I hope all of you enjoyed chapter 16! I am running a little behind on my writing so I apologize for the fact that it is taking me so long to update, even though this is a slightly shorter chapter-stupid finals coming up… Well, I am really trying my best to have Zana and Zuko's relationship progress, but not without difficulties! I hope you all keep reading and reviewing (please help me in that department, I REALLY need more reviews!) I am sorry, but I wanted a little bit of a "down" chapter where not too much happens outside of Zana and Zuko's daydreams. Hopefully, this will help those of you who are having a little bit of trouble following the story because you think I have made some errors, but I haven't, I have just not been able to add certain elements until now: ) This is chapter 17 of my story!
Past
Zuko had continued his practice until the sun was high in the crystal sky, melting all shadows into the earth. After the conversation between Zana and Katara, Zuko had no longer only performed the Fire Bending moves, but enhanced and punctuated them with glowing bursts of emotionally charged flame. The scowl never left the young man's face as he went through move after move. All he was able to think about was Zana's revelation about her betrothed. Zuko released a distraught grunt as he spun out of a flaming-jump-kick. The move itself was not difficult; it was the task of keeping what he wanted so desperately to say inside, hidden.
Zana watched from a safe distance as Zuko practiced. She had not noticed any odd behavior in him until she had had her conversation with Katara. She thought that there was no way that Zuko could have overheard what they were speaking about since he had seemed so absorbed, so Zana couldn't help but wonder if Zuko was finally as upset as she had been about the encounter between them in the forest.
With Katara's question; however, a great wave of forgotten memories came flooding back. They were of the very day that one of her family's servants had been told to inform her of her betrothal, as her father was busy out chasing Aang and Zuko at the time. She was to wed an insignificant, ignorant, pompous ass of a man-though he was a skilled warrior whom she had beaten several times in her matches, it was easily apparent that the marriage was not intended for Zana's happiness, but rather to retain her family's stature while the patriarch was out trying to destroy the one person who she believed in. His name was Zult… He was the picture-perfect Fire Nation boy. He had the hereditary light skin, dark hair, was an accomplished Bender, had wealth, and was the very pride of his family. Zult was exactly what Zana did not want for her future. In her brief conversations with him, Zult had subtly denounced girls and women even being allowed to attend an Academy: that they were only there in the first place to be conditioned to look even better on their future husbands' arms.
At the memory, Zana's fists clenched her robes, but she grinned inwardly at the look that had been on Zult's face as she showed no mercy and whipped him in front of both of the Academies in a match where she retained her undefeated status. In the end, it was her betrothal to Zult that had pushed her over the brink and finally set into motion her concluding plans to return Zuko to the throne. It was just enough to urge her to bring a petition to the Fire Lord Ozai-a girl, just barely sixteen, was the first ever to stand up to the ruler of the warring Fire Nation… Zana quickly snapped out of her unpleasant daydream at the sound of Katara's voice. She released her tight-gripped hold on her clothing and turned towards the sound of the Water Bender's chipper timbre. She was talking to Iroh about something that was obviously funny by the glimmering tone to the words they were speaking. Zana secretly wondered what it was they had been discussing…if they would let her join in, because she couldn't handle any more agonizing trips to her past.
Iroh watched as Katara walked away from him. They had been talking about irony of them now traveling in such a tight-knit group after having despised each other for so very long. The older man turned to find Zana. He saw her casually rub her eyes as she looked away from the practicing Zuko. Iroh could not help but wonder what it was that had been bothering her. He knew that something had happened between the two banished teens, but he was unable to pinpoint exactly what it had been. Iroh opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again; unable to find the words he wanted to say at first, but he tried again, calling out to the solitary teen girl, "Zana, my dear," she glanced over in his direction and he spoke again, "Why not keep an old man company?" Zana obeyed Iroh and stood up, Spirits I hope this is not another attempt to get Zuko and me together…I don't think I can handle it today… she thought. Zana willed herself to paint a fake smile upon her lips, "How are you doing, Iroh? Not too tired after traveling so much the past few days?" It was a feeble attempt at small talk, but Iroh did not fall for it. He patted the gravel beside him, "Sit, before I get a crick in my neck from looking up at you." The Double Bender hesitated only for an instant before sitting beside Iroh.
