All Tied Up And No One To Prank

Anyone who has read Vathara's 'Upon A Fiery Steed' will recognize what the microwave popcorn and wet fuse are for. Anyone who hasn't…go read that fic. Immediately, if not sooner. Ano…after you finish this chapter. :-)

"Duo Maxwell, has anyone ever told you that are an irritating pest?" Treize inquired, eyes following the braided menace as he stalked around him.

Duo snorted and continued in his work. "Yup, Heero and Wufei, all the time. And I don't listen to them, either," he added with a cheeky grin. With those words – and a rather large ripping sound – he finished wrapping the last of the duct tape around the former General, his lady wife, and the two chairs they were sitting in, back-to-back.

Standing back to admire his handiwork, Duo took no notice of the twin scowls that were on his boss's and her husband's faces.

"Might I inquire as to why you have us tied up?" Treize asked civilly.

"Of course you may!" Duo answered cheerfully. He smirked. "But that don't mean I'm going to give you an answer."

Commander Une sighed. "Maxwell, what is this all about?" She gestured with her chin at the rest of the room, which was, at that moment, filled with all sorts of paraphernalia including large tubs of glitter and tubes of superglue, multicolored metallic confetti, half a dozen rubber chickens, ten cans of whipped cream, a box of microwave popcorn – which was resting next to a vial of what she was almost certain contained what was known with apprehension around the Bomb Squad as 'Maxwell's Special Number 7,' a wet fuse which ignited on drying – hair dye in a rainbow of colors and a box of neatly labeled computer disks that had her itching to lock up her laptop for fear of having chibi Gundams running amok on her computer screen. She'd heard what had happened to Zechs' Tallgeese and had no wish to see it firsthand.

Hiding a smile, Treize shook his head. "Maxwell, you are evil."

Duo nodded solemnly. "I blame it on the universe. The universe is an evil place. But at least it seems to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Unlike you," he added pointedly.

"You're the one who started this, Agent Death," Une said, her use of his designation making it very clear that were they not all off-duty she would have put him on report and then cheerfully shot him for good measure. If Maxwell were convalescing, surely he wouldn't be able to cause as much trouble.

One could hope, at any rate.

Duo sighed exasperatedly. "And I for some reason everyone feels the need to make sure I get hit more than once," he replied. "It wasn't only me, you know. I played another in my long line of jokes on 'Fei, and he decided to bring the rest of you into it. I may have started this whole thing, but he's the only who spread the joy."

"Chang?" Treize inquired with a disbelieving lift of his brow. "I find that hard to swallow."

"You know I never lie, T-man," Duo reminded them both. "I always tell the truth – even if I have to lie to do it!" he added cheekily.

Treize grimaced at the joke. "Point," he admitted.

Une nodded sullenly.

"But that's no reason to subject us both to…whatever you have planned," Treize added, eyeing the accumulated items with thinly-veiled distress.

Duo smirked. "No, but the fact that I haven't gotten either of you yet is." With that, he pulled out a device from his pants pocket – it resembled a cross between a remote control and a cellular phone – pressed a button on it, and plunged the room into darkness.

He cackled maniacally and, ignoring the sputters and threats of death his two 'captives' sent his way, grabbed his prank paraphernalia. With an unseen mischievous light in his eyes, Duo set to arranging his pranks around the office, in places where both Treize and Une would run into them once they managed to get the duct tape off.

Finishing his booby-trapping in a matter of minutes, Duo pressed a quick kiss to Une's cheek and sprayed the both of them with rainbow Silly String before scampering off to make mischief elsewhere, Treize's shout of indignation ringing in his ears.

"Maxwell!"

Duo snickered and made good his escape. He still had all but one of the rubber chickens, the microwave popcorn and his wet fuse, half his supply of confetti, and all of the boxes of hair dye to use – and he still had the other pilots to prank.