Disclaimer: Still all Tolkien and co's except for my original characters.
Loss and Hope
Chapter Three: Keeping the Faith
You can get just so much
From a good thing
You can linger too long
In your dreams
Say goodbye to the
Oldies but goodies
'Cause the good ole days weren't
Always good
And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems
-Billy Joel, Keeping the Faith
Imladris, TA 2934
Estel ran back and forth between Elladan and Elrohir, deftly maneuvering through the obstacles the twins put in his path.
"His reflexes are already quite remarkable." Elrohir said.
"Yes, if we train him just a bit more we will have him ready for the spring festival." Elladan said.
"And many merry moments of mischief to be made therein." Tirnion said as he watched over the trio.
"Of course." Elladan answered, moving another stack of books into the path of Estel. He clapped as the young boy quickly jumped over it, never hesitating at the sudden changes in the path.
"How did you convince Gilraen to let you do this?" Tirnion asked, wondering why the lady would let the twins watch her son.
"Oh, Elrohir simply bated those pretty lashes of his." Elladan said with a smirk.
"I simply asked her." Elrohir replied. "She wished to ride out with Glorfindel in order to show her guests around the realm. We do have to hand him over to father soon."
"Healing lessons?" Elladan asked.
"Healing lessons." Elrohir replied.
"Lessons, so soon?" Tirnion asked.
Elrohir nodded, "Father believes it is never too soon to start lessons."
"Yes, well, amongst elves I could understand such a thing but the human's mind does not age as quickly as our own." Tirnion said.
"Ah, yes, but these are Dunedain, they are somewhere in between." Elladan said.
"I am sure Estel will do quite well." Elrohir said. "His attention to detail is quite remarkable at his young age and that is necessary for a healer."
"Clearly explains while Elladan is not so inclined to that field." Tirnion said.
Elladan gave him a dark look, "I could have been a healer, my father even said I had the potential. I just knew it was not for me, I could feel it was not."
"He also does not have the best bedside manner." Elrohir murmured. "I know, surprising considering his personality. Alas, Elladan tends to get cranky with the patients."
"And I have heard he does not handle labors well either." Tirnion said with a smile.
"May I remind you, we all have our weaknesses. Some of us do not excel in hand-to-hand fighting techniques." Elladan said giving Elrohir a look, "and that others of us, while more than very decent in fighting and healing techniques have handwriting on the level of the scratching of chickens."
Tirnion held up a hand in protest, "Yet it is still legible. We cannot all have the beautiful penmanship and artist skills of Elrohir."
"Healing notes need to be quite clear, as do the drawings illustrating wounds and the body, same goes for the battlefield." Elrohir said.
"What?" Estel asked, stopping his game as he noticed his elder friends in a discussion.
Elrohir smiled as he held his hands out for Estel to grab. He stood up and carefully swung the boy around. "Estel, would you like to have your first try at drawing a map before your lessons with father?"
Estel nodded, laughing. Elladan stood up, starting to gather the stacks of books and packs of clothing, sticks and other objects that had been used for the small obstacle course. Tirnion helped him an amused smirk on his face, "Now this," he said to Elladan, "I must see."
"Have you so little faith in my brother?" Elladan asked.
"I have plenty of faith in your brother, I simply have so little faith in a young boy with colored chalks helping to draw a map." Tirnion said.
A wicked smile worked its way onto Elladan's face, "Gilraen will not be happy with us but it will be worth it, to see his smile and that of my father."
Tirnion nodded silently as they followed Elrohir and Estel into the house.
Morwen sat under a tree with Estel settling into her lap. Gilraen had needed some time to rest, her body still adjusting to the schedule the elves kept, even after a year in Imladris. Morwen was glad to watch Estel for the afternoon, always happy to see his young and intelligent eyes light up as he heard a story. Morwen had found the past year fascinating as she watched Estel grow. He was larger and stronger than the average elfling of the same age, those his mind was not as advanced, it was more advanced than that of a child completely of a human bloodline. It made Morwen wonder how half-elves grew, how Lord Elrond and his brother must have appeared. There was something about Estel, so elven like in appearance and intelligence, yet not so, that had her wonder if he would always be like this, a study in the contradictions and the mixture of their races and bloodlines. Her pondering was interrupted as Estel tugged on her hand and pointed to one of the groves.
