Christmas Past

This Quantum Leap™ story utilizes characters that are copyright © by Bellasarius Productions and Universal Studios. No infringement on their respective copyrights is intended by the author in any way, shape or form. This fan fiction story is written solely for the entertainment of the readers and is not for profit. All fiction, plots, and original characters are the sole creations of the author.

A special thank you to Al's "brunette in Delaware" for her permission to publish this story. It was written as a Christmas gift and therefore truly belongs to her.

Christmas Past

Chapter Two - The Best Burger in Philly

The train rolled into Pittsburgh and Halsey held the hands of his two young friends, one of whom wasn't happy about it. They were going to be handed off to some woman Halsey knew. Al had visions of foster homes and separation from his sister. He looked up at the porter and begged, "Please, let us go. They'll take Trudy away from me. Don't let them do that."

Halsey reassured the boy. "I'm leaving you with a special friend of mine. She'll take good care of you. She's very nice. You'll like her."

Trust was betrayed. He thought Halsey was different, but yet again, a grown-up turned against them. They weren't good enough to keep. Who wanted a retard and a smart-ass kid? The pragmatist in the little boy asked, "She a cop?"

The kind porter laughed. "No, no, no." The train came to a stop. "Mona's no police officer. You'll like her."

Al didn't think so. Why should he? Nothing was going the way he wanted. His plan to find their father failed and after only a few hours. All he knew was that he wasn't going to be able to do anything right ever. He expected his own life to be ugly and awful, but Trudy didn't deserve it. Nothing was going the way it was supposed to. But then, why should things ever go right for him?

Halsey helped the children disembark from the train. Trudy was giggling and happy to have such a nice man lift her from the car to the platform. Al, deflated and empty, just looked through things not wanting to take notice of anything the world might have to offer. If that one thing he coveted caught his eye, he would have to watch it disappear and even though he was only seven, he'd gone through that often enough. No need to be set up for failure again.

He didn't even see the smiling woman Halsey walked toward. Trudy took note, though. Her happy giggle brought Al back to his present situation. Halsey introduced the pair to this smiling woman with dark hair, dark sparkling eyes and a happy voice. "I am so glad to meet you both. Halsey seems to think we can be good friends. What do you think?" She held her arms open.

Trudy saw the waiting embrace and had no trouble accepting the kindness of this woman. On the other hand, Al stayed at a distance, far enough away to let her know he wasn't so easily fooled, but close enough to take care of his sister. Halsey noted the boy's reticence. Once again, he brought himself to Al's eye level. "Son, I know you're upset, but you go with Mona. She's going to take good care of you and Trudy."

Al said nothing. He didn't want to say anything. Talking is what got them thrown off the train. Confiding in Halsey is what messed everything up. He spied Mona's hand held out for him to take. He stuffed his hand back in his pocket just to be sure Mona and Halsey completely understood that he didn't have any use for her, him or anybody at all. His other hand held onto the satchel holding their belongings.

Mona held Trudy in her arms. She saw the satchel in Al's hand and asked, "You need help with that?"

"I didn't need your help before." For this, he would stare into her eyes. "Why would I need it now?"

Mona thanked Halsey and started walking away. Al wasn't going to let Trudy out of his sight so he had no choice but to tag along. All along the route Mona chatted with Trudy. The little girl was happy and loved being held. Yes, Trudy was happy and that helped Al feel a little better, but he knew the future was foster homes, separation, and a life of loneliness.

They walked about three blocks from the station and ended up in front of a small restaurant. Over the door was a sign proclaiming Mona's Diner. It was locked up, but obviously, the woman had the key. She opened glass door and ushered the children inside. The door closed behind them and Mona turned over the "Open" sign so that customers would be able to come in and grab a bite to eat. Looking around him, Al saw a kind of scruffy greasy spoon, certainly not a place where people came for haute cuisine. Mona's Diner was a working man's grill.

As tacky as the place was, the Christmas decorations made it even tackier. Lights were strung around the perimeter of the room. A big cutout Santa Claus stared out from the wall by the booths. Trudy saw the image and ran toward it chanting, "Santa! Santa! Santa!" Al had long ago given up on any truth in that pleasant myth, but Trudy still believed and that was enough for him. He wouldn't be the one to destroy her bright-eyed belief.

