Warning: Spoilers in the Disclaimer. I don't own the rights to anything LOK related. I also don't own Sesame Street. I also don't own the voice actors. (I know about the rule against putting real living actors in a fan-fiction, but since I'm only talking about them and things that they've actually done, instead of physically putting them into a false situation, I think I should be able to get away with it.) On that note, I would apologize to Michael Bell for all the comments that I made about him, except that if I were truly sorry, then I wouldn't do it. So I hope that he and the rest of the actors have enough of a sense of humor about themselves to be able to put up with the existence of this fic.
Another Note: I am suffering from a terrible block, among other things. While I think that trying to make Janos do something that he didn't want to do was a contributing factor, that doesn't explain why my other projects are giving me problems. Though I'm going to do what I can to keep this fic from dying, the next chapter is probably going to suffer from a delay whilst I struggle with a different project. I'm not holding out for more reviews, but they do cheer me up. Also, since Iwas trying to tie this story off, any new fan-invasion requests might not get granted.
Varyssa: How about this... Nevermind, even I'm not that cruel.
Lunatic Pandora1: It's something that needed to be done. I do have parts ofwhat Janos is doing in my head, it's just that I rarely find them interesting enough to insert into the story.
Zaran: Oops. Sorry about the rabid comment. Hopefully I'll guess your gender correctly or else I'll be embarrassed again.
Northstar1982: A lot of people seem to pegg my story as something stupid. Oh well, it's their loss because I can't think of any better way to describe it.
Jennifer cautiously crept halfway down the stairs and called softly, "Magnus, I've got some clothes for you."
Magnus slowly stepped out of the shadows. He was no longer limping ungainly, but instead carried himself like a proud warrior. Jagged white scars crisscrossed his ivory skin. They shone brightly where the light hit Magnus' scalp. The metal eye patch had been removed, so his bright yellow eye was balanced with a hollow socket. "Why don't you come closer, my dear?" he purred.
Jennifer started trembling. Something in his tone had reminded her of just how edible she was. "Stay back!" Jennifer yelled as she threw the clothes at Magnus. She bolted back up the stairs and slammed the door.
Magnus frowned. He didn't think that he deserved to be treated like that. He picked up one of the boots. They were soft, and had been well used, but it was still an insult to be hit with them. Magnus set aside the shoes and found the pants.
Magnus cast off his ragged trousers and dressed himself. The pants were black, and in a course material. It was a pleasant surprise to find how comfortable they were. The shirt had short sleeves and was also black, but it had some sort of writing on it. Magnus struggled for a moment with the barely-recognizable characters, until he figured out that it said, 'Runs with Scissors.' Magnus puzzled over this while he shrugged into the shirt.
After Magnus stamped into the boots, he looked over some of the leftover articles of clothing. There was a dark-blue fleece hat, and an eye patch. Magnus checked his reflection in a tarnished mirror and decided that though he didn't necessarily need the hat, he probably should wear the eye patch.
Magnus climbed up the stairs. He cautiously opened the door and made his way through the house. Jennifer saw him as he was coming down the hallway.
"Don't come any closer," Jennifer said stiffly as she summoned a ball of violet energy.
"I don't intend to," Magnus said, indicating the sunlight slanting through a window.
Azrael came up behind Jennifer and gently squeezed past her. "She is not to be harmed," Azrael told Magnus.
"Why should I listen to you?" Magnus asked.
"I heard that you once served Lord Kain," Azrael said smoothly.
"If I had the chance, I still would," Magnus said proudly. "I was his best."
"Was," Azrael said with a sneer. "You've been demoted. I am his second-in-command, and you will follow my orders."
Magnus scowled with his good eye. "I don't believe you. I won't follow you unless the Leader says otherwise."
Azrael's cool gaze turned sinister. With supernatural speed, Azrael leapt on Magnus and knocked him to the floor.
"Careful!" Jennifer screamed at Azrael. "He just healed. I don't want him hurt again so quickly."
Magnus struggled a little, but then went limp in submission.
"If you harm Jennifer in any way, or even threaten her, I will spend the next month slowly removing every inch of skin from your body," Azrael hissed with cold authority. He then released Magnus and walked away.
Magnus just sat there on the floor. Finally, he said, "No wonder I was beaten. I am weak."
"You just have a habit of taking on more than you can handle," Jennifer said. She walked towards Magnus, but stopped in the pool of sunlight. "Azrael is much older and more powerful than Kain was when he was your master. You and Azrael both served the same function, but Azrael probably didn't do anything reckless like you did. Kain would not fault you for listening to Azrael or Raziel."
"But Raziel once tried to kill the Leader," Magnus argued.
"Actually, it was several times, but most of it was what Kain wanted," Jennifer said. She then turned to walk away. "You can stay in the basement as long as you want."
Jennifer and Raziel sat on the couch watching Stargate. Raziel frowned as he stared at the screen in confusion. "There's something familiar about that guy."
"What do you mean?" Jennifer asked.
"I can't quite put my finger on it," Raziel said, his frown deepening. Then he noticed the very strange look that Jennifer was giving him.
"That's Rene Aber…" Jennifer groped in the air as if trying to grab the missing syllables, but then gave up. "Anyway, he's Janos' voice actor."
Raziel stared at the screen for a long moment, confusion still lining his features. "I thought that the games were made with computers."
"They use real people to do the voices," Jennifer explained.
"That guy doesn't sound like Janos," Raziel said.