"Morwen, what are Rian and Elladan doing?" Estel asked.
Morwen looked up in surprise at the interruption, Estel usually one to sit patiently and eagerly as a story was read to him. She turned her head, looking in the direction Estel was pointing at. The tableau before was one that made her smile but was not, however, something for young eyes. She quickly gathered Estel up in one arm, the book in the other.
"Oh, Estel, they are simply kissing, an action you need not worry about in your young life." Morwen quickly stated.
"But why are they doing that?" Estel asked.
Morwen patted his head, "You are far too young to hear the answer to that question and I have no idea how to answer such a question yet, therefore, we will both pretend we did not see such a thing."
Estel smiled, "Saw what thing?"
Morwen nodded, "I see Elrohir already had your trained quite well. Good elf."
It was the time of the day when most elves gathered for a break from duty and the time Morwen had been looking forward to since Estel had made his discovering earlier in the day. They had their rituals, and one was to gather in the office of Morwen, Rian, and Eluialeth to share this break in the day. There were times however, like today, when Glorfindel would invite himself to their gatherings. Currently he was settled on one of the window seats, Morwen leaning on his chest, as he went through reports not taking the traditional break in the day but a break from being behind the desk nonetheless. Morwen chose to ignore his need to stay to his work and gestured to Elladan and Rian, cuddled up together on one of the couches.
"Estel spied you two sharing quite an embrace today." Morwen said as she reached a hand out to snag one of the apples on the snack tray, settling back against Glorfindel with her new fruit.
Glorfindel, unmindful of the action kept reading his reports, "Oh dear, was it Arador all over again?" he asked.
"I think Estel is far too young to have set his heart on Rian." Eluialeth said.
"The greater question," Elrohir said, "is why they were sharing such an embrace in the open."
Rian was looking off to the side while Elladan, though blushing, raised a challenging eyebrow at his brother. "My dear twin, perhaps we shall talk of the embraces of the past, perhaps we should tell of your first kiss."
Elrohir's eyes widened and Morwen began to choke on her apple, the noise finally pulling Glorfindel from his reports.
"Well, if those were not incriminating actions I do not know what are." Glorfindel said. He pulled Morwen's head back "Must I defend my position in your life?" Glorfindel asked.
"No, not at all. It was a single day, long ago, when we were quite young." Morwen said, her eyes indeed wavering under Glorfindel's intense gaze.
"Quite." Elrohir assured. "Not even yet at our majorities…." Elrohir trailed off as Glorfindel gave him a dark look. "It was only once, Glorfindel." Elrohir said.
"He means one day," Elladan said, "it was not simply one kiss."
Morwen and Elrohir both looked at Elladan as if he had lost all sense though before they could say anything Rian interrupted, "But Elladan, I thought Morwen was your first kiss."
Morwen closed her eyes, not wishing to see Glorfindel's face. Elrohir however was suddenly smiling, "Now, that was one simple kiss. All because Elladan was so jealous because we had both done something he had not."
"And of course Elladan could not let Elrohir do something with Morwen he had not." Tirnion said.
"I do not think Imladris has ever seen so awkward a kiss as that. If there was any one incident which proved you two were meant to be nothing but very good friends that was it." Elrohir said.
Elladan nodded vigorously as Morwen shuddered in horror.
Glorfindel narrowed his eyes at her, "Well then, Tirnion, perhaps you should step up since it appears you are the only male in this room not yet kissed by Morwen."
"Oh, of course I have been. Though, it was nothing more than a chaste…" Tirnion stopped at the murderous look Morwen was giving him.
"Please, do not taunt him." Eluialeth said. "For all of our sakes."
