Curse of the Cruise Ship

Chapter Five

Tic-Tac

ESF's Author's Note: Yay for one of my favorite lines, which is in this chapter! A thousand points to whoever can guess what it is. Ooh, has anyone else heard the rumor that Orlando Bloom is dating Uma Thurman? Apparently Orlando visited Uma on the set of a movie she's doing, so now it's rumored they're dating. I wonder if it's true. It would be cool because they're in two of my favorite movies (Pirates and The Producers). So has anyone else heard that or know whether it's true or not?

I have excellent news! Wendystwin and I have finished the remainder of the story! Yay for us! Unfortunately for you, however, we're not going to post the whole thing at once. Mostly cause I think that's boring. Therefore, we're not going to post new chapters unless we get at least one new review. We just love driving you crazy by holding out on you.

powderedsugar: YES! Another one brainwashed! I mean...another satisfied reader...(looks shifty). Anyway, if you thought the previous stuff was funny, then you'll really like this one. Well, I hope you do, anyway.

Fiyero-Fae 4ever: I do happen to think Johnny Depp is rather sexy. But the way he plays Jack Sparrow is just amazing. POTC just wouldn't be the same without Johnny Depp, I can tell you that much for sure.

"Feast your eyes, Captain." It was the next day. Gibbs had gathered about a dozen men for Jack's crew and had lined them up for Jack to see. "All of them faithful hands before the mast. Every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot."

"So this," said Will, "is your able-bodied crew?"

Jack didn't answer, but continued walking down the line of men, and Will and the girls followed him. He stopped in front of a man with a parrot on his shoulder. "You, sailor!"

"Cotton, sir," said Gibbs.

"Mr. Cotton, do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" Mr. Cotton glanced at Gibbs helplessly. "Mr. Cotton! Answer, man."

Gibbs stepped forward. "Uh, he's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out." Cotton opened his mouth to show Jack his partial tongue. "So he trained the parrot to talk for him." Jack stuck out his tongue. "No one's yet figured how."

Jack took another step and stopped in front of the parrot. "Mr. Cotton's...parrot. Same question."

The parrot squawked. "Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!"

Everyone looked confused. "Mostly we figure that means 'yes'," said Gibbs.

"'Course it does," said Jack, and looked at Will. "Satisfied?"

"Well, you've proved they're mad," said Will.

"I like the parrot!" said Melody, staring happily at it. Jack looked at her oddly.

"And what's the benefit for us?" said a woman's voice from farther down the line.

They all headed for the one who spoke, who was wearing a floppy hat. Jack, curious, lifted the hat off her head, revealing a dark-skinned woman with a yellow bandanna tied round her head.

Jack smiled and said, "Anamaria."

Anamaria didn't waste any time in bitch-slapping him. Melody and Wendy couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either?" asked Will.

"No, that one I deserved." Anamaria nodded in agreement.

"You stole my boat!" she said angrily.

"Actually – "

Anamaria gave him another slap, harder than the first.

After a second, he turned back to her. "Borrowed," he said. "Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you."

"But you didn't!" she said, and Jack flinched, possibly afraid she was going to hit him again.

"You'll get another one!"

She raised a threatening finger, and Jack leaned away from her. "I will."

"A better one," said Will.

"A better one!" Jack agreed.

"That one." Will pointed to the Interceptor.

Jack looked at Will. "What one?" Will nodded to the ship, and everyone looked. Jack turned back to Will. "That one?" Everyone looked back. "Aye," said Jack to Anamaria, "that one. What say you?"

"Aye!" said Anamaria, and the rest of the new crew echoed her agreement.

"Anchors aweigh!" said Cotton's parrot as the crew headed for the boats. Anamaria grabbed her hat back from Jack and followed.

"No, no, no, no, no," said Gibbs. "It's frightful bad luck to bring one woman aboard, sir, let alone three." He eyed Melody and Wendy.

"Damn sexism," muttered Wendy.

"Pardon?" said Jack, now giving her an odd look.

"Nothing," she said, eyes wide. She didn't mean to say it aloud.

"Well, these two might come in handy." Jack gestured to Melody and Wendy. "As for Anamaria..." He looked up at the sky worriedly. "It'll be far worse not to have her."

A few hours after setting sail, a storm suddenly hit, with what seemed like no warning at all. Melody and Wendy were immediately sent below deck by Jack, with the reason that if they were to stay on deck, they would only be in the way. The girls did not put up a fight; they did not want to fall overboard and not be missed until the storm was over. They sat at a table in silence, the creaking of the wooden hull making them feel a bit nervous. They were, after all, used to metal and fiberglass ships. The storm had been going on for nearly an hour, and was beginning to quiet down.

"Hey Melody?" said Wendy finally, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we're changing the movies?"

Melody thought on this for a moment, nibbling on a bit of slightly stale bread that she had borrowed, without permission, from the galley. "I don't really know," she said. "We have been interacting with the main characters, so it's possible."

"Say we are changing the movies," said Wendy, grinning. "Who do you think should portray us?"

Melody giggled. "Well, we seem to be identical twins in this era. I don't know many English actors who are twins. You know, except for James and Oliver Phelps, but they're boys."

"I know, me neither."

Another couple of minutes passed in silence.

"Why did you agree to help Will get Elizabeth back?" asked Wendy. "You hate Elizabeth."

Melody rolled her eyes. "I do hate her, especially after what she did – or will do – to Jack."

"She had to do that, Mel! The kraken would have killed them all otherwise!"

She sighed. "That's not what I mean. I probably would have done the same. But she kissed him, though!"

Wendy smirked. "And you wouldn't have?"

"Actually, no. It's Johnny Depp I want to kiss. Jack really needs a Tic-Tac, in case you haven't noticed."

She and her sister dissolved into laughter, which was interrupted when Gibbs showed up.

"Storm's over," he told them. "You can come back up on deck now. And we're coming up on the Isla de Muerta."