar. The other was a black haired man in a cape. He was watching the turbines.
Sometimes, they would switch. Not often, though, because the captain got motion sickness and puked all over the place. Another reason was because the brunette liked the blippy radar. And another reason was the caped man only had one arm. So things stayed the same.
Beep! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! The radar went off. The brunette jumped and said, "Captain! We're detecting a large object moving towards us from the south!"
The captain turned. "Tifa," he said, "One, you're taking this too seriously. Two, how big is it?"
The girl, named Tifa, said, "Sorry, Cloud. Just nervous. Anyway, it's about 6 feet long, almost 7, and is moving WAY too fast to be Emmie." The caped man turned.
"Could it be another sub?" he asked in a low voice.
Cloud, the captain, shook his spiky head. "No, the only other place with subs is Junon, and Junon's toward the east."
"That's true…"
Tifa ran over to the front of the view. Answering Cloud's unspoken question, she said, "I'm trying to see if I can get a visual."
Cloud looked around. "Well, if you're up here, trying to see this thing, and I'm up here, trying to pilot this sub, and Vincent's watching those turbine thingies back there, who's watching radar?"
Vincent, the caped man, raised his right arm. Quickly remembering that neither of them could see him, he said, "I am."
"But how do you watch two things at once?" Cloud asked.
"It's called 'multi-tasking' Cloud." Vincent and Tifa said in unison.
Cloud sighed. "I hate it when you two do that."
Ackers glided through the water. He could see the mainland now, and he was almost there. But he sensed something. Being curious (and stupid), he went to investigate.
It turns out the thing he sensed was a sub. It was heading towards a port. Ackers blinked. He turned. There, right behind him, was this big old green thing. Twice as tall as he was, it was massive and looked like it could crush just about anything!
Vincent looked back and forth between the radar monitor and the turbines. Tifa was still trying to see what the 6 or 7 foot long thing was. She had put up an argument about how she could tell if things posed a threat to them. Cloud just sighed and gave up.
The radar went off again. This time, everyone jumped. Cloud looked out the window and saw a big green monster. Yup, Emmie decided to show up. Nearby, he spotted a much smaller white and purple thing. It looked stunned and looked like it didn't belong in the water.
"Tifa!" Cloud almost yelled. Tifa yelped and stood at attention. "You see that purple and white thing?"
"Yup." Tifa said, getting a better view of the creature. "It looks almost feline. What is it? What's it doing in the water?"
"I don't know, but we should get ready for a battle." Cloud turned and said, "Weapon?" Cloud then pulled out this huge white sword. It had a purple triangle in the middle. Tifa pulled on some gloves. Vincent whipped out a gun. "Materia?" Cloud asked, examining the armguard he had on and the sword. Everyone looked at their weapons of choice and armor. Indeed, there were little different colored marbles in there. Few people from other places would know that these marbles had magic in them.
"Check." Vincent said.
"Check!" Tifa replied.
"Good. Let's go kick some Emmie butt!" Cloud charged out of the control room, leaving the sub on auto pilot.
"Does Emmie even HAVE a butt?" Tifa asked, following Cloud.
"Let's just say it does." Vincent replied, walking out.
Ackers just blinked. This giant thing was probably going to kill him! That's when he noticed the sub again. Three people were coming out of it. One of them swam at a steady rate toward the green thing. He neither floated nor sunk. A second was trying to swim after the first, but kept floating above him. The third was trying to follow his comrades but was sinking, and quickly.
Slowly, a purple aura seemed to seep from the second person. It spread to the first and to the third, and even to him. Ackers found that he could breathe now! He heard the people talking. It all sounded complicated and he didn't catch all of it. He swam over.
"Alright," the first said. "Tifa, you go investigate the purple thing. Just DON'T GO TOO FAR. Okay?"
The second, who was apparently Tifa, said, "Gotcha!"
"Good. Vincent, you and I will be making sure Emmie doesn't try to kill Emmie from behind. Okay?" Vincent, the third, nodded. "Good. Rah!" Apparently, this guy was the leader. He pulled out a sword that was about as big as he was. He went up and slashed at the green thing four times. Vincent shot it with a gun. The green thing turned to them and stomped on them. Amazingly, they were alright.
Ackers turned to see Tifa staring at him. He cocked his head a little and said, "What?" Tifa blinked.
"Nothing." She said.
"People don't stare at others for no good reason." Ackers replied. Tifa smiled sheepishly. "You know, I could find out why you were staring at me with just a thought."
"Yeah, RIGHT."
