Chapter 3

Dressing room

Being that I had been leaning against the door when Hikaru decide to shove it open, I found my self sprawled out on the hard cold concrete floor. I groaned in discomfort, being shoved onto the floor was not much fun. "Wow! Sorry Kaoru, I had no idea that you were right behind the door!" he said as he walked closer to me and knelt down to my level. I sat up and bowed me head letting my bangs cover my face in a sad attempt to hide the fact that I had been crying. Thank God it was dark enough in the room that Hikaru couldn't see my face clearly.

"Hey," he said softly as he placed a warm hand on my shoulder. Without really meaning to, I flinched away from his touch. "Kaoru," he whispered in a concerned voice, "whats wrong? What is it? Whats so bad that you can't tell your own brother?" I heard him shuffle a little as he sat down on the floor beside me. Great, now he's not leaving. Hesitantly he wrapped his warm arms around me, but I refused to look up at him.

Realizing that I wan't planing on telling him anything, he bowed his head close to mine and whispered, "Come on, Kaoru, tell me." I just sat there and tried to ignore him, but it was getting hard. Seeing that I was starting to struggle with ignoring him, Hikaru continued to coax me, " I promise I won't tell anyone," he smirked against my neck. With his arms still wrapped around my waist, he pulled me into his lap, "we've known each other our whole life." Then with a sudden serious cold voice he asked, "What's with this sudden distance?"

Distance? Distance! That stupid Hikaru! Didn't he realize that he was also a part of this? That all relationships were a two way street? This was just like Hikaru, to blame every one else. He's the one that had been acting so different lately! He's the one that's like a whole new person! This person may look like my Hikaru, walk like my Hikaru, and sound like my Hikaru, but this person was not him. The problem is that he's changing and I can't handle it anymore. I'm not even sure I can say that I recognize this person anymore. He's just changing so fast, maybe faster than I can keep up. But I couldn't tell him that, no, never in a million years would I admit this to my brother. It was simply just too selfish. Although I know it is selfish, I still wish that we could be like how we used to be; alone together, in our own world. I'm proud of Hikaru for growing up and opening up to other people, but were does that leave me?

Lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized that I was trembling in my twin's arms. Trying to comfort me, he pulled me closer so that I was leaning into his chest and he whispered, "Hey, Kaoru. It's okay. Whatever it is I'm sure it'll work out and everything will be okay." If only you knew Hikaru, if only you knew. I felt him shuffled a bit under me as he pulled one of his legs out from under me and up closer to his chest. With me resting my back against his chest he slid his hand from were it had been tightly hugging my waist to the bottom of my t shirt. He hummed softly as he played with the edge of my shirt between his thumb and his forefinger. We sat like that for a while as I felt myself slowly relaxing in his arms. Hikaru always knew what to do to make me feel better. It only made our falling out even more bittersweet.

I was so relaxed that I thought I was going to fall asleep, snuggled with my brother. Drowned in relaxation I barely noticed that he had stopped humming and instead was breathing hard against my neck. His breath was warm and uneven on my neck. I felt him brushed his hot lips against the back of my neck. The sensation of feeling something so warm on the back of my neck caused me to shiver slightly. His graceful fingers griped the pice of my t shirt that he had been playing with and tugged on it slightly.

Unsure what was going on I tried to turn my head to look at him, "Hikaru?" But as soon as I turned my head to look at him, he stopped me by hungrily brushing his lips against my jaw, causing me gasp sharply. "Hikaru? What are you do-" then I felt it. As he slowly slid his warm hand inside my shirt and up my stomach I felt it. My brother was hard? Still unsure as to what to do, I tried again, "Uh um… Hikaru?"

"Kaoru," he moaned softly into my ear as he rubbed his problem area against my back. Then he softly pulled my chin over my solder so that our eyes met. His bright golden eyes held a mix of confusion and lust. He moved his face closer to mine, his warm breath hitting my lips. His lips were mere centimeters away and I was completely frozen. As I sat there completely frozen in place, I silently freaked out inside my head, what should I do? What's going on? Was he going to kiss me? Was my own twin going to kiss me? He softly pressed his warm forehead to my own and I instantly tilted my head towards his. What was I doing? Do I want him to kiss me? Wasn't this wrong? Did I even care? He slowly slid his eyes close and began to close the space between his lips and mine. I felt the excitement shoot through my body. Oh, god! Hikaru is going to kiss-

"Hikaru! Kaoru! Where are you?! The show is going to start soon!" Honey's sweet childish voice echoed down the hall. His rapid foot steps getting louder and louder.

Hikaru suddenly jumped up and muttered under his breath, "fucking cock blocker," as he brushed off his clothes. He then reached out a hand to me, who was still sitting completely frozen and confused. "Come on, Kaoru," he smirk down at me, "lets go knock them dead!" He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me out the door and into the dark hallway. As we reached the end of the hall, he pulled me close and whispered into my ear, "Don't think I've forgotten about our little talk, we'll just have to do that at the after party later."

"There you guys are! We've been looking all over for you!" Honey shouted. "We need to get going!" We all took off towards to giant auditorium were the rest of the Hosts waited.

Once back stage I could hear the audience in the crowd, I looked over at Kyouya, "Hey, Kyouya, how many are out there tonight?"

He looked over at me with a smirk, "Enough." Then with a slightly annoyed expression he asked, "By the way, if you don't mind me asking, where were you and Hikaru?"

Hikaru came up behind me with a huge smirk on his face and put his arm around my shoulder, "Now, why would you want to know that, Kyouya?" Kyouya glanced at him with a really annoyed expression that time.

Trying to prevent conflict Honey piped in, "I found them alone in a dark empty dressing room over in the west wing." Every one looked at Hikaru and I with shocked expressions. Great, now they've all got the wrong idea. But was it really the wrong idea? I mean, we did nearly kiss, didn't we? I looked over at my brother and I could have sworn that I saw Hikaru blush. I looked over at Kyouya, who was giving him his all famous shadow king glare. I shivered. Kyouya was scary when he was mad, so as a safety rule, Hikaru and I never play pranks on him.

With that everyone went back to setting up. I looked up as I felt the spot lights turn on over head. They were looking down at me, judging me. Watching me while I stand up out there and lie to the world. While I pretend to be a happy, normal, lively teenage boy who lives for his music. Ha! What a joke.

~Aki Autter