Chapter 5!
Gaara goes insane, Anna throws people into walls, and OMFG! SHINO!
I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE ANIME/MANGA/OTHER MENTIONED HEREIN. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE FANFICTIONS/FANFICTION AUTHORS MENTIONED HEREIN, OTHER THAN MYSELF (Fullmidget Alchemist). I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN MY OWN CHARACTERS AND THIS REALLY COOL JAR OF NORWEIGIAN JAM!
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Azuki sat in the doorway painting the wall. Blue. Yes, she was painting the wall blue. Not all the walls, mind you, just that particular spot on the wall. A red-haired boy stood behind her, silently watching and thinking 'What is WRONG with her!'
Meanwhile, Tsunade was passed out beside the couch, drunk, surrounded by half-empty saké bottles. As everyone's favourite SEPHIROTH! walked by, she rolled onto her side and snored rather loudly. He shook his head like, 'WTF?' and walked away. Then a black-haired figure clad in green silently creeped into the room. "Hmmm...last time I drank Godaime-san's saké I was able to beat up that Kimimaro-person, so maybe this time...I can beat that TERRIFYING young lady with the weird red hat-thingy..." he mumbled, thinking back to all the times Anna-sama had thrown him into a wall. He could hardly imagine how many times she had thrown the young Asakura into a wall. He silently picked up one of the half-empty bottles and took a gulp of it. His cheeks flushed a bright red as the alchohol took effect and he began fumbling around the room.
Meanwhile, Gaara was drinking soop (yes, soop, not soup. cuz I said so). and he forgot to put ice in it so he started screaming 'OW! HOT! HOT!' and then he died. Azuki laughed and took a huge bite out of a cardboard box. "TASTES LIKE CHICKENS!" she screamed. Then Gaara came back to life cuz he can't die cuz if he does Shukaku won't give him cookies. Gaara loves cookies. He gasped for breath. "OMFG was I dead?" he stuttered, still trying to catch his breath. "STUPID SOOP!" he said, kicking the soup. Then everyone screamed in his ear "MEANIE HEAD!" he ran away muttering something along the lines of 'The moles! They're after me! They'll steal my eyebrows and eat my cookies! Wait...I don't have eyebrows! NEITHER DOES MY DAD!' He came to an abrupt stop and screamed "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE IN MY FAMILY HAVE EYEBROWS!"
"Um...Gaara-sama, I have eyebrows.." Temari said, pointing at her own eyebrows. "And your mom had eyebrows...and Yashamaru...and.."
"OKAY! I GET IT! BUT WHY'D ALL THE RACCOONS FROM LAST CHAPTER RUN AWAY!"
"Ummm...steroids?"
"WAHAHAHAHAA! WIGGY WIGGY WIGGY!" Gaara said, running around in circles. Temari looked at her younger brother and shook her head, muttering, "Why? Why'd he have to be related to ME?"
YASHAMARU IS A DANCING PIGGY!
In another part of the house, large holes were found in the walls. The smell of smell was filling the hall as Azuki moved to another wall and painted it purple. InuYasha poked the walls repeatedly and even ate a little of the paint. "It tastes like bacon bits." He proclaimed rather loudly before cackling manically. Then he poofed away and began kicking Shippo like a soccer ball. Hehe.
And, adding the the holes in the walls, Anna Kyoyama was at this moment proceeding to hurl Yoh into another wall, leaving a fair-sized hole. The young Asakura woke up hours later, mumbling 'Whassamatterhere?' as he rubbed the bump on his head. "I'm surprised he doesn't have a concussion, what with Anna-san throwing him around all the time. She's gonna be one of those abusive wifes you see on COPS, I swear it." Itachi said as he walked past the crushed wall and Yoh. He nearly tripped over a rather short young man who was talking to Yoh. "OMFG DWARFS ARE ATTACKING!" Itachi screamed. Then Ed came barreling down the hall screaming "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOUSY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!" Manta yelled 'Eeep!' as he pushed himself and Yoh out of the way. Itachi poofed away, leaving a fuming Ed to attack random bugs crawling on the wall.