"I'm not lying. I'm psychic."
"… I still don't believe you."
Ackers blinked, then said, "You were staring at me because you were wondering what the frill a cat was doing underwater near Emmie."
Tifa blinked. "Yeah, that about sums it up." Just then, their nice conversation was interrupted by the leader's scream.
"AIRE TAM STORM! Retreat! RETREAT!" He was running for his life, Vincent following. Ackers turned to Tifa, but she was running with them. There was this big part of Emmie going over them and zapping them to smithereens. It hit Ackers, but he felt nothing. It annoyed him. So he charged a Shadow Ball and let it loose on the thing.
There was a HUGE explosion. When the bubbles cleared, he saw the three people out cold and lost of Emmie guts. Ackers gaped. Slowly, Vincent got up. He said something that Ackers couldn't understand and disappeared along with his friends. Then a huge bird appeared and sent lots of FLAME everywhere. When it disappeared, Ackers was roasty and toasty and Vincent and his friends were waking up. Ackers fainted.
"Vincent, what did you DO?" Cloud asked, dragging the cat behind him.
"I summoned Phoenix. Final Attack, remember?"
"Oh, yeah… poor thing…"
"It's not a thing," Tifa said moodily, "He's a thinking individual."
Cloud blinked. Vincent blinked. Cloud then started laughing his butt off. Vincent rolled his eyes. "How did I wind up following you idiots?" he muttered.
Cloud stopped laughing for a bit and said, "You came of your own free will, remember?" He started laughing again.
Terra ran from the weird place. She sighed and lied down on the ice. Hey, ice is better than nothing. But she couldn't sleep. Something was bugging her. She got up and went into the forest near where she was trying to sleep.
The forest had a magical air to it and seemed easy enough to go through. Terra walked briskly through it until she came to some trees. Almost out… she thought. Just then, she was attacked from behind by a giant turtle! Terra screamed and ran for her life. The turtle gave chase. Slow chase, but chase none the less.
Finally arriving somewhere near Nibelheim, Cloud dragged Ackers into the very big house and threw him on a bed in the infirmary. "I didn't even know we had an infirmary." Cloud said, looking around. "Neat." Anyway, Vincent and Tifa followed, closely followed by various other friends. There was Cid, the pilot of their airship, Barret, original refounder of their rebel group, AVALANCHE, Nanaki or Red XIII, the weird puppy thing, Cait Sith, the robotic spy-turned-ally, and Yuffie, the hyperactive ninja. Yuffie was bouncing around Ackers, Cid was smoking a cigarette, Barret went to watch TV, Cait Sith blew up because I hate him, and Red stayed with Cloud, Tifa, Vincent and Yuffie.
Yuffie was examining our unconscious psychotic psychic cat. "What is it?" Yuffie asked.
Red looked at her. "Some sort of cat, I would assume."
Yuffie looked at Ackers a little more closely. "How does it protect itself?"
Tifa sighed and said, "I already told you, the cat's a psychic! A real good one at that."
"Yeah. RIGHT." Yuffie said. Cloud burst out laughing, Vincent rolled his eyes, and Red went to get some water. Yuffie continued to examine Ackers. "Does it have Materia?"
Cloud, Tifa and Vincent said in unison, "No. Go away."
Yuffie shook her head and got REALLY close to Ackers' face. "When do you think it will wake up?" she asked.
Ackers chose that moment to wake up. Yuffie was currently looking at Cloud, who was shining his sword. Ackers blinked, then said, "I'll wake up when you get out of my face."
Yuffie screamed. Cloud jumped, dropping his sword on Vincent's foot. Thankfully, it was the dull edge and Vincent always wore steel plated boots. Tifa laughed at her friends. Vincent shrugged. He had seen weirder things.
Yuffie pointed at Ackers. "I-I-It TALKED!" She screamed again and backed away from the psychic. Cloud just gawked. Ackers was calm as ever.
"I'm not an it. I don't like being called an it. Please don't call me an it." Ackers floated off the bed. Now it was Cloud's turn to scream.
"GAH! He defies GRAVITY!" Cloud then ran behind Yuffie and used her as a human shield. Ackers just chuckled.
"So does your hair. Your point?" Tifa was still laughing.
"I TOLD you he was psychic!" Tifa yelled, pointing in Cloud's face. "Haha! I win! The score is now 1 Cloud, 19,023,564 Tifa! Woo!" Yuffie ran out of the room. Ackers twitched slightly.
"Ugh…" Ackers lied back down on the bed. "Stupid flaming bird of flame… it's worse than a Moltres!"
