Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

Warning: I've been keeping a queue of chapters so that I could update regularly through writer's blocks. That que has been depleted. I might have an unexpected delay in the next chunk. I realize that I could withhold a story chunk until I've got more in the queue, but I don't feel like doing that.

A/N: I know, another roadtrip story. They've been home for about two weeks, but nothing exciting has really happened except for Janos trying to have a staring contest with Brightflame. He still doesn't realize that Brightflame doesn't have eyelids, and that the impression that she's blinking is just a mental trick.

Jennifer drove, or course, and Raziel was in the navigator's seat and was busy inspecting the map. Janos was in the back, his wings draped over the low seat cusion. Azrael had the hood of his sweatshirt pulled around his face and was moodily staring out the window.

"Do you think we'll be able to find any fan-kids at the convention?" Raziel asked, tugging at his t-shirt. It had the inverted symbol from his drape emblazoned on it.

"They'll find us," Jennifer said. "Anyone who deserves to find you will recognize your symbol."

"What about that outfit you brought?" Raziel asked.

"Only the true crazies will be able to recognize that getup," Jennifer giggled. "It's a shame, really. So few female characters to begin with, and some get cut."

Raziel thought for a moment. "Who are you dressing as?"

"Random vamp chick that gets killed by Moebutt's mob," Jennifer sighed.

"You could have gone with someone more recognizable," Raziel pointed out.

Jennifer mentally ticked off her choices. "Let's see; purple underwear, practically naked, weird flowing rags... I don't know what the priestess is supposed to look like." Jennifer took a breath and began listing the more random women. "The sorceresses were bald, and I really don't want to wear Moebutt's symbol." Jennifer gave an expressive yawn.

Janos tensed in worry. "Are you tired, Jennifer?"

"A little bit," Jennifer admitted. "I was putting the last touches on my costume last night."

When they pulled off at the next rest stop so that Jennifer could get some cola, Janos snuck up behind her and put a sleep spell on her.

"What are you doing?" Raziel asked.

"I will not have her operating that vehicle while she's exhausted," Janos said.

"So now we're stuck here until she's had a nap," Raziel said unenthusiastically.

"There are worse things," Janos insisted.

"I'm sure that I could drive the van," Azrael said. At Raziel and Janos' doubting stares, Azrael insisted, "It can't be any harder than riding a motorcycle."

Raziel had been in the passenger seat enough times to be able to guide Azrael around the differences between his motorcycle and the van. After a few tense minutes, (Janos yelped in alarm when Azrael pressed too hard on the gas pedal and caused the van to jolt forward,) they were on the road again.

Jennifer jerked awake several hours later. She only relaxed slightly when she saw that Azrael was driving. He momentarily flicked his eyes up to meet hers in the mirror; his glance was unconcerned.

"Honestly," Jennifer grumbled at Janos. She fixed him with an angry glare. Janos calmly returned the gaze. Finally, Jennifer gave up. She figured out the who, and she understood the why.

They switched drivers at the next rest stop, and they got to their destination without incident.

At the convention, Raziel shook his head adamantly. "I am not dropping my illusion," he insisted. "That's why we dragged my handsome doppelganger along."

Jennifer opened her mouth to convince him to reconsider, but then she just smiled. "Okay"

After a couple hours, Raziel was beginning to become worried that the only fanatics that had made it to the convention were for Star Wars. Azrael had only gotten some general comments, but that might have been because he was wandering around without a shirt on. Janos had disappeared shortly after they had arrived, and no one had recognized Raziel's symbol. He slipped into the alcove for one of the emergency exits and dropped his disguise.

Raziel emerged again and nonchalantly leaned against the wall. Inwardly, he was feeling very self-concious about standing in a crowd like this. He wanted to stay close to the exit.

Someone noticed him and commented, "Cool costume, man." The guy and his friend wandered closer to Raziel.

Raziel nodded and gave a quiet, "thanks."

The other guy was studying Raziel's 'costume' when he noticed how inhumanly skinny the wraith was. Curiously, he reached towards the concave stomach. The horror dawned instantly. "That's no costume."

