Chapter Five

Several months after leaving Tucker in California found Jazz sitting in the university library trying desperately to study, unfortunately she was having difficulty concentrating. She was preparing for a few tests, then going home for Thanksgiving. She was seriously considering visiting Tucker rather than her family for Christmas, and had definitely decided she was definitely going to spend summer vacation in California. Summer couldn't come fast enough.

"I need to study," she whispered softly to herself then forced herself to concentrate on her reading. She looked at her watch and mentally told herself she could call and talk to him in an hour, and that the heartsickness she was feeling was ridiculous.

Someone sat down beside her and she smiled as she looked up at her friend, Robert. He looked at the book she was reading and nodded his head. She said nothing more as she returned her attention back to trying to read.

"Are you going to Dr. Fitzwilliam's lecture on Friday?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"This Friday?" Jazz asked as she mentally consulted the calendar in her head. Time was slipping by and getting away from her, just not in the right way.

"Yeah," Robert answered. "At four."

Jazz sighed heavily as she started gathering her books together. "I should go," she said. More to herself then her friend. "I really should, but I have so much studying to do."

Robert turned his head to the side. "How long have you been having an outer dialogue with yourself Jazz?"

She looked at Robert and smiled. "Since I became so busy that I forgot an about important psychology seminar that I'd been looking forward to all year."

"So you should come. I'll pick you up at your dorm around three. We can go out to eat afterward or something." Robert suggested with a hopeful look on his face that Jazz didn't even notice.

"Sounds good," Jazz told him almost absently as she picked up her books. Her mind was already, calling Tucker, though she was still standing in the library talking to her friend.

"Great!" Robert said as he stood. "It's a date! I'll see you Friday!" He smiled happily as he kissed her cheek, then took off before Jazz could say anything else. She frowned then shook her head. Robert had been one of her friends since their first year, it wasn't likely that he was asking her out on a date. She told herself she shouldn't even worry as she dug her cell phone out of her bag and left the library. By the time she dialed Tucker's number and he answered the phone, she'd completely forgotten about Robert and Friday lectures.

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If you had asked Tucker if he was happy, he would have shrugged his shoulders and evaded the answer. He admitted that Danny was right. He was Jazz sick. He missed her and was afraid that she'd decide things couldn't work out between them, that their lives were on two different courses, and there was no way those courses could be changed, especially for love.

Jazz had sent him an e-mail earlier that day telling him she wouldn't be calling him until late, it was Friday, so he decided to go out with his co-workers. His biggest worry was that Jazz would decide to end things between them, that she would find someone who was more professionally compatible.

They'd had the conversation a few times in the last couple of weeks, or the fight rather, though she called it a philosophical discussion. Jazz was so pragmatic that he expected her to call and tell him that she met someone and was ready to move on. He couldn't relax during conversations with her until the call finally ended with the usual promise to call again, and then all he wanted was talk to her again.

The throbbing music of the club Tucker had let his co-workers drag him to, was giving him a headache. He checked his cell phone to see if Jazz had called then sighed and looked at his half finished drink sitting on the table.

"You know," said a very sweet and feminine voice. "You shouldn't drink alone, especially with a sad look on your face like that." Tucker looked up to see a rather scantily clad woman sitting beside him.

"I've been here for five minutes," she told him. "Waiting for you to notice me and buy me a drink, but nothing."

"I'm sorry," Tucker said as he smiled a little at the woman.

"My name is Rita," she said as she held out her hand to Tucker.

"Tucker," he replied as he shook her hand. Rita nodded her head then narrowed her eyes at Tucker who was looking back at her curiously.

"So who's the girl?" she asked. Tucker looked at her in bewilderment.

"You are thinking about a girl," Rita stated. "That's the only way you wouldn't have noticed me."

Tucker smiled. "Yeah, my girlfriend." He sighed and wondered if he could really call Jazz his girlfriend. As time passed he became more and more unsure or the status of his relationship with Danny's sister. Did they just part as friends? We they together? She said she loved him, but hadn't said anything since except that she misses him, and she hadn't mentioned that in awhile. No, Jazz stayed away from any talk of relationships or emotion lately, making him feel even more on edge.

"So it's not cheating on her if you dance with me is it?" Rita asked. Tucker looked at her and wondered what Jazz would think.

"No," he answered.

"Good," Rita laughed then stood. "You look like you could use some cheering up." Tucker agreed and let her pull him to the dance floor, not that Tucker was a great dancer, even though he assured himself he was…he did have fun.