"Most people can change their voice at least a little bit. He's better at it than some of the others." Jennifer said. She stared at the television for a moment before saying, "I'm actually surprised that you recognized him and not Tony Jay."
"Why would I recognize him?" Raziel asked.
"Well, it's almost always obvious when it's him. He did Mortainius in Blood Omen, then later he voiced the squid," Jennifer said. "You did not seem to notice it."
"He sounded like Mortainius," Raziel mused.
"Yeah, but you also didn't hear it when he voiced that beholder, or in those Civil War documentaries," Jennifer pointed out.
Just then, Janos came wandering into the room. He glanced at the television in mild half-interest and asked, "What are you watching?"
"Stargate," Raziel said.
"Is this based off of reality, or another made-up story?" Janos questioned.
"It's fictional," Raziel answered.
Janos nodded in satisfaction and wandered into the kitchen. Raziel turned to Jennifer, who was turning red from trying not to burst out laughing. Raziel wondered just how long she could go without breathing.
Jennifer regained her composure just long enough to draw a shuddering breath before her shoulders started shaking again. Raziel huffed in impatience. Janos had obviously seen his supposed voice actor without noticing anything out of the ordinary.
After several minutes, Jennifer calmed down enough to speak without bursting into laughter. "He didn't see it," she quietly squeaked.
"Because there's nothing to see," Raziel said. "You can stop with the joke, it's not funny."
Jennifer sobered instantly. "It's not a joke. There's proof on the discs."
"You're not to try it on anyone else," Raziel said sternly, still not believing.
The next morning, Jennifer found Raziel watching the outtakes. He was staring at the screen with a singularly offended gaze.
Jennifer made some noises as if she was going to say something, but she wasn't sure what to say.
"It isn't that he's 'a sixty-year-old cocker' as he so elegantly put it," Raziel said, waving a hand at the screen. "He's a complete lunatic."
Jennifer grinned nervously. "How much have you seen?"
"All of it," Raziel said, ejecting the disc from the machine. Instead of following his urge to snap it in half, he carefully pressed the disc back into its case.
"Are you going to be all right?" Jennifer questioned.
"I've discovered far worse things than this," Raziel said. Still, he gave the boxes a sour look before setting them back on the shelf.
"Raziel," Jennifer said sternly, "he's one of the most talented voice actors available."
Raziel snorted lightly. "Am I supposed to feel honored? He's still crazy."
"All that angst would have driven anyone nuts," Jennifer huffed. "Any normal person, that is."
Raziel decided to end the argument. "You're not to show this to anyone else. I know Janos doesn't like it when we keep things from him, but I don't think that he should see it."
"I don't think he'd believe it, anyway. He's stubborn about things like that," Jennifer said.
Several days later, Raziel tagged along with Jennifer as she went to the fabric store. She had gotten an order for more D&D monsters. The shopkeeper had said that the beholders and displacer beasts were selling well, but the vargouilles were not. He had ordered some new monsters instead. The new creatures were ethereal marauders, rust monsters, and gnolls.
Raziel quickly became bored and amused himself by examining the different types of buttons that were available. Fortunately, Jennifer quickly found what she needed. Raziel stared at one of her shopping bags curiously. It contained a great amount of blue, shaggy fur. Raziel knew that it wasn't for any of the monsters on the list.
"What's the fur for?" Raziel questioned.
"I'm going to make a coat," Jennifer said gleefully. "I once watched a kids' show about a lady that was looking for a furry, blue coat. The clerk kept bringing her furry coats and blue coats, but there weren't any furry, blue coats. Then Cookie Monster wandered in and the lady was delighted. She wrapped his arms around herself and told the clerk to put it on her charge account. Both Cookie Monster and the clerk were so dumbfounded that they didn't have a chance to tell her that he wasn't a coat. This fur is exactly the right color and texture."
Raziel stared at Jennifer for a long moment, trying to think of a way to respond to that. Finally, he asked, "Who was Cookie Monster?"
Jennifer thought for a moment. "The show was called, 'Sesame Street,' and instead of hiding in dark places like in closets and under the bed, the monsters would walk freely through the street and have the same simple problems that kids have. Cookie Monster loved cookies, and he would eat them every chance he got."
"Why use monsters at all if they're not going to act monstrous?" Raziel asked.
"That was part of the point. They wanted to show the kids that there was nothing to be afraid of." Jennifer thought for a moment. "That's really an unhealthy attitude."
Raziel nodded in agreement. "In Nosgoth, I happened to notice that parents took great efforts to make sure that their children were afraid of us."
"But that was a world were dangerous things did go bump in the night," Jennifer said. She then noticed a toy store. "Hey, I could show you exactly what Cookie Monster looks like."
They walked into the toy store and Jennifer quickly found the right isle. "Let's see… Elmo, Elmo, I hate Elmo," she muttered to herself.
Raziel eyed the little red monster, "Why?"
"I quit watching Sesame Street when he was just Tellie's little cousin from out-of-town," Jennifer said. "Now he seems more important than Kermit." Jennifer picked up a Cookie Monster doll. "His eyes don't googol. How is he supposed to be able to do the googol bugle if his eyes don't googol?"
Raziel shuddered and quickly walked out of the store, forcing Jennifer into a jog to keep up with him. Raziel noticed that whenever Jennifer talked about her childhood, she would temporarily regress in maturity.
"Sorry, I forgot that you were never a kid," Jennifer panted.
"It's not that," Raziel said. "It's just a little bit scary when you start acting like a child."
Jennifer stuck her tongue out at Raziel. It was immature, but also a small act of defiance against his sensibilities.