Morwen looked at Glorfindel, "I suggest you move away from this line of inquiry before I share the incident which introduced me to…" Glorfindel placed a hand over Morwen's mouth before she could finish the statement. Though Elladan snickered as he remembered the incident, the incident which forever banned Glorfindel from seducing she-elves within the library, no matter how late it may be. Elladan still did not know who was more livid that night, Morwen, Erestor, or the she-elf who lost her chance with Glorfindel due to an enraged young elf and an equally enraged chief councilor.
"Yes," Rian said, "let us not speak of that event, for I can still hear the yells of that night."
Elrohir put down his latest drawing, "Yes, Morwen, who ever knew you could sound so shrill and indignant."
Morwen simply gave a bored sniff, "I do not like such things done near my work station, especially when they cause my carefully organized notes to be scattered."
"I have apologized profusely for that event." Glorfindel said.
Tirnion and Eluialeth exchanged a look, Tirnion nodding as he sat back. Eluialeth spoke up, "You might as well tell us now, we have enough information to simply guess."
Glorfindel sighed and leaned back, "Let me tell it, for I fear Morwen has a large amount of bias in regards to the events."
"Can you even remember the true events from that night, you were obviously not conscious of your surroundings." Morwen gritted out.
Glorfindel sighed, "Fine, you tell the tale."
"Gladly." Morwen sat up straighter, and though her face appeared grim there was a smile in her eyes as Glorfindel ran a comforting hand over her back, listening as she told of the events of the night only months after her majority which had hurt so dearly at the time and yet now could be looked back on with amusement.
The summer was quickly approaching, bringing warm breezes and humidity in the air with it. Galdor had seemed to come with the summer sun, his arrival in Imladris triggering an apparent wave of warm days as the members of the realm, especially the human residents, took to swimming in the river or the ponds, relaxing by the waterfalls or doing anything possible to take the sting of the heat away from their bodies.
With the summer came the worry for young Estel, who appeared to one party of Imladris as old enough to learn how to swim in such places as long as he was supervised at all times while another party adamantly opposed said idea. Unfortunately for Estel, both parties were adamant on having their side of the argument heard.
"He is too young." Gilraen insisted.
"No he's not." Elrohir said.
"Yes he is." Five female voices insisted, clearly overruling the males in the room. The group of males leaned back as they were collectively glared at by Faeleth, Morwen, Rian, Eluialeth, and most importantly, Gilraen.
Erestor sat back and sighed. He turned to Elrond, "You are the Lord of Imladris, I am its chief councilor, Glorfindel is an elf of amazing influence, the twins are lords in training, Tirnion is a seneschal of his realm and Galdor is one of the chief councilors of the Havens and yet we are all under the thumbs of the various females in our lives."
Faeleth shook her head, "You are all pathetic yet intelligent elves. If you wish to teach Estel to swim do so in the large guest baths, but do not risk a chance with the Bruinen."
"Faeleth it is more noisy than difficult to swim in." Elrond said.
"Maybe for a grown elf. Start off small, let him build up his skill and then take him to the Bruinen, once he is strong enough to not be blown over by a swift wind." Faeleth said.
"He would not be blown over." Glorfindel protested.
"He went toppling into Gilraen's legs the other day when a brisk wind went flying by." Morwen said in a dry tone.
"Fine." Elladan sighed. "The guests baths it is, though we never received such a luxury."
"That is because those fools," Faeleth said gesturing to the elder triumvirate, "waited until your mother was distracted with the ladies of the court before they smuggled you out of the house and to the river. I do not know if Celebrian ever learned of your secretive swimming lessons but I assure you, if she had while they were going on, well, I think your father would still be feeling his punishment."
"Indeed." Elrond agreed, grimacing as he remembered just how cold Celebrian's voice had become when she learned of the twin's swimming lessons, a mere slip of the tongue revealing the truth when discussing Arwen's own lessons.
"So we are agreed, Estel can start swimming lessons in the guest baths." Gilraen decreed, all else nodding their approval. "Good, Elladan, Elrohir since this was your idea, I believe you can sacrifice the dry state of your clothing for the greater good of all."
