My chest felt tight. I could barely breathe

It was not just because of my nerves, all though there weren't improving the situation.

After weeks of rehearsal it was finally opening night.

I had just put the final layer of my costume on a few moments ago and I was already feeling the sweat gather at the back of my neck. I looked myself over in the mirror and stole a glance at Genny who had just put the finishing touches on her dress.

Susanna was a servant and her costume was light and simple. I could tell just by how her skirts moved that they were made of fine linen. She wore a stomacher made with a charming green floral pattern. The sleeves of her gown were gathered at two points before they flowed down her elbows like wings. It looked much more comfortable than the wool waistcoat that itched at my skin. I envied her.

The designer for Figaro had bluntly told me my chest had to be bounded, saying he could see my breasts from the back row. Genny had laughed off my embarrassment. She agreed to help bind my breasts down with cloth, before then tighten a corset around all of it. Then it was more layers, shirt, waistcoat, cravat, breeches and so forth.

"Christine, you do make a handsome looking boy." Genny pointed out. She picked up a hand mirror, adjusting the pins that strapped her wig to her hair. I leaned against one of the chairs, trying to get use to wearing pants for the first time.

I knew all my lines, thanks to the double drilling from M. Gabriel during the day and Erik at night. I had the encouragement and support of most of my fellow cast members. Yet I still felt nervous. The realization of this event finally dawned on me when I saw the playbills for the performance an hour ago. My name was scrolled in elegant lettering at the bottom of the cast list.

Introducing Mlle. Christine Daae as Cherubino

The lettering was almost as big as the one that announced La Carlotta at the top of the playbill. All of the patrons' attention would be drawn to this fact and expect something great of me.

Erik believed in my talents. Raoul and Genny did as well. But outside in the auditorium sat the elite of Paris society ready to judge for themselves. An army of critics.

Genny casted a concern glance at me. "Christine, your face...it's white. You're not ill are you?" she asked then pointed with a finger downward. "Sit down right now." I did. "Are you that nervous? You look like you might faint."

I shook my head. "If I faint tonight on that stage, it will be because of this costume not my nerves." I sighed and looked at my friend, finally powdered and adorned...and perfect.

"You look beautiful." I said.

She smiled sweetly and reached to touch my face. "And once you get some color back into your cheeks you will be too, Christine. And you are going to be wonderful tonight." she assured me.

"I hope so. Is Raoul here?"

"Of course! He wouldn't miss this for the world. And Philippe came too, even though he's seen this opera already. They both are excited to hear you sing."

"They aren't the only ones..." my voice dropped as I glanced at the playbill on the table. "Why did they feel the need to put that there?" I asked referring to my 'announcement'

"I can hear the audience from back here. It must be a full house."

"Usually is on opening night." She laughed. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. This is a compliment." She leaned over the table. "From what Camille tells me, M. Moncharmin is quite taken with your talent and personally wanted to promote your debut." she explained with a wink

My eyes widened as I felt my chest squeeze me tighter. "Great. Am I suppose to have a poster with my name plastered on the side of the building as well?"

"Sing tonight like you have been and I'm sure you'll have your poster by tomorrow." she laughed trying to lift my spirits. "What are you so afraid of Christine?"

I pushed my fingers into my hair. "Of failing. I'm afraid the moment I open my mouth I'll be booed off the stage."

"Ha, no one is going to boo you. These are cultured people."

"I know. I shouldn't be so terrified." I sighed. "The more I think about it..."

She put a finger to my lips. I felt a bead of sweat run down from my temple across my cheek. "Don't be afraid to be nervous. It's natural. But you have no reason to be afraid of failing." she said her voice now uncommonly serious. "You made it this far. You are beyond failing, Christine Daae."

"Curtain in five!" came a call from the door. I realized in annoyance that in running my fingers in my hair, I had ruined part of the styling and raced to put the loose strands back in place. Genny stood and grabbed her bonnet from the table.

