a/n: HA! Long time, no update, huh? Well I'm back!  Fairly short, but enjoy. I had fun writing part of this. I kept laughing. If you read it, I'm fairly sure you'll figure out which part I'm talking about.

It was afternoon, on a bleary sort of winter day. Gilderoy was sitting on the end of his bed, practicing autographs. He thought he was getting nearly good enough to distribute them now. The letters of his name were looking more like "Gilderoy Lockhart" than "Gildery Locklenart." He was so intent upon his work that he didn't notice Elleyne come running up to him.

Breathlessly, Elleyne dumped what Gilderoy thought must be a thousand letters out of a large cardboard box she was carrying onto his bed. He turned and stared at them.

"What?" The one syllable was all that left his mouth as he stared slack jawed at all the letters.

"Your mail," Elleyne declared, with a touch of pride in her voice.

"What, all from today?" Gilderoy asked, still not able to believe what he was seeing. "But I've never even got mail before, how do these people know I exist?"

Gilderoy took a letter off of the pile at random and surveyed it in dumb shock. It was from someone by the name of

Gladys Gudgeon

43 Crescent Circle

Little Whinging, Surrey

"I didn't even know these people existed!" he exclaimed breathlessly. There was something very exciting, as well as mystifying, about this.

Elleyne, who up until now had been watching him with a grin on her face, now looked somewhat doubtful.

"Well…here's the truth. This IS your mail. Your mail from every day since you've arrived here at St. Mungo's. You see, I got permission today from higher staff to give this to you, and though I can't tell you much about before the Accident yet, this" (she indicated the letters in one sweeping gesture) "may jog your memory a bit. We hope. Though you can tell one thing from this stack of letters right off, and it's that you were…quite famous."

She stood looking at him with a half nervous expression. Gilderoy looked over at her, not sure how he should be reacting.

This was far too much news to get at one time. He actually had mail, Elleyne had known it, and had been hiding it for so long. And he had so much of it! Because he was…he was

"Famous?" was all he could get out.

Elleyne nodded, still looking nervous.

"I understand if you're upset at me, but try to see that it was something I had to do. Or else I wouldn't be here now. I'd have probably lost my job. And giving too much to you early on, we've learned that that can be…well, it can be disastrous."

She said this in a hushed voice, and Gilderoy whispered back,

"You could have snuck the letters to me."

As soon as he said it, he knew he was being childish, and felt rather disgusted by himself, but he didn't take it back. He knew most of Elleyne's incentive was likely to have been concern for him, but he remained silent and began to messily tear open the envelope from Gladys, which he still held loosely in his hand.

Elleyne was quiet a moment, and then said, "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for." Then she walked away to go see to some other patient.

Her voice had sounded sort of sad, and Gilderoy didn't feel like he could watch her go at the moment, so instead he pulled the letter from its envelope and flattened it out. It was dated from two years back, in January. He started to read.

Dear Gilderoy Lockhart,

I am your absolute biggest fan! I have just gotten through reading Voyages with Vampires, and it's got to be my best book yet! Of course, nothing could compare to the way you faced that werewolf in the telephone booth! How DID you do it! I would have been soooo scared! But then, you ARE sooo brave! My friend and I were talking about you (it's our favorite thing to do you know) and we came up with the idea that the werewolf could've been caught off guard by your charm! It was my idea first, but Joanna swears it was hers. I had to hit her in the head with Gadding with Ghouls to make her stop crying once I told her I'd tell you that, and it was my new copy too! I checked for dents, but there aren't any. My 20th birthday is coming up soon, and I was hoping (and I know you're outrageously busy, so ignore this if it's out of line) very much hoping for an autograph from you if you should get the chance!

From your biggest and most devoted fan,

Gladys XOXOXO

PS: I find myself wishing sometimes that raging trolls would come to attack my lowly little town, just so you could come to the rescue!

Gilderoy folded the letter back up extremely slowly. The first coherent musing he had was to wonder at how anyone could possibly use so many exclamation points in such a brief span of paper. He didn't know confusion could exist so prominently as it did now in his aching head.

Werewolves? What exactly were those? And, more importantly, how had he managed to fight them? He would have to ask Elleyne. And ghouls, and vampires? What were they?

The fact that Gilderoy had at some point written books of some sort was apparent by the random titles listed sporadically throughout the deranged girl's letter. What was "gadding" and why had it been important enough for him to put in the title of a book? He could barely write his own name now! It certainly was amazing.

Gladys Gudgeon was 22 now. So much for that birthday autograph. At least Gilderoy knew what THAT was. Briefly, he mused at sending her one now, but perhaps she would be angry that he hadn't written in so long. Quite possibly she had given up on him. Then he wondered if he ever HAD written back. It was possible. He hoped she had.

Gilderoy, still thoroughly confused, but now eager for more, grabbed another letter and lay down on his bed this time, putting the heap of letters to one side in order to read comfortably. It was going to be a long night tonight, judging by the size of this pile.