Disclaimer: Same as the last chapter-like thingy.

Alternative Endings

A/N: This is self explanatory. We basically show you a few alternative endings of ASS that hopefully willmake it less offensive to you. Warning: Contains Major OOCness!

Alternative Ending #1

(We pick up from the point when the Japanese anime people take out there guns.)

Amerime people: Gasp! (all of a sudden protestors went in front of the amerime people.)

Protestor # 1: We won't let you kill these innocent people.

Protestor # 2: They have awesome shows that are even greater than some of yours.

Protestor # 3: My god you guys are pathetic and need some SERIOUS help.

Protestor # 4: If you are going to shoot them, you have o shoo us first.

Ash: OK!

Protestors: What?!

(While the protestors were talking, the amerime people tip-toed away silently. The Japanese anime people opened fire on the protestors and the protestors fell dead. Hamtaro noticed something different.)

Hamtaro: What the hell?! Where did the amerime people go to?

(All of a sudden, the amerime people popped out the windows and towers of the buildings around the parking lot with sniper rifles, machine guns, bazookas, and basically any weapon you can think of. Aang didn't choose to use a gun. Instead, he is using air, water, and earth bending.)

Tamaki (the blond guy on OHSHC): They're probably using toy guns to scare us away, and we will kill them for thinking that we are stupid. (A sniper shot him in the head.)

Ichigo: Looks like they are not faking it!

Anime people: Oh (beep)!

(The amerime people opened fire on the anime people. The anime people fought back. Jake Long gave air support by shooting down and "bombing" the enemy. Renton and his friends are in the Gekko-Go shooting down and bombing the amerime people at an apocalyptic level. They see Jake Long.)

Renton: Let's shoot down the skinny bastard.

Jake: That's wittity dittity wack! Yo! (They shot down Jake Long and started doing an evil laugh. Aang used his airbending to destroy the Gekko-Go and it blew up.)

Renton and friends: Nooo! (Renton and everybody else onboard somehow lived, yet the shrapnel from the explosion killed a good amount of people on both sides. Aang sees Naruto about to do a shadow clone jutsu.)

Aang: (to Kappa Mikey) I'll get that bastard!

Kappa Mikey: That's nice. Just do the damn thing already! (Aang used his earthbending to use the ground underneath Naruto to catapult him into the air.)

Naruto: (while flying) DAHHHHH..! Hey I can fly! Oh yea, DAHHHH..! (He started falling toward the porch of Neverland Ranch.) What the hell?!

(Michael Jackson came out of the door the sit down and contemplates about random stuff.)

MJ: Oh I'm so sad. I didn't lured or molested a naughty boy in a week. (Naruto started to fall toward him.) Oh joy!

Naruto: Oh crap! (He landed in front of him.)

MJ: Time to rape the naughty little boy. (He started walking toward Naruto in a slow, creepy way.)

Naruto: DAHHH! Oh wait! I can use a shadow clone jutsu. (He tries it, but doesn't work.) Crap, I'm almost out of chakra and extremely exhausted. (MJ jumps on him.) DAHHH!

(Alternative ending obviously ended.)

Narrator: Eventually it all ended in a stalemate and they made a treaty. The police were busy huge hostage situation that day, so that explains part f it. Hopefully, it didn't offended amerime fans and anime fans as well.

Alternative ending #2

(We pick up from when Naruto says that they have presents for the amerime people.)

Naruto: (to amerime people) We got a present for you guys and we know you will really like it. (started doing a freaky, sinister laugh) MUHAHAHA!

(Instead of taking out guns, they took out gift wrapped presents.)

Amerime people: Aw cool! (They received their presents.)

Aang: I wonder what it is. (shook the box) Sounds like metal, electronics, and explosives. (They all opened their boxes.) What, a can of nuts? (They opened their cans and snake spring things popped out.)

Aang: (in a kind, weird, old teacher way) Oh you silly geese. (They all started laughing in a weird, joyful way.)

(Alternative ending ended.)

Narrator: That was really stupid. They could put bombs or anthrax in those cans.

Alternative ending #3

(We pick up after the traffic jam.)

Everybody: Finally!

(Mike Rowe reads a sign pointing to a back road and it says that it is the shortcut to the amerime studio.)

Mike: Aw cool, a shortcut. (He does a sharp turn into the dirt road.) Woah! This is very bumpy…and dirty.

Naruto: Shut up with the "dirty" jokes and puns. (They drove deep into the woods.)

Mike: My god this place is dark. (They drove along the path and guessing on which may to if they get into a fork on the road. They eventually get lost.) Oh crap we're lost!

