Author's note: Hooray! The end is in sight! But will I finish before the end of the day? In any case, please review; this is the longest story I have written (pretty sad actually) so I need to know how you like it. I am very grateful though for the reviews I have gotten and everyone who has read this. Well, on with the story!

PART 6: of Payback and Kissing

"You know Shinji, you can't let people walk over you your whole life. I mean, don't you have any self-respect?" Aoba asked as he pulled up to the curb in front of Shinji's apartment complex.

"But I don't want people to dislike me for being mean." Shinji said.

"Shinji, be honest with yourself, do you really think people like you for being a spineless wimp?"

Shinji started to cry.

"Sorry bout that," Said Aoba, "what I meant to say is that people will like and treat you better, if you just stand up for yourself."

"But I don't know how."

Aoba sighed, "Look, go up to your apartment, knock on the door, and as soon as it opens I want you to yell: "Misato, Asuka, you've treated me like crap, and it's going to stop right now!"

"Okay." Shinji said, "I'll do it!"

"Great!" Said Aoba as Shinji got out, "and Shinji?"

"Yes?" Asked a smiling and confident Shinji.

"If you tell anyone that I robbed that bank or shot Hello Kitty, I'll cut your balls off, throw them in a blender, and make a smoothie out of them. Merry Christmas!"

Shinji's skin turned pale and his eyes widened as Aoba drove off humming "jingle bells."

Meanwhile, at the Katsuragi residence…

"Shouldn't we give Asuka something to eat?" Hikari asked, looking at her tied up friend who was struggling against the ropes that bound her.

"Oh don't be silly Hikari," said Misato as she drank her 40th beer of the day, "she's perfectly fine. Besides, Rei and Toji aren't worrying, so why should you?" She said, indicating the non-moving mouth-open-in-surprise Rei, and Toji, who was still twitching like a madman and mumbling incoherent words.

"Well I guess your right." Hikari replied.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

With a Herculean effort, Asuka ripped her bindings off, pulled her gag off, stood up and said, "Hikari! I can't believe you believed this snake's lies! I'm not a nymphomaniac! And Misato, when I get done making out with Shinji, We're going to the police and have us taken away from you!" Asuka then ran to the door, flung it open, and leapt into the arms of…well, actually, there was no one there, so she fell and her face smashed into the pavement.

"Wow that was the best ding-dong-ditch ever!" cried Kensuke, "I got you good didn't I? Uh, Asuka?"

Asuka turned her face towards Kensuke. She had broken her nose, so blood freely poured from it. Her eyes were red and blood shot from all the crying she had done. Her face was also scratched up from hitting the pavement so small cuts populated her face. And, just to complete the picture, bits of puke still hung to her face. She then closed her eyes and passed out.

"OH MY GOD! I KILLED ASUKA!" Kensuke screamed. He then jumped over the railing and fell for quite a while, luckily, a truck full of fresh manure ("oh, a new fan fiction by you?" Shut up, Kaworu.) broke his fall.

Meanwhile, in Gendo's office…

Gendo smiled as the figure in red got up and out of the fireplace. Finally, Santa had come. True, he had never heard of Santa being an albino with black hair, a blue glass eye, and no beard, but it had to be him; who else could have survived a fall down that chimney?

Dingus got up, and looked around, "Where am I?" the clone thought.

"IT'S SANTA! IT'S SANTA!" Screamed the pink-haired Rei clone as she ran over and gave him a hug.

"SANTA?" Exclaimed Dingus as he hugged the big-eared girl back, "Where is he?"

"Silly! You're Santa! Are you trying to play a trick? Cause I like tricks! Not the mean, prank types, though those can be fun, but like jokes and magic tricks! Oh! Can you do magic? Like pull a rabbit out of your hat? Hey where is your hat? You must be really cold. I know, you need some cocoa! Oh, but we don't have any cocoa…

Dingus didn't reply right away. The knowledge that he was Santa Claus was quite a lot to wrap his small mind around. Still, if he was Santa, then shouldn't he have a hat, reindeer, a sleigh, and a bag full of toys? But this girl did have two red eyes like Kaworu, and Kaworu was smart, therefore, according to his version of logic, the girl was smart and knew what she was taking about. Therefore, he was Santa and he should start acting like it. Though, he had one very important question before he started doing his job.

"Are you an elf?" Dingus asked.

The pink-haired clone smiled and said, "Well, I do have big ears and funny colored hair, so I guess I am! OH! Does that mean I get to go to your workshop and make toys, and wash the reindeer, and drink cocoa? Oh, but do I still get a present? Wait, where's your bag? Oh no! Was I bad? I tried to be good but I was just born an hour ago, and I put on these pajamas even though I wanted to just go without." She started to cry.

Dingus started to cry too, he was Santa Claus, but he didn't know how to make the presents appear! He wished he could just snap his fingers and make a present, course he couldn't even snap his fingers, but it was worth a try, right? So, Dingus put his thumb against his fingers and quickly moved it. Like magic, his fingers snapped, and a teddy bear that was three feet tall fell on the pink haired girl.

"Oh, it's just what I wanted! Thank you!" The girl said and then gave him a hug.

Gendo watched with amazement as Dingus moved over to the other clones and snapped his fingers over them. However, instead of presents falling, the clones were covered in colorful outfits and jumped up and started to dance and sing! Had he just given them souls? If he did, who knew what else he could do? Gendo then decided to get rid of his feelings of hatred for Santa and use this as an opportunity to get Yui back.

