Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the same thing you read over and over again in every fic.
Warning: This takes place in Season 12, so if you don't know what happens it will ruin everything.
This is my first fic so...
Anyway, I want to thank Eva Cale for her support and help with this fic. And also Kira (elohimdancer319) for her help as well with grammar mistakes. English isn't my main language so I do apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Please review!
I'm not sure if I let it out as a question or what but I remember the last time we dated and it didn't turn out that well when he…
"It's just a key. You don't have to live with me but I thought you can stop by when ever you want to."
I can't stop staring at it.
"Just a key…" I mumble.
"Yeah… I'm not going to pressure you into anything…"
"Ok… Well… thanks… I guess." I'm smiling at him now. "I do have one more question…"
Something's been bugging me in the back of my head since I saw it and I need to know…
"Yeah?"
"When did you decide this? Because if this is…"
He cuts me off, he knows where I'm going and doesn't want me to go there.
"I know we are going faster than you want. Than anyone wants to, but I can't help feel this is how it's supposed to be. And now I'm talking about the key, which I wrapped yesterday before you said anything… So… What I'm trying to say is that I want us to be together, giving you the key to my apartment, is me telling you that. Don't think more to it because you'll worry about something you don't have to. Ok?"
As I let him talk, I can't help but wonder how can he understand my worries so much. It's actually scary and at the same time sweet.
"Ok" I nod. Let's change the subject. "So… what do you want to do today?"
"Well, I was thinking we could just stay in here and enjoy the couch."
"The couch?" I look at him because I know he is just teasing me.
"Yeah, unless you want to do something else."
"No, the couch is fine. Do I have to move or I just need to lay here?" I'm smiling again.
"That depends on how involved you want to be…"
As those words come out of his mouth, his arms are moving around me and we finally kiss.
Later that day I'm laying next to Luka in the bed. We are talking about the baby and about the whole situation.
"What are you thinking?" he asks.
"How it would be if we decide to keep it..." I sigh
"What is it that you are scared about?"
"Everything! I don't know... There are all little things but if I put them all together it just freaks me out..."
"It's normal to be scared, believe me... But it's also good to take chances once in a while, we wouldn't be here if we hadn't... Choosing and taking risks it what makes you grow as a person. You need to give yourself the possibility, if you don't you will miss great things."
I have to look at him now. Grow as a person?
"I know that... I do. It's funny my mum told me something similar not that long ago..."
"She did? Well, you might want to listen to her when she says something like that."
"Ha, very funny..." I'm smiling now... but then I remain silent for a minute. Finally I add...
"What if I don't know how to love it right?"
"Abby!"
"Maybe I'm not strong enough"
I'm just not sure about the whole thing... Can I take care of a child?
"Being a parent makes you stronger."
"And it breaks your heart you told me that."
I shouldn't have said that...
"That's not what I meant."
Oh my...
"I'm sorry I didn't mean..."
"No... No, don't use that as a reason" he sighs.
"I'm sorry."
I caress his arm with my hand, his soft skin makes me feel better. Heshakes his head as to say that I don't have to.
"What if I go shopping and leave it in the supermarket?"
"Don't worry I'll do all the shopping." he says smiling.
I sigh... I just don't know...
"I'm afraid I'll mess it up Luka."
He moves his arm to my waist and says: "We won't."
We won't? I know we are together in this, but it's just difficult to see myself and Luka with a baby at the moment. But then at the same time, I feel that it's the right thing... I think I might go crazy about now... I just can't make up my mind... everything seems so complicated.
I take my hand in his... I have to say something.
"I'm not sure yet, I think I need to think about it more. Everything is so complicated right now inside my head. I just..."
"Hey, relax ok...? You don't need to decide right now. I'm not going to push you into making the choice tonight or anything like that. I understand you need time..."
"Thank you, Luka. I know what this means to you but I'm just glad you are here..."
He shift his body to hold me close to him and we cuddle together. Eventually I drift and fall asleep.