Both guys backed away slowly and disappeared into the crowd. Raziel narrowed one eye in an expression of a smirk. This wasn't so bad. Even though they had been afraid, at least they didn't run away screaming.

After a few minutes, a white-haired man with a red and black outfit wandered up to Raziel. "Two guys just apologized for not believing that I really am who I said I was. I take it that you had something to do with that."

Raziel shrugged. "It's possible. I really couldn't say for sure."

The man leaned against the wall next to Raziel. "You're obviously far from home. How are you handling it?"

"Who are you?" Raziel asked, mentally questioning why he hadn't become suspicious earlier.

He frowned. "Dante. I'm surprised you haven't heard of me."

"It's surprising that no one's recognized me yet. My name is…"

"Raziel!" someone suddenly shouted. The wraith noticed a half-dozen girls coming in his direction. "I told you it was him," the one in the lead said.

Raziel's eyes widened in alarm. He had not expected them to gang up on him like this. He shoved Dante at his fangirls and forced his way through the exit.

Raziel was clinging to the wall above their heads when his fangirls came running past. Raziel shook his head in wonder. He thought he had heard the word 'cute' among their excited babble.

Dante came stalking out of the building a moment later. He glanced up at Raziel and scowled. Dante disappeared in a burst of light, and in his place stood a red monster. Raziel leapt at the creature as it flew up towards him. It hit the wall with a satisfying 'crack' and fell to the pavement below. Raziel decided to leave well enough alone and ran as Dante slowly got back to his feet.

Raziel rounded a corner and found Kain and Azrael talking to a small group of people.

"Oh no, there's two of them?" one of the guys asked. "One whiner was bad enough."

Raziel turned to Kain, "One of yours, I assume."

"It could be worse," Kain said, smiling cruelly. "Kigon here is actually one of the more civilized ones."

Raziel joined in conversation with some of the people in the group. He found that these people weren't so bad, it was just some bizarre stroke of bad luck that had caused him to run into nothing but hyper-obsessed fangirls at first.

"There he is!" a familiar voice shouted. Raziel turned around to find that the hyper-obsessed fangirls had found him again, but this time their numbers had grown to fifteen.

"There's two of them!" another one shouted as they saw the two versions of Raziel standing next to one another.

Raziel stiffened in panic. He noticed how the small group of civilized fans had suddenly dispersed. "Run!" Raziel told Azrael.

The fangirls were getting nearer. "Kill Kain!" one of them gleefully shouted.

The former emperor took this as his cue to teleport away. He had a feeling that clashing with this mob would mean much more than getting his hair pulled; not that he wanted that to happen again, either.

As Raziel was running, it occurred to him that he could just change forms and fly away, but he did not want to abandon Azrael to this horde. Raziel knew from personal experience that there were far worse fates, but the prospect still did not sound pleasant.

Raziel saw a convenient escape route. "This way," he told Azrael.

Raziel leapt onto a wall and dug his left talon into the cracked concrete. He grabbed Azrael's arm with his right talon as the vampire leapt up beside him. Then Raziel used his unnatural strength Azrael's remaining momentum to propel the vampire up to the ledge. Raziel was glad that evolution had already ensured that Azrael was lighter than he should be, or else the wall might not have supported both of them.

The vampire pulled Raziel up to stand beside him on the ledge. They waved at the frantically screaming fangirls below them.

"Now what do we do?" Azrael asked.

"I don't know," Raziel replied. "Hopefully they'll get bored and wander off."

After an hour of listening to the fangirls' desperate pleas, Azrael began stalking along the ledge. "I see a way down," he said.

The ledge continued around the corner of the building and over a high fence. Both characters had no trouble with dropping to the ground on the far side of the fence, leaving the rejected fangirls stranded on the opposite side.

Raziel returned to his human form and began happily humming his theme song.

"What are you grinning about?" Azrael asked.

"I'm not sure," Raziel admitted. "Even though we were running from a bunch of psychopaths, it was fun."