Chapter 2 – Broken heart, Broken soul
Everywhere I turned, I saw only them. Them kissing. Them hugging. Them holding hands. With every step I took my heart broke a little more.
Hikaru looked so very happy. I was torn inside, of course I was glad that my brother had opened up and was overjoyed with his happiness with Her and his new experiences...
...But why did he not notice how alone I felt.
We had always done everything together and when that suddenly stopped I felt . . .lost. I stood in my bathroom and starred at my reflection. So very much had changed. My lack of appetite had taken its tole on my already stressed and weak body. My cream silk shirt was outlined by the faint lines of my ribs and my wrists had become like fragile, small pieces of paper. My once vibrant crimson hair was now dulled, knotted and rough. I was a walking skeleton who felt only apathy.
Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing mattered, except Hikaru's happiness. Something that now had nothing to do with me.
That cold, dark night he was with her on their fifth date, and I sat in my bathtub curled in a sobbing ball of misery. He had barely spoken to me but five words in the past two weeks. I no longer went to the host club in hopes that Hikaru would come looking for me and we could talk and spend time together.
. . . He never came.
My soul lay broken, shattered to pieces on the cold tile floor. I stood up and dragged myself to the mirror and starred. As I gazed upon my reflection I wondered how anyone could ever say that Hikaru and myself were ever identical.
Hikaru was perfect. His eyes were slightly smaller, and slanted more, giving his barely lighter-shaded eyes an exotic look. Lately due to my recent lack of nutrition, he was taller and filled out more, while I looked like a thin waif that could be blown down by a mere breath of wind. I was always too small, to feminine, while Hikaru was a perfect example of masculinity.
I finally turned away, unable to look at a face that was so like the one I loved, yet so completely different. However the mirror taunted me and as I snuck one last glance, I was once again ensnared with the haunting face that so closely resembled my beloved brother. In a fit of pure, unfiltered passion, absolute rage at the impossible situation I was in, total confusion and despair for the hopeless situation I was in, my fist met the disturbing image in the mirror and for one second the harmonious sound of breaking glass mirrored the clenching sound of my breaking heart. After that one moment all the strength had left my body, I collapsed on the floor and silently screamed while huge trembling cries shook my entire being. I lay there for what seemed like forever but would later learn it was only a few bare moments when I saw it.
It gleamed and shined in the artificial light of the almost dim bathroom. Winking at me, promising me that it could end everything, that it could take away all the pain.
The thought of silence, peace, and finality called to me so strongly. As I cut two ragged lines across my thin paper wrists all I could think was that...
...I hope this will make Hikaru happy.
Well I leave it here..
This is not the end...
I as the authoress will not allow Kaoru to die
anyway...tell me what you think
Preview Chapter
With the sweet taste of death upon my lips, my eyelids grew heavy with the weight of the world, and as I closed my eyes I could faintly hear my mother's screams as I drifted into unconsciousness, and one lone tear trailed down my cheek.
White. Everything was white.