Notesky: Nothing in this chappie is R for pervy okay? It's just kissing! Get over it! Promise!
Entry you know what.
Visser One is going to die in agony if I ever become a Council Member before she does.
Why? Simple. She's the crackhead who let my bandits go last time! Just let them go! To make me look like crap. What a frickin' idiot! Anybody that stupid- stupid enough to commit treason just to make me look bad- deserves a painful agonizing stretched out death.
But people seldom get what they deserve. And fire is pretty, but only on subordinates.
After a nice snuggly date, I figured the heifer would leave me alone for a while. Surely she knew I wasn't ready for a commitment!
But the very next day of our loverly relationship after our nicely date, when I was happily playing Pac Yeerk (little game in which a Yeerk toodles along in a little maze chasing Andalite bandits that alternately chase him- basically the story of my life in a little two dimensional crap game), she sent a message to me.
"Visser!" Chapman called through my door.
(Yyyyyeah?) I called, a little annoyed having just died on the game.
"There is a message for you on the screen!"
I sighed and turned to my computer screen, away from my twenty foot tall plasma t.v.
My girlfriend was looking at me on the screen.
"Like, hi and stuff."
(Erm. Yeah. Great. Whee. hi.) I said, very into my oh so important game. The game that determined whether or not I would go onto the next level and further my Pac Yeerk career, or fade into the standard loser obscurity. All four eyes locked intently on the screen.
"Um, yeah, I thought we could like, you know, do something together today if you're not too busy, since I'm not."
(Yeah. Sure. Whatever.) I said, watching Pac Yeerk scrunch and thrust across the screen.
"Okay, well, I guess I'll come over and you can morph Hork-Bajir and we can make out and stuff."
(Eww. Okay.) I said, thumbs moving hectically around on my controls.
"Well, um, goodbye."
(Goodbye.)
"I guess I'll see you soon."
(Yeah. Okay. Bye.)
"Love ya."
(Gooodbyyyyeeee.) I enunciated.
"Bye." She sounded sad. Awww. She loves me so much! I'm so lucky!
She came over and sat down on the floor beside me, reclining a little. She began to stroke my ear. I twitched it away. She leaned toward me and whispered. "Morph Hork-Bajir."
I sighed, and morphed, still holding my controls, and keeping my changing eyes on the screen. I winced as I almost died! but as I adjusted to Hork-Bajir, I became used to the eyesight and continued.
Then she began to do strange and scary things to me. I even screamed once involuntarily from great fear.
Soon I found her tongue down my throat and she was licking around in my mouth. I had my head turned to the side, so I could focus at least one eye on the screen.
She stopped for a moment and looked at me.
"How did that make you feel?"
(Erm. Annoyed. Distracted. And... a little hot.)
She grinned. "Good." Then she proceeded to continue this strange activity.
It was quite fun really, just a little nauseating. Soon Pac Yeerk was no longer as interesting as before... I just let the little guy keep dying after a while...
"So..." she said softly after a while. "How was that kiss?"
"Bdtheh, ith bahs, buh," my tongue was swollen. "Goob."
She grinned again. "Good? Good."
"Kinda slimy though." I said wrinkling my nose.
Her lower lip quivered.
"Noo! No, that's not what I meant! I didn't mean-"
"Oh no." she sobbed. "It's fine. I'm a f-f-filthy d-d-disgusting whore!" she burst into hysterical sobbing and ran from the room and left to her blade ship.
Feeling blue and lonely again, I demorphed to Andalite.
Total let down.
(Smooth talking Esplin!) I told myself. (Stop talking to yourself!)
Sigh. Not even Pac Yeerk could help me feel better now.
Just after she left the room Chapman came in sobbing and ran to me. His arms wrapped around me and he sobbed into my neck.
(Oooh no you don't!) I said and smacked him away with my tail. (In the name of all that is holy and sacred and oatmeal no...)
He lie on the floor sobbing for a while. He wept himself to sleep.
Feeling decent, I straightened his skirt, for it had hitched up.
Then also feeling a little bored I drew on his face with magic markers. So pretty!
Life is so depressing around here...
But also very amusing!