Authors Note: Sorry! I can't believe it took so long for me to update, if anyone still reads this that is lol. I got another job so life has been pretty hectic, also i don't know how often i will be able to update as my mum is cancelling the internet because my sister was wagging school and going on the comp instead! This makes me sad, so i am updating at work. shhh hehe. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Thanks also to Amy and Kate for being very supportive and kind beta's.

I also have a little ficlet with Morgan when she worked in a book store called "Problem Customer" and two very attractive and now deceased siblings, hint hint. Please check that out idf you have time. :D

warning: this chapter has some themes not suitable for little 11 year olds, not that i think any little 11 year olds read this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost. Not then, not now, not ever.

Chapter Twenty-One

I frown.

For some reason I am practically running down the cold dark hallway of the hatch whilst desperately wanting to turn around and avoid Desmond for as long as possible. The reason for this is partially because I know he is angry at me and also I had just told Sawyer that Desmond and I had participated in fictional hatch sex; not once, but twice.

I can't even think about it without blushing like an idiotic schoolgirl, how on earth am I supposed to talk to Desmond, the very man who participated in aforementioned fictional hatch sex.

I find him sitting on the computer chair, glaring at the computer screen.

"Desmond, I thought it was my turn to do this, but if you wanna-"

He interrupts me, still not taking his eyes from the screen. "It's your turn; I just didn't want to drag you from Sawyer. I'm surprised you actually heard the alarm going off through your lovers haze, He says disdainfully.

"What? Sawyer and I are just friends, and half the time we aren't even

That," I say, leaning over him-as he makes no intention of moving- and typing in the numbers. I reread them three times before pressing the execute button, and am grateful to see the timer go back up to 108:00.

He takes his eyes off the screen and narrows them at me. "Oh yeah, I suppose he was just giving your arse a friendly squeeze before?"

For some reason the idea of Sawyer manhandling me isn't as repulsive as it once might've been. It's just the way he jokes, and I know it's not the best way to go about it but he's not exactly refined. "Besides, we just had a fight", I say lightly, trying and most likely failing at pretending I don't care.

He raises his eyebrows at this knowledge and I think for a moment that he might just be friendly and take my side. "Another lovers tiff? How terribly dreadful for you that must be."

I sigh exhaustedly. "Why is it that Sawyer can't get it around his thick skull that you and I aren't an item, and you can't get it around your thick skull that Sawyer and I aren't an item! I am item-less!" I exclaim, sitting on a chair next to Desmond.

"Well, maybe if you didn't flirt with every man you meet I'd think

Otherwise."

My eyes narrow at his accusation. "Oh sorry, how long have you known me?

That's right, four days," I say, kicking the seat of the computer chair, leaving Desmond spinning like an idiot.

He eventually comes to a halt and looks at me angrily. "So because I haven't known you long I can't have my opinion?"

I get off the chair and grab my backpack from where I had previously thrown it.

"No, you're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to get angry at your opinion." I sling it over my shoulder and walk away, unable to have another argument when all I want to do is have a shower and sleep.

I hear Desmond's patronizing voice behind me. "That's it, just walk away.

That'll fix everything."

"Maybe it will," I say lightly, refusing to get angry; refusing to let him bait me.

"It's still probably dark outside, and you don't know where you're going…where are you going?" His voice is now practical, but I refuse to listen to him.

I look back at Desmond dispassionately from the door, "Somewhere where the company has a smaller portion of bastards." The hatch door grinds shut and I walk towards what I assume is the exit. It occurs to me now that Desmond is right; I have no idea where I'm going.

I refuse to turn back though, knowing how smug Desmond would be about being right, and knowing Sawyer would be smug because…he's Sawyer.

I walk through the dark corridor until I find a smaller door practically identical to the one I previously went through. It takes three goes before the door will budge but eventually gives way and I stumble into the gloomy jungle.

It takes a moment for me to realize that it is raining, and only an instant longer for me to regret this little burst of rebellion.