"Have faith Christine." she started. "It is like I told you before. You were destined for this. The Angel of Music told me." I stopped my fussing and dropped my hands. I was still uncertain about how much Erik had said to Genny. How much he had misled her. All this was no coincidence to her; it was fate.

"Genny..." I bit my lip trying to think of what to tell her in our last few minutes before the curtain. "Please...try to not be so concerned about the Angel. If you trust in my talents, you must trust in your own. And know that your brothers and friends have faith in you."

She looked at me as if I had spoke blasphemy. "Perhaps with all that adoration..." I continued. "There is no need for the Angel." She looked away from me, her mouth hanging open. I hope that she realized the truth in my words.

"Places!"

"Thank you, Christine." she said softly. Then she forced a smile on her face. She jumped over to the door, pulling at the ribbons on her bonnet. Her mood had completely shifted. She was no longer Genevieve. She was Susanna

"See you on stage...Cherubino."

The first act went as well as I could hope for. My entrance went smoothly and I was delighted to hear the sound of polite applause as I finished my first aria. I moved quickly to my next lines, cutting the applause short. After the first intermission, I changed from my page boy costume to my uniform. This was too made out of wool and I now had to contend with thick boots and a hat while trying to maneuver my way through the wings.

The curtain rose and the auditorium burst into thunderous applause, clashing with the somber opening lines of the score. Carlotta belted out the first aria destroying the mood of the piece, and then she stopped and bowed towards the audience. My entrance came soon after that. Cherbunio once more stepped into the light, feeling depressed at his current situation. But I was anything but. My heart was racing and I could feel the throbbing tension through my body, from my fingertips down to the heels of my boots.

I was out of place among the diva's adoring fans

"Today I'm not in voice, but if Madame desires..." I sang and pulled of my hat bowing low to Carlotta. When our faces met, she flashed me an unnaturally large grin.

The chords of the guitar sounded.

"You know the answer, you hold the key..."

A loud rip echoed over my soft notes, followed by laughter from the right of the house. I licked my lips ignoring it and moving on.

"Love's tender secret..." At this I was greeted with more laughter and then a din of conversation sprung up on the other side of the house. I glanced and saw a group of women chuckling behind their fans. They were close enough that I could see them even though the footlight practically blinded me.

"Share it with me. Ladies, I beg you share it with me..." The last line felt more like a pled to the distributive women in the crowd. At the rest the noise only grew louder. I heard other patrons in the dark trying to quite the others, but their hush noises and protests only added to the sound. I heard another rip, another laugh...

"This new sensation I under go..."My voice grew quieter when I should have been singing louder. Perhaps I was only imaging it. Then I heard a distinct hiss followed by a high female voice making a jeering noise.

Then the music stopped. Other voices were calling out now followed by other trying to silence them. The words left me. In that moment time stop and all music fled from me. I wasn't even sure if the orchestra was still playing. I could only hear the discontented cackle that was rising in the stalls. I turned my head towards the grand tier, already feeling more sweat pour from my forehead.

I saw him, even in the low light. He stood straight up in his seat, not caring if anyone noticed him. His opera cloak moved about him like a bird's wings. I saw him lean forward and grip the edge of the box, exposing his gloved fingers.

"Sing Christine..." In that dazed moment, I was certain that he was speaking right in my ear. It was like the first time he spoke to me. That night on the empty stage when he voiced sounded from behind me while he was still hidden in shadow.

"Sing Christine!" The hushed command grew louder and then I recognized it was not Erik's voice. I turned to see Genny looking at me. Her eyes were wide with anger and she clutched the prop guitar tightly to her chest. Beside her, Carlotta was laughing.

The orchestra had stopped. I could hear the rap of a baton, but I concentrated on Genny, her whispers rising above the noise.

"Don't listen...just sing." she pleaded.

I closed my eyes. I only had moments before the laughter would drive me from the stage forever. I remembered Carlotta's face laughing and her harsh words. But then I remembered Erik's words.

But it is enough for now that you sing for me...always and only for me.