The twins nodded and moved to leave the room, going to collect Estel from Lindir.
"Will every decision be like this?" Gilraen asked.
Elrond nodded, "Most likely, it is how it has always been done. You are his mother though, you have the final say."
"If you wonder why we form a council for such things, well, it is always helpful to get many opinions." Erestor said.
"And the experiences of others. Rian, for example, shies away from the water due to her traumatic experiences." Faeleth said.
"The twins threw me into the Bruinen thinking I already knew how to swim. I am sad to say, they were quite mistaken." Rian muttered.
Morwen placed a soft hand on Gilraen's shoulder, "Sadly, Gilraen, you are surrounded by many scholars and councilors who must weigh all options before making a final decision."
"And soldiers who do the same." Glorfindel said.
Gilraen sighed, "At least life in Imladris will always be entertaining."
Rian watched as Elrohir dropped himself down into the large public guest baths, more like a large indoor pond with steps and benches to sit on. Many had taken to watching these lessons of Estel's, though they had been ordered by Elrond to give the young boy his space and not to make him aware of all the eyes taking him in. Elrohir was often the teacher in these lessons, finding himself more able to withstand Estel's enthusiastic splashing than Elladan who normally found himself coughing up water. Today found Elladan holding up the ever wriggling Estel as his brother prepared himself for handling the young boy.
Thandrog came into the area, "Elladan, Glorfindel needs you to lead a patrol."
Elladan put Estel down onto the floor, keeping his hand on Estel's head holding him in place, and turned to his friend, "Why can you not lead it?"
"Because it is a patrol going out to meet the Rangers and Elrohir has already been slated to teach a group of new soldiers on healing techniques for the battlefield."
Elladan turned to look at his twin, narrowing his eyes as Elrohir stopped trying to coax Estel to him. "You did not tell me you were leading a session." Elladan said.
"You have been quite….busy lately." Elrohir said, though there was no malice in his voice. "I simply needed something to consume all my free time, as did Tirnion, and so we both decided more of our warriors could use healing training, beyond the basics they learn before Glorfindel lets them out."
Elladan nodded, conceding the point to his brother, he gave a smile to Rian before turning back to Thandrog, "Then I guess I will…." Elladan stopped as he was suddenly splashed with water, from his head to his feet, his once warm clothes suddenly sopping wet. He turned back to his twin, who was obviously biting back laughter as Estel looked up at Elladan with an innocent face.
Rian chuckled while Thandrog looked in the other direction.
"I….I will tell Glorfindel you'll be a moment." Thandrog said before hurrying out of the room, a hand over his mouth to cover up his laughter.
Elladan gave Thandrog a nod before turning back to Rian, Elrohir and Estel, "Not a word." he stated before he walked off, leaving a trail of water behind him.
Going out into the main house he stopped as Morwen walked into his path. She gave him a look before glancing at the windows, taking in the sunny weather. "Elladan?" she asked.
"You would be surprised how much water a small boy can produce when jumping into the guest baths."
"Were you watching him at the time?" Morwen asked.
"No, I was distracted." Elladan said.
Morwen patted him on the arm and then stopped, shaking the water off her hand. "You of all people should know never to take your eyes off a young child. You also proved the splashes always seem to be greater when one is not watching."
"Indeed." Elladan stated as he grabbed up his wet hair, "If you will excuse me, I must change before I go on patrol."
Morwen watched him go, sliding and squeaking the entire way.
Elrond stopped his work as he heard the laughter in the halls. It had been so long since he had heard such a thing and despite the mounds of work he had to go through, he stopped to revel in the sound. There was something so powerful and healing in it and it was a sound he deeply missed and one reason why he often enjoyed traveling to human settlements. Elflings were so rare these days.
"Reminiscing on days of old?" Erestor asked as he came in through the secret door, connecting Glorfindel and Erestor's inner-house offices to his own.