The boy sat at the counter while Trudy parked herself under Santa Claus. Mona asked, "So, Al, you hungry?" Pointing to the clock that declared it was 11:30 she said, "It's almost lunchtime. Want something to eat?"

It had been hours since they ate in the pre-dawn morning. His stomach had rumbled with hunger pangs for several hours. Still he told her, "No."

"Really? I'm starved. Give me a minute to fire up the grill and I'll make us some burgers. You like hamburgers?" She turned to Trudy, "How about you, hon? You want a hamburger?"

Trudy smiled and clapped her hands. "Hamburger! Hamburger!"

Mona kept talking. "I make a great burger. You want cheese on it? I love cheese on my burger. I bet you do too, Al." He wasn't going to talk. As she fired up the grill, she said, "I like the cheese to get nice and melted, all gooey. Then, I put on a lot of ketchup. Is that how you like it, Al?" Still no answer, but she paid no mind. "I bet you do." She walked through a swinging door and Al could see her go into a big refrigerator. "I have some nice cold milk here, but I could make hot chocolate. What do you say?"

He'd heard of hot chocolate, but he'd never had any. It sounded so good, warm, sweet and soothing. After all, he was still a child and the thought of hot chocolate intrigued him. In a soft voice he said, "Yes, ma'am. I'd like some hot chocolate."

"I'll make a pot. Then you, Trudy and me can share it."

His distrustful eyes watched Mona closely. The milk was getting heated and a big teapot was brought down from a shelf. She talked and talked about nothing at all, but the sounds filled the empty room and home-cooking began to fill his senses. Without realizing it, he began to lick his lips, a move that wasn't lost on Mona, but she didn't draw attention to it. She wanted him to eat. He was too thin, bordering on malnourished and food needed to line his belly. Trudy's too. "Yeah, I like hamburgers. My regulars will tell you I make the best burger in Pennsylvania."

The front door opened and a scraggly old man came in. He carried a small Christmas tree in one hand. Al had seen men like him a lot. They were homeless and everyone said they were to be avoided. You never knew what they would do. Those homeless men would steal the buckle off your belt if they had a chance. "Hey, Mona."

"Hey, Deuce. How are you doing today?" She turned to see him dragging in the evergreen. "What do you have there?"

"Benny was closing down. This here tree was left over. Thought you could use it!" He shifted the weight of the tree a little watching the melting snow make a tiny puddle on the floor.

"Hey, thanks. Put it over there at the end of the counter so everyone can see it." Deuce deposited the tree where he was instructed. Mona asked, "You hungry?"

"Hungry as a horse, but I could eat a horse!" He laughed at his own joke and didn't care that no one else did.

Her hands were busy at the grill. "Let me get you a burger. I'm making some for me and my friends here."

Sitting down next to Al the customer was surprised. "I didn't know you had kids."

A meat patty sizzled when she flipped it over. Nodding toward the Calavicci children, she told Deuce, "They're not mine. They're waiting here until we get someone to help."

Al was confused. "Who's coming? I'm not going to let you put Trudy in a foster home."

Deuce's hand flapped at the air. "Don't get your shorts in a knot, kid. Mona's a straight gal." He shuddered a little. "It's getting cold out there. I think we're going to get snow."

Her tone got serious. "You got a place to stay, Deuce? You can't be sleeping under the bridge on Christmas Eve."

"I got a spot reserved at the mission. Made sure I got a cot."

Al thought about his room at home. He slept on a cot like homeless Deuce was going to get. He looked up at the old man and wondered if he was seeing himself years down the line.

The children's hamburgers were done. "Let me get these on the table for the kids. I'll make you one right away." Mona walked over to the booth where Trudy sat rocking and looking up at Santa. "Come on, Al. I think you'll be more comfortable here."

The little boy was happy to get away from Deuce. He didn't trust the guy and any reason to move away was fine by him. He sat next to his sister and began to cut up the sandwich into little bits Trudy could eat on her own. Mona watched while he made sure his little sister was set up and could start her meal. Once he had her eating, he took a bite of his hamburger. It was about the best thing he'd ever eaten. He relished that first bite like a starving man. A hot sandwich with lots of cheese and ketchup. It was the best he'd had in a long time.

Mona fixed the hot chocolate and brought the pot to the children. Pouring two cups only halfway she warned, "Be careful. It's hot." Al nodded, his mouth filled with hamburger.

Mona returned to her grill and attended to the burgers while Deuce asked, "What's with the kids, Mona?"