"It is so different from all I know." I focused all my excited and enraged passion into the notes and let them ring out over the auditorium. Just as I felt everything stop moments before, I was now in a state of mind in which I only heard my voice. The sound of it dominated my entire being and pushed me forward with a courage I had not possessed before.

"Filled with excitement walking on air. First I am happy..." I ignored all of my stage directions. I was suppose to stand still and address Carlotta while she lounged in her bed. Instead I stepped in front of the bed, crossing my feet one over the other. I closed my eyes and placed my hand over my heart.

"Not for a moment am I the same..." I crossed over to Genny, continuing the aria. I sung my next lines to her, smiling as they speed up their pace. I could now hear the familiar strains of the violins accompany me. Genny's face brightened as I sang. Her smile stretched wide across her face.

"I can't stop sighing hard as I try and then I tremble not knowing why. From this dilemma I find no peace, and yet I want it never to cease."

Then I moved forward off to stage left. I turned my head up to the Grand Tier. My face was pointed towards the stall, but I allowed my eyes to lift upwards to my Maestro. The music possessed me.

"You know the answer, you hold the key. Love's tender secret..."

I felt the air rush pass my frantically beating heart. It sprung from my throat and then in again through my nose. I almost lost the beat of the music. The rapid pace in which my heart was pounding threatened to fill my ears. I stretched my hand outwards. Right then, we were the only two people in that entire auditorium. I was pouring my heart out to my teacher.

This was it. This is what Erik and Genny had been talking about. This sublime moment, the glorious feeling that filled me. All doubts and self pity left me as I let my voice soar effortlessly around the words of the love song. This is where I belonged. The heavy tension in my body fled.

"Share it with me..."

The last ritnello sounded and I bounded across the stage toward the foot of the bed. As they last notes from the pit trilled, I once again bowed low to Carlotta. Cherubino was humble, but I was not. Not anymore.

The house burst with deafening applause. Carlotta's face was frozen in disbelief. It was my turn to smile.

I kept my gaze locked with hers until the applause finally died down.

I pushed another glass of champagne away from under my nose.

"We must celebrate!" exclaimed Camille, who had already had two glasses. The dressing room was packed with people, more than I could ever imagine fitting in such a small space.

"No." I protested. "None for me. Champagne makes me light headed." I pointed out for the third time. Camille only took a sip and then started to pass the glass around to the half dozen ballerinas leaning against the walls. They each took a sip, giggling and chatting. They all wore ball gowns cut short at the ankle from the wedding dance and the volume of their skirts made it difficult to pass through. Genny was leaning against the door frame, grabbing the attention of each person who passed by.

There had been a standing ovation at the end of the performance. Genny had grabbed my hand and pulled me along as she took her final bow. A thousand voiced cried "Bravo!" when she raised our hands up in triumph still clasped together. I took another uncertain bow towards the house, but my eyes lifted to look at a certain box on the grand tier.

It had been empty.

I stood up feeling the surge of the tiny crowd gathering around the table. I didn't even have enough time to get changed before the dressing room was barraged with well wishers. Stagehands had been darting in and out, leaving bouquets leaning against the dressers and wall due to the lack of space. I found an empty space against the mirror. I could feel that the back of my coat was wet from sweat and my neck was still dripping. I reached to untie my hair. It had been styled into the shape of a page boy wig, with two still curls at the sides. It caressed the back of my neck, becoming wet at the tips.

"Christine…" I heard a distinctive whisper in my ear. My hands froze in mid air until I determined with a peculiar sense of calm who had been calling to me.

"Are you very tired Christine?" Erik asked from behind the mirror.

I looked around and noticed in that moment no one had turned their attention to me. They were far too busy enjoying themselves.

"Yes, I am exhausted." I replied.

"Then send them away Christine…" he instructed.

