Title: Unusual Punishment
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you recognize. All others are from my imagination. Nor do I own the song Men in Tights.
Notes: See previous chapters.
Distribution: All you have to do is ask if you want to post this somewhere else.
Pairings: Ok so I gave into temptation.
Chapter Four - Phone Calls
Minimum conversation was made while the four sat in the diner, waiting for their food. The three men had already been hit on more times then any of them could count by the waitress, who had made a countless number of trips to make sure that everything was fine. And when it finally became tiresome, Lita had snapped that they would even be better if their food was ready. The waitress had left in fear of what the redhead would do if her anger was provoked more. Luckily the food had been brought and silence had reign once again over the four superstars.
With the food consumed the four manage to pay the bill and spilt ways to use the bathroom before the hit the road once more. Lita was the first to arrive at the car, a small frown playing on her features as she leaned back against the car. Of the three men, Randy was the first to appear clenching his jacket tightly to him as he twirled the car keys in his free hand.
"I'm driving." He announced at the questionable look she was giving him.
The redhead simply shrugged, "Well then open the car so I can sit down. Where are the other two?"
Randy walked over and unlocked the passenger door. "Last thing I knew Rey and John were fighting over who got to wash their hands first."
He laughed as the diva rolled her eyes and opened the door to slid into the passengers seat. Randy in the meanwhile went to open the trunk of the car and grabbed his CD case before taking his place at the wheel. Lita had been quick to grab the CD holder and skim through the contents. Surprised to see the likes of Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, and Led Zeppelin in the mix of CD's. However, when she came across an Eminem CD she was quick to question the Legend Killer's taste of music. He had snatched the CD holder from her, informing her that spending enough time with John can get you into it.
Lita rolled her eyes and looked out the window, nearly jumping out of the seat when Rey's head popped up and scared her. The two men laughed as Lita's hand reached up to her heart and she tried catching her breath, muttering a death threat to the luchador who simply waved it off as he slid in the back seat.
"Where's John?" Randy asked as he started the car.
Rey glanced out the window. "He's coming right now."
Randy smirked, "Good." "he glanced out the window as well to see the Dr. of Thuganomics flirting with the waitress from before. John smiled as he took a paper the woman handed to him and left after a short good-bye.
All smiles John reached out to open the door for the back seat, only for Randy to smiled mischievously and step on the gas. The car moving away from John outstretched hand and caused the champion to lose balance.
"That ain't cool!" They heard John's muffled yelled as the car stopped and John walked back over to open the door again only for Randy to repeat his previous action. From the rear view mirror the young superstar could see the pointed glare that was sent by the WWE champion.
John made his way quickly over once again and grabbed the handle to open the door before Randy had the chance to move the car. He slid in next to Rey.
"Imma get ya back just watch."
Randy rolled his eyes. "After everything you've done to me so far, I owe you a lot of payback."
"Whatever just drive." John growled as he leaned back and buckled himself in.
Another roll of the eyes and Randy glared out in front of him to focus on the road.
-X-
Two hours had passed and the four were in random conversations with one another. Lita still didn't want to talk to John. So Randy found himself in a conversation with the older man about cars. Lita and Rey, in the meantime, were discussing the possibilities of arriving in time to not get any more further on Bischoff's bad side.
The CD that Randy had put in changed to a more...unique song. Midway through her sentence, Lita stopped and glanced at the radio in disbelief.
"You can't be serious."
After the back seat John and Rey smiled, "That movies' hilarious. I can't believe you downloaded that song." Rey stated as he bobbled with the music.
Lita rolled her eyes and run an hand over her face as the song continued.
"I still can't believe ya let Stacy talk you into downloading that song." John said.
Randy shrugged, "She's good at convincing people."
Thankfully for Lita the song ended, but unfortunately the men didn't want it to.
"Play it one more time." John laughed noting the annoyed expression on the diva's face.
"Randy don't you-" Too late. The third generation superstar pressed the back button and the song started up again. This time however, the three 'children' decided to sing along and luckily for Lita she had a tape recorder hidden beside her. So as Randy, John and Rey began to sing she had pressed the record button.
"We're men, we're men in tights. We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights! We're men, we're men in tights, Always on guard defending the people's rights." The three men chorused.
Lita shook her head, planning a painful death for all three for the torture they were putting her through. She banged her head against the dashboard as the continued.
"We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yes! We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights. We're men, we're men in tights. TIGHT Tights Always on guard defending the people's rights. When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!...We're Butch!" Randy, John and Rey laughed as the song ended.