"Just remembering the fond times when you could not go anywhere without tumbling over an elfling." Elrond said.
Erestor nodded, "Or finding one hidden under a desk, in a wardrobe, under a table or a chair, above a doorway balancing on the banisters…"
"Elladan only did that twice." Elrond defended his eldest.
"As far as we know." Erestor said.
"Yes, well, you were the one who essentially kidnapped Morwen from the nursery and read story after story to her while we frantically searched the house."
"The sounds of the stories soothed her young mind." Erestor said.
"We could not find her for five hours." Elrond said.
"If you had simply come to me, rather than fearing my reaction over the supposed loss of one of my favorite elflings, the problem would have been resolved quite quickly." Erestor said.
Elrond laughed, "Thank the Valar for Arwen, she caused few problems."
Erestor snorted, "I have a feeling she is merely waiting for us to become completely complacent before she surprises us. To be fair, there was also only one of her while there were, at one time, four of the others, not to mention the new elflings born into the court and into the families of the rest of the realm."
"Quite a hectic time." Elrond agreed. "And now we only have one."
"Oh, I would not say such a thing. Elladan and Elrohir appear to be reverting back to their younger selves in order to teach him." Erestor said.
Elrond stood up, moving to stand outside on the balcony. "I am well aware and therefore am so thankful. Arathorn's death, it was far too soon but the consequences of it, bringing Estel and Gilraen here, it has restored something in both of my sons." Elrond smiled as he saw Estel run outside, chasing after Elladan who was clearly walking slowly, "Something I feared would never be returned to them."
"The ever fading light of the innocent." Erestor murmured. "Galueth still has it in her eyes. Eluialeth though, it has been gone for some time."
"Tirnion helps." Elrond said, having noticed the same thing in Eluialeth's eyes.
"I think he makes her feel safe." Erestor said.
"I can understand why, as I am sure you can." Elrond stated.
Erestor nodded, "His position as the seneschal of a realm constantly under siege appeals to the rational side of her mind stating that if any of our younger generation could protect her, it is he for he has seen even more than the twins."
"And more. While I understand Mithrandir's reasoning, I do still wish he never had them patrol so near to Dol Guldur." Elrond said.
"Having spoken with Tirnion, he would prefer that patrol to having to venture into the nests of those spiders."
Elrond nodded, "Almost certain death or almost certain death, how does one choose?"
"More, how would you like that almost certain death. Quick and relatively painless or long and slow." Glorfindel said from the doorway.
"Are you not supposed to be teaching somebody something somewhere?" Erestor asked.
"Oh, I felt you two brooding from all the way in the barracks and decided to join the fun. We have not had a good group brood in some time." Glorfindel bumped into Erestor's side as he walked by him.
"We have had little to brood about." Elrond said.
"We have had plenty to brood about, we have simply ignored it in the place of other things. Though," Glorfindel said with a smile as he leaned on the railing looking down on the game of tag taking place below them, "it was with very good reason."
"Have you heard anything?" Elrond asked.
"Nothing confirmed, rumors and whispers as usual, but it seems oddly peaceful, all things considered." Glorfindel said.
"Which means something is about to happen." Erestor said.
"As per usual." Elrond said. He stared out over the valley and started to laugh.
"Elrond?" Erestor asked.
"Nothing." Elrond said as he shook his head. "I was simply thinking about how many times we have done this, the three of us, standing at this balcony…."
"or what once was the skeleton of this balcony…" Erestor muttered remembering the building of Imladris.
"and looked out over the valley speaking in calm and amused tones of impending doom." Elrond said.
"A few thousands years of blood and darkness, death and dark lords will do that to an elf." Glorfindel said.
"Have we really become so cynical…..so…." Elrond trailed off.
"Old?" Erestor asked.
Glorfindel laughed, hopping over the banister as he made his way to one of the nearby trees, "I certainly have not. I still delight in the joy of a new day and now, I feel like a game of tag."
Elrond and Erestor watched him go, silently stalking the twins while gesturing for Estel to be quiet.