I bit my lip and almost spoke out loud "How?" It was already time for me to trade my existence in the light to return to that other dark world I inhabited. Before I could even try to think of an excuse to be alone, I needed to get out of my costume. I needed water. There was not a glass of water to be had in the room. Only bottles of champagne. I tiptoed forward trying not to step on any feet. I was reaching for the basin of leftover wash water on one of the dresser. I would first cool my boiling forehead and then search out a drink. If I was clever enough I could sneak pass the crowd.

My clumsy boots became intertwined with a loose lace from a ballerina's shoe. By the time I felt the tug against my foot, it was too late. I fell down, my hands acting quick enough to stop my chin from colliding with the floor. The room erupted into sharp gasps and then fits of laughter.

"Christine!" Genny rushed to my side. "Are you all right?" I could only nod with embarrassment. I wasn't hurt. She set her scornful gaze on the members of the corps de ballet. "Out then! All of you." She demanded. She snatched the glass of champagne from Camille. With more giggles and sighs the crowded room slowly empty. Genny helped me to my feet and sat me in a chair.

"I'm fine. I just slipped." I muttered.

"You're face is all red." She noted before moving to the dresser. "You should take those boots off young soldier."

I tugged off my boots and tossed them under the table. Genny returned with one of her handkerchiefs soaked with water. I gratefully took it from her.

" You were as white as a sheet before you went onstage and now your cheeks are as red as a rose. Singing is exhausting work, but you did it." She smiled at me. "And you were brilliant tonight Christine. I can't believe that all actually happened tonight. I predict by tomorrow night, the entire run will be sold out."

I should have been gabbing and gossiping with my friends, but I only sat there mute and worn out. I worried what the next day would bring. I knew I would get an earful from Carlotta and perhaps the mangers as well. Genny noticed my silence and leaned over, resting a hand against my cheek.
"Poor thing. You really are done in." She remarked. "You should been in bed. I'll see that you get home." She removed her wig and placed it on her vanity. "Shall I go fetch Raoul for you? He could give you a ride to your home." She offered.

I smiled. "Yes I would like that." And while it was an excuse to get her to leave, I really meant what I said. I did want to see Raoul. Just briefly to express my excitement with my good friend.

She removed a few more hair pins, letting her own hair fall back into place. It too was matted with sweat like mine. She went for the door. "Don't spend another moment in that hot costume. You get changed and I'll come right back."

"Genny…" I started. She paused before she exited, focusing on me. "Thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten through tonight. Not without your encouragement."

She blushed. "Well, it's like you told me before the curtain. We must have faith in our friends."She leaned down and two my two clasped hands in hers. Quickly she bowed her hand and laid a kiss on the top of my knuckles. Then she hurried away, closing the door behind her.

My own words came back at me. I was a hypocrite. I told my friend to have faith in me, when I was lying to keep her way. Her and Raoul. I moved the handkerchief down my neck and whipped the drops of water from my forehead.

"You weren't in your box at the curtain call. I looked for you, but you weren't there." I spoke out loud. Raoul was there. I saw him standing in his box. He was shouting and clapping in a very boisterous manner.

"I wasn't there, but I was near. I am always near to you Christine." Came Erik's reply. I heard a slight creak and then the stuffy room was suddenly invaded by a blast of cold.

"Mlle. De Changy was correct in her concern. You should go home. You should rest. You are exhausted."

"I am…dead. Tonight I gave you my soul." I turned to face the mirror. Erik stood in the secret opening. He was clad in splendid dress attire, with a tail coat and a long opera cape.

"That was ingenious of you Christine." He commented dryly.

"I didn't fall on purpose." I admitted.

"I wasn't speaking of that." His eyes shifted under the mask. They lowered themselves, focusing on the ground. "You may change, if you wish." I moved over to the vanity and picked up a pair of slippers I had left on a footstool. My feet ached from the heavy boots. I moved to slip off my coat.

There was a knock at the door. "Christine."

I couldn't help myself. "Raoul!" I whispered in surprise. He had arrived so quickly.