The redhead sighed in relief and stopped the tape recorder. "You gays are gay."
"Nah we're straight. Ya just need a sense of humor." John replied as he unbuckled himself and leaned in between the two front seats. His hand reached out to repeat the song once more.
"John if you touch that radio, I'm going to have to kill you." Lita said in a low tone.
John smirked at her, daring her to try as he pressed the back button again and leaned back in the seat, a smug look on his face. Lita counted silently in her head, listening as the champion hummed the song a little too loudly for her taste.
Before anyone knew it, the redhead had unbuckled herself and managed to crawl between the two seat to straggle the dark haired superstar.
"Hey! Hey, I'm driving her can we...ow...refrain from...ow...kicking me!" Randy snapped as Lita's legs flailed in her attempt to choke John, but he was only ignored. He drove with one hand, while the other tried to fend off the offending legs that were trying to it him.
Rey remained in his seat and shook his head. The ringer of his phone catching his attention.
"Aello?" He answered.
"Rey where are you? You were suppose to meet me at the hotel for breakfast remember." The serious voice of Chris Beniot stated.
"Aw man I forgot. Sorry amigo but either way I wouldn't have been able to make it." Rey replied.
"And why's that?"
"Bischoff got mad at me for the club incident and forced me to drive to New York."
"From Los Angeles?"
"Yup. He seriously needs to get laid."
Beniot snorted on the other line. However, before he could say anything Beniot heard a snappy Lita yelling at John.
"You annoying...no good..."
"Whoa calm down babe. I-" John made a gagging noise as Lita squeezed his neck tighter.
"Who the hell was that? Was that Red and Cena?" Chris asked.
Rey sighed, "Yeah, Lita's choking John for repeating that one song from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Orton is in the front driving, but Lita's kicking him."
Beniot laughed, "I would have too."
Rey joined in but was shortly cut off as John slapped him in the back of the head. "Ow..." Rey glared at the superstar.
"Get off the stupid phone and help me!" John gasped out.
Rey rolled his eyes and turned away from the demanding superstar. Cena frowned before a smirk quickly appeared on his handsome features. In a quick motion, he had forced the redhead into the back with him and forced her on his lap. His arms banded around her to prevent the redhead from leashing out on her.
"Cena I'm going to kill you so help me." Lita hissed.
The brown haired superstar rolled his eyes. "Right now ya can't do a damn thing to me woman. And for the record I coulda done that at any time but I just wanted ya to feel all tough and shit."
Lita struggled in vain and John hold around her tightened. "Chris! Help!" Lita cried in hopes that Beniot would hear here.
"What was that?" Beniot questioned.
"Nothing." Rey said with a small smirk. "Lita's being held prisoner now. Tell Lil I said hi. I have to go. I'll give you a call when we're closer to New York." They said their good byes and Rey hung up.
Lita glared at him and kicked out at luchador.
"Hey I didn't do anything."
The redhead mimicked him. "Help me." She snapped before glaring at the smirking John Cena.
"That's ok." Rey smiled innocently and moved out of the way before Lita could kick him again.
Before anyone could say another word, Eminem's 'When I'm Gone' played curious glances were sent to the passengers seat.
"Since when did you like Eminem?" Randy asked as he picked up the ringing phone.
"I don't. I just like that one song and don't you dare pick up that phone Orton." Lita glared which only caused the superstar to do the opposite of what he was told. Turning his attention back to the road, he answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Li where...wait a minute your not Lita. Randy what are you doing with her phone?" Trish asked, curiously.
"Lita's busy at the moment." He stated, glancing at the three in the back.
"Ok..." Trish said slowly. "Why are you with her? And why did she miss her plane."
Randy took the opportunity to in form the blond of the events thus far or at least the less humiliating ones.
"Give me my phone!" Lita snapped from the back. Rey had since climbed up front to sit passenger.
With his eyes still focused on the road, Randy shook his head as he continued to talk to the current women's champion. Lita struggled again, managing to free an arm. She tried to grab the object from Randy only to be pulled back.
"Cena let me go!" Lita wiggled as John's hold tightened.
"Afraid not babe." John stated.
"John could you shut her up I can't hear Trish." Randy asked before listening to the blond as she went off about them mistreating the redhead.
"My pleasure bro." John smirked.
Rey turned around to glance at the two. Randy looked up at see them from the rear view mirror. Both men's mouths dropping as John planted a hard kiss on the redhead's lips. The phone dropped with a soft thud to the floor. If things weren't interesting before. They sure as hell just got more interesting.