CHAPTER 4! Wow, I haven't updated in forever, blame it on my teachers! I think I might be able to write this chapter straight through, though, because I just made a really good mix. The reviews are awesome, and my back doesn't hurt! Wow, I'm going a bit exclamation point happy. Umm…story (unveils curtains with hands, or magic, or whatever). And, hey it wasn't a very different scene, I thought of something.

CHAPTER 4

When I leave Rayanne's building I see Brian leaning on his car, staring off in space. When he sees me he practically jumps up, "How'd things go with Rayanne?"

"Good, I guess. She forgives me."

Brian nods, "Yeah, that's a good sign."

I grab my hair and pull, not too hard though. "God, I was so mean to her. Then she just forgave me, without much explanation either. I am so lucky…not the pregnant thing, the friends thing."

"Yeah, Rayanne's cool."

"I'm talking about you too, Brian."

We're driving now. Brian turns to look at me and nearly crashes into a poll. "Me?"

I let out a short laugh, "Yeah, you. Don't act surprised, you've been here for me this whole time."

"So are you gonna tell Jordan about…you?" Brian likes to change the subject when it's on him.

"Maybe. I don't really see why, though. It's not like I want anything to do with him anyway. And it's not like he'd do anything."

Brian pulls the car over to the side of the road. He looks at me. "Are you gonna tell your parents?"

I let out a long breath. "Oh, god, I don't know. I'm gonna have to, or they'll find out by themselves and I'll get in even more trouble. Uhhh, god, why did this have to happen? Why was I so stupid?"

Brian puts his hand on my shoulder, "You weren't stupid. He was…he is."

We stay like that for a few seconds, just looking at each other. Then I lean in and kiss him. Hard. He pulls back.

"What," I ask, "you don't want me or something? The fact that I was with Jordan just labels me trash?"

"No! It's just, you're not thinking normal right now. Tomorrow, when you get yourself together, you won't want to kiss me. You'll just want it to be the way it was yesterday."

"You didn't seem too concerned about kissing me this morning."

"I know…but I should have, you were upset then too then."

I sit up and look forward. He starts driving again. "God, I hate that your parents are psychiatrists."

He laughs and keeps driving.

X+X+X+X+X+X

We go back to Brian's house, because he knows his parents won't be there.

"Briiiiiiaaaaaaaaaan…" I wine, "…will you help me with my geometry? I have a test Friday and I have no idea how to do anything."

Brian smiles. I think he's happy just to be back to normal…just like he said. "Yeah."

We walk over to my house to get my stuff. I cross my fingers that my parents won't be there. They aren't, and I'm glad. I can't face my parents. Something might slip. We get my stuff and leave, back to his house. We walk up to his room without saying a word to each other. He explains all of the formulas and equations, gives me ways to remember them. I look at my watch and it's 5:00.

"Oh, crap, I should go home. I'll see you tomorrow, though…OK?"

"Yeah…if you need anything else, just tell me."

"Thanks Brian, but I think I'm good." I pick up my things, and start to walk out of his room and he stops me.

"No. I mean, like, ever. You don't have to hide anything from me, I'm here for you, OK?"

"I think you've proved that already, but thanks." I walk downstairs, and out of his house, not looking back, afraid of saying—or doing—something that I'd regret tomorrow, or whatever Brian said.

I get back to my house, and my mother just casually waves to me as I walk up to my room. It makes me want to laugh, or cry—I'm not sure which—at her clueless-ness.

I shut my door, turn my depressing music way up, and let all the thoughts in my head disappear. All my thoughts of Jordan, all my thoughts of Brian, all my thoughts of my parents, and what was growing inside me. One thought pops into my head: Would it make this any better if this were Brian's baby? I don't know where that thought came from, or why I didn't ignore it, but it stuck with me. Would my parents hate me any less if I was impregnated by a straight A student who I've known all my life, then if it was a failing student with a failing band and a failing life? Now a million questions, all on this topic, are popping into my head. Does it matter whose child it is, or will be? If it did, which situation sounded better? If it was better that it was Brian's child, would he say it was his? Would I say it was his? What if it was his (even though it definitely not)? Would he marry me, support the baby?

I turn my music up louder to drown out the thoughts. I think I hear one coming into my head, so I turn the music up louder. A few minutes later there's a loud knock on my door. I turn the music off.

