10/23/07 - I just went back and edited this chapter due to some "quirks" in the punctuation. It should be more readable now. :)

YES! THE BIRDIE IS BACK!

BECAUSE NOW SHE HAS INTERNET AGAIN!

Ah yes, AOL! Life is good.

I'm trop sorry I couldn't update in like a year...

Well, I see a lot of new faces here on A lot of people I don't know. Hello people I don't know, and people who don't know me! I hope you like my odd taste of humor, that is actually quite refreshing.

Maybe...

Anyways. This is for all you Vissery fans out there! Love yaz!

And now, without further adue, (I don't know if that's how you really spell that...!) I present to you,

Le (The) Valentines Visser Special!

Enjoy...

Entry something something

Ah, l'amour.

My heart pounds with feveryishness. I am waiting for my dately.

She is to appear at my Blade ship, which is quite nice and cleanedy. I made sure Aunt Chappie cleaned it for her

Chapman's new lifestyle is hard to get used to, but I'm willing to adjust. It's not often a Visser will get someone who grovels at your feet who then turns out to be your transvestite hosted Auntie. Many Yeerks go through endless paperwork for such an opportunity. I'm not sure what companies they fill out paperwork for, but I'm sure they exist.

Anyways. There I was. Waiting.

And...waiting.

And waiting...

Maybe I should have picked her up...?

But then, just as I was about to decapitate a subordinate in sheer frustration and anxiety...

There she was!

Behind me, the anxious symphony orchestra I had infested just for this purpose began to pick up their strain of the Beatles "Something in the Way she Moves."

I grinned at her.

"Ah, finally!"

"Oh! Like, hi and stuff."

"Ummm yeah...see, you made me wait, like, an hour."

"Well, like sorry and all."

"Aha...sorry...and all...Yes, that just excuses everything doesn't it"

The orchestra stopped playing.

"Now Visser Three." Chapman said.

"Shut up Chapman. Look lady, when you go out with a Visser, you need to show some respect."

"I'm a Visser too. she snapped."

"Yeah, but...I'm...better than you"

"How?"

"WEll...I'm...erm...I'm...higher in rank. And stuff.

"WEll, you like, are all, like, male chauvinist and all."

"Well you're a feminazi."

"Am not."

"Are too! ANd you're an excusey liar."

"Well you can just find somebody who's perfect then!" she snarled.

"Fine! Maybe I will!" I cried, my heart broken.

I ran away crying. Oh, my gosh. Just so totally wrong.

I lie on my bed in my room holding Luke Skywalker again, slurping my Oatmeal smoothie, and listening to Madonna. She is so deep.

"Visser?" I heard a knock at my door.

"GO AWAY!" I sobbed, in thoughtspeech, my soul totally destroyed by the thing known as 'love'.

He came in anyway. I threw Luke Skywalker, hitting him directly in the head. Or I should say 'her'.

He sat down beside me and patted my shoulder. I snuffled.

"Oh Aunt Chappie...it went so wrong."

"Yes, I saw Espy dear."

"It was so awful! She called me a male chauvinisty guy and she said I wasn't better than her and and and..." I wept the pain like, so great and all. "What did I do wrong?"

"Well, maybe you should just call her and tell her how you feel about it."

"I don't know...What if she laughs in my face? What if she says I look like George W. Bush when I'm angry? I don't know if I can take that Chapman..."

"Hee hee! You do look like George Bush when you're angry Visser!" he giggled happily.

"Uh, Chapman? Shut up."

"Oh, I know Visser, but it's just so cute! You get all squinty and..."

"Chapman. It's not a request. It's an order. Shut up."

"Ahem. Yes Visser."

I stood. Sometimes a Visser just has to do what he has to do, and you should never count your eggs before you put them in the bed.

Yeah. Something like that.

"Chapman, I must do it."

"Yes Visser" Chapman stood beside me."But...what are we doing exactly?"

"I don't know. But whatever it is, we've got to do it. For me."

"For you."

"Chapman?"

"Yes Visser?"

"Tooo the Yeerk Mobile!"

DONONONONONONON! SWIRLY LOGO OF A YEERK! TOTAL BATMAN RIP OFF MOMENT!

Swerving through space, we rode to my girlfriend's blade.

I got onto the ship and leapt up to her.

Aha! Fear not! I will rescue you from...erm...I don't know

"Hey. I like your costume."

I was squeezed rather uncomfortably into an old fashioned Batman costume. It ripped and busted as I stood there. Because it was meant for human beings to wear.

I got down on my...erm...knees...thingys...kind of...and looked up at her, from the floor, surrounded by shreds of Batman crap outfit stuff.

"I'm like, sorry about being all male chauvinisty and all."

"Oh, well." She looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry I called you a male chauvinist. You're not really."

"I'm not? Really."

She smiled and nodded. "Really."

Yay I leapt to my feet...erm...hooves...

So, we're still going out

"Um...yeah. Hey, thanks for the orchestra. They're kind of creepy though, they haven't stopped following me around and all..."

I looked at them. They were smiling crazily at us and playing.

RAAAAH I leapt upon them with my Visserly Vissery Wrath!

A few screams of agony and a few smacked up ochestrans and she was laughing.

Anything for a beautiful girl...

Twenty minutes later, we were watching Attack of the Republicans the Sequel, snuggled up on her couch thingy. We didn't make out because that's kind of hard when you're a Yeerk inside of an Andalite and your girlfriend is a Yeerk inside of a Hork-Bajir.

Erm, yeah. Plus it would have been a bit odd. Even just to attempt.

"So...what's your name anyway?" I asked, realizing I didn't know her actual Yeerkish name.

"Visser Twenty Seven." She said in a No Duh manner.

"No, I mean your real name. You know. Your name name."

"Oh. Unga 757."

What kind of name is Unga?