Author's note: Well, the drugs are still kicking, so here's part two. Yes, it's still short. Yes, I still don't own anything. And yes, I am violating the Starwind and Alucard treaty of 2003 by writing this story. In this episode, what does KFC have to do with Christmas? Actually, quite a bit!

Part 2: of Christmas cakes and KFC

Asuka and Shinji relaxed in the living room. Today had been a terribly embarrassing day for both of them, and all the way out of the base NERV employees reminded them about it. At least Misato had promised a nice Christmas Eve meal, which of course meant takeout, so Shinji wouldn't have to cook. The television was showing one of Shinji's favorites: "It's a Substandard Life," so he and Asuka were just vegging on the couch.

"So, third child, it looks like you can fall flat on your face just like the rest of us." Asuka said, trying to insinuate a fight.

"What do you mean by that?" Shinji said, knowing exactly what Asuka was trying to do.

"Oh like you don't know," replied a smirking Asuka. "Look at me, I'm Shinji, and I'm drowning!" she said in a terrible imitation of Shinji.

"Asuka, I could have DIED!" exclaimed Shinji.

"I bet you were just faking it because you wanted me to give you mouth-to-mouth." Asuka said, puckering her lips as she laughed.

"That's not it! I was honestly going to die from lack of oxygen, had commander Fyutski not helped me, I wouldn't be here right now!" Shinji said, getting quite frustrated.

"Oh, so you like older men, huh?" Asuka enquired with a devilish grin.

"What? That's not it at all, I, I, I, I'm going to go for a walk." Shinji stammered as he went to the door.

Asuka laughed loudly as Shinji closed the door. True, that had been very cruel, but it would give her time to accomplish her plan. She quickly got the hammer and nails from her room and nailed up the mistletoe she had bought earlier that day. She thought of how fun it would be when Shinji would open the door and she would be waiting for him, ready to give him the kiss of a lifetime. Ahhh…that boy would stay stuck in his room with a bloody nose for the rest of the holidays. Still, when he finally came out, she would be ready to tell him how she felt. Asuka sighed; this would be a Christmas to remember.

At that moment, a knock came from the door. Asuka smiled, Shinji was already back, probably to get his coat which she had hidden. Asuka rushed to the door, unlocked the door, and smashed her face right into Misato's breasts.

"Well Asuka, I never knew you rolled that way," giggled Misato. It was then she noticed the mistletoe. "Oh my, you were trying to get dirty with Shinji weren't you?"

"Uh, no, it wasn't anything like that!" Asuka stammered.

"Oh, so you really do like me, huh?" Misato teased, "Oh Asuka, you're such a dirty girl!"

"WHAT? Misato! Why are Japanese people so perverted? Besides, you're my guardian!" Asuka exclaimed.

"We're only perverted when we get little German girls like you come over here. By the way, if I wasn't your guardian would you give it a try?"

"Try what?" Asuka asked. Misato gave her a sexy wink. "Oh my god, NO! You're so immature for your age!"

"So if I was more mature you would?"

"NO!"

"Younger?"

"No Misato! You perverted drunk! I don't like women that way!"

"So if I was a male…"

"Now you're just being ridiculous." Asuka said, "I'm gonna go to my room."

"To do what?" Misato teased as she watched steam blow out of Asuka's ears. "Besides, I brought dinner."

Asuka looked at the bags in the purple-haired woman's hands and frowned. "A bucket of chicken? What kind of a meal is that? And why do you have a cake?"

"I'll have you know, you little red headed tease that this is Colonel Sander's Kentucky Fried Chicken! And this cake is a Christmas cake. Both are long standing traditional Christmas fare that is eaten by Americans and Japanese." Misato said informatively.

"They actually eat fast food fried chicken and store bought cakes for Christmas in America? I mean, they're weird there, but I don't think they do anything THAT weird in America." Asuka said.

"For someone who graduated from college, you're pretty ignorant." Misato said, patting Asuka on the head.

And for someone who graduated a long time ago, you're pretty immature. We Americans do not TYPICALLY eat KFC every Christmas, though we do eat Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes.

"Who said that?" Misato asked, looking around.

I did.

"Come out of hiding!"

Will you give me a drumstick?

Misato clutched the bucket defensively and said, "No! Only Pen-Pen and I get to eat the drumsticks!"

You feed your penguin chicken? That's…very disturbing.

"Not as disturbing as a talking disembodied voice."

Touché but…at least I'm not a day-old Christmas cake.

"YOU BASTARD! COME ON! BRING IT!" An enraged Misato yelled.

Completely confused at the conversation, Asuka set the table and prayed Shinji would come knock on the door.

Meanwhile….In Gendo's office

Gendo pulled the arsenic laced cookies out of his desk and set them next to a glass of milk. This year was going to be VERY different.

Author's note: In Japan, a popular Christmas eve, Christmas dinner, is to get some KFC. Seriously, if you don't believe me, go to Japan and try and get some Kentucky fried on Christmas Eve without reservations, I dare you. Also, I gave Misato an old school diss by calling her a day old Christmas cake. You see, the day after Christmas, all Christmas cakes are slashed down dramatically in price (By the way, all I know about Christmas cakes is that they have frosting, I have never personally partaken of one). So, it used to be a diss to call a woman who was getting up in her late twenties-early thirties and wasn't married because it meant they were past their prime, and needed to lower their "price." Next up: Part 3: of part time employment and retarded angels.