In an instant Erik was at my side. One hand curled tightly around my wrist. "Silence." He hissed. "Say nothing." Another set of knocks echoed throughout the room.

"Christine? May I come in?"

I tried to stop to at least put on my shoes, but Erik pulled me up in his arms as if I weighed no more than a piece of paper. This close to him, I saw his yellow eyes glare at the door and his lip curl into a snarl. My free hand still hung tightly to my slippers. Erik carried me through the mirror and beyond the walls as knocking faded into the distance.

I was silent throughout our descent. I could have protested but I did not have the strength. Erik insisted on carrying me down the cellars and across the threshold to his home. I felt awkward in my bare feet and my page boy costume, which despite its warmth did not completely protect me from the chill of the opera cellars.

He opened the door to the house on the lake and stepped inside. Erik used candles sparsely in his home, leaving it fairy dark. But now the room was glowing with the light of many candles and it blinded me.

There were flowers everywhere. There must have been at least a thousand bloom scattered about the room. There were grand bouquets of roses, baskets filled with lilies, tulips. Vases I had never seen before, sat on every end table and even on around the organ console, bursting with flowers. I surveyed the scene in disbelief.

"All for you Christine." Erik whispered. "This night is yours." He reached out a hand to touch my shoulder forcing me to slowly turn and face him.

"They are so beautiful. I'm stunned Erik. I really don't deserve all this."

"But you do Christine. You deserve it all and more"

I bit my lip. "Did I really do well tonight?" I asked feeling a tinge of selfish pride. He pulled his gloves off his hands watching me. Then he placed a finger gently over my heart.

"Your training has paid off. Tonight you sang from here. You felt the music from here." He pressed against my chest for emphasizes. I could feel the pulse from his fingertips. It almost echoed my own. "The angels wept tonight." He whispered. Then his hand moved from my chest to my wrist, bring my palm up to his face. Tenderly, he placed a soft kiss into my own palm. "I'm at your command tonight Christine. I will fulfill any wish you have. Would you like something to drink now? Champagne?"

I shook my head. "No I would like to get out of these clothes first. Then perhaps something to drink." I absentmindedly started to shrug off my jacket. Then I realized how brazen my previous comment had sounded. My face went scarlet as I blushed.

Erik smiled. "I understand. Perhaps some wine and maybe a little supper. It will help you sleep."

I turned away and padded lightly up the steps to my room. I opened to door to see it was also bathed in candle light. On my bed was another bouquet of flowers. This one contained several dozen roses ranging from shades of pale yellow to faint peach. Intermingled among the blooms were small delicate white flowers that had the appearance of lace. I leaned down and pressed my cheek against them savoring their scent. For a moment, I forgot about where I was and how I had happened to end up here. I enjoyed Erik's gift for these were the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen.

With relief I toss my jacket aside and undid the many buttons of my waistcoat. Once that was removed, I loosen the silk cravat and folded it before setting it on my dresser. My relief vanished after I pulled my shirt over my head and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I placed a hand over my bound chest and mumbled in frustration. I reached both my arms high above my head and down towards the center of my back. I had been concentrating so hard on my performance and everything else that had happen that I had barely noticed the discomfort in my chest. Until now. My fingers strained to find the end cloth. I could feel the fasteners of my corset beneath the cloth. I stretched and clawed for a few more minutes until the blood had rushed from my shoulder to my hands. My arms felt numb and I stopped trying.

Unlike my usual corset, this one laced in the back. It would be impossible to get it off without assistance. I bit my lip as I reached to put my jacket back over my shoulders. There was only one other option. I left my room and came back down the stairs. Erik was standing in his kitchen, pouring a golden glass bottle of wine. He turned with a glass already in hand. He reached forward to offer it to me and paused as he got a good look at me.

"Erik, I need you help….please."

"Is something wrong?" he asked a note of concern in his voice. I bit my lip again and then slowly turned my back to him. The jacket started to slip down but in my sudden sense of modesty, I clutched it tightly in my hands.