Rita introduced him to several of her friends, whom he danced with as well. His co-workers ended up joining the group and Tucker had to admit he had a great time, and it took his mind off of missing Jazz, if only for a little while.

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Jazz bit her lip as she stood in the lobby, holding the phone to her ear. She'd tried to call Tucker earlier that evening, feeling discomforted with Robert's presence and needing to hear Tucker's voice. She told herself she was calling because she forgot to tell him when she'd be home, but he didn't answer his cell phone. She tried his work number and his home phone, but still no answer. She was very worried. It wasn't like Tucker to not answer his phone.

Jazz went back into the auditorium, but was unable to concentrate on the lecture she was so upset. She'd called Danny who had told her in an amused tone of voice, when she called him frantically wondering if he'd heard from him or knew where he was, that if she didn't hear from him by the morning, that he'd fly to Tucker's apartment, though he'd never been there before, and check on him.

"Jazz?" Robert asked as he walked up behind her, she had fled to the lobby again to try to reach Tucker. "You're missing the lecture. Is everything okay?"

Jazz wiped the tears from her eyes. She told herself that she was being ridiculous. Tucker was probably asleep or maybe he was busy and couldn't hear the phone. She smiled slightly. He was probably singing at the top of his lungs and sending his neighbors into a riot.

"I'm fine," Jazz finally answered.

"Do you want to just go?" Robert asked worriedly. "We could go catch a bite to eat, hang out a little."

"Sure," Jazz said as she pocketed her cell and let Robert lead her from the auditorium to his car. He took her to a very nice restaurant where they sat and ate and talked, and generally had a good time. Jazz did her best to relax. She enjoyed Robert's company. He was a nice guy, but something about his demeanor was disturbing her.

"Jazz," Robert finally said as he took her hand from across the table. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Jazz looked at him in surprise. "Why?" She asked warily. Her heart was suddenly beating a million miles an hour. She never realized Robert liked her, and the dreamy look on his face told her he did.

"Because you are," he answered softly. Jazz laughed nervously as she gently pulled her hand away from his.

"Thank you," she told him as she felt a blush crawling up her face.

"I was hoping," Robert began almost nervously. "That maybe you and I could start seeing each other."

"What?" Jazz asked in bewilderment.

"Dating," Robert said as he grinned in amusement. Jazz blinked at him a moment then shook her head.

"What?" Robert teased as he ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. "Not cute enough for you?"

Jazz smiled softly. "You're very handsome, Robert and you know it. But I'm kind of involved with someone."

Robert blinked his dark brown eyes at her and looked confused. "Who?" he asked. "I've never seen you with anyone."

"His name is Tucker," Jazz answered. "He's in California right now…"

Robert shook his head. "Long distance relationship never work. He's probably seeing someone else as we speak."

"Tucker's not like that," Jazz said in outrage. "How you make such a judgment?"

"I'm a guy!" Robert answered. "I know how we are."

"Well then by that logic," Jazz began. "I shouldn't be involved with any of the male species."

Robert laughed. "Yes you should, but with me. We're compatible. We have the same goals in life, and similar back ground. Our personal beliefs are the same. We'd be perfect together."

Jazz raised her eyebrows as she leaned away from Robert who looked like he was going to lean in for a kiss. "What about love?"

"Love is just attraction," Robert told her. "And I'm very attracted to you."

"I'm involved with someone," Jazz repeated. "And I love him very much." She smiled a little as she let herself revel in her acceptance of that fact.

Robert took a deep breath. "Well if it doesn't work out with you and this guy," he started. "Will you consider give me a chance?"

"Maybe," Jazz said nervously. She finished her date with Robert, feeling extremely guilty about being out with him. She didn't even realize until he started talking about a relationship with her, that she was on a date. She wanted more than ever to talk with Tucker, and on top of everything, she felt guilty, like she'd cheated on him. Jazz dialed his number the moment she closed the door and sat on her bed.

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Tucker had drank only one drink at the club before switching to fruit juice. He didn't like alcohol that much, but he watched as his co-workers, Rita and her friends all drank to oblivion. Tucker offered to drive several of his co workers home and Rita tagged along, saying that she didn't think she could drive.

So it was that Rita ended up being the last person Tucker dropped off. He had just pulled up to her door when his cell phone rang. He looked at Rita who seemed to be nearly passed out in the back seat, then answered the phone.

"Tucker!" Jazz said her voice full of relief. "Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all night."

