Red Lobster is my favourite seafood restuarant. Ever.

This chapter took a little longer to write, cuz I had to go somewhere and forgot to bring my laptop. But its finally done and I'll try to make chapter 3 asap.

I do not own any of the anime/manga/other mentioned herein. I only owm my self-created characters (Azuki).

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As the crowd of animes filed into Red Lobster it was made apparent that there were NOT enough seats for everyone. So, Azuki, being the resourceful girl that she was, decided to rent out the entire restuarant for her 'Party of 3 or More'. Waiters and chefs were baffled as she handed the owner a WHOAHOLYSHITTHATSALOTTAMONEY check for renting the place out.

"Why is it called 'Red Lobster', un? Why not 'Blue Lobster', or 'Disco-Coloured Lobster'?" asked a very annoying man who looked like a girl or something.

"I.Don't.Know.", a very annoyed Sasori ground his teeth as the blonde rattled on and on...

"Okay everyone, find a seat and plant your butts in it so we can order!", ordered a very hungry Azuki as she clung onto Itachi's arm as if to say 'I am not gonna lose you in this sea of people. They'll step on me'. He was wearing his Akatsuki cloak now, cuz everyone knows that it is friggin FREEZING in Red Lobster.

"Yes, preferably before Gluttony eats the table, if you don't mind." Envy said; Gluttony was chewing on the palm tree's arm.

"Why is Gluttony here again?"

"Cuz."

"Okay." Azuki sat down in a chair and watched everyone scramble to get good seats. As Zetsu tried to sit down on the seat next to her she shooed him away. "Nope, sorry Zetsu-san, but this seat is saved for Itachi-san." The flytrap looked sad and walked away to a seat next to who else but everyone's favourite Tobi!

"Thank you, Azuki...", Itachi said as he sat down next to her. She blushed slightly at his presence. "Geez...how'd I end up with such a hottie, huh?" she thought. She looked over at Itachi as he picked up a menu. "Something wrong?" he asked. "You seem like you're in a trance or something." Azuki quickly snapped her head away and stuttered, "Oh...sorry..I..I was-" Itachi cut her words off by quickly pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss. Many 'Oooh's were heard from the surrounding people at the table. Azuki picked up a salt shaker and threw it at the nearest person that was saying 'Ooh', which happened to be OMG!Sephiroth. As soon as he passed out, a crown of Final Fantasy fangirls came and dragged him away to what was sure to be DOOM! Then she continued to kiss Itachi until she was forced to shoot Vash cuz he wouldn't stop saying 'oooh'. "FRIGGIN TERMITE!" at these words a young blonde man jumped on the table and cursed at everyone while screaming "WHO DID YOU SAY IS SO SMALL THAT HE COULDN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS!"


"Uh, tell me...why am I at a fish restuarant, again?" Kisame said as he looked over the menu. "Brolied fish...fried fish...lobster...SHARK! OMG MOM!" He leapt out of his seat and dived into the lobster tank. "IM COMIN, MOMMY!"

"That guy is weird."

Everyone nodded in agreement.


Then the waiter came with his usual, "Are you ready to order?" speech, at which everyone started talking at once. After he finally got their orders down, everyone threw their menus at him cuz he looked like...poo? Sora just kept talking and saying 'I like fish. I like fish. I like fish.' over and over and over until Kingdom Hearts cosplayers came and tried to abduct him. But they did not succeed cuz at the last minute Sora hid himself in Edward's suitcase. Then for some reason Seras shot Sloth out of the Harkonnen and thats when a lot of madness started happening.

"Fwa dtjper ojhh rtkjaol", said Roy Mustang through a mouthful of biscuits.

"That was completely incomprehensible...", replied a young woman who was, as usual, reading a book. her reading was interrupted as a rather rude man piped up, "Hey, sweetie, you always reading a book? How'd you like to see some REAL action-" his words were cut off as a short boy with brown hair hit him on the head with a rather tall red staff-thingy. "Geez Gojyo, quite the ladies man tonight, aren't we?" said a rather annoyed man with short blonde hair and a cigarette in his mouth.

"Um..excuse me sirs, but this restuarant is non-smoking so.." a nearby waiter said timidly for fear of...a lot of stuff. Gojyo, Havoc, Asuma, and other smoking peoples gave a halfhearted "Awww..." as they put out their cancer sticks in a glass of water. To everyone's surprise, the glass of water spoke, saying, "Hey, leave me alone! I'm chillin!". Yes, the water homonculus was in a glass at Red Lobster. Its a wonder someone didn't drink her by accident...which is exactly what Jubei proceeded to do, ending with a big, "Ahhh...refreshing."


Meanwhile, a rather foul-mouthed squirrel was helping Tayuya throw biscottis at the waiters while muttering obscenities and giving them rude hand guestures.


"One...two...67...119..." Azuki counted as she balanced fruit loops on her nose. Itachi merely watched in amazement while thinking, "Wow...I think she's got like 130 on there now..." Yes, Itachi was feeling a little out-of-character right now. And then a giant widescreen TV fell onto Tobi along with another machine-thing. It was...

"OMFG DDR!" numerous people screamed as the clambered towards the screen. Azuki grabbed Itachi and they jumped on the dance mat. "Um, Azuki, I don't know how to play this..." Itachi said as Azuki searched for another quarter. "Quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter..." she muttered. "Aha! Ok here we go!". She put the quarter in the machine and pressed the button for 'Hard' as in Really Fast. Fast techno music started playing and as the symbols appeared on sceen she ponded away at the mat with her feet. Itachi merely stood there perplexed as the multicoloured arrows flashed on screen. "What the..." When the song finally ended he looked over at an out-of-breath Azuki and said, "What the hell was that?" But before she could answer they were both dragged away by people waiting in line to play DDR.