After a minute of looking around I start to walk because looking around did no good. Each step I take into the murky jungle heightens my feeling of anxiety; but if nothing happened when Sawyer and I were trudging through this horrible place why would anything happen when I'm alone? I mean, it's not as if I'm the idiotic loud-mouthed girl in the horror films that says she isn't scared then moments later gets brutally-and ironically-murdered. Am I?

With that thought running through my mind, I continue on my trek through the jungle with an increasing anxiety, as if there is some unseen predator lurking nearby and I am its prey.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours, there's hotdogs in the fridge for dinner, and feed the cat please."

Panic.

"Mum! Umm…actually, I wanna stay at Sean's tonight. His parents said it was fine, and-"

"You're not staying at Sean's house. If I didn't know better I think you were sneaking off with him to...I don't want you sleeping at his house."

"Please, I swear it's nothing like that. In fact it's gross that you'd even think I'd do that, I've known him since I was eight!"

"I said no, and that's final. If you're scared to be alone then don't worry, David's upstairs in his study."

Despair.

"No, but-"

Slam. She's gone.

Noise from upstairs.

"Oh hello Morgan, is your mum gone?"

Dread.

"Yeah, work called. She'll only be a few hours. I'm-I'm going out."

"I believe your mum said you're not allowed out."

He's coming closer, back away. "No, she said I can't go to Sean's."

"You're not going anywhere." Harsh grip; Whisky breath.

"Let me go!" Kick and scream; bite and scratch.

"You can flail about all you want; you're only delaying the inevitable.

Besides, you know I like some fight in a- aagghh! You little whore!"

Fist connects with face; sobbing on the floor.

"No, please…please! I-I'll do anything, just don't do it, please!"

"You think you're sorry now…"

Revulsion.

Skin bruising under forceful hands and mouth; dirty words whispered in my ear and dirty hands running up my thighs.

And I think dirty, filthy, wrong; while my eyes flash hate, hate, hate.

Then he's on top of me and I feel nothing at all.

Numb.

I think about school, and my art assignment that is due on Tuesday, and why he is so rough when he knows I can't fight back any longer, and about how Sean almost kissed me at the party last Saturday night, and IÂ don't recall feeding the cat yet, and how am IÂ going to explain the bruises to everyone again, and I might go to the movies this weekend, and IÂ think of anything and everything other than what he is doing to me; then he stills and it's over.

Tears blurring vision; sloppy kisses on my neck, must never let him kiss me on the mouth.

Satisfied sighs and a broken spirit.

"Such a good little girl." His smile gleams triumphant and his eyes say ˜mine."

Suddenly a loud resounding bang echoes through the dense jungle and I stop, frozen to the spot in fear. An instant later I am running as fast as I can in what I hope is the direction back to the hatch. I slip on the muddy ground and feel the sting of blood running down my leg, and only then do I hear the whispers. I look frantically around for someone or something but all I can see is trees. They creak and sway almost threateningly as the whispers get louder and louder.

I pick myself up off the ground and start running again, branches slicing my face and arms. A flash of colour catches my eye and I stumble, trying to come to a halt. I collide with something warm and soft and reach out to it for support.

It's a person, I realize with shock. I look up into the glassy and unfocused eyes of a young blonde woman. She trembles in my grasp and it takes a moment for me to comprehend why.

She's been shot. Blood runs out of a gaping wound in her stomach, staining her pink top a deep red and making red streams all the way down her legs. I look at my hands and notice they too are stained red.

I scream in terror and let her go as if she had burnt me; falling backwards and hitting my head on something hard. She staggers through the trees out of my sight, leaving me alone in the jungle floor dirty and trembling and completely stunned.

"Shannon!" someone nearby yells and it's the last thing I remember before it all fades to black.

A/N: ok so that was it! Hope it was worth the wait. I have no idea where the Desmond thing is going now that he is a rregular in the cast. Oh well, review please! And check out 'Problem Customer'. BOONE IS IN IT! I mean...umm...