"I'm sorry," Tucker told her as he cradled the phone gently, as it was Jazz herself. "I went out with a few co-workers, I couldn't hear the phone."

"I was worried about you," Jazz said softly as she closed her eyes and sighed in relief. "I thought something had happened."

"I'm so sorry," Tucker told her sadly. "Time just got away from me. I knew you were going to that lecture and…"

Suddenly Rita sat up and put her arms around Tucker's neck, and said. "Tucker honey. Come up stairs and tuck me into bed."

"Who was that?" Jazz asked in shock.

"Rita," Tucker answered as a wretched burning sensation crawled from his stomach to the top of his head. "She's a woman I met at the club. She was too drunk to drive, so I said I'd give he a ride home."

"I see," Jazz said coldly.

"Let me get her upstairs and I'll give you a call back," Tucker told Jazz as Rita tried to paw her way into Tucker's shirt.

"Fine," Jazz said then hung up.

"Rita," Tucker said as he pushed her away from him. "You're home."

"You should come in," Rita told him. "I'll cook you breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," Tucker told her.

Rita gave him a wolfish smile. "You will be," she said suggestively. Tucker shook his head, then helped Rita out of the car and up to her door. She pressed her lips to his neck and sighed.

"Good bye," Tucker told her as he pushed her away.

"Don't be such a party pooper," Rita complained. Tucker took her keys, opened the door, put her in her apartment then ran back to his car and called Jazz. She didn't answer. He tried again once he got home, but still she didn't answer.

Tucker took a shower and got ready for bed before trying to call Jazz once more. She didn't answer so he looked at the clock. It was two thirty am, and he sat up most of the night, upset that Jazz wouldn't answer the phone, a feeling of terror coursing through his veins.

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Jazz called Danny in tears, the first thing in the morning, telling him that she was done with Tucker. Danny shook his head in confusion and asked why, then accused Jazz of being irrational as she explained what happened. Sam was laying with her head in his lap when her cell phone rang. She smiled as she sat up and walked out of the room, casting an amused look toward Danny.

"Hey Tuck," Sam answered.

"Have you heard from Jazz?" Tucker asked.

"She's talking to Danny," Sam told him. "What's going on? Did you have a fight?"

"I don't know," Tucker replied then detailed his last conversation, making Sam choke with laughter.

"So Jazz is jealous, and now she's mad," Sam stated.

"Of what?" Tucker asked irately. "I didn't do anything. Rita was the one pawing me."

"I'd be mad if I were her," Sam informed him gently. "I'd understand but I'd be mad."

"What was I supposed to do?" Tucker asked. "Let her drive drunk? I helped her upstairs, fought off all her advances."

"I understand," Sam said. "I think you just need to talk to Jazz. She called here twenty times last night, terrified that something had happened to you. We were getting ready to put the phone off the hook."

"Oh," Tucker replied.

"So she's a little mad." Sam continued. "Let her cool off."

"Okay," Tucker said sadly.

"It's going to be all right," Sam told him comfortingly.

But it wasn't.

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Jazz wouldn't talk to Tucker, or answer his calls. Danny talked to Tucker who explained the situation. Sam talked to Jazz who explained her feelings.

"It's better this way," Jazz told her. "I know Tucker didn't do anything wrong, but it just proved to me that this long distance thing isn't going to work. It's just not going to work."

"You want to end it because you feel too much for him," Sam accused. "Loving him makes you feel vulnerable."

"Since when are you into psychology?" Jazz asked almost sarcastically.

"I'm not," Sam told her. "But you're kind of obvious."

Jazz sighed in exasperation. "It's better this way," she started. "Things will never work for us. We're too far away from each other, leading different lives."

"You're such a coward," Sam accused. "You're breaking it off with him because you're coward!"

"Better now before we get in too much deeper," Jazz said tiredly.

"You're breaking his heart," Sam told her sister-in-law, her voice reflecting her anger.

Jazz took a deep breath. "It's better this way."

"If you say so," Sam replied stiffly. "When are you going to be home? Mom and Dad are going to some ghost hunting seminar…"

"I think I'm going to skip coming home," Jazz told her. "I've got a lot of work to do."

"Yeah well don't tell Mom that," Sam laughed. "And you come home or I'll send Danny after you."

Sam ended her call with Jazz then looked at Danny and shook her head. He frowned deeply as he pulled his wife close.

"I knew they shouldn't have gotten involved with each other," Danny told his wife sadly. "But you said it was sweet and romantic and they were meant for each other."