InuYasha: No (beep)en (beep)! Asshole! (All of a sudden, a moth-like creature flies over them.)

Hamtaro: What the hell was that?!

Ichigo: (after pondering) I think it's the mothman.

Tamaki: I taught the mothman lives out in West Virginia and we are in the suburbs surrounding the LA suburbs.

Mike: I don't know why, but we need to capture or kill the mofo and that will be very dirty.

Naruto: What did I said earlier?!

Mike: Hey, it's in my contract. (They all went out of the van to search for the mothman. Apparently, he is above them.) We are going to capture you mothman and make money off of it.

Mothman: Foolish humans.

Hamtaro: Em hem!

Mothman: …and hamsters.

Hamtaro: Thank you!

Mothman: I was sent to kill you guys by Jake Long and his friends.

Hamtaro: How much will they pay you?

Mothman: Over 100 grand.

Hamtaro: Oh my!

Mothman: Anywho, time to kill you guys! (He flies toward them.)

Mike: Well, we got guns. (They took out guns and try to shoot him.) Oh crap, forgot to buy ammo. (Mothman slashed each of them and left some alive and go.)

Mothman: Time to get my 100 grand.

(Alternative ending ended.)

Alternative Ending #4

(We pick p when the anime people took out their guns.)

Amerime people: Mr. Pay! (a teacher of ours, changed his name a bit) Help!

Mr. Pay: (while teaching) In conclusion, Dante's Inferno is extremely pimpin'. (senses something) My sarcasm senses are tingling. I'm on my way! Don't do anything! (He went out the door.)

Student: Aw cool, we can talk loudly, put our feet on furniture, and talk about how Dante's Inferno is overated.

Mr. Pay: (returned) Shut up! (He throws chalk at him and slaps him in the head.)

(Mr. Pay took his chalk-shaped rocket to where the amerime people are. He arrived there.)

Aang: (his rocket arrived) That was fast. I taught it will take him at least 2 hours at tht speed. (Mr. Pay walks up to them.)

Mr. Pay: What do you guys want!

Kappa Mikey: These fools are about to kill us.

Omi: They said we are impure.

Mr. Pay: Looks like this is another job for me. (He took out chalk from his back pocket.) It's clobbering time! (He threw chalk at the anime people and slapped each of them in the head.)

Hamtaro: (to Naruto) What should we do?

Naruto: I know what to do. (He did a summoning jutsu trying to summon Gamabunta (big frog guy). Summoning Jutsu! (Instead of Gamabunta coming out, he summoned Michael Jackson.) Michael Jackson! Meh, close enough. Attack Mr. Pay!

MJ: I will, if you do me one favor.

Naruto: What!

MJ: Take off your cloths for me.

Naruto: What! (lying) I will show you afterwards.

MJ: OK! Then, who do I fight?

Naruto: That catholic school religion teacher over there.

MJ: Ok! It's clobbering time. (singed) Ohhhhh!

(He charges towards Mr. Pay. Mr. Pay was startled and threw chalk at him with extreme rage.)

Mr. Pay: Tale that you child molesting bastard!

MJ: (angry) What did you say?! I don't molest them. It is true love.

Mr. Pay: Yea, like getting molested is love.

MJ: (in a gay way) Ah! Shut up!

(They fought each other for awhile. Mr. Pay using his chalk and bare hands. MJ using his bare hands and "Jesus Juice"-red wine in a coke can.)

Mr. Pay: Ok! Let's end this! (He threw a piece of chalk at MJ with lethal velocity. It hits his leg.)

MJ: Ouchies! (insulting) You're just mad because Dante's Inferno sucks.

Mr. Pay: (with extreme rage) What did you just say?! You made me angry and I don't like it when I am angry.

(He got so mad that he turned green and gets huge muscles. He turned into the Incredible Hulk.)

MJ: Oh! If only you're a naughty little boy.

(Mr. Pay beat the crap out of MJ. Tragedy struck MJ laid there dead.)

Naruto: Oh crap! That's the only help we had. We are going die now!

(Mr. Pay returns to normal exhausted. The amerime people didn't want to kill the anime people.)

Aang: What's the point of killing you guys?

Kappa Mikey: We will be just as bad as you guys.

Naruto: Now you think of it. What's the point of killing you guys for being different?

Ichigo: Let's not kill eachother.

(They hold hands and formed the Japanese character for peace. They then started singing a hippie song about peace.)

(Alternative ending obviously ended)

Narrator: I know. That was a load of crap.

(Endings ended)