A/N: Sorry for the super late update! I've been having exams and such, and even this has been written in the midst of my mid exam break. I'd like to thank everyone who's read this for continually reading it, and all the anonymous reviewers that have given me reviews, thank you. In response to Bakabaka, hell yeah, there's a lot more where that came from, and hopefully it'll be as good or better than what i've already written.

This chapter's mostly on Komachi. Second only to Katsushiro (Kirara's been relegated to third once i realised how addicted i became to Komachi's character), she's one of my favourite characters in the story. Her seiyuu is awesome! She's cute, spunky and absolutely completely honest and sincere whenever she says something. Can we all say..Kawaii!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Samurai 7 or any characters contained therein. As an additional note, Nasami is the property of Samuraiko from the story The Sword of the Soul. If you've seen S7 the anime, i strongly recommend that you read her story. 'Tis an awesome take on events, as well as fits in many of the gaps the anime may have left. With that out of the way, read on and i hope you enjoy!

A/N 2: Sorry, had to repost. Too many grammatical errors and my internet stuffed up, not allowing me to fix them on size=1 width=100% noshade>

Chapter 4: Growth

The next time he awoke, his muscles no longer ached with the cramps he had felt from that last time. Testing his body, he slowly eased himself upright, wondering how much of what he remembered had been only a dream or some hallucination his tortured mind could think up in an elaborate scheme against himself to atone for his guilt. Satisfied that he seemed to be as fit as he could be, he stretched, looking around for two things-Kirara, and the sword. He didn't know if he should call it his now that he had killed Kanbei with it, or see it as Kanbei's since by killing his sensei, he had forfeited his right to honour, and thus the sword and the life of a samurai.

"Ooh, Katsunoji! You're awake!" The cheerful sound of a young girl's voice broke his depressing train of thoughts and he turned to see a girl very much like a younger version of Kirara, but with shoulder length hair grinning widely at him who rushed to clumsily ladle a bowl of something that smelled like herbal medicine and hold it out to him with both arms outstretched.

"K-Komachi..?" he ventured, thinking of the only person but Kikuchiyo who would call him by that name. If it were possible, the grin on the girl's face only grew wider as she nodded as an affirmative. Truly, the energy that the girl possessed was infectious, and before he could stop himself, Katsushiro himself had broken into a slight smile, the corners of his mouth upturned as he held the bowl of now apparently foul smelling medicinal herbs in his hands. He remembered a bowl like that from his memory of the first time he had woken up. Til now, he still could not decide if that had been real, or it was yet another of his dreams. Caught in the moment of Komachi's enthusiasm and abundant cheeriness, he had forgotten his initial purpose of scanning the room, but now that it was back, his face took on a dark expression again as he pondered his problem.

Reading his mind, she leaned closer to him to stare into his eyes, observing his face with her clear, innocent eyes.

"You know, you really haven't changed a bit Katsunoji! You're still thinking of ne-sama aren't you?"

Katsushiro said nothing, but averted his gaze from hers as a measure of his denial and to hide his embarrassment that his mask, the one he had donned for so many years had now been so easily penetrated by this teenage girl with nothing but spunk and no tact whatsoever.

"Shh shh shh..I was right! She was here last night you know, and every day since you were brought in here. I'm just covering for now, since last night she came back and wouldn't say anything but.."

She leaned in towards him with one hand cupping her mouth and a mischevious glint in her eyes and whispered into his ear, "I think she likes you," then laughed herself silly when she saw that Katsushiro's face had begun heating up, blood rising to his ears as he quickly took on the appearance of something resembling a tomato.

For the moment, Katsushiro felt like he was 16 again, travelling with Kanbei sensei and Kikuchiyo. Then, Komachi had teased him to no end about his attraction to her elder sister. Despite his misgivings and despite all that he had taught himself not to do, he rose to the bait like he was 16 once more and yelled irritably, "She doesn't like me!"

Childish as ever, even in her teens, Komachi was enjoying the sight of a very uncomfortable Katsushiro. Giggling uncontrollably, she ran around the little hut with her arms spread out to her sides shouting, "Katsushiro likes Ne-sama!"(1)

Once again feeling his cheeks heat up, Katsushiro tried to catch her from where he sat with one hand, and his bowl of medicine in the other, yelling at her,

"Come on, cut it out! I already told you, she doesn't like me and I've got no time to fall in love either,"

to no effect, when this only increased the mirth in her voice as she continued repeating the phrase and running aimlessly around the room to escape his flailing arm.

