Thank You To All:

Faithheart

luvvcaptainjack

williz

rockyrelay

Cap'n Quinn

Rabid Lawn Gnome

freak and proud

Readerfreak10

SpAzZzZzAtTaCk

Will, Elizabeth, Anamaria, and Jack all walked throughout the mall together. They hurriedly passed by the food court when they noticed Ana's mouth water at the sight of the soft chocolate chip cookies. They continued walking until they got to the center of the mall.

"Where to now?" Anamaria asked, eying the many stores.

"I don't know," Replied Will, "How about- hey, what's wrong with her?" He asked pointing to the shaking Elizabeth. A wide grin was on her face and her eyes were widened to the size basketballs. "Uh, Liz, what's wrong?" Her bouncing and smiling made it look like she was on drugs, but she didn't notice as she turned to face her friends; she whispered something.

"Say what?" Sparrow asked, leaning his ear closer to her; she whispered it again.

"Woman!" Ana yelled in impatience, "Talk up! What's-"

"Pirates of the Caribbean store!" She finally screeched, making Jack, Ana, and Will jerk back in surprise at the sudden outburst. Ana looked in the direction that Elizabeth was looking in, and practically deafened Turner and Sparrow with her scream. The two girls raced across the main lobby of the mall to the POTC store, knocking people over in their efforts.

"What?" Jack sighed and hushed Turner with a wave of his hand.

"Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom."

"Oh."

"We need to follow them and get them out quickly," Sparrow concluded.

Will looked at him in confusion, "Why?"

"Because, William, two teenage pirate fan girls, plus a Pirates of the Caribbean store, divided by hundreds of Johnny and Orlando posters, times POTC plushies, minus the fact that their other girls in there getting the same thing, square that so far, plus pirate action figures and beach towels, multiplied by POTC pajamas and matching underwear equals?" He prompted.

"America's Most Wanted." Jack cracked up to the point where he couldn't stand.

"Will," -gasp- "Will, you idiot!" Turner joined in this laughter as he helped Sparrow to his feet. "But," He brushed his pants off, "you have a point."

"So, are we going in?" Turner asked with scared eyes.

Jack took a deep breath and stared at the store ahead of them, "Yeah. But, Will?"

"Yeah?"

"If I don't come out alive, promise you'll tell my mom I love her and tell my grandmother I lov-," He cut himself off and thought about what he was about to say, "Yeah, tell my mom I love her?" Turner snickerd.

"Sure." The two then walked towards the store ahead of them, into female territory where girls were attacking each other for T-Shirts. Lord help them.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Elizabeth, over here!" Ana yelled, "I found you an Orlando ice cream for you!"

Swann snapped her head around, looking at the prize in her friend's hand. "Mine!" She yelled, pushing her way through the crowd. "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"

"Hey!" A bleach blond screeched, "You need to-"

Elizabeth snapped around to face her, "Watch it Malibu Barbie!" The other girl gasped and glared but turned back to cuddling her Orlando Tee; Liz continued her way to Ana and took the dairy sweet from her. "Haha! MINE!"

"Everybody!" The owner of the store shouted, standing on a chair. All of girls, including one gay guy, stopped squealing and turned to face the thirty-five year old woman. "We're going to have a quick contest for free prizes!"

"Yay!"

"Hey Ana?" Liz asked quietly, "Lets stay together so we can work together to do this. This way, because two heads are better than one, we'll have a perfect chance of winning the prizes." Ana nodded and the two squealed quietly under their breath.

"Now," The store owner began again, "I want all of my Johnny fans to line up on the right wall, and all of my Orlando fans on the left!" She watched as the girls scattered to their places. Just now, Ana and Liz were struck with a sudden reminder: they didn't like the same guy!

"Oh man!" Ana complained, "Sorry, Liz, but I'm not really for O."

"Ana no!" Liz whined, "I want you to stay with me!"

"I'm sorry, Lizzie, but if I stay over here, I'll be forsaking my tribe." Liz detached and they shared a final hug before Ana walked to the other side of the room with the other Johnny Depp fans.

"Okay." The lady said, "I have T-Shirts, posters, cereal, cruise tickets, wallpaper, plushies, keychains, towels, pajama's, and all the accesories to your favorite actor. But, you must do one thing first." She pulled out a huge bucket full of slime and guck, lumps were in it, and it was puke green; some of the girls gagged, "This, ladies, is a bucket of caterpiller guts. What you must do is reach your hands way down in the bottom to find a golden key. This key will unlock the safe behind me, where your prize is. But also, there are silver keys in here that will not unlock the safe." By now, a few of the girls were too disgusted, so they left. Elizabeth smirked at the familiar bleach blond girl that she had confronted earlier.

"What?" Liz teased, "Can't handle a little nastiness, Malibu Barbie?" The other girl glared and pranced out; Liz giggled.

"Alright!" The woman yelled, "Everybody move up to the bucket." Everyone did as told, and Ana ended up right in front of Liz, the bucket seperating them.

She nodded to her friend, "Elizabeth."

"Anamaria." Liz smiled; they shook hands before the whistle blew and the girls dived in.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Jack, what are you doing?"

Sparrow turned back to face Will, "I need to go upstairs for a minute, there's something I need to get."

"Such as?" Turner prompted.

"None ye." He smirked, "Now come on!" Jack turned away and headed for the escalator, but when he looked back, Will was standing there with wide eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Jack asked.

"Escalator!" He shouted, eyes bugged.

Sparrow looked at Turner with a raised eyebrow, "What about them?"

Will's eye began to twitch as he whispered, "It stole my pants when I was eight." Jack snickered behind his hand, before he walked over to Turner and pinched his cheeks.

"Aw," He cooed, "Did de meanie weanie escawator take poow Will's pansy wansies?" Turner glared and batted his hand away.

"Shut up, I'll be waiting here." Jack shrugged.

"Fine." Turner watched as Jack stepped on the escaltor, but it was taking too long, so he began to just sprint the rest of the way, two steps at a time. Will chuckled, "Does he ever do anything normal?" Just then, he heard a whistle come from the POTC store as a few girls came out, looking like they were about to throw up. He let them pass and then proceeded to get a little closer to the store. "What in the?" When he looked in, the smell was overwhelming, so was the sight. Elizaebeth had bug goo all over her arms, as did Anamaria. They searched through the container with disgusted looks on their faces; Will chuckled to himself and took a picture with his camera phone. He took a couple more and sent them to Jack, in his message, he said,

"I'm so jealous. Elizabeth wouldn't even pick up a piece of paper off the floor for me! Blasted Orlando Bloom."

AGTNR: God awful? Horrible? Bad? Good? Wonderful? Lost for words?