(Twelve years later)
Jessica: Mom! Alex took my Valentine's Bobbie doll again!
Sam: (while feeding baby Melissa) Alex, give your sister her doll back.
Raquel: Mommy! Tell Dan to stop on me! (Groans)
Sam: I can't take this anymore. Danny! Will you handle your children?
Danny: (Chasing Dan, Alex and Terri) Kinda busy right now.
Sam: Well, do something!
Danny: Fine. (While using ghostly wail) Everyone be quiet!
(Hush)
Terri: Wow.
(Danny is forcibly changed back to human)
Raquel: Whoa.
Sam: Jess, Raq, come down here.
(They come downstairs)
In fact, all of you come here. We need to talk.
(Everyone gathers around Sam and Danny)
Danny: Now, kids, what you saw just now, you will not tell to anyone outside this house. Agreed?
All: Agreed.
Jessica: This family is so weird.
Raquel: I know.
Danny: I know you may feel this way, but I've kept this a secret to almost everyone I know.
Sam: (quietly) Yeah, but then your secret got out and everyone loves you.
Danny: Besides that.
Dan: Daddy! Terri's touching me again!
Terri: Am not!
Dan: Are too!
Terri: Am not!
Danny: (while using ghostly wail) Break it up!
Jessica: Whoa, Dad. No need to yell.
Danny: We're all good now.
(All murmur answers)
What was that?
Kids: Yeah.
Sam: Good. Now, go to your rooms.
(Kids murmur quietly as the go to their rooms)
(sighs) Now we can at least have a moments peace before Melissa wakes up.
Danny: I know. Who's idea was it anyway to have so many kids?
Sam: (stressed) Your's.
Danny: Right.
(A year later)
Jessica: Dad! Tell Dan to stay out of our room! (Slams door)
Danny: (reading paper) Dan, stay out of your sisters' room.
Dan: But Dad!
Danny: I said no.
Sam: What time are we supposed to pick up Terri from dance today?
Raquel: Four.
(Bus honks horn)
Danny: Jessica, Alex, Raquel, Terri, and Dan! Go to school!
Raquel: But Daddy! I never got to finish my hair!
Danny: I said march!
Raquel: Fine.
(Kids leave)
Sam: I thought they'd never leave!
Danny: I know.
(Silence)
Why isn't Melissa crying?
Sam: I dropped her off at daycare at eight.
Danny: Right. But is that all you wanna talk about now?
Sam: I like the way you think. (Pulls his shirt towards her to kiss him; doorbell rings) What now? I'll get it. (Opens door) Valerie?!
Valerie: Sam?! What are you doing at Danny's house?
Sam: I live here. We're married, remember?
Valerie: (murmurs) I forgot.
Danny: Well, isn't this nice? Valerie? What are you doing all the way out here in Portland?
Valerie: I heard that you move here a few years ago and I thought I'd drop by.
Sam: How nice.
Valerie: Danny, what happened? You said you'd call me and you never did.
Danny: I did call you. You never picked up.
Valerie: Can I come in at least to talk? It's chilly out here.
Sam: It's 78° out.
Valerie: Whatever. Can I come in?
Danny: Sure.
(Valerie comes in)
(She sees the picture of Danny, Sam and the kids)
Valerie: These your kids?
Danny: Yeah.
Valerie: How many do you have?
Sam: Six.
Valerie: Wow.
Danny: (shows Valerie Alex and Jessica's sixth grade pictures) These are our oldest kids: Jessica and Alex. They're twelve.
Valerie: Who are these girls? (Points to Raquel and Terri)
Sam: That's Raquel, she's nine. And Terri, she's five.
Danny: (shows picture of Dan) And this is our youngest son, Daniel. He's six.
Valerie: And the baby?
Sam: Melissa. She's seven months.
Valerie: How cute. Are they all ghosts, (smiles at Danny) like their father?
Danny: Half-ghosts. And—
Sam: Valerie, that's none of your business.
Valerie: That means yes!
Sam: Valerie, grow up.
Valerie: (Her cell phone rings) Yeah? Uh huh. What? He did what?! Well, put him in his room! I don't know! Give him a time out or something!
(Danny and Sam look at each other confused)
(Groans) I'll be right there. (Ends call) Sorry, I gotta go. My son is destroying the kitchen. And as usual, my Eric doesn't know what to do. I'll see you later. (Kisses Danny's cheek) Bye! (Leaves)
(Danny smiles as he touches his cheek)
Sam: Danny! (Slaps him)
Valerie: (from far away; with a sly smile) I am so bad.
(Three months later)
Danny: You're pregnant again?!
Sam: Danny, please. You're overreacting.
Danny: I'm overreacting? Huh, what about a few months ago when Valerie said good bye to me? You went all ballistic!
Sam: That is way different than having a baby. She kissed you!
Danny: Yeah, on the cheek! I can't believe we ever did this.
Sam: See! I told you! Now you're probably gonna divorce me and we'll hate each other for life! (Runs away crying)
Danny: Sam...