Being unable to catch her, and with his words having no effect, Katsushiro then turned to the medicine in his hands and chugged it down slowly, pointedly ignoring Komachi and her teasing. However, as he drank, his thoughts wandered, straying from the annoying sing-song voice that Komachi had adopted. He'd missed them all so much. Kanna, Komachi and especially Kirara. The years he had spent purposely avoiding Kanna had dulled his senses and made him blind to so many things, particularly those involving himself. He'd forgotten the last time he had allowed himself the luxury of a light hearted moment, or the last time a smile, true and genuine had graced his lips like they had earlier and were straining to do even now. Komachi, her spunk and smiles had gotten to him, making him do something he had failed to do in over 10 years-truly feel happy. It was true that he loved Kirara as much as a man could love a woman, yet he loved Komachi as well, though not quite in the same sense. He thought of her as the sibling he had never had. The kid sister he would have spoiled silly with treats, tricks and chase around all day just to pinch her cheeks had he had one, and she had just proven to him why. She made him smile in any situation, and lifted his spirits just by being herself. While Kirara brought him back to the most memorable and emotional moments of their adventures so long ago, only Komachi could truly transport him back to the time that he had been hassled by Kikuchiyo and then even chuckled at by Kanbei while travelling to Kanna. With her, he could pretend everything was alright and even hope that just maybe, he had a chance with Kirara again.

Even as the thought crossed his mind, he stopped himself before it could progress any further. He had learned from experience, expectation was the first step towards disappointment, especially when you knew that what you wanted was something beyond your reach, something so impossible that it could only happen in your dreams, and sometimes, not even then. She did not love him, she could not love him, and after what he had done, there was no chance that any of that would ever change.

Just as quickly as his mood had been lifted, a veil of darkness seemed to have settled upon him again at the depressing thoughts that filled his head. He once again wondered how he could break the news to the villagers, how he would deal with their accusing stares, and how Kirara would react to it. Glumly, he held out the bowl to Komachi in one hand as he quietly said, "Stop it, she won't ever love me."

Upon hearing this, she froze midstep and midsentence, almost tumbling onto the ground in an awkward position. She sensed the sombre nature of his mood and the seriousness of his words. Silently, she took his bowl and deposited it in a corner where it would be cleaned later. Her eyes glistened with a tinge of sadness at the resigned tone of his voice, his unspoken pain for his unrequited love obvious from the expression on his face. All these feelings she saw within him only made her think about the mechanical samurai who had once been her constant companion, whom she had fallen for even though she had been so very young. It was hard, knowing that you never would have a chance at love simply because the one you loved was dead, taken by the very cause they had brought him there to fight for.

Seeing Katsushiro in so much pain, and her sister suffer so much over the years because he had left, and because Kanbei had broken her heart, she was determined that as long as she had any say in it, neither of them would hurt any longer. From a young age, she had always been very perceptive of things around her, particularly the feelings of the people she knew. Perhaps it was because of this that she adopted a cheerful, friendly and positive attitude-so that no one would have to worry about her, so that everyone else would be happy too. As she trained to be a water maiden, this perceptiveness inborn in her had been honed, and nowadays, she could usually tell what a person was thinking just by looking at them. Squatting down so her head was at Katsushiro's level, she looked him in the eyes and said to him, simply,

"Don't give up Katsunoji. Don't ever give up," before standing again and as if casting a magic spell, she said, in an almost commanding tone, "Now, sleep!"

As he felt the medicine take hold of him and his consciousness slip out of his grasp, Katsushiro suddenly remembered the other thing that he had been looking for. Grabbing the tips of her fingers before she walked out of the hut, he rasped, "Katana.." hoping she had heard him, before succumbing to the drug, and allowing himself to sleep once more.

She'd heard him, though barely, and spared a small secret smile to herself. Indeed Katsunoji had become a true samurai. She picked up his sword which stood beside Kirara's bookcase and placed it by his side before walking out of the hut to meet Okara.

