I stepped out onto the familiar streets of Paris for the first time in two weeks. It was lightly sprinkling outside, but I didn't care. It felt so invigorating to breathe the fresh air and see the sky. A twisted ceiling had only been my only sky to look at.
I quickly made my way home. I was too nervous after my audition to seek out Erik again or to even inquire if my bold move had been a triumph or a failure. I didn't doubt for one second that M. Gabriel would be very reluctant to let me into the chorus, no matter how well I sang. And I was so excited to be outside of Erik's house and free to come and go as I pleased.
I expected to find Madame in her usual place in the sitting room, a fire roaring on this cold November evening. When I entered the house I called out softy to Madame, for I did not want to make my presence known to everyone that might be in the house. No one was in the sitting room or any of the other rooms of the lower level.
I called for Michelle and when no answer came I went directly to the kitchen. It was a mess, with filthy pans lying on the counters and a mass of empty cups and glasses. It would have been her baking day today, but there was no sign of any cooking.
My room remained the same, and with no sign of anyone at home. I returned to the sitting room to start a fire. There was no coffee or tea in the larder. So with my cup empty, I returned to the sitting room and placed a wrapper over my legs. I fell asleep for a moment, only to be awaken by the cold.
I saw the fire had gone out and I felt the chill in the air. I should have been disappointed that I had begged to return to my home only to not have any one to greet me. I sighed and went to my room. I looked myself over in the mirror; for once admiring the fine clothes I had been given. I retrieved a jacket from my wardrobe.
Looking around my room, I compared it to the one Erik had prepared for me. The closets full of clothes and drawers of accessories that I had first looked at with disdain. I compared my two rooms and realized both of them; despite their different surroundings, they were both prisons. Erik had designed a beautiful room with all the trimming to keep me satisfied, but it was no more than a gilded cage to keep me locked away from the outside. Here in my cramped room, I had designed my own prison cell; to keep the outside away.
I had to admit, despite all reason I longed for my beautiful prison cell more than this room. I knelt next to my bed and reached underneath to touch my father's violin. I was relived to see it was still there. After my necklace had been stolen, I lived with the fear that Frederich would have found the violin and sold it as well
A sense of dread filled me suddenly. Why wasn't there anyone home?
"Ah…Christine. It's so good to see you again." Frederich's voice echoed behind me. My whole body froze at the sound.
"And from this angle…" he added in a husky whisper. I would have blushed if I had not been filled with terror at the moment. I knew that Frederich despite his bold attempts so far, wouldn't dare come up to my room when I was alone. Not unless he was sure that he wouldn't be caught.
I stood up quickly. "Where is Madame?" I asked
He frowned. "Is that anyway to greet me after you have been away for so long?"
"Please, Frederich I want to know were your aunt is. I came back to see her!"
His frame almost filled the door way. His arms were crossed in front of him, making him an intimidating obstacle. "Of course you did. I knew that you ran away from me Christine, but in doing so you broke my poor aunt's heart." He answered in a mocking tone.
"What's happened to her? Where is she?" My hands hung in tight fists at my side. My whole body was tense with anger and fear.
"Not here." He replied his eyes still locked on me. "Poor girl took down with the chill or pneumonia… I can't remember all the detail. Nasty stuff. So I being the devoted nephew took her to the hospital for her to recover."
My heart sank. "She is sick?"
He grinned. "Dreadfully so." He informed me with a laugh. He stepped over the threshold into my room. Because of its small size we were now only a few feet apart form each other. He still blocked the door and even moving at my quickest pace, I wouldn't be able to get past.
"Tell me, where have you run off to?" I tried to side step him, but he anticipated my move and matched it. "To be with…a lover?"
I didn't answer, but looked at him shocked. I tried again to move, this time backwards, but he shot out a hand and caught my wrist.
"Ah you silence speaks louder than your words." He twisted my wrist to let me know his intent. " Who is he?" he asked.
"Let…me go." I pleaded, wishing for all the world to be away from this place. I would have traded an eternity in the cellars of the opera if only to avoid this cruel moment.
His hands moved so fast that I did not even realized what was happening until I felt the hard smack across my cheek. It was enough to knock me off balance, but Frederich caught me in his arms before I reached the floor. One hand grabbed at my blouse and with hard angry yanks, broken the buttons exposing my flesh underneath.
