"What the Hell is this?"
As it turned out, Rose had slept for far longer, and it was now about eleven o' clock. The lights inside the TARDIS were dim, though, and it still felt like the middle of the night. Rose stood in the doorway of the control room, fully dressed with a large black bag in her hand, looking expectantly at the Doctor.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
Rose gestured at the dozens upon dozens of candles that littered the floor, the console, anywhere that could be found to stand them. "You do know these things are all over the ship, don't you? I nearly set fire to myself."
The Doctor's face remained impassive, but his voice betrayed the emotions running through him. "I can't do anything today, can I?"
"No. You can't."
"I didn't know she'd lock us in. Daft girl thought it'd make me talk – about…well, you know." He advanced cautiously towards Rose, picking his way through the candles. "I couldn't get the words out, so she tried to do it for me, but she really didn't realise, Rose."
"I am…so tired." The black bag fell limply to the floor. "I'm tired."
"I tried to tell her! Bad idea, really bad idea, but she wouldn't listen, and you got all scared about what had happened, and I couldn't get the words out again. Then you ran off, and we didn't know…God, Rose, we were terrified, it was like she was screaming inside my head, run! Run, because I don't know how long she's got!"
Rose's face was blank. The Doctor couldn't tell whether she was listening or not, or whether the words were simply passing straight through her, but he kept on.
"Oh, God…God, seeing you lying there. The screaming! It wasn't human, Rose!" He crumpled, falling backwards and landing in a sitting position on the floor, clutching at his head as though he was in pain. "I thought you were going to die," he sobbed, "and she thought you were going to die, and it took that for me to say it! It took all that for me to say I love you! I was angry with her, so angry because she'd shown you all that and you couldn't handle it. And you stopped…I thought it was going to be okay. It was like it never happened," he muttered, looking up at Rose like he wanted her to answer some unspoken question.
"I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating it like a joke. I'm sorry for acting like some randy teenager, making stupid comments, poking around in your head like it was open access. I'm sorry for scaring you. I just thought that maybe…maybe it'd be better if you could just talk, you know? Get out whatever you had to, and…I can't even do that right!"
Rose edged round the candles, her bag forgotten for the moment, and sat down in front of the Doctor.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. But I'm so tired."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know what I do at night? Every time you go off into some mad crusade to save the world, and you leave me behind, and I don't know whether you're coming back – that scares me. When I'm in that room on my own, that's when I'm scared the most. I cry. I cry and I scream and I kick things and the TARDIS makes it so you can't hear the noises. But I'm tired! I'm so tired of crying, Doctor, I can't do it anymore!"
"I should've said something so much sooner, Rose. Forget the nobility." He held out his hands to wipe the tears from her face, but she stopped him.
"Don't. Please? I can't stay here. I can't stay here never knowing whether, every time we go out of that door, I'm going to come back on my own. And if you do that," she looked down pointedly at his hands, "I don't think I'm ever going to be able to leave."
"Don't leave me. They all leave me."
"I have to. What you've done, all this – it's beautiful. Thank you. Apology accepted." Rose placed the Doctor's hands firmly but gently into his lap, then reached up and unhooked the clasp that held the chain round her neck. "Take this back, so I can never come back in. I'm going to walk out of that door, and I want you to start her up, and disappear as far as you can, and no matter how much I shout or cry or bang on the door, you leave. Got that?"
The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. Tears falling freely, he just nodded dumbly, and got up, turning in silence towards the console. As Rose made her way carefully among the candles to the door, he hit a few switches, then followed her to the threshold.
"We landed on your estate yesterday. Should still be there."
Rose swallowed and licked her lips, trying to think of the right thing to say. "I love you," was all that came out.
"I love you." The door closed, and the Doctor was left alone in the room full of candles. Behind him, on the console, was a small red button. He didn't know where he'd go if he pushed it, and he didn't care.
But he pushed it anyway.