Kingdom Hearts: ZOMG!
Summary: Neki and Reni are taking a vacation. To Wonderland. God help us all. (Sora/Riku POV) :After BtD:
cHaPtEr 2: There's Crazy, Then There's Insane
Neki© Kitty Fetish and Light of Heaven
Reni© Black Rainy
Sora and Riku© Square Enix
Ri-kun's POV
Chapter 2:
"Why are we sneaking into Ansem's room again?" I asked sullenly to the blonde haired girl in front of me. She turned around with a scowl on her face and made a 'shushing' motion with her free hand. Her other hand was gripped tightly on the door handle leading to the room of the one and only creepy guy wearing all black who yells about darkness every ten minutes.
Which reminds me…
"DARKNESS IS FOREVER!!!"
That's more like it…
"We're sneaking into his room for a boxer raid!" she hisses at me and proceeds to open the door, wincing when it squeaks, and creep inside. I shut the door behind me with a shake of my head.
"Is a boxer raid really necessary?"
She turned to look at me again with a grin and a twinkle in her rust colored orbs, "But of course! Who do you think authorized that panty raid last week? Ansem! They took my favorite pair, and now Oogie uses it for a napkin!" Her face scrunched up cutely in disgust at the mention of the bug filled villain, "Come on!"
I followed her slowly to the dresser next to the bed. She opened one of the door, then the one below it and finally the bottom one before turning to face me with a grave frown. Without speaking, she grabbed my wrist and started dragging me out of his room, despite my inquiries as to what was going on.
Once we were safe and sound back in the room that the two of us shared—not like that of course. There were two beds—she about faced and screamed loudly, as if she had just walked in on Maleficent bathing. Which is not a pretty sight, believe me…
"What?!?" I screamed and grabbed her shoulders to keep her from screaming into the pillow she was holding, "What did you find?"
"No boxers. No briefs. No whitey tighties. Nothing! HE DOESN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR!" Her eye started twitching and I removed my grip on her so she could jump onto her bed and scream.
"My god…That's unsanitary!"
"I'M NEVER TOUCHING THAT SCRYING CAULDRON AGAIN!" Neki wailed miserably, her face still immersed in the pile of pillows, "THAT IS JUST SICK AND WRONG!!!" Her voice cracked and she let out a sob, "Sick and wroooooong…"
"I have to agree…"
Suddenly she shot up and sat on the balls of her feet with an evil grin.
"Oh no…"
"Oh yes…"
"Neki please don't!" I pleaded, but it was too late.
"EVIL VILLAIN GROUP MEETING!" she screeched and rushed out the door to inform the other villains, leaving me to follow in the wake of her destruction.
When I reached the room with the scrying cauldron, the other villains were already there, and Neki had a bottle of cleaning supplies, and to my dismay, was scrubbing at said cauldron with a sponge and window cleaner.
"Neki that's window cleaner."
"I know, but it's all I could find." She stood and looked around the room, before huffing angrily, "Where is he?!"
"Are you talking about me? DARKNESS IS ETERNAL!" Neki winced and whipped around to glare at the man in the black coat who had just spoken.
"Yes! You are sick and disgusting and, and, and DISGUSTING! Do you know that we could all get sick because of you?" Maleficent started to speak up, but Neki cut her off, "No, hear me out. This man you see before me, has the most despicable, horrid, inexcusable bad habit of all time! I'm outraged! It's immoral, erroneous, and every other synonym for the words sick and wrong! HE DOESN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR!"
As if they had just heard that there was a plague that was only in this room, everyone took a step away from the cauldron and each other, well all except for Maleficent, who was frozen in place from shock.
"Yes! He doesn't wear under garments! He could be scratching himself and wiping it on the walls! He could be peeing while he walks! He could be," Neki stopped and blanched from the mental image, "Needless to say, you—Ansem—need to shape up, get some morals, and go underwear shopping! Now," she bowed to the other villains before turning to face me, "I think I need a vacation."
She grabbed a hold of my elbow on her way out and opened a portal to tuna knows where, dragging me towards it.
"Where are we going?!?"
"Wonderland."
I could tell I paled considerably as I fought against her hold on me, "I'D RATHER STAY WITH THE DARKNESS OBSESSED OLD GUY WHO DOESN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR!"
"TOO BAD!"
And that was that.
"DARKNESS LIVES ON!"
End
A/N: The second, and final installment of the Vacation series. You don't get to see what happens until the sequel to Before the Door. So I hope you enjoyed this little bit of insight of the sequel, and I hope to see you there!
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