"DIE YOU SONOFABUG!" Ed smushed a beetle. Poor beetle! Then Shino-sama came and rescued all the little buggies and bonked Ed on the head with a rubber chicken.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"
"...Leave the bugs alone." Shino said coolly as he walked away. YAY SHINO! HOT BUG GUY!
Azuki stared at the freshly painted wall. "So...hows life?" she said to the wall.
Itachi glanced at her. "Are you o-kay?" he asked.
"Durgs durgs durgs durgs durgs...why do walls talk incessantly and eat limes?" she asked him. Itachi decided this was NOT the time to try talking to her, and so he went back to his safe-haven (the kitchen) and began making brownies! No, not 'special' brownies, before anyone asks.
"Hey Itachi...where's Azuki?" asked Ichigo Kurosaki as he went to the cabinet and opened a bag of chips.
"Oh, she's having another one of her 'episodes'."
"What's she doing this time? Last time she tried to flush Ed down the toilet..."
"She's talking to a wall that she painted." Itachi sighed as he measured out the ingredients needed for an extra-large batch of brownies. Zetsu read over the latest issue of 'Seventeen' magazine and went 'SQUEE!' at the pictures of Ashlee Simpson at the Grammys. Itachi and Ichigo then proceeded to throw rather large bricks at him.
Outside the door, Azuki continued her conversation with the wall. "So I say to the guy, 'Whats the difference between a Jell-o cartoon, and a fish?' and he says '2 Corndogs for the price of one. Just call that number and mountain dew.' so I eat an ice lolly and he's all 'WTF GET OFFA MY PROPERTY!'. And he expects to make money!". The wall sat there, motionless, unable to comprehend the crazy girl's ramblings.
Then the face of Yondaime Kazekage poked out of the wall. Azuki screamed. "OMG GET OUT OF MY WALL YOU CRAZY PERSON!" she swatted at teh wall with a fly swatter. "GAARA, COME GET YOUR DAD OUT OF MY WALL!" The face sighed. Azuki noticed that it had no eyebrows. "EYEBROWLESS FREAK!" she screamed as she pelted the face in the wall with newspapers.
Gaara peeked down the hall, giggled, and then screamed "DADA! I'VE COME FOR MY GUMMI BEAR HUGS!" as he hugged the face in the wall. It screamed like a little girl before poofing out of existence. Haha Gaara made his daddy go bye-bye.
"This is fascinating." said a bewildered Anna as she, Mamimi, and Orihime sat on the floor watching a lava-lamp bubble. Orihime poked it, only to realize that it hurts when you poke a burning-hot glass jar of goo. Orihime can be such a flake sometimes.
"WHO IS THE FLAVOUR OF SHERRRR-BERT? NAAAA-CHO MAN! WHO MAKES THE SCHOOLGIRLS SWEEEE-TER? NAAAA-CHO MAN!" a drunk Jean Havoc came stumbling down the hall with a fruit basket, singing at the top of his lungs. He stopped for a second, placed the basket next to a pile of socks in the hallway, and then continued his singing-rambling-walking thing.
Ichigo stared at the man for a second, then went back to eating his chips. He went back to the kitchen, where he saw that Itachi was eating a submarine sandwich. He then decided to play a prank on the young Akatsuki.
"Hey Itachi?" Itachi looked at Ichigo while the strawberry spoke. "What's three inches long, has six legs, thirteen eyes, and goes 'crunch!' in a submarine sandwich?" as he was speaking he slipped a potato chip into Itachi's sandwich. Itachi shrugged and resumed eating his sandwich. A rather loud 'crunch!' was heard before a "AAAAAHHH! OMG WHAT THE HELL! EEEEEEK!" (Note: This was originally used in HarvestMoonRaccoon's '30 Ways to Make Hyuuga Neji Mad' story, and I thought it'd be funny to use it on Itachi. The idea is property of her, though, and I give her complete credit. In fact...)
"WHEEEE! HELLO, I'M HERE FROM COPYWRITE LAND! SEE THE PRETTY SYMBOL? ©!" HarvestMoonRacoon bounded into the kitchen just in time to see Itachi turn blue as he choked himself for eating the...whatever it was.
