The Surprise Stories

by Dark Rabbit

Pure crack, all of these, because that's what I write when my brain is fried. The pairings are yaoi mostly and Seto's in them mostly, and if you're not permanently scarred, well then I'm not doing it right.

9. Yami's Infomercial

"Hi, I'm Weevil Underwood," the boy gives his biggest grin, while the camera light reflects off his glasses.

"And I'm Yami no Yuugi. You might remember us as former Duel Monsters Champions..."

"Again," Pegasus' voice is very bored, "and can you put some feeling into it this time Yami?" He motions, and the camera starts rolling.

"You might remember us as former Duel Monsters Champions..." Yami stops dead. "I am undefeated King of Games, Pegasus," he says.

"Yeah," Weevil pipes up, "and no one's beat me as Kansai Regional Champion yet either." He smirks as if he's just proved something.

"And no one cares?" Pantomiming an elaborate yawn, "that plus three dollars will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, Yami. You're lucky I chose you for this infomercial." Waving his hand languidly, "proceed," he says.

"...Hi, I'm Weevil Underwood," one of them has taken his words to heart; the little Champion is perkier, his shrill voice more expressive than ever.

"And I'm Yami no Yuugi," Yami thinks longingly of Pharaonic courtrooms, of climactic duels and Monsters that are all too real. He finds himself missing Yami no Bakura. "You might remember us as former Duel Monsters Champions," for that matter, he misses Yami no Malik as well, and Dartz, and even Siegfried, whose schemes against Kaiba at least used to provide a little excitement, "we're here today," he says, "to tell you about a remarkable new product," and he goes into his sales pitch.

Weevil stays right by him, his little frame erect, his glasses very shiny; it's his job to sound excited, every time Yami pauses for breath, plus he has to tell people how many payments of $19.95 to send.

Hands folded in front of him, Pegasus watches with a faint smile. Really, you can get anyone to do anything if you want them to, all it takes is a little money and an awful lot of influence. It's fun watching Dark Yuugi work for a change, watching him obey orders; watching what he and Weevil do together in the next film though, the one he'll be keeping for his own enjoyment, that's going to be delicious.