"I would join him," Erestor said, "but unlike our ever-ready-for-battle friend robes and tree branches rarely mix well."
"And I truly have no desire to patch you up nor take the punishment from Faeleth in the face of such an accident. I think a simple walk would be best." Elrond said.
"Indeed."
Elrond and Erestor made their way out of the room, heading for the gardens. They were only stopped once, by Tirnion of all elves.
"Where are you going off to so hurriedly?" Tirnion asked, wondering if he would get a chance to offer his expert assistance.
"To join in on a game of tag." Elrond said.
"Glorfindel must be caught and I fear the twins will not be able to catch him, even with their combined forces." Erestor said, as he walked by Tirnion, Elrond following in his wake.
Tirnion watched them go, confusion on his face. He jumped as Morwen laid a hand on his shoulder, "You look lost." she said.
Tirnion nodded, "I fear your elders may be slightly insane."
"Why?"
Tirnion shook his head, "no reason."
Morwen shrugged and continued on her way, leaving Tirnion to his thoughts.
Estel sat propped up on many pillows as he watched the others eat their midday meal. Before the presence of Gilraen and Estel in Imladris, this meal was often ignored for more pressing matters, but knowing humans and specifically small boys needed to eat, Elrond had decreed all able members would partake in the meal.
Gilraen lightly guided Estel's movement, letting him learn more through imitation of the elves than through explicit direction. Though, having witnessed some of Morwen and Elladan's more colorful mealtime manners, she sometimes doubted that decision. Gilraen let her eyes drift around the table, at her new adopted family that had taken her into their close-knit fold over this past year. The head of the table was occupied by Elrond, looking as he often did when he was simply among family and friends, in an ornate shirt and leggings, his heavy robes of office left for more official guests. He was flanked by Erestor on one side and Glorfindel on the other, both leaning over Elrond to debate some matter. Elrohir and Tirnion, who Gilraen learned was not a normal resident of the realm, but one of the woodland elves, were debating the virtues of what salves to use in the aftercare of battle wounds. Elladan and Rian were having what appeared to be a polite conversation but was obviously one filled with hidden meaning. Gilraen remembered Arathorn telling her such things had to be done for the sake of protection. The other guests at the table, Morwen, Eluialeth, and Galdor of the Havens were trading information, all concerned with their duties as councilors.
Despite the fact she was worried about something of the lesser respectable things Estel could learn at this table, she was equally proud of what he could learn here. There was, as Morwen had once assured her, a good deal of tolerance here. And warmth. And laughter. And stories and friendship and intelligence. Healing songs and soft voices, debates on trade with debates on warpaths, gossiping painters and musicians who never spoke unless they were singing. There was light and learning, yet a caution to it all, an acknowledgement of what had once been and what was to come. Most importantly however, there was love, and even as she saw Estel blossoming under the care and attention and love lavished all over him, she could feel it covering her as well. She would never feel completely comfortable here, always aware of who and what she had left behind but Estel, even at this young age, had already found his home. Gilraen placed a soft kiss on top of his head before leaning forward to join in on one of the many conversations, her words always welcome here.
A/N 1: For those who read the "Once I Was" story (pre-Lullaby of Love story, very pre), a second short story to that has been posted on the lj. Also, for anyone wondering why I keep using Billy Joel songs, well, that will be revealed at the end of this story, but there is a reason.
Thanks:
Sielge, thank you for the review and saying I write well. Really put a big smile on my face. I do try to make the stories enjoyable, so I hope you like it!
Nima, thank you! It will be easier to work with Estel and the twins as Estel gets older, but I am trying to build the base in here for the obviously close tie they all had. And I know you knew about Imladris being a sanctuary I was merely trying comment on how other people know but tend to forget that….and I swear that made sense.
Renna, thank you, as always. As cutesy as little Estel can be, I am silently enjoying what "teenage" Estel might become, though that will probably be in the story that takes place during The Hobbit. We'll see, but I hope you enjoyed the little hints of "adventures" above.