"I need to call Tuck," Sam said miserably. "But, I don't want to tell him what Jazz said."

"Let Jazz tell him," Danny said almost angrily. "I'm sick of playing mediator in their relationship. If they constantly need us as a go between, then Jazz is right."

"I hate seeing Tucker hurt," Sam sighed. Danny sighed in return and hugged her close.

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Jazz came home for Thanksgiving, but was jittery. Maddie commented sadly that her daughter had lost weight and tried to ply her with cookies, which ended up in Jack's pockets.

Neither Danny or Sam had said a word about Tucker and it was driving her crazy. She wanted to know he was okay. She wanted to hear about him, but she wasn't going to ask. She longed for any kind of news. Was he dating anyone? She didn't see him as the kind of person who would stay alone for long, he was too into romance and love.

The holiday came and went and Jazz found out indirectly that Tucker's parents had gone to see him for the holiday, he wasn't back in Amity Park, and her Thanksgiving was decidedly gloomy.

She was sitting on the couch reading when she imagined the door opening. She would have expected it to be her parents who were out shopping, or at the very least Danny, but instead, a tall man with dark skin and a red beret walked into the living room.

"What are you doing here?" Jazz asked in her dream, as her breath caught in her throat. Her heart began racing in her ears and she put her hand on her neck.

"I came to see you," her dream Tucker told her. "Since you won't answer my calls."

"Tuck," Jazz said then sighed as he sat down beside her and took her hand. "It's just better this way. What we had was wonderful, but we need to get on with our lives."

"I want a life with you," Tucker told her as he moved closer.

"Our lives are on different tracks," Jazz said. "It's a mistake."

"How can loving each other be a mistake?" Tucker asked as he put one hand behind Jazz's neck. She closed her eyes and tilted her face toward him.

"Because we'll just hurt each other," Jazz answered breathlessly then closed her eyes as Tucker moved even closer and pressed his lips against her own. She whimpered weakly before putting her arms around him and returning the embrace hungrily.

"I love you," Tucker said as he broke away from her lips. "So much it hurts" Jazz said nothing as she pulled him back to her mouth.

"Uh Jazz!" Danny's voice broke into the Jazz's dream world and she looked at him in bewilderment. No, Tucker wasn't there it was just a day dream and now she felt even more miserable. "Are you okay?" He looked at her worriedly as she flushed three shades of red.

"I'm fine," she said almost angrily. "What do you want?"

"You said you wanted me here at nine to take you back to school," Danny answered slowly. "But I'm a little late." Jazz looked at her brother a moment then leaned forward and put her face in her hands.

"Jazz" Danny asked as he put her hand on her back. "What's wrong?"

"Tell me about Tuck," she told him sadly. "Is he okay? What has he been doing? Who is he seeing? He is seeing someone, right?"

Danny looked at Jazz thoughtfully for a moment then said, "I'm not telling you anything. If you want to know how Tuck is, then call and ask him."

"I can't," Jazz said.

"Why?" Danny asked as he watched his sister sit up and gather her composure together.

"Because it's not the rational sensible thing to do," Jazz told him which caused Danny to burst out laughing.

"You've hardly been acting rational!" Danny pointed out. "First you jumped to the wrong conclusion, and then you wouldn't talk to him. You've broken his heart and now you want to talk about being rational?"

Jazz rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said. "You're right, I've been stupid. But you have to admit that my reasoning makes sense. Tucker lives in California now, I'm finishing up my PhD and am probably going to stay in state…Our lives are different."

"You're ridiculous," Danny laughed. "And you're cheating yourself out of the best thing to ever happen to you, for what?"

"It's a chemical reaction, Danny," Jazz said as she stood. "Just take me home." Danny shrugged his shoulders then stood and transformed into ghost mode. Jazz picked up her bags and looked at her brother for a minute. Shook her head then put her arm in his.

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"What do you mean, you're not coming home for Christmas?" Sam asked in dismay as she held the phone to hear ear as she tied her shoes. She was talking to Tucker, as she always did on Saturday morning.

"My parents are going to fly down for a few days," Tucker answered. "I just…I just think it would be easier."

"Avoiding Jazz?" Sam asked and regretted teasing him as he sighed.

"Yeah," Tucker admitted. "I am. It just hurts too much."

Sam finished tying her shoe and sat up. "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters," Sam told him. "But I really think it sucks, because I miss you too, and I don't think it's fair that I get deprived of my best friend's presence because my sister-in-law broke his heart."