Vincent blinked. "A wha?"
"Never mind… have you seen a blue haired girl anywhere?"
"Sadly, I haven't." Cloud replied. Tifa and Vincent shook their heads.
"Damn…" Ackers got up again and floated out of the room. "I'm gonna go look for her."
"Who?" Tifa asked.
"The blue haired girl."
"Oh."
In the living room, Cid and Barret were watching some TV show with lots of fake laughter. Red was chewing on a cookie. Yuffie was trying to tell them that 'the psychotic psychic cat' was going to eat their brains.
"Seriously, guys! That thing is pure EVIL!" Yuffie yelled, waving her arms. "… EVIL!"
"Look, Yuffie," Barret said, "I don't know nothing about cats, but that one seemed--"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!" Yuffie interrupted.
Cid sighed. "$!$, Yuffie, just SHUT UP!"
Red looked up. "Even though I don't approve of Cid's choice of language, I agree. Please, do the world a favor: Shut up."
Yuffie growled. "Alright, but when that cat comes to suck out your brains, don't come crying to ME!" Yuffie stomped off toward the stairs, but Ackers just happened to be floating there. He did NOT look happy.
"The only thing I came for is this," Ackers said, calmly, swiping a cookie. "Yay, cookie!" Ackers then floated out the door with his cookie and everyone staring at him. Cloud ran down the stairs. Well, he tried to, but he slipped on a sock, left by Yuffie. He fell down the stairs and landed on his butt.
"Where'd the kitty go?" he asked. Everyone pointed towards the front door. Tifa and Vincent ran after Cloud. Tifa slipped on the sock, but Vincent jumped over it. "AFTER THAT PSYCHIC!" Cloud yelled, pointing his sword toward the door. He ran towards the door and slammed into it. Opening it, he pointed out and tried again. "AFTER THAT PSYCHIC!" Cloud charged outside with Tifa, Vincent, and Yuffie following.
Terra was at the beach of this new continent. "Damn," she muttered, "Dead end…" She looked around, then saw something coming towards her. Well, two things. One looked like it was walking on the water, the other like it was hovering just above it.
The walking thing stopped on the beach. It was a golden bird with four people on it. The first person had a big sword. The second, brown hair and wine-colored eyes. The third, a metal claw. The fourth, a shuriken pointed at Terra's throat.
"Alright, blue haired girl," the fourth said, jumping off the bird, "I know you're conspiring with that psychotic psychic cat to eat everyone's brains! TALK! Or DIE!" Terra flinched. Luckily, the second thing decided to show up at that exact moment.
Seeing what was going on, it attacked the girl and threw her into the ocean. "NO ONE puts ANYTHING sharp against MY trainer's throat!" it yelled. Terra jumped for joy: it was Ackers.
"Ackers!" Terra yelled, hugging her favorite psychic.
"Terra!" Ackers replied, hugging his favorite trainer. "Where in Kanto do you think we are?"
"Ackers," Terra calmly said, releasing Ackers, "I don't think we're in Kanto anymore."
The sword wielding guy and his friends jumped off the bird. "Who's this?" the guy asked.
"Cloud, Tifa, Vincent, I'd like you to meet my best friend EVER, Terra." Ackers replied, forcing them to shake Terra's hand. "You guys think you could get us back home?"
Cloud blinked. "Where IS your 'home'?"
Terra laughed. "In another dimension."
"Sorry, can't help ya," Tifa said, "We can't travel through dimensions…"
"… yet…" Vincent muttered. He looked up and said, "But Aeris did mention some staff meant for this guardian of worlds. It helps them control these worlds."
Ackers turned to Terra. "You ARE the Guardian of Dimensions! We should go get that staff!"
Terra turned to Vincent. "Where is this staff?"
"Somewhere in an ancient forest, filled to the brim with puzzles, monsters, and pollen."
"Well," Terra said, striking a pose, "What're we waiting for? Let's go get that staff!"
Yuffie popped out of the water and threw a rock at Ackers. "Oh, no, you won't! Not without a—" Ackers picked up Yuffie and threw her all the way to Nibelheim.
"Leave me alone!" Ackers yelled. Terra sighed. This is gonna be a LONG adventure…
---Yo! Was this WAY too long? Tell me what you think, we've got lots more coming at us!---
Cloud: How long do you think they'll last?
Tifa: About 10 minutes.
Vincent: I say about 5.
Terra: Whoa… AWESOME!
Yuffie: I must save my friends! RAH!