She proceeded to pull her knees to her chest and wrap her arms around her legs in a very defensive position. It was, more or less, a subconscious warning to Iroh that she was not in the mood at all for another of his humorous encounters about her love life. The older man seemed to take the hint and chose his words carefully, "I see that you are not really yourself today…Are you feeling alright?" Zana sat up a little straighter and gave a faded frown, "Well, yes I-I don't know…" She seemed upset and confused about something. Carefully avoiding the topic of Zuko, Iroh asked, "Is it something that you need to talk about?" Zana shifted away from him slightly, "Sir," she faced him, "With all do respect…I do not think that you would understand…" Zana looked away from Iroh once again and rested her chin on her raised knees.
Iroh gave an almost inaudible sigh, "Why don't you try me and I will truthfully tell you if I don't understand." Zana didn't move, she stayed frozen as if she had not heard Iroh's words. Her piercing eyes focused on a particularly dark rock beside one of her feet to help distract her from the conversation she did not want to be having. It was something childish to do, but Zana suddenly did not want to be nearly seventeen with all the responsibilities of someone more than two times her age.
She was still able to feel Iroh's searching eyes on her, no matter how much she disliked the sensation. "Zana?" came the older man's voice. It was so kindly that Zana's heart began to melt when she realized just how cruel she was being to Iroh. All he was trying to do was ease the pain he saw in her and there she was, shunning him as if he had been the one who had hurt her. Reluctantly, Zana turned her head to look into Iroh's face. "I know that it is difficult for you to talk about certain things-as I have had much experience in that area with Zuko, but know that I have been an adequate confidant for my Nephew and that I am more than willing to do so for you, my dear." His gentle words struck a major cord inside of her. Zana had never known such kindness from a person of a greater age than her. It was then that she realized why Zuko was so close to his Uncle-Iroh was more of a father to him than Ozai and Zana came to the conclusion that she could use the same kind of love at that point in her life.
Without another thought the Double Bender leaned over and buried her face in Iroh's robes covering his shoulder. She felt him startle at the unexpected contact between them, but he relaxed and allowed her to rest there. He was unused to someone actually taking his advice the first time around and it was a nice change. Iroh smiled, and inside thought of how much Zana really had going on inside of her that was just begging to be released. With the last thought, he placed a large arm atop one of the girl's narrow shoulders; hoping in some way to comfort her problems-whatever they were-without pressing for any more obviously painful explanations.
The soft fabric of Iroh's tunic caressed Zana's cheek as Zuko had earlier. She couldn't help but let a tear or two escape and dampen the cloth. Inside, Zana prayed that no one would see that momentary bout of weakness, but she knew that Iroh would not tell anyone. She was so thankful for that that she was unable to find words. Her heart yearned for her to tell Iroh about her and Zuko…about how she thought she might love his one and only nephew, and about how she was still tortured by her father's actions though he was so far away doing who-knew-what, and that she knew that, deep down, Zuko returned every bit of her feelings: but all Zana did was bury her face deeper into the shoulder of Iroh's tunic.
As soon as she felt she had regained enough control over herself, Zana sat back up as straight as she had been sitting earlier and briskly wiped away the tearstains around her eyes before Iroh or anyone else could catch sight of them. It was bad enough for her to be obviously upset, let alone go around shedding tears on the shoulders of anyone willing to try to give her a little bit of comfort. Zana was sick of feeling sorry for herself when she had spent so long attempting to convince her head and heart that there was no reason to. Her lungs released a largely pent up breath that she had not realized she had been holding. Turning again to face Iroh with a stone-cold face that matched one of Zuko's, Zana stood as she spoke, "I thank you, Iroh, for your kindness…but there is really nothing the matter with me. I think, if I had to say something, that it would be the anticipation of returning to the Fire Nation in such a short period of time that would be causing me to contemplate so strongly…" The response was wordy, but it sufficed for that moment.