I fought back, pushing against his chest with my hands. He only laughed at my efforts. "Christine, how dare you have a lover, when we both know you belong to me!" He exclaimed. At this I took his ears in my hands and turned my fingers into the soft flesh behind them, tearing at the skin with my nails. He shouted in pain, and then grimaced at me. I received another slap across my face. This one was hard enough to knock me over. I feel backwards on the bed, my hand pressed to the side of my face now stinging with pain.
Frederich turned my over so that my stomach fell flat against the bed.
"No…"I cried. "Stop it please!"
He chuckled an awful sinister sound. "Please? You said please? Don't make me laugh Christine." His body was now pressed on top of mine. He had pushed me so that my knees sagged to the floor and my backside hung over the edge of the bed. His mouth closed over my ear, licking and biting it. I moaned.
"Scream all you want Christine. No one will hear you." He told me, before moving his mouth from my ear and down my neck sucking at my flesh. "In fact, I'll enjoy it more if I make you scream." With each horrible kiss, I cried another tear.
"Erik…" I whispered in vain.
Frederich's teeth dug into my back and I gave a wail of pain. His mouth returned to my ear, hissing angry words into them. "Ah so your lover has a name, does he? Well we will see how much your Erik loves you after he sees what I've done to you!" he shouted.
His hands roughly lifted my skirts over me. My body was went red with shame and then I remembered something. I stretched my left arm out as far as it would go, reaching my fingers over the side of the mattress and then under it. Frederich's hand pin my other arm back at my side, but did not noticed. He leaned over me again, this time I could feel his solid member pressing hard against my thigh. I felt sick inside.
The fingers of my left hand finally reach their target. I had prayed it would never have to come to this. That I would have the strength and the means to finally be free of Frederich before he ever had a chance to do something like this to me. I had locked my room, placed a bookcase in front of my door and even after all that, I had hidden a knife between my mattress.
Just in case.
I gripped the blade in my fingers. I waited until I felt my other arm free of Frederich's grip. I heard the sound of his fingers unfastening his belt and then I took in a deep breath, preparing myself.
He observed my still form. "Ah now that's better." He murmured. He moved quicker than I thought he would. In seconds, I could feel him trying to penetrate me. I panicked. I swung around, the knife twist upright in the air. I prayed it would hit something.
His arm was in its path and it sliced across his flesh as I brought it around. He jerked back and cried out more in shock than in pain. I jumped to my feet, but found that my legs were shaking so fiercely that they barely supported me. Yet I gathered my strength and charged at him. Even in his state of dishevelment, he reflexes were lighting quick. He blocked me, thrusting his forearms upward to smash against my raised hands. I dropped the knife and felt it fall. A sharp pain cut through me and my legs finally gave away beneath me. I crumpled to the floor.
Frederich gave a yell of fury. He bent to gather his pants and pull them up. I noticed the knife had fallen only a few feet away. He was again distracted. All reason abandoned me. I thought for a brief moment about the consequences of my actions, and then there was no time for thought.
Lunging across the floor, I grabbed the knife again. Without hesitation I plunged it into Frederich's calf. He yelled even louder, cursing me at the top of his lunges. I left the knife still imbedded in his leg as I stood. One hard kick to his still exposed groin finally knocked him to the floor. I ran out of my room and I did not look back.
Out of the house I had called home I ran blindly through the streets. The light rain from that afternoon was now a down pour. My tears only added themselves to the rain as my feet carried me back to the only place I knew was safe.
I found myself at the artist's entrance of the opera. I made my way inside, knowing that I could not risk bringing unwanted attention to myself. As silently as possible I made my way down into the lower levels beneath the stage. I searched in the darkness for any door or passage that seemed familiar, but my fear only drove me into further confusion.
I spotted a door that I recognized and sighed with joy on finding it unlocked. I was on tenterhooks hoping one of these door would open and somehow magically show my the way back to the house on the lake.
It was only rows of empty costumes that greeted me. I realized the door was one I had opened many times before as part of taking costumes down to the many storage areas. My sorrow and helplessness welled within me and I let out a sob as I collapsed onto the floor.
"Erik…" His name escaped my lips involuntary. But it was useless calling for him here, just as useless as when I called for him in my bedroom. I finally got a good look at myself. When I dropped the knife, it had slid past my skin. I was in such pain over being violated that I had not realized that it had cut me. A long gash was on my right arm and similar wounds over my collar and breast. Thankfully the cut was not deep, but the blood had spilled over my blouse. The button were long gone. I was shocked to see that I had ran all this way with my shirt still ripped open, exposing my bare chest and corset. Sobs of grief and shame escaped my lips and I tried to pull my blouse close to cover me. My whole body shook uncontrollably and I crawled over on the floor. I nestled my head between two large crinoline dresses, to cushion me as I leaned against them.