Quietly, so Al wouldn't hear, Mona told her friend, "Runaways, well actually more like throwaways. Their mother deserted them."

The word "runaway" caught Al's sensitive ear. Deuce shook his head. "That's tough. Deserting your kids at Christmas, damn, can you get any lower?"

A dirty, homeless man with no money was calling his mother low. If she was low and Al was her son, then he had to be lower than low, still another affirmation of his worthlessness. He wiped a blob of ketchup off Trudy's chin. The little girl responded with a kiss on his cheek and until Trudy said, "Allie no cry," he hadn't realized his sadness was trickling down his face.

His hand shot to his face and he wiped away any residual of tears. "I'm not crying. Boys don't cry, okay?"

"Allie no cry." Trudy put her short arms around him. "Mama come home soon."

His mother wasn't coming back and he knew it, but his anger was growing and Trudy caught it first. "No, she won't!"

"Mama come home." Her whine bore great fear and her agitation grew with Al's anger.

"Don't you get it? She's never coming home, Trudy. She left us and she's never coming home!."

Trudy didn't believe him. "No, Mama come home. Mama come home," and her tears started in the same sad wail he heard the night before when he found her at the cold window.

Her crumpled, little fist started banging against her cheek. Al grabbed her hand and pulled it down. "No, Trudy. You'll hurt yourself. Stop!"

Mona saw the children's dilemma and ran to the booth. She put her arms out to Trudy, "Come here, baby. It's okay."

"Trudy want Mama." She hugged the waitress with all her might. Al could only sit and watch once again how he disappointed his sister, yet another failure.

The remaining hamburger lost all appeal. He looked up at his sister being held and calmed by this stranger. She was able to care for Trudy while he said and did all the wrong things. It was more than he could needed to know. He ran to the far corner of the diner, plopping down on the floor with his knees to his chest. Heaving sobs finally broke through his façade of braggadocio.

Mona handed Trudy over to Deuce who held the little girl with reverence. The woman went to Al's side and sat by him. His seven-year-old child's voice whimpered, "I want my papa."

Her arms wrapped around his sad skinny body. "I know, hon. I know." She pulled him onto her lap and let him be a little boy. He had too many responsibilities for such a young child. "It's been hard, hasn't it."

He would have answered her if he could, but his tears didn't allow for talking. All he could do was bury his head in her shoulder and try to cope with the horrible life behind him and the specter of a more horrible life ahead. "I want to be dead."

"Oh, sweetie, you have so much more to do with your life." He still cried. "But I think for now you need to cry. It's okay to cry. You've been so strong."

As he sat there, letting go of the brave front he thought was impenetrable, he found himself wondering if this was what it was like to have a mother, someone to hold you when you cried, someone to call you "sweetie" and "hon." There was nothing for him to do but become the child he truly was. Mona stopped talking and waited for him to find his voice again. "If they take Trudy away, they'll put her in an institution. Don't let them do that, please. She needs me. No one else looks out for her."

"I'm looking out for her now, too. Together we'll get through this."

While they sat together trying to make sense out of a mother's abandonment of her children, the door opened again. A woman walked in with a smile from ear to ear. Her bright blue eyes lit up the room with her inner joy. Grey streaks in her hair and laugh lines made her look like the grandma everyone wanted to have. There was snow on the woman's dark brown coat. "Merry Christmas, everybody! Boy, the weather is getting nasty out there. We're in for a big storm."

Mona didn't move, her arms still holding Al. "Hello, Mrs. Zimmer. How are you today?"

"Just fine, Mona. Just fine." She took off her wet coat and unwound the longest, most colorful scarf Al had ever seen and hung them on a peg near the door. Walking over to Deuce she continued talking. "Deuce, what a sweet girl." Mrs. Zimmer took Trudy's little hand and spoke tenderly to her, "You are just the cutest thing. What's your name?"

Trudy pulled her hand back and put her thumb in her mouth. Deuce answered for the child. "Her name is Trudy." Nodding toward Mona, "And that's her big brother Al."

Mrs. Zimmer smiled at Al. "It's so good to meet you both."

Crying was bad enough, but at least he sort of knew Mona. This new lady wasn't going to see him sniveling. His sleeve wiped across his face and got rid of the telltale tearstains. Getting up he walked past Mrs. Zimmer and took Trudy from Deuce's arms and brought her back to the table telling her, "Finish your hamburger before it gets cold."