"My heart's not broken," Tucker denied. "I just think it would be best if I stayed away, you know, give things time to heal."

"What happened to doing something crazy?" Sam asked. Tucker was silent for awhile.

"It's still in the works, but I guess the intention has changed," he answered. "I don't know maybe I should just forget the whole thing."

"I'm really sorry," Sam said gently. "I really thought things would work out between the two of you."

"So did I," Tucker told her.

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"Jazz," Robert said as he took her hand. "You're spacing out. What's wrong?" Jazz shook her head and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I'm just tired," she told him. He squeezed her tight and turned his attention back to the movie. Jazz closed her eyes.

Summer vacation was a week away. If things had worked out right, she would be making preparations to be spending the summer with Tucker. Instead, she was sitting in Robert's apartment, with his arm around her and worrying about going home for the summer.

"Sweetie," Robert said as he turned her face to look at him. "You're not still worrying about whether or not to take that volunteer position are you? I though we agreed that it would be great for your resume."

"No," Jazz said as she smiled a little. "I was thinking about something else."

"Leaving me for the summer?" Robert asked hopefully. Jazz smiled. They'd been dating for almost a month now. He'd been there through her break up with Tucker, not that the break was clean, he teased her about just running away and urged her to at the very least, write him a letter to tell him things were over, but Jazz resisted.

"Yeah," Jazz answered then closed her eyes as he kissed her. She kept her lips firmly shut as he pressed the kiss forward, pushing his tongue past her lips and pulling her closer. She struggled a minute then finally pushed him away.

"Jazz," he complained.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jazz asked angrily as she moved further away from him.

"Kissing you," Robert answered in exasperation. "You know, it's something couples do. Kiss. We're adults you know. Not teenagers holding hands on our parents couch. We've been seeing each other a month, known each other longer. I thought it was time!"

Jazz stood from her place beside him on the couch. "Don't I get a say in this decision?" she asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes," Robert told her. "I just thought…"

"You thought wrong!" Jazz responded.

"For goodness sake," Robert said in exasperation as he stood and walked toward her. "I'm your boyfriend. You're supposed to want to kiss me!"

"I'm not ready!" Jazz told him as she looked into his eyes angrily.

"It's him isn't it?" Robert asked bitterly. "I doubt you waited months and months before you allowed him to kiss you. You stayed with him for a few weeks, I think you probably did more than kiss him. I don't know why you're being such a prude!"

"I said," Jazz began calmly. "That I'm not ready."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cross your personal boundaries, it's just that you drive me crazy and….Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," Jazz denied as she wiped the tears from her face and grabbed her purse.

"Don't go," Robert said as he stood and put his arms around her. "You need to talk through this problem."

"What I need is some air," Jazz yelled as she shoved him away and ran out the door. He called after her, but didn't follow.

Jazz dug into her purse for her cell phone as she ran down the street. She stopped and hit the speed dial for Tucker's cell. She knew she should have deleted the number ages ago, but she couldn't do it. She blinked in surprise as a recording picked up which told her the number as no longer in service.

It was plausible that he changed carriers or numbers for some weird reason. She dialed his home phone and got the same recording. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before calling his work.

"Mr. Foley is not available for telephone consultation," the receptionist told her kindly. "Would you like me to relay a message?"

"No," Jazz said as she held back her tears. "Thank you." She sat down on the curb and started crying. She'd cut him off completely, so he did the same to her. She could imagine him with someone right now, maybe that woman, what was her name…Rita. He had to be at work, but as soon as he got home, she would be waiting for him at his apartment and he would greet the girl like he'd always greeted her, with a hug and a kiss and Jazz couldn't take it anymore. She needed to move on, but she just couldn't.

"Jazz," Robert said as he sat down next to her on the curb. She leaned into him and cried.

"Maybe," Robert continued. "You need some closure in your relationship with this guy."

Jazz nodded her head. "You're right."

"And I hope that when you finally do get that closure, that maybe you can commit your attention to us." Robert continued. "Because I really care about you, Jazz."

"Just give me some time," Jazz told him as she closed her eyes to hold back her tears. I just need time.

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You're probably looking for A/N I don't feel like writing. I am suffering from a serious case of apathy brought on by an even more severe case of writer's block. This story will probably be updated again before any of my others. I haven't even started on the next chapter of Disclosures. I'm sorry.

Review for me please and make me happy!