Strange Alliances

by Erestor

Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, or the Harry Potter series. This story was written for entertainment purposes only.

Thank you for all of the reviews!

CHAPTER NINETEEN

'Then Fëanor laughed as one fey, and he cried:..."Let the ships burn!" Then Maedhros alone stood aside, but Fëanor caused fire to be set to the white ships of the Teleri.'

-J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Silmarillion'

"Who were those freaks?" asked Amanda-Lynn.

"I'm not opening the door," said Krystalynn nervously. She had been in her bedroom all morning, unsure of what to do. She had a feeling that it would be beneficial to read the Lord of the Rings books. Maybe they had an abridged version somewhere.

"That little one really did look like Harry Potter," said Amanda-Lynn dreamily. "At least, how I've always imagined him. And that man – maybe he was Sirius Black!" she squealed suddenly, overcome with the thought.

"Er... I really don't think he was Sirius Black," said Krystalynn. "He said his name was Mandos. I mean, his brother said that. Mandos didn't really talk much."

"His brother? Are you sure it was his brother? Maybe it was Lupin!" cried Amanda-Lynn.

"No, his name was Lórien," said Krystalynn. She thought Amanda-Lynn was a bit desperate.

"Where did they come from?" demanded Amanda-Lynn through the door.

"Er... well... from my closet," said Krystalynn.

To her shock and horror, her sister believed her at once. "Of course!" said Amanda-Lynn ecstatically. "They were trying to come to me, but they ended up in the wrong closet!"

"Harry Potter isn't real," said Krystalynn.

"How do you know?"

Krystalynn was silent as she considered this scary thought. After all, she had seen Legolas that morning with her own two eyes. Why should the people of Middle-earth be the only other fictional characters who truly existed?

"Oh, I'm so excited!" cried Amanda-Lynn. "Please, please let me look at your closet! I promise not to hurt you."

Krystalynn opened the door a crack, and her sister hurried into the room. She peered eagerly into the closet, as though expecting to see a variety of witches and wizards looking back at her. To Krystalynn's relief, but Amanda-Lynn's great disappointment, the closet was empty.

Krystalynn turned back to her computer, and suddenly realized that its powers were still hers, still at her fingertips. And there was her sister, in her room, in her closet... looking for Harry Potter.

Krystalynn's face was lit up by a smile that could only reasonably be described as 'evil'. She sat down at her computer and began surreptitiously typing out a few paragraphs.

Amanda Lynn was a harry Potter fan, she typed rapidly, her fingers fumbling over the keys in her haste. She was lookgihn foar a portal in her sistres closet. But little did she know there really was a portal, and it didnt lead to Hogwo3rts. It lead to Middle Earth.

Suddenly the portal opened kup and Amanda Lynn fell itno it.

Krystalynn held her breath, and heard her older sister emit a small gasp. When the girl turned around, Amanda-Lynn was no longer in her bedroom. She was gone.

There was nothing more that Krystalynn could do. As she had already learned when her own story had come true, the personality of her sister would determine what happened to her. Krystalynn imagined that it wouldn't be very fun, judging by her sister's personality.

Krystalynn opened a new document, and started writing a new story.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful Elf Miaden called Krystalynn. She was the daughter of lord Elronde and was much more beautiful than her sister Arwen.

That morning she was eating breckfast in Rivendale...

The morning after the incident with Fëanor and the cigarette lighter, Mandos woke up in the land of Riverdale. The birds outside were singing with such fullness and fervor that further sleeping was instantly made impossible. Mandos did not feel like sleeping, fortunately. Something was very wrong, and he knew that he had to determine what it was as soon as possible. Or else they were all doomed.

He hurried down the halls of Riverdale, and nearly collided with Nienna, who was dashing towards him from the opposite direction. "I don't know what's happened!" cried Nienna. "My room is suddenly decorated in shades of pink! And the name of this place has changed!"

Mandos nodded. "I remember Manwë saying something about names changing," he said. "He didn't say anything about what happened to the decor, though."

Lórien emerged from another hall. "Quick! Come to the breckfast hall!" he said, beckoning frantically, and his two siblings hurried after him.

They halted in the doorway to the breckfast room, eyes widening and jaws dropping. The sight that met them was unexpected, to say the least, though they had been prepared for somethingawful. At first glance, it was a peaceful, domestic scene. At second glance, it was the perfect setting for a nightmare.

Elronde was sitting in his usual spot at the table, and beside him sat his two daughters, Arwen and Krystalynn. Catastrophe loomed on the near horizon.

"Elronde?" Nienna muttered under her breath. "What is this place now? Ye Olde Elven Realme?"

"He has two daughters!" exclaimed Lórien. He pointed, as though Mandos needed help in identifying the imposter.

"It's that girl from 'Earth'," said Mandos grimly. "We should have realized that eventually she would use her computer device for her own gain."

"What do we do?" wailed Lórien.

"What can we do?" asked Nienna, less panicky and more practical.

"Nothing that we have not done already," said Mandos. "We have created the safe place so that the people of Middle-earth will not have to undergo this sort of thing in the future."

Lórien and Nienna looked disappointed. They would have liked to do something nice and drastic that would send Krystalynn sprinting for cover. Their policy on nonintervention was nearly forgotten.