Mona greeted Mrs. Zimmer with a hug. "Good to see you. What are you doing out on Christmas Eve? School's out isn't it?"

"Oh yes. The children went home at noon. I just stayed to grade some papers. The children are doing so well." She sat down at a small table. "I love your Christmas tree. Needs decorations, though, don't you think?"

Mona walked behind the counter and back to her grill. "Don't have any."

Knowing that something had to be done, Mrs. Zimmer began to think out loud. "Well, let's see. It could use some garland." The schoolteacher looked around the room. "I know." She stood up and walked toward the door. The smell of Mona's good hamburgers finally hit her. "I'll take one of those hamburgers, Mona. Your burgers are the best."

Mona winked at Al. "See? I told you."

Mrs. Zimmer took her long woolen scarf from the hook. "I don't need this right now. It will make a terrific decoration." The scarf had to be eight feet long. "This will do just fine."

She started to wrap the colorful garment around the tree. Time after time it fell. "Oh dear, I'm not doing this too well." Once again she tried to weave it into the branches of the small tree. "I think I need some help." Deuce was busy eating and Mona was at the grill. She looked at Al. "I bet you're a great tree trimmer."

Al shook his head. "We never had a Christmas tree. They're too expensive."

The sympathetic woman nodded, "Indeed, they can be very expensive, but I still bet you're a great tree trimmer. Would you help me, please?"

Stuffing the last bit of hamburger into his mouth, Al walked to the tree and surveyed the task at hand. "Shouldn't be too hard. You just have to sort of stick it between the branches." She handed him the scarf and he started near the top. He balanced on the tips of his toes and stuffed the fringed end into an open space. The rest of the scarf was crisscrossed around the little evergreen. The color did add a lot. It began to look like a real Christmas tree. Al smiled.

All three adults saw the grin and they started to see a little boy who could be happy instead of a child burdened by adult machinations. Mrs. Zimmer put her hands on his shoulders. "You are so smart. That was exactly the right way to do it."

From her place at the booth Trudy clapped her hands, "Tree pretty. Tree pretty. Tree pretty."

Giving the tree a good looking over Al said, "Yeah, it's kind of neat. I like it." He looked up into the kind face warmly holding his shoulders. "Your scarf looks good there."

"Yes, it does, Al. I like it, too." Al took that moment to yawn. "Looks like you need a nap. Must have been a long day for you."

"Yeah, kind of."

Mona put Mrs. Zimmer's hamburger on the counter. "Al, why don't you and Trudy lie down on the seats in the booth. Take a little nap."

It sounded good to him. It was just about Trudy's naptime anyhow, but there was something that needed attending to. "Where's your bathroom?" Mona pointed to a door next to the kitchen. "Thanks." He took Trudy's hand. "Come on, Trudy. Let's go to the toilet."

He led his sister away and the three adults had a moment alone. Mrs. Zimmer sighed, "He's a bright little boy."

Deuce added, "And he loves that little girl more than his life. You can see that."

Mona polished the counter with a cloth and admitted, "Yeah, they're both good kids, too good to be this alone."

Deuce walked to the front door. "Well, looks like they're staying here with us. The snow is getting fierce. Maybe you should call the cops."

Calling the police made the most sense, but Mona just didn't want to see Al and Trudy handed over to the foster care system. She knew there would be little chance for them to be adopted and even less that they would get to stay together. "No, those two have to stay together. I can't let anything keep them from staying together." Mona joined Deuce at the door. "Boy, the snow is sure getting thick. We may end up staying here for the night."

Al and Trudy emerged from the bathroom. He held his sister's tiny hand and led her to the booth in the farthest corner. "You lie down here and take a nap, okay?"

"Allie sing. Allie sing hush."

He helped his sister to lie down and he put his jacket over her. Quietly hoping only she could hear he began, "Hush little Trudy, don't say a word. Allie's gonna buy you a mockingbird . . ."

The soft song continued and the three adults in the diner all became as hushed as the dusting of snow outside. It was a song they'd never forget. This little child who had known only despair was giving his sister hope and promise. The lesson they learned was compelling and each had to concentrate to keep a tear or two of their own from falling.

In a few verses, Trudy was asleep, her thumb back in her mouth. Al sat next to her with his arm around her, protecting her from whatever demons might come through the door. A few more minutes later, his eyes shut and he too found some respite in sleep.