Kirara sat at the side of the river which led to the waterfall. She had to think, and because of her training as a water maiden, she did her best thinking in the presence of water. Last night, the embrace with Katsushiro had been unexpected to say the least. She definitely did not expect to have broken down in front of him at the mere thought of Kanbei, and the epiphany that she had had while in his arms was heavy on her mind as well. She definitely did not expect him to wake up because of her tears, for him to put his arms around her and hold her like he did, lending her his comfort and warmth, assuring her he knew how she felt because he felt it too, all without saying words. And she had definitely not expected it to feel so right.

Surprisingly, it was not Kanbei's death that she agonised about now. She had acquired more than the closure she had desired in the arms of Katsushiro the night before, and she was even able to help her grandmother clean Kanbei's body neutrally and professionally. Unlike visions of herself that she had had, in which she had broken down upon seeing Kanbei's dead body, her trembling hands clutching Kanbei's body, unwilling to believe that he was dead. Those fears had made her hesitant to agree when she had been asked to help her grandmother with the task. However, contrary to her expectations, she had been calm, silent and respectful when she'd cleaned him up and prepared him for the burial, which would commence as soon as Katsushiro was well enough to attend the funeral.

It was the state of her current relationship with Katsushiro that had her concerned. The events of the night before replayed itself over and over again in her mind, until she had memorised every detail, every feeling, every scent, every sight, and every curvature of his body that had brushed hers and given her comfort. But the puzzling thing was, what did the embrace really mean to both of them? After all these years, what did he feel about her? More importantly, how did she feel about him? She had rejected him, pushed him away and crushed his dreams all those years ago. She had led him down the path of blood that he was now on, and for some reason it distressed her how cold he had seemed while he had been unconscious, how dangerous he had felt when he had been awake. It worried her that he had well and truly barricaded his heart, like she had predicted, stopped himself from feeling anything, including anything, and perhaps especially anything to do with her. But at long last, she finally realised that for better or worse, she was attracted to him now, more than ever before. She wanted more than anything to walk into the hut, shake him awake and spill the contents of her heart to him, but she couldn't. Fear held her back. The fear of rejection, the fear of seeing herself as just another girl in his eyes that led to her asking Komachi to look after him while he was awake until she was ready to confront him again and hopefully by then, she would be ready for whatever he really felt for her, because deep inside, she felt that somehow, she deserved it for all that she had done to him in the past.

A chill ran down her spine as the wind brushed her auburn tresses out of her face and a single tear snuck down the side of her cheek to mingle with the running water of the river. She raised her head to the sky and prayed to her gods that everything would turn out alright.

Meanwhile, somewhere across their world, a figure saddled a turtle and spurred it on, making as much haste as she dared in the dark. She had just received disturbing news from the villagers of their neighbouring village, and she had to find out the truth. For only this one man, she would do anything, including travel the length of the world to visit the village that he had saved many years ago, in quest of the truth. Her resolution absolute, she disappeared into the night, white hair streaking behind her as she rode the turtle as fast as she dared to in the darkness.

Author's Notes:

I imagined this bit said by Komachi in Japanese, reminiscent of the way she continually teased Katsushiro in episode 10 during their trip to Kanna. Not too good with Jap spelling, but i will give it a go, it's pronounced something like, "Katsunoji wa Ne sama no koto sui teru desu" but perhaps shortened to just "Katsunoji wa Ne-sama ni sui teru!" (Sorry, bad with jap grammar too hehe)

Anyways, Katsushiro will be out of the hut soon! You'll see. I'm just having a trouble and writing myself into a big hole by making more and more people come visit him. Hehe, horrible planning on my part. It was supposed to be just a short story, but now there are just so many ideas that i've implanted into it (which reminds me, Nasami may take a few more chapters to appear, seeing as how she has to travel, and Katsushiro can't be asleep for days on end.), it turns out i might have to keep writing this for a long while yet. So please, stay tuned, and let me know what ya think!

Ps: Upon rereading, i think there are many parts of the chapter where my writing's been sub-par / Not too satisfied with it yet, but let me know what you think.

Once again, domo Arigatou gozaimas. Feel free to review if you believe i deserve one, whether positive or otherwise.