"Could you please…I've had to have my chest bound and I…" My voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't get it undone by myself." There was a silence between us. My back was still turned and I thought my request had shocked Erik enough to cause him to retreat. Then I heard his footsteps coming closer. A stinging hot blush rose to my cheeks. In truth I wasn't afraid of having Erik touch me. I was more afraid of my reaction when he did touch me.

His hand reached up toward the collar of the jacket, slowly tugging at it with just one finger. I relaxed my grip enough to have the sleeve slink down my bare arms. Soon my back was exposed and I suddenly felt chilled. He pressed his fingertips against my back. They were cold.

I shuddered remembering he had taken his gloves off. His flesh was now in direct contact with mine. I wanted to push my jacket back up and cover myself.

"Mon Dieu…" he whispered.

I felt his fingers trail down my back and spread against my bindings. He worked one underneath the cloth, tugging the end free. But then he paused.

"You sang tonight…and your chest, you voice…was bound like that." He noted. I nodded, not sure of what he was hinting at. I felt the cloth fall down towards my legs grazing my underarms.

"And yet you sang so beautifully, so magnificent while you were confined."

His hands deftly started to unravel the cloth. His arms were long enough that they stretched around and in front of me. He didn't touch any other part of me as he freed me from my bindings.

"You are incredible, Christine Daae." He complemented. He had leaned closer and I could feel the end of his chin brushing into my hair. "Brava."

The top lace on my corset became loose. I snapped out of my hazy delirium and stiffen my body. I was suddenly aware of how much I was exposed. I shivered but it was not because I felt cold. The breath from Erik's mouth grazed the ends of my hair, brushing them against my back. The rhythm of his breathing grew faster till it was almost a pant.

Swiftly he pressed a hand above my breastbone. I jerked almost falling back into his arms. I was afraid to move until I looked down and saw what he was doing. In his hand he clutched the end of the cloth and now he was holding it just inches away from my skin. I reached up my hand to take it from him which seemed a relief to us both.

"Perhaps you should just retire. You said you were tired." Erik whispered.

My exhaustion had fled me. I was now extremely alert. Erik did not tear me away from my friends' company only to send me away. Not like this. Not after what he had said. Meticulously he reached back and pulled my jacket up over my shoulders once more, only using a finger. I turned around face to him. His eyes instantly darted down at my chest then away. He grimaced and turned his head.

"Go to your room Christine." His whisper was harsher.

Without looking, he reached over his hand to grasp the folds of my coat and pull them tightly across my chest. I put my hands over his as he held the fabric in a tight grip. His hands despite their strong appearance trembled under mine.

"I'm not tired." I stated.

He groaned in frustration. "It would be best for both of us…"

"I don't want to leave. You promised me. Tonight is what I choose. I don't want to go to bed. I want you." I inhaled sharply realizing what I had said. "I want to stay here, with you." I corrected.

His eyes meet mine. The lids rested halfway down his pupils, veiling his amber gaze.

"Christine…." His other hand reached up to touch the left side of my face. I gave a small gasp as I realized how smooth his fingertips felt against my cheek. He moved his head forward then stopped with a jerk; a slight hesitation. Then his head was down again and his lips were on mine.

I didn't pull away and Erik didn't stop me. His other hand broke free from under my hands and slowly made its way up my neck and finally to my cheek. He applied only the slightest pressure on my face. I could sense his movements were not done in an attempt to be sensual. They were out of timidity for his fingers shook. His lips only rested on mine and they too quivered.

They were warm and soft. I was enfolded in his presence and scent. My nostrils were filled with the aroma of his cologne and there was something else in the air around us. Something sweet I could not identify. His mouth open slightly and then expanded to cover my lips completely. I felt my whole body go tight and my legs grow restless. I didn't even hear him breathing. I didn't hear myself. No breath, no pulse.

It was if everything had stopped and it felt wonderful.

