Chapter 2: Drop A Line

Robbie slept through the rest of the day and into the night. He tossed and turned in his chair at about four in the morning, unable to rest any longer. His legs and arms were sore from the brief spot of activity the day before, and he just couldn't sleep anymore. It was an atrocity.

He bemoaned his traitorous body, even as he climbed stiffly out of the chair, and kept going, even as he hoisted himself up out of the entrance to his home.

Nothing in this little town opened until later, but maybe he could catch a nap on a bench somewhere while the little brats were still asleep. He smiled a little to himself at the thought of it, and strutted off.

Sportacus woke up with the sun, stretching happily with hands over his head. After a quick breakfast, he went through his usual routine. He would have thought about Robbie and his sudden switch over, but all the activity left little room for thought.

It was a bright beautiful day! Not a cloud in the sky, the sun peeking over the horizon… Sportacus descended from his air ship home and went through his morning exercises on the ground, half hoping that Stephanie or some of the other kids would be awake and come out and join him.

He loved exercise and activity… but he liked playing with other people more. Being active was fun, but nowhere near as fun as being active with friends! Speaking of…

Sportacus spotted Robbie just as Robbie spotted him. Robbie startled backwards, nearly falling over a trashcan, and Sportacus zipped over, catching him in time.

"You're up early!" the sports elf chirped as he set Robbie on his feet.

"Not by choice," Robbie muttered sullenly, straightening out his clothes. He stopped. "Urk. I mean…"

"No one else is up either," Sportacus was bouncing lightly on his feet, genuinely pleased that at least someone was out and about. "And you usually sleep in late." Robbie frowned slightly.

"All that… activity yesterday made me fall asleep. Then I wake up at this ungodly hour and can't sleep anymore. It's horrible."

Sportacus laughed, and Robbie watched him carefully. The blue elf was freakishly healthy. No one got up at sunrise and liked it. But here he was, smiling happily like it was the middle of the day. Was he some kind of superhuman… thing? Robbie shook his head to clear it. He didn't need to get caught up in wondering how or why. He just needed to focus on getting the weirdo to love him. He thought quickly.

"So…" he started. "Come here often?" Sportacus stared for a moment.

"To the apple tree?"

Robbie looked up and saw, indeed, they were standing by the apple tree. Where Sportacus always came by. Robbie cursed internally. He was too out of practice to be doing this.

"Er… I meant… say, I'm curious about something."

Sportacus smiled encouragingly and stretched.

"Go ahead and ask," he said.

"Well… you ever been kissed?"

Sportacus stopped. Which for Sportacus, was a big deal. Stopping, that is. He stared at Robbie for a few moments, his face blank, before he broke out in a smile again. It was beginning to grate on Robbie's nerves.

"That's a funny question," he commented, resuming his stretches and calisthenics.

"Are you going to answer it?"

Sportacus paused briefly but kept going.

"Hmm," he breathed, waving his arms in circles to get them warmed up. "No. I've never had a kiss. Unless you mean by my parents?"

Robbie gawked for a second. He seriously never?… even Robbie had kissed people before, though, granted, it was awkward end-of-date high school kissing. But still!

"N-no, parents and siblings and stuff don't count," he replied shakily. Damn. That response threw off his planned answer. Think of another. His mind went back to the book. Maybe…

"Are your legs tired?" he blurted out. Sportacus quirked an eyebrow at him, one hand halfway raised to pull himself onto a branch to do pull ups.

"No," he answered slowly. "Why?" He grabbed the branch with both hands and started pulling himself up.

"Because you've been running through my head all night."

Robbie grinned smugly. He remembered reading that. He wasn't sure where, but it had popped into his head. Ha. So there. Score one for him.

Sportacus hung there limply and stared at Robbie. Minutes passed, and the elated feeling Robbie had quickly faded into irritation. He fidgeted and glanced suspiciously at the sports elf.

"What?" he snapped. Sportacus dropped down from the tree limb and walked over. Robbie backed up into a wall, nervous. What was he up to? He flinched slightly and closed his eyes as Sportacus stood close and raised his hand up. A moment later, he opened his eyes again at the light touch on his forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?" Sportacus asked in a concerned voice. Robbie shuddered. The elf's hand felt warm. Weird.

"I-I'm fine," he answered. The sports freak needed to get out of his personal bubble, or else. Sportacus frowned in worry and pressed his palm against Robbie's forehead, then the back of his hand against the side of his face.

"You don't feel warm," he mused. Robbie fought the slight shiver that went through him. He was not used to being touched, especially not in such a gentle manner.

"I said I'm fine," he said, pushing the elf's hand away. Sportacus regarded him solemnly for a moment before sighing.

"Alright," he conceded. "I have to finish my workout. Maybe we can play later?"

"Y-yeah," Robbie muttered, not really considering it fully. "Later."

Sportacus rushed off to finish his run around Lazy Town and Robbie sulked off to his lair.

That book had to have something. This was taking too long.

He flipped through it again and again, not seeing anything useful. He seethed.

"Stupidest thing ever," he growled to himself. "Embarrassing. Not that I haven't embarrassed myself every other time I go to the surface," he rolled his eyes. "Nothing new. But still. That was… IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" He yelled at the book and threw it across the room, huffing and slouching in his chair with his arms crossed across his chest, in a sulk.

"There's got to be something to do," he muttered. "Trying to seduce someone is hard work. I hate hard work! Why can't he just fall for my stunning good looks and we can be done with this?" He flopped across his chair dramatically, bemoaning his existence and all the work he was needlessly doing.

That stupid blue elf was doing his job of keeping people active by just existing. It was disgusting.

He finally got fed up and stomped over to the book, snatching it up off the floor and opening it to a random page. He glanced down at it, contemplative. His face was slowly overcome with a grin, and he snapped the book shut.

"Perfect."

AN:

Poor Robbie tries to use pick up lines. XD Sportacus doesn't understand and has come to the conclusion that Robbie must not be feeling alright. He keeps saying weird things after all. And Robbie blames the book for feeding him such cheesy lines that obviously don't work.

I like the word "bemoaned".

Was this a fast enough update for you guys:3 I got 5 reviews in less than 24 hours. That's a new damn record. I feel spoiled.