Iroh's face remained unchanging while the teenage girl about-faced on her heel and briskly walked away. The older man reached up and his fingertips grazed the place where Zana's face had been. He was slightly surprised to find dampness there. It was at that moment that Iroh realized that Zana had a lot more going on in her head than the issues she had with Zhao, Zuko, and the Fire Nation. There was a deeper-rooted pain that was obviously held fast against the weathering of time. His gray brows furrowed deeper than his age showed and he came to the conclusion that he would talk to Zuko about the whole issue later-that was if he even knew something about what was going on. If the talking had not helped Zana, herself, then Iroh at least hoped that it would have cleared her mind so there would be no distractions clouding her judgment once they finally reached the Fire Nation.
The rest of the afternoon carried on much as it already had: Zuko trained until he could no longer concentrate, Sokka was still out looking for food, and Zana kept mostly to herself as Katara and Aang chatted amongst themselves. With an aggravated grunt, Zuko dropped to his knees at the river's edge. His legs were just barely clear of the water as he dipped his cupped hands into the running liquid. He held his hands there for a moment; allowing the cooling water to quell the heat that had grazed his palms from the many Fire Bending moves he had used. Using his hands to bring the water up to his face, Zuko briefly glanced over his shoulder to see what it was the others were doing before dousing his already damp face. The feeling was crisp and refreshing and, for only a second, washed away the words that had been repetitively screaming across his mind.
Standing up again, Zuko wiped his sleeve across his face and turned away from the glittering river. He had been "practicing" for well over an hour to help mask his confusion induced anger, but it had worked in moment and not after he had finished. Zuko searched for his Uncle in the small group and traced him back to a relaxed spot a little further away from the others and near to the shady tree line.
The young man coolly strode over to his Uncle and dropped down beside him. Zuko ran his fingers stiffly through his growing hair and stared out at the flowing water only feet away. "So, Nephew, did you release some of that pent-up aggression you had?" Iroh asked without turning towards him. Zuko spun his head to face him and gave a wild-looking frown, "Who said that I was angry?" he demanded. Iroh calmly faced his obviously fuming nephew, "I never said that you were angry, Zuko…all I did say was that you had some pent-up aggression. Nothing more…" Iroh contemplated bringing Zana up as a topic, but thought better of it. Instead, he cautiously started, "Though I know that we have not traveled as far as you had hoped today, maybe we should stay here for the night. I can tell that tensions are already high with weariness and that Water Tribe boy is not yet back from searching for food." Iroh's stomach let out a perfectly timed growl, "And…maybe if he is not back soon…we can go and look for him and possibly get some more of our own?"
Zuko's eyes rolled at his dramatic uncle and stood back up with an exasperated sigh. "Where are you running off to, Nephew?" Iroh looked up at Zuko. Without turning his eyes downward to his uncle, he spoke in a monotone voice-masking all emotion, "I guess I have to go look for that idiot of a warrior or we will never be on our way."
"But what makes you so certain that he needs to be found?" Iroh asked. Zuko's amber eyes were trained on the river as he released a small snicker from the back of his throat, "Please, Sokka in the woods for hours looking for food is bad enough, but him all alone is a completely different story. Besides, he couldn't have gotten that far…"He waited for a snotty retort from the older man relaxing on the pebbles, but none came.At this, a slightly surprised Zuko looked downwards and was met by Iroh's dark eyes, "Just so long as you are as careful as you can be, Nephew." There was a cloud of easily identifiable concern hovering around him, but it was understandable-Zuko was all Iroh had left in the world; not to mention that he seemed like more of a son than a nephew to him.
As a last hope just before Zuko began to walk away, Iroh called up to him, "Well, why not take Zana with you? I am sure that she would be of use if you find yourself in any trouble," he hinted, hoping to get some sort of jugement as to what had heppened between the teens. There was a flicker of a frown that crossed Zuko's face, but it was nothing more, "I don't need her...she will be fine here without me."The last words seemed to be painful, but as they still hung in the air between them, Zuko disappeared into the dim and shady light beneath the forest's canopy.