A bunch of other fanfic writers then piled into the room, including the one with the super long name that I can't type..oh what the hell, here's 'Magical-Inkable-Pen-Of-The-Rubber-Duckies-Who-Lives-On-Durly-Lane-With-The-Muffin-Man-Duck-And-His-Muffin-Friends-Who-Rock-Solid-Rock-And-Hate-Michael Jackson'! Then they all had a fanfiction party! With chips and dip! PROVIDED BY KROGER SUPERMARKETS! YAY!
"YAAAY! FELLOW FANFICTION WRITERS UNITE!" Fullmidget Alchemist said as she started doing the Can-Can dance with about 20 cats. She hi-fived HarvestMoonRaccoon before hopping away with her cat-line.
Itachi was still turning blue. But then all of a sudden he wasn't, cuz I don't want to explain
Then everyone moved to the sides of the room as a drunken Rock Lee started breakdancing in the middle of the kitchen. A few people started chanting 'GO LEE! GO LEE! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY!'. Then Shino pulled out an AK-47 and blew up the kitchen. Deidara, who had been asleep up until a moment ago, walked into the (ruined) kitchen. A 'OMFG WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!' look spread across his face and he looked like he was about to faint. Which he did.
Azuki, who was still talking to the wall, walked over and sat on Deidara (like Dei-san did with Gaara in chapter 200-something of the manga).
"Hehe...Deidara makes a good butt-pillow."
Okay! New feature! In your reviews, you can suggest characters that you would like to see in the next chapter, and I will TRY to put them in. I'll give credit to you at the end of the chapter with your character in it!
Notes:
1. Anna Kyoyama from Shaman King is teh awesomeness. I put her in here at the suggestion of UchinaTsuki. Whee! Yoh Asakura is also from Shaman King; he's the lazy one.
2. I just couldn't resist putting Sephiroth in here again. He's so cool.
3. Lee is a master of the drunken fist. He's awesome. Yay Lee!
4. Shukaku is the biju (demon-spirit) sealed inside Gaara. Yondaime Kazekage is Gaara's (evil, yet somewhat hot) dad. Temari (and Kankuro) are Gaara's siblings. I don't think Yondaime has eyebrows, and Kankuro's are painted on with his kabuki make-up. Yashamaru is that dude (Gaara's uncle?) that Gaara killed and then he freaked out cuz he was the only person that had loved the poor little Shukaku-san. -cry- Oh, and Shino is the HOT guy who's body is infested with bugs. He uses them as like...'attack-beetles', and in turn, they live off his chakra. I love beetles. And Shino is sexy. Especially with an AK-47
5. InuYasha and Shippo are from the show InuYasha. I was watching the 3rd movie when I wrote this.
6. Ed and Jean Havoc are from Fullmetal Alchemist. I made up the song that Havoc was singing.
7. Ichigo Kurosaki (his first name means Strawberry)and Orihime are both from the anime/manga 'Bleach' which is SO FRICKEN AWESOME! GO KON! GO KON! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! (not really, I do love Kon though! Yay!) Orihime is cool, but she is sort of a flake.
8. I made Zetsu reading 'Seventeen' cuz I thought it'd be funny. I myself do not read those types of magazines often, and I have no idea if Ashlee Simpson was even at the Grammys. I've never watched the Grammys or any other program like that. But its still funny.
9. Mamimi is the highschool girl from FLCL, she used to be Naota's brother's girlfriend, but after he left, she went to Naota (who's kinda like 'get the hell away from me' at some times.) and she's a total flake. FLCL rocks.
10. HarvestMoonRaccoon and Magical-Inkable-Pen-Of-The-Rubber-Duckies-Who-Lives-On-Durly-Lane-With-The-Muffin-Man-Duck-And-His-Muffin-Friends-Who-Rock-Solid-Rock-And-Hate-Michael Jackson are two of my favourite fanfiction writers here on FFdotNet. I am Fullmidget Alchemist
11. GO SHUKAKU! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! WOOOT!
Ok, hope you liked chapter 5! I was reallyrandom/hyper when I wrote it, andso here it is! I loved how I made Azuki talk to a wall. AndI put Gaara-daddy in here!I will try to add more soon! Review, and give me characters to use in the story! YAY!
ART IS A BANG!
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