"Yeah?" I ask.

Danielle comes in. "I've been shouting for you for forever. Dinners ready."

"Oh…ok…what time is it?"

"It's 8:00," she says, her face going 'duh'.

"Wait, how?"

Danielle rolls her eyes, and stomps down the stairs. "Why do I have to have a weird sister? Why can't I have a normal one, who walks me home from school, Like Stacy does?"

How did 3 hours pass? Did I fall asleep thinking? Wait, shouldn't my music have stopped? I look at it. It's on repeat. Oh. Well, how did I fall asleep without knowing…or did that many thoughts cross through my head? Oh well, I guess I'll never know.

Dinner is good. Cooked by the master chef, my father. There was no conversation, which was weird, because usually people will make something up to talk. My mother has been more quiet than usual today. Now she speaks quietly.

"Angela, I got a call from Camille today. She was in the department store." Oh no. My dad looks at Danielle and she leaves the room, goes up to her room. "She says you were buying something, she didn't think it was for you. Do you remember that?"

I nod my head, a stray tear falling down my face. Both my parents know the outcome of the test from that one tear. And know who it was for.

My dad speaks up. "How could you let this happen? We didn't even know you were sexually active—"

My mother butts in, "You know you can tell us anything. You should have talked to us, you know we would have—"

"Talked me out of it."

My mother shakes her head, like she was disappointed by my answer. "No, I wasn't going to say that."

"But you know it's true," I say. "But it's not like I was planning on it. It wasn't an appointment that I scheduled and had work it out with you first. It just happened. And I'm sorry. And it's not fair to call me "sexually active" because I only had sex once…but I guess that's all it takes. And I'm sorry, and I was going to tell you, but I was scared. And I still am scared and I don't know what to do, and I need help." Streams of tears are running down my face now. My mother runs over and hugs me, while my dad walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"We'll help you honey," my mom says, crying now too.

"Of course we will," my father says, and I can hear him crying in the back of his throat, not wanting to let in out. Seeing—or at least hearing—my parents like this makes me cry even harder.

My parents let me go to bed, my eyes red and swollen. They say their going to talk to me in the morning, and I'm half grateful, and half dreading it. It's only 9:00 so I call Brian.

He answers, and when I say "hey" he can hear in my voice that I've been crying.

"What happened? Do you want me to come over?"

"Can you climb through my window?"

"Sure…I'll be right over."

In about 2 minutes I hear him tapping my window. I let him in, and sit down on my bed. He sits next to me, and when he sees my eyes he hesitantly puts his arm around my shoulder. I fall into him.

"My parents know. They know I'm pregnant, and tomorrow they'll know that I've been drinking. A lot." His grip on my shoulder tightens.

"Are they OK? Are you OK?"

"They're better than me."

"Angela, even though your parents know, I still want to help any way I can…how did they find out anyway?"

"Cherski's mom gossips almost as much as her." Brian laughs and hugs me tighter.

X+X+X+X+X+X

I wake up, this morning, in Brian's arms. I fell asleep again without noticing. I wake Brian up. He sees me and smiles. Then he realizes where his is, and jumps up out of my bed.

"How did we fall asleep?"

"Don't ask me," I say casually. I don't think he likes my tone.

"What if your parents saw us? What if my parents looked in my room and couldn't find me? Do you know how much trouble I'd be in?"

I sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, but I'm sure if they do get mad at you I can explain what happened. Your parents like me."

He laughs, "No they don't." I look at him, confused. He explains. "They think you're a bad influence on me. They think that you'll, like, use me. Or something."

I laugh. "Well you should get back home. Can you climb through your window?"

"Yeah," he starts climbing out mine, "I'll see you." I grab his arm and he turns around to look at me. I kiss him. Not as hard as before, but not as soft as that morning either. It lasts for a few seconds and a softly pull back.

"See," I say, "I didn't change my mind."

Then he leaves, and I lay back on my bed, lips still tingling. Then drift back to sleep, with thoughts of pregnancy nowhere near me, and thoughts of Brian all over.

OK, that took longer than I thought, but I wrote it, and that's what matters…I think. I hope you all liked it, because if you didn't, then I'll cry myself to sleep every night, thinking of the previous chapters and where I went wrong…R&R!