"Erik…where are you?" I buried my head in my knees and cried. I thought of poor Madame, sick in a hospital. She did not know what had happened to me. I didn't think for a moment that she could have been so sick. Had I known, I would have asked to see her sooner. Now it was too late. I could not return back to that house, knowing that Frederich lay in wait for me.
This was freedom for me. I was free to be hurt, free to be abused and taken advantage of. I was weak, so I came crawling back to a place that I felt safe. I called for my jailer and captor to save me from all the freedoms the world had to offer a weak girl like me.
"Christine…."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shadow of someone entering the room. I prepared myself to be discovered and shamed. A hand reached out and touched my head. In horror I recalled the feel of Frederich's hands groping my body and I flinched. My head jerked up and I saw the familiar black mask and the haunting eyes beneath them meet my gaze.
"Christine?" he asked, shocked at my appearance.
I was lost. I fell into his arms, shaking and sobbing in turn. My clothes were still wet and stuck to my body like thin sheets of paper. My soiled garments and blood stained his waistcoat, but he did not mutter a word of complaint.
Without another word passing between us, he lifted me in his arms and took me once again into the underworld.
With the speed of a devil, I carried Christine back into the cellars. She clung to my chest like a frighten child too exhausted from crying to speak. I had spent the day in a restless haze, wandering aimlessly about the opera. Her audition was a triumph and it was only a matter of time before the pieces of my plan for her finally came together. However, I was consumed with anxiety over letting her leave. I believed in my heart she would eventually come back. She had not tried to escape before. She had promised me.
When I heard my name echo down to the cellars below, I had the faintest hope that it was her. That she had returned. Unfortunately, when I came upon her in the storage rooms of the third cellar, my joy quickly transformed into rage. Without thinking or even asking her permission, I gathered her in my arms and returned home. She did not protest.
We finally arrive and I placed Christine in one of the oversize arm chairs. My cloak rested over it, and I draped it over her tiny frame. She pulled it close to her in appreciation.
"Christine…tell me what happened." I pleaded. She looked up at me, her sapphire eyes rimmed with red from crying. She extended her arms and I saw the fresh blood over one of her sleeves. There was so much blood.
"My God…" I whispered examining her arm. I bent my body so that I was at her side, holding my fingers just below her extended arm. I saw then that parts of my white shirt were now stained red.
"I…I went home. Madame…." She swallowed hard. "She wasn't there…she's sick. She's in the hospital." She bit her lip, trying not to break into tears. " She sick and she didn't know….I didn't know…"
My heart felt for her. "Christine, who did this to you?" I demanded.
She shook her head, afraid to tell me. I nervously darted my eyes across her body. She was injured not only on her arm but on her chest as well. The red marks on her face were not caused simply from crying. She had been struck...assaulted. She needed her wounds cleaned, but she would need to remove her blouse. I knew asking her to do such a thing now would certainly upset her.
"You were raped?" The word felt bitter in my throat, but I had to say it.
"No…No…" she shook her head more rapidly. "He didn't…" She stopped mid sentence. Her eyes widen then narrowed before her cheeks puffed out. She buckled over, bringing a hand to her mouth. With one hand I steadied her at her waist, and brought the other to cover her mouth. She heaved and trembled, spilling warm spittle from her lips.
My mind was filled with only one thought; murder. And if Christine had not been by my side right then, I would have acted on that impulse without a second thought.
She slid off the chair and onto the floor. I caught her again in my arms, letting her tears fall wet upon my shoulders. I was such a creature that I had to beg permission to even touch her, and yet some other man had defiled her as if she were nothing more than a common whore. Despite my care to hold Christine as tenderly as possible, both my mind and my hands wanted to start tearing everything apart with the rage that built up inside me.
"I want…" she started. Then she pushed away from me. I felt pained that she was now suddenly anxious to get free of me.
"I'm disgusting…" she muttered to herself, then looked back at me "Look what I've done!" she exclaimed. "Look what has been done to me." She sobbed.
"Come, let's get you a change of clothes…" I offered.
"No, I'm not clean!" she protested. "I want to be cleaned." She pressed her hands over her face and wept. "I need to be clean…"
I let her cry for a few moments longer. I had been a fool to try and embrace her. I had taken her without her permission and held her close. All this after a man had assault her with his hands. No wonder she backed away from me. No wonder she was repulsed by my touch now. As if it had not been appalling enough before.