"Jennifer told me about girls who come into this world and mess up everything," said Nienna. "They're called Merry Sues."

"Why are they merry?"

"Because they like to mess things up, I suppose." Nienna tucked stray strands of hair behind her ears. "They're deadly, Jennifer said."

"Maybe we should confront her," suggested Lórien. "Maybe if she feels guilty, she'll leave."

"I don't think she'll feel guilty any time soon," said Nienna dryly.

Krystalynn was buttering her toast and fluttering her eyelashes at Legolas, who was sitting across the breckfast table from her. Krystalynn, though still recognizable as the girl the Valar had met in Earth, was far more beautiful than – well, more beautiful than anyone currently living. Arwen paled in comparison, and she clearly knew it, because she was glaring resentfully at her plate.

Nienna sighed. "There's no way Legolas is going to leave Middle-earth now, no matter what Fëanor does to him. He's smitten."

"Your plan was worth a try, Nienna," said Mandos. "We'll just have to wait."

"Maybe if we killed Krystalynn, Legolas wouldn't have a reason to live in Middle-earth any more," suggested Nienna.

"That seems rather... vicious," said Mandos thoughtfully. He reminded himself that sometimes vicious measures were necessary measures.

"Oh dear," gasped Nienna after a few moments of silence. "If Legolas is awake now, what is Fëanor doing?"

Fëanor is Middle-earth's most famous pyro. Though he is more well-known for creating the silmarilli, all Elven school-children remember his rather unnecessary command to burn the Teleri ships. Fëanor likes fire.

The Valar knew that all too well.

Suddenly Krystalynn didn't seem like such a cause for worry. The Valar exchanged horrified glances and rapidly dispersed.

Vicious measures are indeed necessary measures sometimes. This Vána fervently believed. So when Vairë announced that an unexpected visitor had arrived in Middle-earth and was wooing Legolas, Vána suffered from no moral dilemmas.

"That is perfectly fine," she said. "You know what to do."

Vairë nodded tiredly. "Mary-Sue parody?" she asked.

A slow smile spread across Vána's face. "Yes," she said, "I love Mary-Sue parodies."

She wandered off to sing with the birds.

Bonnie-Bell was Annoyed. She had arrived in Middle-earth expecting its miserable inhabitants to greet her with cheers and Heartfelt Gratitude. She was, after all, the One who had been Sent to save them. She deserved All the Praise they could give Her.

Alas, they were ignoring Her. Instead of Swooning over the Irresistible Bonnie-Bell, Legolas was Swooning over someone else.

Bonnie-Bell scowled at Legolas from across the room. And She scowled at the beautiful girl who was Flirting with Legolas.

"Who are you?" asked a Plain Elf-maiden, looking up from her breckfast.

"I," said Bonnie-Bell, "am Bonnie-Bell. I have Come to Save you all. Where is the welcoming Committee?"

The Elf-maid blinked. "It must have gotten lost," she said.

"So I see," sniffed Bonnie-Bell.

"Oh, Leggy! The things you say!" squealed the other girl. Bonnie-Bell and the Elf-Maid both Winced as though in Pain.

"Please excuse me, Bonnie-Bell," said the Elf-maid. She got up and left the room quickly.

Bonnie-Bell watched her go. "This place is Weird," She muttered.

Nienna dashed around the corner and nearly ran into her brothers. "Take a deep breath, you two," she said, her eyes wide, "because I have some bad news for you."

Lórien obediently took a deep breath, but Mandos used his deep breath to ask, "Well?"

"There's a new girl here!"exclaimed Nienna. "Her name is Bonnie-Bell. She is clearly a teenage girl from that other world."

"That's not too bad," said Mandos, who was beginning to see things in perspective at last.

"The other bit of bad news is that Legolas's bedroom is on fire," said Nienna.

Mandos looked as though he were about to say something savage, but then he snapped his mouth shut and sprinted down the hall.

Lórien and Nienna watched, their slack jaws swaying in the breeze. Mandos did not often sprint.

"Do you think this world has done something to his head?" asked Nienna.

"I really hope not," said Lórien.

Lórien and Nienna galloped after him.

At last they reached the end of the long hall. Mandos flung open a door, and froze.

Arwen looked up from where she was drowning Krystalynn in a basin of water. "Oh, it's you," she said.

Krystalynn fell to the ground and lay there, gasping for breath.

"What are you doing?" shrieked Nienna.

"Dealing with my 'sister'," said Arwen darkly. "Sibling rivalry, and all that." She prodded Krystalynn with her foot. "You imposter!"

Krystalynn flopped around, like a fish glad to be out of water.

"So, why were you three running around?" asked Arwen.

"Legolas's bedroom is on fire," said Lórien.

"I'd better bring the basin of water with me, then," said Arwen.

"Was that the sort of parody you had in mind?" asked Vairë. She was rather surprised at how vicious Arwen had proved to be.

"Well, she didn't die," said Vána. "Bonnie-Bell actually bothered to book her trip in advance. She shouldn't have to deal with a competitor."

"Meaning that I have to think up some way to kill Krystalynn?" asked Vairë.

Vána nodded.

Vairë thought for a moment. Then she said, "Have we done anything involving... monkeys... yet?"

"No," said Vána. "But monkeys sound good."

Vairë began to weave again.

TBC...