"Excuse me, Santa, can I have a present?" Gendo slyly asked.

Dingus snapped his fingers and immediately a bag of coal smacked Gendo on the forehead.

"OH! Looks like Poppa Gendo was naughty! Hey Poppa Gendo, we're going to go with Santa and be elves at his workshop!"

"How will we get out of here?" Dingus asked, "I can climb chimneys just fine, but what about you?"

The pink haired clone giggled and spread an AT Field that held Dingus and the clones, and floated up with them. They broke through all the levels of NERV headquarters, and then the geo-front, and finally the surface.

Dingus was amazed, this girl could fly just like his brother! And she was really cute! Dingus asked the pink haired girl "What's your name?"

"OH! Well, I don't know actually, I mean, I was just born an hour ago, and the doctor with the fake blond hair didn't tell me. Hmmmm….OH! I KNOW! You can call me Lilly!" said the smiling pink-haired, big-eared clone. "Now let's go get your reindeer!"

Back at Gendo's office:

Gendo knocked the bag of coal off of him. He probably should have seen that coming, but it was worth a shot.

"Well," he thought as he spied some cookies, "at least I tried." He then chowed down on the cookies and washed them down with a glass of milk. "WAIT A MINUTE! THOSE COOKIES WERE…" and the poison took effect.

Meanwhile, at the Katsuragi apartment…

Asuka was completely depressed. Shinji hadn't come home, Hikari and Toji, who had just came to, still believed Misato was telling the truth about Asuka being a nymphomaniac (even though they had seen Misato drink two whole cases), Rei was still not speaking, even though she had gotten over the shock some time ago, and Misato was still trying to find further ways to embarrass her. Asuka sat down in her room and cried; this was not the Christmas she had imagined. She looked at the present she had gotten Shinji and wondered if he would ever come home.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Shinji?" Asuka said weakly as she hobbled to her room's door and pulled it open, she started towards the apartment's entrance. She hoped she didn't look too bad, she had wanted this to be perfect, but she was going to kiss Shinji, even if she died trying. She then looked ahead and saw Rei heading for the door. Well, maybe it was for the best. There had been so many false alarms today, it would be best if Rei answered; at least she wouldn't make such a scene, even if it was Shinji. Rei opened the door.

"Misato, Asuka I…Rei? What are…" Shinji said as Rei smashed her mouth against his. She then jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. Within mere moments, Shinji's mouth said hello to the blue-haired albino's probing tongue. Although he couldn't believe that Rei was doing this, Shinji just succumbed to the pleasure and fell backwards onto the pavement. After about two minutes of being under Rei and making out, Rei got up and looked back at Asuka with a smirk. She then tossed Shinji his wallet, saying, "you forgot this at headquarters." And then walked off.

"Damn Rei! That's how you do it!" Misato yelled out after her.

Asuka collapsed and started weeping.

Meanwhile, in Kaworu and Dingus's pad…

So, Kaworu, what do you think of this story?

"This is the most predictable piece of garbage I have ever heard. It was obvious that Rei was going to kiss Shinji, it was obvious that Dingus and Lilly were going to come in and take the clones, and it was obvious that Gendo was going to eat the poisoned cookies. I bet that next…

KLONK. A piece of the ceiling smacked the seventeenth angel on the head.

"Hey Kaworu! Guess what? I'm Santa Claus! Do you know where I can find some reindeer?" Dingus said as he floated down with Lilly and the other clones.

Kaworu put his hand on the back of his head and rubbed his head. He had obviously not seen that coming.

"Oh shut up fatty," he muttered. To his brother/clone, he said, "Dingus! Who are all they?"

"They're my elves! And this is Lilly," he said, indicating the pink-haired beauty who was holding a teddy bear."

The whole lot of them landed a few feet away, and all the clones, with the exception of Lilly who decided to stand by Dingus, ran over to Kaworu and started to hug him.

"Wow," said Kaworu, "This feeeeels gooooood!"

"OH! Your brother is so cute! He looks like angel! OH! I KNOW! Let's give him wings and a halo, that would be so cool! OH! Wait, don't forget to give him his presents!" Lilly said while tugging on Dingus's arms.

Dingus snapped his fingers and Kaworu hit the deck, expecting something to fall down and smash him. Instead, a giant plasma screen and a 1787 Stradivarius (don't ask, it just was) appeared next to him on the ground. Kaworu looked at his gifts and cried tears of joy. He had never expected such great gifts, especially from his brother/clone who he loved to death but usually teased or ridiculed. He walked over to his brother and hugged him. Although Dingus had no idea as to why Kaworu was crying, he patted him on the back and smiled.

"OH! You won't believe it! I found some reindeer! And they're really big, and white, and OH! We should get them antlers! They're right over there!" Lilly said, pointing her finger towards something.

All eyes in the room followed the finger to see the giant, red lipped, white bodied, smiling, Mass Produced Evas.

Author's note: Hooray! Just one more chapter to go! Will Asuka kiss Shinji? Or has our hero gotten ultra-white fever? Will Dingus accidentally trigger third impact? Is Gendo dead? What did Shinji get Asuka and vice a versa? Will Misato be punished for her treatment of Asuka and Shinji? PLEASE REVIEW! The 1000 hits is really encouraging, but a few reviews would be really awesome!

Next up: Part 7: of Conclusions and Justice