"Erik…could I have a bath?" she asked. I was surprised by her blunt request. "Can I? Do you…have the means…please…?"
I stood up, taking the cloak that she had left on the chair and placing it once again over her shoulders. Her blouse had been ripped open and the top of her breasts lay exposed. Her skirts were soaked with rain water. She must have been freezing.
"Yes. It will be a moment. Why don't you go to your room and change…" She nodded and leaped up before I could finish. She was eager to rid herself of her ruined clothes. I heard the door to her room shut behind me and I started to gather the things I need. I did keep a copper bathing vessel in my house. My lack of indoor plumbing made the luxury of a bath somewhat difficult to attain. The tub had been used as a prop in an opera that I managed to acquire and bring to my home. I then gathered buckets and fetched water from the lake.
At first thought, one could see a lady objecting to bathing in water such as this, but the lake was connected to the rivers of Paris, not its sewers. Surely I would not live next to a sewer if I had my choice in the matter. Half of it I poured into the vessel, the other I placed in large pans over my small stove. In a few minutes it was boiling and I brought it to the tub to bring the water to a tolerably temperature.
Christine emerged from her room. From my position on the floor below her, I watched her descend the steps from her door with a tentative pace. She had removed her clothes and was now dressed in a simple shift with a square cut bodice. Her hair was loose about her shoulders. My breath caught in my throat as I noticed the light illuminated the gown so that it revealed the curved silhouette of her body underneath. I turned and moved on of the screens that served to block the sitting room from the kitchen. I positioned it on one side of the tub.
"I apologize for this arrangement." I addressed her without looking at her. "I'm afraid if I carried this upstairs, I wouldn't have the strength to drag it back down full of water."
"No this will do." She said her voice now calm. "Could you help me?"
I wasn't even sure of if I could touch her without loosing my control. I went to her side. Her arms were outstretched to me. She wanted me. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over to the tub. Her skin was hot underneath her shift and even through my gloves, I could feel the warmth of her thigh against my palm. Slowly I placed her gently in the warm water, my own arms sinking in with her. The water spilled over her body, making the fabric of her shift transparent. Quickly I adverted my gaze.
I moved behind the screen, hearing the sound of water splashing. I gave her privacy for many cold silent minutes. Noticing my now wet jacket, I pulled it off and rolled my soaked shirtsleeves up to my elbows. I also removed my gloves and stared at my hands. My male hands. I should have excused myself and left, but I couldn't pull myself away. Not now.
"Christine….there is something I must ask you, even though this might be the most inappropriate time…" my voice started to break. "But I must ask."
"Yes." Christine consented.
"If you stayed here with me, I would have never let anything like this happen to you. Please…please tell me that you don't intend on going back." I begged.
The sound of the water was still. The whole cavernous room was engulfed in silence as I awaited her answer.
"I made you a promise…" she started. "You gave me my freedom after I had hurt you so much." My dear Christine, who humbling took blame for hurting me when I had done much more harm to her. "And only asked that I return to you if I felt unsafe." She breathed deeply. "I was a fool to think Madame could keep me safe when she invited Frederich into our house. I have no true family left…"
I heard the name of her tormentor for the first time. I locked it away in my memory, so that I would never forget it.
"There is no one to protect me." She continued. I could hear her crying through her words. The sound of her weeping tore at me.
"Then do you realize, that I can offer you that protection Christine." I was a monster. I did not deserve this beautiful creature's love or pity. Yet I still begged for it. "Please, say you'll stay with me."
"I will." Her response was immediate and my heart leaped at the sound of those words. Those words I dared to hope for. I want to rush to her side, and pull her body close to me. To kiss away her tears and express to her the joy I felt in my heart.
But I did not. I after all I was still a man, and Christine…was a temptation.
I had given her my promise many times before. I would not touch her. Not in that way.
A large splash echoed through the room. "I need a towel, Erik." I rushed to find her one, and with my eyes lowered I walked around the screen that separated us and approached her. She took the towel from my out stretched hands and wrapped it around her body. Then she turned around to face me, her feet still submerged in the tub.
"Erik…thank you… for." She started.
I placed a finger just in front of her lips, but not touching them. "You should go to bed Christine." I informed her. "We'll have time to talk more in the morning."
Now that you are here, we'll have all the time in the world…
Hope I didn't scare any of you reader away with that chapter (it is rated T) But to clarify Frederich doesn't get to the point were he had full intercourse with Christine.
Oh but what he did was bad enough...and now Erik knows...
Some one is going to get their comeuppances!
Please read and review!