I stood up on tip toes, forcing both of us up. Erik seemed to lift me by just holding my face as I returned the gentle kiss he had given me. I pushed against him, my lips tight for a moment. Then I relaxed and opened my mouth. Erik accepted my gesture and moved his tongue across my lips and into the corners of my mouth. The sweet smell was the wine he had and I relished tasting it on his lips. Even on my raised feet I couldn't reached to touch his face. So I reached around his back letting my fingers crawl like spiders up towards his neck.

God what was I doing?

We broke apart. Erik let go of my face. It felt like he had dropped me from the second story as I fell back against my clumsy feet, the wind stolen from my lungs.

Erik's eyes were shut and he held out his hands in front of him defensively. "You shouldn't have let me touch you!" he gasped. I looked at him stunned and noticed his fingers were still trembling.

"Erik I trust you. It's why I asked..." I tried to explain.

He cut me off with a sharp laugh. "You trust me. Yes Christine, you trusted me… and look what I've done to you!" He gave a wide sweep of his hand gesturing to the whole space. His words we clipped and blunt and the tone of his voice made it sound as if it were painful for him to speak.

I dared to step forward. I had gone from being afraid of his presence to practically begging for his touch. If I had been repulsed by his kiss, I would have thrown him off without hesitation. He wouldn't have stopped me. But I returned his affection and now he was casting me away.

You know the answers, you hold the key.

"You gave me my voice." I pleaded. "You offered me your talent, your skills, your protection and your love. You gave me all this without any expectation from me to give you anything in return. And now you wish to turn me away. Why?"

Love's tender secrets, share them me.

"I did as you asked! Tonight I sang for you. Tonight I gave you my soul..."

"I shouldn't have touched you." He muttered. "I shouldn't have kissed you. Never let me do it again." His hands shook faster at a fierce pace. "Please Christine, go to your room and forget all this..."

It was my turn to cut him off. "No. You cannot order me. I'm not a child and I am not your wife." I was again filled with instant regret at my choice of words. So much that I covered my mouth.

That had gotten his attention. He stared at me with a look of confused hope. I thought back to what I had said earlier. About all the things Erik had given to me. I would not be celebrating my debut performance in the grand opera if it was not for him. He had given me so much and at the same time he had taken things away from me too. In exchange for his protection I lost my sense of freedom. In exchange for his honesty I had lost my sense of innocence and knew him for what he was. For my fame I had given him my soul. Still I felt the good outweighed the bad...only just enough.

"Very well. I'll submit to your wishes." he sighed. He handed me the extra glass and turned to the stairs, walking under them. He was going to his room. A panic seized my chest.

"Stay with me please." I cried.

"I cannot."

I rushed after him. My fingers just grasped his coat before he pulled away. He turned his head only slightly, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "If I stay here with you a moment longer, I will be endangering your virtue." his stated in a husky whisper. "On that you can be certain."

"I don't care!" I shouted recklessly. Our eyes both widen simultaneously at my outburst. Erik made a low noise like a growl.

"You will destroy me...Christine..." he said. Then before I had any time to react, he stepped into his room and quickly slammed the door . I staggered back into the sitting room, falling to my knees. A few of the flowers had lost their petals and were scattered on various parts of the floor. I brought my hands together. They were shaking as furiously as Erik's had been.

Erik

Erik kissed me and I kissed him back. He tried to restrain himself and I pursued him. With all that I knew, all that I had gone through...all he had put me through and I had perused him.

"God..." I whispered.

I loved him.

I sat alone in the room with this terrible thought running through my head and nothing to bring me comfort in it, except for magnificent and stupid flowers.

A/N: SEXUAL TENSION!

That was the only note I left for myself when I was outlining this chapter.

Sorry against for the long delay and another long too chapter. I wish I could have spent more time developing more scenes and situation before we got to the gala night...but then we would be here forever. And there is so much to come. We still have another act to go. Better for us all if I sped thing up a bit:)

Thanks to all the reviewers and readers. It makes my day to see another notice in my inbox of my story being added to readers' favorite's lists. Thanks you thank you.