Her mind was chaos. That was all that it was, and it managed to make her question her very identity. Images, thoughts, and words floated through her brain. They were all of the same man...a man she couldn't seem to identify, but she knew that she loved him, and that he had somehow hurt her.

"What a relief! I have never been so happy to see you guys." She said, donning the strange clothing that her teammates were wearing.

He smiled with amusement. "Oh, sure you have, remember that time on P3X-595, you drank that stuff that made you take off..."

She coughed. "We won't get into that now…"

What she wouldn't give for that memory now!

The man with the graying brown hair and the smile that made her weak at the knees interrupted the floppy-haired archaeologist. "All right, wait a minute, let me get something straight. Engaged?" He asked, motioning between himself and her.

"It is theoretically possible." She said, heatedly.

"It's against regulations." He retorted.

"I'm talking physics, sir."

Physics? Was she a scientist? Regulations? Was she a soldier?

Flashes of physical and emotional pain overwhelmed her as she watched him walk out of the room. "Oh God, he's telling you the truth! Please, Jack!" He knocked more insistently on the door. "No, Jack, please! Don't leave me, please! Give me a chance! Don't leave me like this! Please!"

--

"She's seizing!" Janet said, watching the unconscious Sam begin to convulse.

"Can you do something for her?" Jack asked, almost afraid of what her answer would be.

"We can sure as hell try." She said, before turning to the nurses. "I need ten CCs of Oxcarbazepine. STAT!"

--

"Can you do something for her?" His voice echoed in the hollow walls of her mind, calling her back to this existence.

"You working through the night again?" The good doctor said, handing her a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, Lot of work to do...thank you."

She could feel a concerned eye studying her. "Look Sam, there's no doubt you are going to solve this, but you have to accept the fact it's going to take time."

"Yeah, well, if I think that way, it could take months."

"Daniel says the Tollan could have a ship in the vicinity of Edora some time early next year."

She was nearly crying, as she contemplated not seeing him for another six months or so. "He shouldn't have to wait that long." She said, forcing them down.

"You miss him."

She considered denying it, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. "Yeah."

"Is this a problem?"

She quickly returned to soldier mode. "No, No...Of course not."

Was what a problem? She asked herself. None of these snippets were telling her anything that she wanted to know. She was almost trapped in her own mind. And it was going to slowly make her crazy. She needed to feel his gaze on her. She needed to hear his voice. She needed him.

"How'd Colonel O'Neill take it?" She asked, as she sat down on the bed, preparing to go to sleep.

"He didn't." Daniel said, a weary and even sad look on his face.

"What?"

"He's going to go through with the procedure." Janet explained, a soft look of pain on her features.

"What? He can't!" She protested, standing up and almost ready to attack someone or something.

"He's on his way down now." Daniel said, trying to stay strong.

"Why is he doing this?"

"He said he'd rather take the risk instead of being put to sleep indefinitely."

"But Astor—" She began. Janet cut her off.

"If it happens he thinks Anise can use what she would learn to save you."

Her eyes widened in horror as she saw Jack walk past, guarded by a number of SFs. She pushed past her friends only to get blockaded by the SFs guarding her own door.

"Sam. . . ." Daniel pleaded.

"Colonel!" She had to tell him. He had to know. He couldn't…

He gave her one look and that was all that it took. She knew that nothing could change his mind. She turned around to find her friends standing behind her, powerless to stop the inevitable. "You have to stop him!"

"It's his choice." Daniel reminded her.

Her heart hurt from the emotion wrenched out of her. She couldn't remember the man's name, but she knew that she loved him. More than life itself.

His voice echoed once again through her mind. "It's a cliché, but there you have it…"

He hated clichés. And somehow, she got the feeling that he hated her.

She shrank back. "You're not Jack O'Neill."

"And you know who Jack O'Neill is?"

She started to get somewhat defiant. "Yes. As a matter of fact I do."

"As well as he knew you?" He spat back, laying the trump card on the table.

"I never meant to hurt you." She whispered, retreating back into her mind. "You're the last person I would want to hurt."

He grabbed her wrist and she was pulled from her safe place back into the battleground. "Keep telling yourself that." He whispered, pulling her close as he rocked her back and forth wildly. "Because this is going to be worse than Netu."

A sharp pain in her side like a goa'uld pain stick caught her by surprise. She screamed and when she was finished screaming, she inhaled something that smelled like burning flesh. Her head started spinning with dizziness and her stomach started turning with nausea. The pain didn't end, however, like a normal pain stick. It continued, and managed to intensify. "STOP IT JACK!" She yelled through her tears. "PLEASE! JACK!"

--

"She's going into defib!" Janet announced. "Get the cart!"

Jack just watched in horror. She was dying. She was going to die, and they hadn't resolved any of the issues surrounding their sudden detachment.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry that I hurt you." He whispered. "I forgive you. And I want…no, Carter, I NEED you to come back."

--

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry that I hurt you." He whispered. "I forgive you. And I want…no, Carter, I NEED you to come back."

She had floated away before she'd heard those words, walking toward a light. It had entranced her, almost able to force her to follow, but his voice, even just a whisper, had the power to renounce death.

At long last, she heaved a heavy breath entirely on her own.

--

"Stop." Janet said, the paddles of the defibrillator in her hands as the heart monitor picked up a heart beat and the body moved drastically in suggestion of her own animation.

They pulled the wires and tubes from her body as she coughed, breath returning to her previously lifeless body.

"Colonel." She managed.

Janet looked over at the surprised man standing only a few feet away. "She's asking for you, sir."

"Carter."

"You…you saved me." She asserted, eyes firmly shut and body readjusting to its life-filled state.

She went into a dreamless sleep as Janet and Jack exchanged looks of surprise and relief.