So for the rest of the night the restuarant was filled with so much techno that it was beginning to look like a rave. "It'd be awesome if we had some bubbles or foam or something...", said Akiha, thinking out loud. Everyone stared. "What?" She said. "DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!" She threw plates at everyone so they'd go away and then began humming the tune to a DDR song.


After about an hour of DDR the food started coming, cuz hey, it takes a long time to cook 300 lobsters, right? Then, as Tasumi shoved another forkful of shrimp alfredo into his mouth like the starving hobo that he was, Roy just couldn't help but poke some fun at everyone's favourite vertically challenged pipsqueak.

"Hey Ed, did you see the size of the shrimp here? They're bigger than you! And that's saying a lot, cuz they're extra-small baby shrimp!", the 'I-Look-Chinese-But-I'm-Not' colonel teased the young blonde sitting near him. He got exactly the reaction he had wanted when Ed stood up on the table and proclaimed his 'I Am Not Short' speech loud enough for anyone in a 3-mile radius to hear. A slightly-annoyed Rukia merely sipped at her black-cherry soda as she watched Ed dance on the table. He did look like he was dancing, after all.


"WAITER! There's a...a...BONE in my fish sandwich...", grimaced a young, bare-chested man with white hair and little red dots above his eyes as he poked a piece of fried Kisame...erm...I mean fish... "For the love of...why is Kimimaro, of all people, complaining about a bone in his fish?" thought the redheaded, hot-tempered young girl as she threw more biscottis at a waiter that slighlty resembled Michael Jackson.

Then, in a last-ditch attempt to end this chapter early, a mischevious blonde man...woman...thing...set a 'cute widdle clay birdie' on the seat beside Sakaki-san and waited until it started rumbling before running out of the restuarant while screaming 'ART IS A BANG, UN!'. Then Red Lobster blew up, and Azuki tried to tack down Deidara to kill him, but Deidara his inside a giant cookie. Peanut Butter cookie.


"Oh! Question! Can we have a pool party?", Said the cookie-clad blonde as his hands licked peanut butter off his face.

"Deidara, I should kill you...but yes. That sounds great!", she said reluctantly. "Plus it a perfect chance to make Itachi wear the swim trunks with little akatsuki clouds on them...hehe..." she thought.

"CAN I BAKE COOKIES!" someone screamed upon hearing the news.

"BETTER YET, CAN YOU BAKE COOKIES AND WE'LL EAT THEM ALL!" someone else piped up.

"NO, NOW SHUT-UP ABOUT THE COOKIES SO I CAN END THIS CHAPTER PROPERLY-"

-BUUUUUUUURP-

Everyone stared at Chiyo-chan as she covered her mouth. "What? Umm..excuse me..." she said bashfully.

Deidara merely continued munching on the giant cookie.


Okay, as usual, helpful notes:

1. Sasori, for those who don't know, is another Akatsuki. He's a puppet man! Tayuya is the foul-mouthed girl in the Sound Five, and Kimimaro is that hot guy with white hair that can use his own bones as weapons. Tobi is -coughOBITO cough-the dude with the spiraly mask that wants to join Akatsuki. 'Tobi is a good boy.' Kisame is a shark in a fish restuarant. Asuma is the dude from Konoha (non-akatsuki) that was on the same team as Kakashi; he smokes a lot. (I'm not sure if his name is Asuma, but I think it is.)

2. Sephiroth is the hot guy with long grey(?) hair from Final Fantasy Advent Children (movie). And as another game reference, Sora is the main character from the Kingdom Hearts games. Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts are both video games.

3. Vash, aka Vash the Stampede, is the main character of Trigun. He wears a red trench coat, and is basically the polar opposite of Alucard; despite them both using big guns.

4. Yes Ed and Roy are in here. Roy is the friggin rude wannabe-chinese Colonel Flamestang. Oh, and Havoc is that guy who always seems to be smoking a cigarette. You may remember him from the 'Flame vs Fullmetal' episode. Sloth is the homunculus that can turn into water; she looks like Ed and Al's mom. -hides spoilers-

5. Harkonnen is Seras Victoria's huge rocket-launcher-esque gun from Hellsing.

6. The woman reading the book is Yomiko Readman, the bibliophile from Read or Die.

7. The lecherous man is Sha Gojyo from theSaiyuki series'. The brown-haired boy is Goku, and the blonde guy is...yup, Genjo Sanzo!

8. Jubei is from Ninja Scroll. Teh awesomeness.

9. The 'foul-mouthed squirrel' is Foamy the Squirrel from the famous Foamy online cartoons. Website is illwillpress.

10. DDR, or 'Dance Dance Revolution' is a dancing game usually found in many arcades. The ultimate version has a great selection of techno-Japanese songs. I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself.

11. Akiha is refering to Akiha Tohma from Shingetsutan Tsukihime; she's usually calm and cold but I made her a rave-loving nightmare. Teh ebil...

12. Tasumi is the guyfrom Speedgrapher, which is an amazing show but not many people I know have heard of it. Google it you idiots! I command you!

13. Rukia is refering to Rukia from Bleach; the former-soul reaper who transferred her powers to the main character Ichigo. Bleach is awesome; if you haven't seen it I suggest you do. Now.

14. I don't like Michael Jackson. Sorry to any Jacko-the-Wacko fans out there.

15. Sakaki-san and Chiyo-chan are two of the main characters from Azumanga Daioh. Chiyo ish a prodigy and Sakaki loves kittys.


Ok, hope that helped. I hope everyone liked this chapter! I'll try to write more soon, I promise! Gomenasai to all who read my stories! Thanks!

SIEG BALL! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY POWER OF THE TENNIS BALL!

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