Chapter 2

Loneliness in a Crowd

About an hour later we all met back up in the stage cloths that my mom had designed especially for us. Tamaki was wearing a light purple v neck with a formal white vest that not only put an emphasis on his princely style, but also brought out his golden hair and violet eyes. For pants he chose to wear regular lose fitting pressed jeans with a chain, and on the chain he had his regular lucky king crown charms. So Tamaki. Mori, who probably could care less for whatever he wears, was wearing a deep red t shirt with a black and white plaid scarf with lose fitted worn out jeans with a couple rips here and there and a thick heavy chain. Honey was wearing his cutesy light pink shirt with some white lacy ruffles at the bottom. For his pants he wore a pair of cute capris that had a design of a bunny on one leg. And like always, he had his stuffed rabbit, Usa-chan firmly griped in his hands.

Of course Hikaru and I had corresponding out fits, like always, especially since our own mother was the fashion designer behind all of our costumes and cloths. Hikaru was wearing black skinny jeans with a striking orange tee shirt and a white jacket over it with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I was also wearing black skinny jeans, but with a sky blue t shirt and my favorite black and white striped fingerless gloves that covered most of my arms. We were also both wearing black boots and corresponding key and lock necklaces. And of coarse, I'm the locket. I rolled my eyes. Wasn't the necklaces a little suggestive, mom?

Since we are "The Host" Tamaki wanted us to not only play great music, but also take on the mysterious roles of made up hosts. For example, Tamaki is the prince charming type, Honey is the boy Lolita type, Mori is the wild type, and Kyouya is the shadow king. For Hikaru and I, well… we have two "selling points", as Tamaki likes to call them; the little devil/ mischievous type (because the pranks we pull) and the forbidden brotherly love act (because we are twins and Tamaki is a sucker for tragic, forbidden romances). The title "little devils" fit us really well, but the brotherly love act was simply an act. Although it was just an act it sure made the girls go crazy!

After looking around at everyone Kyouya smirked, "Well, looks like we are actually ready. And on time too. Alright, we will be heading on stage in about an hour, go take a break." I decided to take this golden opportunity to sneak off, away from everyone else, especially Hikaru and have some alone time. It takes too much mental energy to lie to him. While wondering around the set I found a dark abandoned dressing room in the back of a small theater. 'This will do', I thought to myself as I push my back against the door, closing it quietly. I let out a sigh of relief as I slowly slide down to the ground. Although I hate being by myself and feeling lonely, it's better feeling lonely when you are actually alone then when you are surrounded by others. Some how, it just makes you feel even lonelier. I slowly pulled my knees up to my chest and hide my face in my knees before I let the tears come out. 'Why am I crying? What is there to be so sad about? I have everything! Fame, money, friends… a great twin brother who I can count on. Then why do I fell this way? Why do I feel so empty? Why do I have to feel so alone?' It was a lie, and I knew it. You may be able to lie to your friends, your family, heck, even the world! But sadly, you can't lie to your self. I knew perfectly well, why I was crying. Because even though I had all these great things, I still felt alone and lost without Hikaru by my side.

"Kaoru… Kaoru? Were are you?" I'm surprised to hear Hikaru's voice coming down the hall towards the door I'm hiding behind. Suddenly, I could hear a pair of heavy boots stop right in front of my door and my breath got stuck in my throat, 'I cannot let him see me like this, maybe he will go look somewhere else if I just stay-'

"Kaoru, I know you are hiding behind this door. Make this easier on your self and let me in." I held my breath as I continued to sit completely still. I waited for what seemed like forever, which I knew it wasn't, since I definitely can't hold my breath that long. Nothing happened, maybe he did go away. Believing this, I allowed myself to let out a sigh of relief when, "Alright Kaoru, you left me with no choice because I'm going to come in rather you like it or not."

'Oh, crap! He can't come in here and see me like this! Come on Kaoru, think of something! Umm, umm…' I looked around the empty room, great no where to hide.

"This is your last warning," Hikaru placed his hand in the door knob and it began to turn…

"Wait!" I screamed in panic. My heart is pounding and my breath is coming in ragged swallows, as if I just ran I mile. Realizing that he was still waiting I took a deep breath to hide the panic in my voice, "You can't come in right now."

"Kaoru?" he said softly, his voice, similar to mine, was muffled a little by the door. His concern quickly turned into anger, "Why the hell not?! You have been acting strange for a couple of weeks now and I want you to let me in and tell me why! We are god damn twins and I have the right to know whats going on with my brother!"

Shakily I pull my legs closer to my chest, "Hikaru… Not now, okay?"

"Why!" he yelled through the door, stomping his foot. Then with a voice laced with sarcasm he asked "Are you too busy right now? What? Too busy fucking around by your self in that room to talk to your own TWIN!?"

Ding, I just got an idea! Thank you Hikaru, but dear God, this better work or else this is going to be very very embarrassing. Still not believing in what I'm about to say I took a deep breath, "Um… Well, you see…" I took another deep breath for good measures, "I have a problem that I, uh, need to take care of by myself, alone, and um… I'd like to take care of this problem before we go on stage… so if you don't mind…" Saying something so embarrassing, even if it was a lie, still made me blush. Gawd, lying to my older brother about having a boner, what has my life come too? I hope he would get the hint and just leave already.

There is silence behind the door for a second before Hikaru speaks again, "Ha ha, oh, I get it. Is that why you've been acting so distant lately? You where just looking for a good time to let out all that pent up energy, huh? Ha ha, sorry for delaying you, we can talk when you finish." There was awkward silence. 'Thank God he believed me!' And just when I thought everything was okay I heard Hikaru shuffle a little out side the door as he pressed his body against the door. "Kaoru, I appreciate the effort, but I can tell when you'er lying to me," and with that he shoved the door open and pushed himself in.

~Aki Autter